FanPost

Princely Rules

INT. BAR AT THE END OF THE UNIVERSE - THE INFINITE

A cold, broken soul scurries on in, nervously grabs a stool, and orders a Manhattan.

A aura exuding regular known locally only as THE PRINCE smirks and cocks his head acknowledging his new neighbor.

THE PRINCE

First time around these parts?

 

THE BROKEN MAN

I'm... I'm honestly not even sure where this place is.

THE PRINCE bellows, not unlike Jabba The Hut.

THE PRINCE

 What do you mean? You're dead.

   THE BROKEN MAN

   I died?! But what of my wife, my kids, my grandkids?! Oh God...

 

   THE PRINCE

   Don't worry. They found happiness in your memories and lived long healthy lives.

 

   THE BROKEN MAN

   What.. What do you mean lived?

 

THE PRINCE

Oh they all lived unto one of the paths predetermined for them. We all do, or perhaps I should say did. You see time isn't particularly meaningful here.

THE BROKEN MAN

Is this hell? Heaven? Purgatory?

 

THE PRINCE

This is the place where all things go before they move onto the next thing.

 

THE BROKEN MAN

I don't understand...

THE PRINCE chuckles at the fright and confusion of THE BROKEN MAN

THE PRINCE

You never did.

 

   THE BROKEN MAN

   Look, I'm not sure who you think I am, but I've certainly never met...

 

THE PRINCE

Robert Stevens Krause. Born September 12, 1945. Wife Martha Ann. Daughters Katie, Kirsten, and Kathy. You were vice president of student affairs at Southwest State University then ultimately were named director of student affairs in the Minnesota State Colleges and University Systems. Your work certainly didn't go unnoticed as you were hired as co-athletic director at Kansas State University on June 6, 2008.

 

KRAUSE

How do you know all these things? Are you... God?

 

THE PRINCE nearly spits up his J&B and water laughing.

 

THE PRINCE

Pretty far from it, my man.

 

KRAUSE

So then how do you know so much about it?

 

THE PRINCE

     Because I'm the man who ruined your life.

 

  KRAUSE

 You can't certainly mean...

 

 THE PRINCE

 I was known at that time as Prince, Ron Prince.

 

  KRAUSE

  You son of a bitch... Our secret deal destroyed me.

 

RON PRINCE

I can't deny I have a certain way about me. Though you certainly didn't seem nearly this miffed when I overthrew you in Russia in 1502.

 

KRAUSE

What... What the hell are you talking about?

 

RON PRINCE

I know the memories may seem like dreams, or perhaps facts you studied briefly in secondary school, but rest assured, this wasn't the first time I've brought you ruin.

 

KRAUSE

None... None of this makes the least bit sense.

RON PRINCE

Let's try to put this in plain terms: you were Nero when Rome fell, I was your most trusted advisor. You were Caesar and I was Brutus. The context changes slightly each time, but the end result remains all but the same.

 

KRAUSE

So what? I'm destined to spend eternity living out lives only to be thwarted at the most inopportune times by the likes of... you?

 

RON PRINCE

Quite the charmed existence, isn't it? I could drink to that.

 

KRAUSE

What if I was to just kill you right here and right now?

 

RON PRINCE

Ha! Take your best shot. There are no alive and dead where we are.

 

KRAUSE

So what now? What next?

 

RON PRINCE

The more apropos question would be when next.

 

KRAUSE

I assume my linear understanding of time is obsolete?

 

RON PRINCE

Now you're catching on.

 

KRAUSE

So what now?

 

RON PRINCE

We drink. We drink and we wait. We drink, we wait, we're born, we meet, we bring about your demise, and we die. Then we do it all over.

FADE OUT

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