FULMER CUPDATE: FLORIDA STATE PHONES HOME
by Spencer Hall on Jun 22, 2010 2:02 PM EDT
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TIME VERSUS DECISION MAKING = DERRRRRRRP. The result has to be somewhere around DERP level for Florida state safety Ed Imeokparia in his theft of a phone from a Panama City cellphone store, since so many things scream insta-stupidity about the crime: the sudden nabbing of a $499 cellphone and not the cheaper, and thus more misdemeanor-friendly phones, and the complete lack of tactics. We at least, for Ed's sake, hope he didn't think about this a lot. If "walking out with the phone in my hand" is the best he could come up with after prolonged thought, then he's in dire straits, brain-wise.
(PS. The above graph is our entire refutation to Malcolm Gladwell's Blink. So is our entire personal history.)
The tally for what is a painful felony grand theft charge is three points for Florida State in the Fulmer Cup. Florida State fans thus remind you that Florida has had ELEVEN THOUSAND PLAYERS ARRESTED IN THE PAST YEAR.
THIS IS NOT FUNNY. ULM gets four points for a rape case. And now let's squirm uncomfortably.
Note: IRONY DAGGERS to us for investing too little time in the original graph, and reversing our dependent and independent variables. Corrected.
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Just a link for "It Depends on What You Pay"
Maybe it was like in the Fantasticks?
No it wasn’t.
"It’s not Disneyland, people. Get the hell out of the way." NYC Firefighter
Ponder lacks arm strength? Think again.
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Oh bud...
You silly goose.
by Tubby Sweetbundle on Jun 22, 2010 3:04 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
I'm intrigued by the picture as she doesn't appear to be wearing pants either
Why can’t a crazy hot woman like that work in my office?
Pandemonium Reigns
by Pandemonium Reigns on Jun 22, 2010 3:47 PM EDT up reply actions
He did steal that phone, he did...
But he’s a good kid, he was gonna use that phone to call his mama.
by southernmost on Jun 22, 2010 3:39 PM EDT reply actions 3 recs
without Bobby
FSU’s antics will just be thuggery and not thuggery justified in a manner that makes me laugh. I can’t support that. The only true out and out thuggery I can behind is Miami – its their heritage – they owned thuggery before the rest of us even knew what it was.
I could also support out and out thuggery on behalf of my red raiders if it meant we finally got a defense.
Unfortunately
Randy Shannon seems to have nixed (HA GET IT FIRED COORDINATOR HUMOR) Miami’s thuggery. I fear we will meet a well-behaved and footbaw-proficient Hurricanes team in Chicago in 2012.
Brian Kelly says no Spicy Sea Nuggets.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jun 22, 2010 10:00 PM EDT up reply actions
I don't think
this really qualifies as thuggery. No innocent victims were harmed and no chairs were thrown…yet.
don't forget to call your mama,
i wish i could call mine.
by dirt sandwich on Jun 22, 2010 4:36 PM EDT up reply actions
Nope-sounds like a wedding announcement to me, too.
Of course, it may be depending on if/how long he’s in jail. (Note: my first draft of the last sentence ended “in the pokey”, then I realized that was a redundant statement).
Arizona says hello to the FC
http://azstarnet.com/sports/article_17dcd200-7e25-11df-abad-001cc4c002e0.html
Wide receiver Delashaun Dean arrested on weapons charges and suspended from the team.
Re: squirming
The story reports that ULM’s Hill was charged with “simple rape.”
Do I even want to know how many degrees of rape there are in Louisiana? More importantly, are we even certain that it’s a felony there?
The only kind
of rape he will be concerned with soon is the federal-pound-you-in-the-ass prison variety.
by ESS EEE SEE Speed on Jun 22, 2010 5:34 PM EDT up reply actions
Is that better or worse than complex rape?
The new year approaching, click in. Let’s facelift bar! Open the wardrobe is not yet found love after another the right clothes? So, also waiting for? Immediate action bar!
Top Difficulty Grade
"It’s not Disneyland, people. Get the hell out of the way." NYC Firefighter
by jokastrength on Jun 23, 2010 9:12 AM EDT up reply actions
I'm still waiting
for the other shoe to drop. The one where the “Jimbo is doing such a good job/the team is really unified/the players all have their heads on straight” gravy train meets the “[insert receiver’s name here] found possessing twelve pounds of meth with the intent to hand out to elementary school students” derailment.
by 06N0LE on Jun 22, 2010 10:58 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
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