THE CURIOUS INDEX, 6/25/2010
by Spencer Hall on Jun 25, 2010 10:29 AM EDT
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PrintTHE SUN BOWL SAYS STEP INSIDE MY HYUNDAI. They might take the Sun Bowl out to Glendale for a feel-good meal, and most definitely will not do them like that Zankou chicken, but the only definite is that the Sun Bowl, the sexy/dangerous bowl game located just a grenade's throw from the most dangerous city in the world Ciudad Juarez, will likely have Hyundai as its sponsor. Step inside, lady.
There's a lot of dudes who still have long hair out there. What's up, long hair dudes? It's the only hairstyle that looks mockable even when you're cut up like a bag of frogs in a Vietnamese restaurant, and has to be hot in the summer. And yet the Fabios among us endure, and sometimes make horrible videos to good songs when all we want is a clean reference for a Hyundai-sponsored bowl game that will, like other Sun Bowls, look like it's being played in a spare set from Starship Troopers. What's up, longhaired bros? Why do you persist in your romance novel hero-dom? We want to understand, we really do. (If you are preparing to use a broadsword in combat, please note this, as it is an acceptable reason for having long hair.)
NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS. As interesting as last year was, this year is far more relaxing for Florida without the heinous, soul-crumbling pressure of repeating as national champions. This lede and offseason fluff piece brought to you by the School of Positive Thinking, Gainesville Chapter. As for the assumption that we won't know if Urban Meyer is okay until after the first loss this season, that seems a bit presumptuous. Let's see if he shows up to SEC Media Days first. <---taking nothing for granted.
DOOLEY UNITS. Derek Dooley is an innovator, since he's inventing his own units of measure and calling for the revival of the pre-Union state of Franklin in his efforts to revive Tennessee's moribund recruiting. This would join "One metric Mangino" in the ranks of "units of measurement based on coaches." (One metric Mangino=4,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 lbs.)
THE SEARCH FOR SPEED IN COLORADO CONTINUES. Even the defensive line admits Colorado needs something, anything like speed, which is perhaps why defensive tackle Joe Silipo used a pipe to pop a rental bike loose from a bike rack in Boulder and rode off on a bicycle that did not belong to him. One Point In the Fulmer Cup is thus awarded, with no bonus points because Colorado has trouble scoring everywhere under Dan Hawkins.
BRING US YOUR CHAMPIONS. Football and 19th century botanical piracy? A natural pairing, of course.
THIS: is the saddest headline we've ever read, but it happens every year in the second week of January so suck it up, alternate universe Spencer.
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". . . (W)ithout the heinous, soul-crumbling pressure of repeating as national champions."
Boo. Fucking. Hoo.
"Be worthy as you run upon this hallowed sod, for you have dared to tread where champions have trod."
by Silver Britches on Jun 25, 2010 10:34 AM EDT reply actions
Shhhhhhhhh.
We’re sure Alabama will deal with it JUST FINE.
/reverse curse
by Spencer Hall on Jun 25, 2010 10:40 AM EDT up reply actions
Reverse curse, thy name is Joe Paterno.
No but seriously, what’s the word on Urban’s health? It’s hard to believe he retired for a day months ago, because it seems like nothing has really changed. Is that accurate?
Do you want the mustache on, or off?
Too bad.
Heartburn is a bitch.
It doesn’t matter how many football games the SEC wins. We will always look down on you.
Everytime I saw Brut on the Sun Bowl
I kept thinking of that Troy Aikman commercial
by Winfield Featherston on Jun 25, 2010 10:36 AM EDT reply actions
every time i saw Brut on the Sun Bowl...
i was hoping they’d play namath’s ad from 1973.
Roll 'Bama Roll: The Champagne of 'Bama Blogs.
vuvuzela’d dat bitch
not drunk, just overserved
by Gen. Stoopnagle on Jun 25, 2010 12:52 PM EDT up reply actions
has namath already been a viking?
if not, he is way past due
He may have stupid hair but Beck was the best live show I have ever seen
The artist formerly known as TCOAN
by Lady Commenter on Jun 25, 2010 10:46 AM EDT reply actions
It was not a spicy morning for Old South
Iced at 8:55am immediately before tax class.
Combine said icing with the professor bringing us the customary friday morning donuts, and Old South’s blood sugar approached Reese’s Pieces Cereal levels.
Further combine the icing and donuts with the enormous amount of coffee consumed, and Old South’s bladder was ready to explode 7 minutes into a 90 minute class.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go prepare for my imminent diabeetus
The new year approaching, click in. Let’s facelift bar! Open the wardrobe is not yet found love after another the right clothes? So, also waiting for? Immediate action bar!
by Old South on Jun 25, 2010 10:58 AM EDT reply actions 2 recs
the world must know my pain
The new year approaching, click in. Let’s facelift bar! Open the wardrobe is not yet found love after another the right clothes? So, also waiting for? Immediate action bar!
What the heck are you doing going to classes in the summer anyway?
Don’t you know that only hastens the onset of full on adulthood?
I have to face adulthood sooner or later
If I take a class that marginally improves my chances at getting a decent job. I need that so I have security against the possibility I get blackout and knock up some butterface undergrad chick. Which, given my decisionmaking recently, is looking more and more like a certainty.
The new year approaching, click in. Let’s facelift bar! Open the wardrobe is not yet found love after another the right clothes? So, also waiting for? Immediate action bar!
by Old South on Jun 25, 2010 11:23 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I took classes every summer in Undergrad
So I took a year off in between undergrad and law school.
What am I doing on my year off? Working.
Fuck adulthood.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains
by Chekhov's Spread Gun Option on Jun 25, 2010 12:50 PM EDT up reply actions
<3 Old South
Randomness + Pain + Humor = Win for All.
by Rana on Jun 25, 2010 12:40 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Agreed
a rec for you and one for Old South
"I like the taste of danger most of all." - Jonatha Brooke
by MtnEer_in_SC on Jun 25, 2010 1:00 PM EDT up reply actions
Never seen a more fitting face to accompany such a sad headline.
Hang in there big guy. You want cupcakes? ibetyoudodontyouyouwannacupcake.
by Infield Elephant on Jun 25, 2010 11:01 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs
and for the appropriate musical accompaniment
"I like the taste of danger most of all." - Jonatha Brooke
by MtnEer_in_SC on Jun 25, 2010 11:17 AM EDT up reply actions
Kudos to Dooley
I remember a certain “Turfmann’s” connessieur drawing a much smaller circle and declaring it the “State of Miami”. Kind of worked out for that program.
Focus – I know this is a new concept for UT football, but if they can do well in that 300mile radius, they can be a “re-loading” power.
Yet I still hate them.
If Dooley wants to absorb the part of Georgia in a 300 mile radius of Knoxville, and that means that Georgia wouldn’t have to stand by and let Alabama and Florida steal Lake Lanier’s water, then I’m all for it.
chuckle....
when we are done with it, West Georgia’s prize will be no bigger than Cooter Pond. Water ain’t all we’re stealing, btw……..
No one's really gonna to be free until nerd persecution ends - Gilbert Lowe
Ah, the Sun Bowl
I have fond some memories of my first trip out west in December 1985. It was night when the charter flight landed. The mountain plateau was stunningly beautiful as we descended. Lights sparkled in the darkened landscape (they were different colors on each side of what must have been the Rio Grande). There were mountains as far as the eye could see, but it was oh, so flat. What an adventure awaited.
Then the sun came up. God on a wheel! What a shithole. And just to prove to myself that El Paso wasn’t the worst place in North America, I spent a day across the river concrete viaduct that passed for a river.
And the highlight of the trip? Well, let’s just say there’s something extraordinarily special about making a trip to watch your team tie its bowl opponent in a piddly December bowl for a second consecutive year.
Vuvuzela'd!
1) Thank The Powers That Be for the Vuvzela button on that youtube link. GOOD TIMES.
2) God bless BYC,TOM now and until the end of time, Amen.
Long Hair
My dad hasn’t cut his hair since the early 90s. But then again he’s more likely to be confused for an extra on Sons of Anarchy than Fabio. I once asked him why he doesn’t cut it, (or as I suggested, go full cue ball, since nature is taking him that way quickly) and he simply said. “I have a lot more important shit to spend my time and money on than a haircut”
It was weird to grow up in an environment where having 4 tattoos, by far the least in my family, gets me mocked for being too corporate.
Screw Franklin
If Dooley’s going geographic old school with a Tennessee bent, let him shoot for dominating all of the lands brought into the Union by Andrew Jackson.
It's probably a good thing it's not Kia sponspring the Sun Bowl
If they did, they might rename it the Kia Hamster Bowl.
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