PAC 10: WE HAVE A THING FOR ASIANS
by Spencer Hall on Jun 7, 2010 1:16 PM EDT
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Of all Larry Scott's insanely large ideas for the Pac-10's growth, this needs to be plucked from the discussion.
"I think we’re going to be the first collegiate conference to really have an international marketing plan, which I do envision in the future will include broadcasts of our contests and games internationally as well as competitions," Scott said. "You’ll see our student-athletes playing in an organized way in Asia."
This can only mean one thing: BOSS-ASS ASIAN BOWL GAMES. in case you don't know, we missed out on the upside by wisely leaving the United States during the boom times and heading to Asia to make pennies teaching English. <---SPOKEN LIKE A FINANCIAL WIZARD. We thus already have several sites scouted for Pac-10 bowls, and several sponsors in mind.
THE JAPAN BOWL, sponsored by TAKAICHI HOME TENTACLE SEX KIT. It's the bowl games for lovers, and custom made for schools with budget problems since Tokyo hotels come at the reasonable rate of $400 a night for 250 square feet and a squat toilet. Gift bags include Suntory Whiskey and affirming non-affair affair with an improbably beautiful woman well beyond your paygrade as you bond over your mutual existential despair in a hotel.
THE BANGKOK BOWL, sponsored by PANDA MEAT. Maybe you don't want to see Mike Patrick in Bangkok, and maybe you're a person who doesn't understand how truly magnificent this would be, especially since Craig James would have to be there as his broadcast partner, and could end up being sold for his parts. Could also feature unique in-game factors like drifting clouds of pepper spray and transsexual cheerleaders.
THE SHENZHEN FOXCONN/APPLE iPAD BOWL.. Players each receive an iPad made during the game on the sidelines by smiling Foxconn workers. NOTE: worker suicides will not be permitted during the game, and workers must remain on duty for the length of the game and for 38 hours afterward.
THE DEAR LEADER PYONGYANG BOWL sponsored by HENNESSY. Participants in the DEAR LEADER BOWL may NOT leave the hotel and may NOT take pictures of ANYTHING. Leave the pictures to the Koreans, please.
P.S. Refusal to lift aloft cards placed under your seat in a timely, diligent, and orderly fashion may result in being shot LOL KTHX KIM JONG-IL.
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Hmmm
I just naturally assumed that the Dear Leader Pyongyang Bowl would be sponsored by Firefly Bourbon. I always saw golf loving Kim-Jong IL kicking back with some after another of his record-setting rounds.
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I reject your reality and substitute my own." ~ Adam Savage, Mythbusters
Since the Rose Bowl has a parade and everything,
Can we get a bowl attached to the Parade of the Penis that Japan has every other week or so?
Trying to come up with a way to validate that
Without Google having a lower opinion of me than it does already. Failing.
by commodore_dude on Jun 7, 2010 1:39 PM EDT up reply actions
You must have googled
Nick Saban Day, Tuscaloosa
We are THE tigersthatsaywareagle
by cowcollege on Jun 7, 2010 3:27 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
The GAMING BOWL in SEOUL
Which will not begin until you construct additional pylons.
Unless Larry Scott plans to invite San Diego State, San Jose State, Cal State Fullerton, Fresno State, Portland State, and Hawai'i, it ain't the Pac-16.
by AllSaintsDay on Jun 7, 2010 1:33 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
That has to be a bowl of the mid-majors. They’re like the players who go 6 pool: able to beat up even lesser competition, and will even occasionally catch a much better opponent while napping/lazy. Not considered elite due to the copious roflstomping that occurs when the rush fails.
I get both of those references
and part of me is glad the beta stops today.
by HoodRiverDuck on Jun 7, 2010 3:23 PM EDT up reply actions
Loger Moore?
Okay, I—when I think of bowl games, I always think of horrible blowout losses. Seriously. Didn’t you see those over here?
No. Loger Moore.
Brian Kelly says no Spicy Sea Nuggets.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jun 7, 2010 1:33 PM EDT reply actions
Singapore Bowl sponsored by Singapore Rattan Cane Export Ltd.
Excessive celebration penalties will not result in moving the kick off back but instead 15 lashes with a bamboo cane.
I really don't know if anything sums up America better. It is simultaneously preposterous, incrediably laughable, impressive, charming, redicoulous, expensive, overpopulated, wonderful, American. -Sir Stephen Fry on visiting the Iron Bowl
It would be sponsored by DSB or HSBC,
Because Singapore is where all your money is.
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- quote that my youth coach used to throw around, it's been co-opted by Nike, translated roughly it means "Football cannot be total without the win"
Taiwan Bowl
halftime fireworks provided by China.
"It’s not Disneyland, people. Get the hell out of the way." NYC Firefighter
by jokastrength on Jun 7, 2010 1:39 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Free parking for musical garbage trucks!
Gift packages for players include betel nuts, Taiwan Beer, and Hei Ren Toothpaste:
/let’s see who gets this one
Brian Kelly says no Spicy Sea Nuggets.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jun 7, 2010 1:45 PM EDT up reply actions
Got (thank you C.S.A.)
But I thought musical garbage trucks was another Japanese peculiarity.
by commodore_dude on Jun 7, 2010 1:48 PM EDT up reply actions
used to be Darkie toothpaste in the 80's
with a grinning black dude. Racial sensitivity has improved!
"Voetbal is pas totaal als je wint"- quote that my youth coach used to throw around, it's been co-opted by Nike, translated roughly it means "Football cannot be total without the win"
THE DEAR LEADER PYONGYANG BOWL sponsored by HENNESSY
I figure this is a natural fit for Va Tech/Iowa, right?
If they have smoked turkey legs, I'm there.
But Hennessy? Good God man, I would rather drink Japanese Bourbon (“Mr. Kentucky Man Black Label”)
Respectfully, pfhokie
Would the Iaow Hawkeyes ever play in these bowls??
Seeing as they are all red-blooded Americans to the core and all.
I'm just wondering how well LSU's "Chinese Bandits" song would go over.
Unless Larry Scott plans to invite San Diego State, San Jose State, Cal State Fullerton, Fresno State, Portland State, and Hawai'i, it ain't the Pac-16.
Ryan Perrilloux would have give the announcers
fits, I tell you.
by haveagreatday on Jun 7, 2010 2:18 PM EDT up reply actions
fuck. "given"
at the Bangkok Bowl, of course.
by haveagreatday on Jun 7, 2010 2:18 PM EDT up reply actions
affirming non-affair affair
. . . are you saying Bob Harris did NOT hit that?
Question: If the announcers for these games were Japanese, and their commentary was hastily translated into English subtitles, would it make a) more sense or b) less sense than Lou Holtz?
Run Behind the Michael James most excellently gifts the ball and transposes behind him the blockers, and who energizes himself toward the line of 40-metres. But calamity! Stops himself by a safety in freedom, Blake Gideon, and relinquishing the ball in forthwith. There are many mens, ruling official declaims to Gideon the ball, Longhorns ball!! Longhorns earn having the ball at 40 metres, their offensive warriors enter the field of activity happy pleasantly! We shall again obtain action in furtherance of these commercial endeavors in sponsorship, namely Daihatsu Motor and Mr. Sparkle!!!
[cue bad karaoke rendition of “Your Cit-tayyy, We Presume To Make Entrance”]
by Doug Gillett on Jun 7, 2010 2:39 PM EDT via mobile reply actions 3 recs
Pyongyang Military Industrial University for Glorious Justification of Pleasure of Dear Leader ACCEPTS ENTRY INTO YOUR PACIFIC 10 CONFERENCE
_________________
I'm Banana dammit!!!
by BurritoBrosShits on Jun 7, 2010 2:50 PM EDT reply actions
Does the Pac 10 understand what they are getting?
Texans aren’t often your first call when establishing international relationships. Sure, we’re friendly and we like our drinks but we are also brash, loud, hypersensitve to the superiority of our state over all else and always right. You don’t send Texans on international visits, we just wait a little while becuase we are pretty sure you will want to come here sooner or later.
Yet even so
President W was well-received and liked by leaders around the world.
Nothing wrong with being sure of yourself.
by An 'eer with a beer on Jun 7, 2010 3:42 PM EDT up reply actions
Nail on the head
especially the last sentence. Because of work, I was forced to live in Texas for four years and I now have the sweet, sweet pleasure of leaving in two weeks for Charleston, SC (MtnEer_in_SC, your rhum will be arriving shortly). I cannot tell you the number of Texans who are incredulous that I would not be chomping at the bit to move back. Why Texans think that we all want to live there is completely beyond me…
Why, thank you Sparrow
You may contact me at g4mpsc@bellsouth.net. I’ll be looking forward to it.
"I like the taste of danger most of all." - Jonatha Brooke
This already happened in the 80s!
It was called the Mirage Bowl, and it was actually in the middle of the season:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mirage_Bowl
I even found a promotion for it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYh7iMyrJuc
"Death is but a doorway, time is but a window, I'll be back."
-Vigo the Carpathian
ND already 1-0 in Tokyo
Thanks to the Japan Bowl played last summer.
I actually think playing bowl games in Asia is a great idea. I mean, what’s the difference in this picture from say a night game in Baton Rouge or Columbus Ohio??
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