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MIKE GARRETT RETIRES, BETS YOU'RE ENVIOUS

Whatever, haters. He's RETIRING, not being asked to leave. The Reggie Bush Heisman is being returned to the Downtown Athletic Club as well, completing a clean whitewash of the AD, Coach, and compliance director of the Reggie Bush era. OJ SImpson got to keep his, so to paraphrase Norm McDonald: no one can ever take it away from you, unless you take cash from agents and live in a borrowed house for a year. Then you can courteously give it back before the issue is forced.

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