ANATOMY OF DRAFT NIGHT: THE POUNCEY TWINS AND GUEST
by Spencer Hall on May 7, 2010 12:47 PM EDT
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1. TATS. We knew the Pounceys, who rank among our favorite players to ever suit up at Florida, were tatted up, but damn: someone had coupons about to expire at the ink parlor and used them all at once. The chest tats read "Mind on a Million" on both Mike and Maurkice, which is either the name of their fledgling record company, a statement indicating their intention to be mindful accountants BALLIN' OUT OF CONTROL, or we've read it wrong and it says "MIND ON A MULLION," reflecting their deep passion for door installation.
2. BELLY TAT. Mike appears to have what we can only guess is a Trogdor the Burninator tattoo on his stomach. If so, we admire the commitment to internet humor tropes, since we have a Peanut Butter Jelly Time Banana on our right ass cheek, and now have to endure having something in common with slugjawed Family Guytards. This and our Dramatic Chipmunk tattoo should be warnings to you all. Hey did you get that from Family Guy--SHOOTS YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ATLANTA AIRPORT FAIR AND FUCKING SQUARE.
3. MANHOLE COVER. In addition to a pair of Hei Ji Industries Knobhanger Slacks for Men (mercury poisoning lawsuit pending,) Maurkice has the same blinged-out manhole cover around his neck that he wore on the televising of his draft selection. Mike has Knobhangers' manpris on and is daring you to say something about it. Remember: they're not pants if they're not holding on to your cock for dear life like Frank Drebin hanging off the side of a building.
4. MANPRIS. It still counts if you're wearing rolled up pants: they're manpris, and do not even attempt to deny it.
5. SHOES MADE OF DUCT TAPE. Resourceful, innovative, and stylish, Ashy Larry here is blazing new trails of fashion adventure all by himself.
6. INTERPLANETARY BLING. Not many people are willing to combine their love of tabloid astronomy and oversized ornamental jewelry, but Ashy Larry just had to share his passion for the Mars Man Face.
7. MOST INCONGRUOUS SUPERMAN TATTOO EVER.
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Funny
I thought it was a Dodge Caliber.
Straight Ballin’
Pigskin Punditry
Follow me on Twitter
I reject your reality and substitute my own." ~ Adam Savage, Mythbusters
It's a Merlot Brougham
not quite as nice as the muscatel, but it’ll do for now.
And slow clap on Ashy Larry, as it truly made me lol.
I hope Schnellenberger doesn't see this.
These young fellows need Turfman’s Elephant Skin Suspenders for Gentlemen, ASAP.
Brian Kelly says no hat ceremonies.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 7, 2010 12:56 PM EDT reply actions
Turfman's Pan-American Success Slacks.
They don’t sit below the bellybutton. Seriously, it’s physically impossible for them to do this.
by Spencer Hall on May 7, 2010 12:58 PM EDT up reply actions
A true gentleman's trousers
rest comfortably on his nipples.
Brian Kelly says no hat ceremonies.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 7, 2010 1:09 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? reference sighting!
"I like the taste of danger most of all." - Jonatha Brooke
Is random guy
the dude from those Mobile Leprechaun videos?
"It’s not Disneyland, people. Get the hell out of the way." NYC Firefighter
No...
well not intentionally.
"It’s not Disneyland, people. Get the hell out of the way." NYC Firefighter
I’m scheduled for a vasectomy later today, but I’m reconsidering on the off-chance that I could father a pair of twins to rival the Pounceys in both football and overall awesomeness.
Also, how long til we start seeing corporate sponsored tats on athletes? Like a Dodge Ram emblem on an O-Linemans arm, or a Trojan condoms ad on Antonio Cromartie’s forehead?
Do as I say not as I do?
"It’s not Disneyland, people. Get the hell out of the way." NYC Firefighter
Family Guytards
People who think Family Guy is better than the Simpsons/Futurama/Ren and Stimpy/South Park/Spongebob/Doug/pretty much any other cartoon ever make me want to slit my wrists.
I heard a guy remark the other day about how “smart” Family Guy is. Smart, Orson.
This topic is worth a 2000-comment thread, not unlike the “WWL sucks” thread from a few years ago.
I forgot about Doug
and yes Family Guy has a ratio of one funny moment for every 10000 retarded references/non-sequitors/random stupidity
Hadoken!!
You obviously never came home drunk and watched Boomerang...
at 3 am. Banana Splits is bad, but not animated. Of the animated variety, I saw a kid of wonder twin pairing, with magic rings to raise their Genie so he could save them from trouble, combined with a flying camel that sounded like Scooby Doo. That cartoon is probably a half step below Family Guy.
:(
Is this at least considered funny?
"It’s not Disneyland, people. Get the hell out of the way." NYC Firefighter
http://webpages.charter.net/superheroes/shazzan.html
found it. Whoever made it was on lots of drugs, which is exactly what I told my Conflicts of Law professor in law school when she snuck a Banana Splits question into an exam.
I loathe “Doug” for the simple reason that the theme song haunts my dreams like 10,000 furious, vengeful phantoms.
"God dammit, Donald"
by DougoUConnPlaysFootball? on May 7, 2010 2:19 PM EDT up reply actions
Family Guy is Leno to the Simpsons’ Conan.
by PW and EDSBSMD on May 7, 2010 2:22 PM EDT up reply actions
Gangstalicious might say otherwise!
by An 'eer with a beer on May 7, 2010 2:03 PM EDT up reply actions
Homeys over Hos!
Nah grandad, this ain’t no skirt…..this ain’t no purse…
by Boozy McHound on May 7, 2010 3:59 PM EDT up reply actions
Also..
Gators wear jean shorts.
"It’s not Disneyland, people. Get the hell out of the way." NYC Firefighter
If he hiked them up to his waist, they'd be jorts.
I’m just wondering how you can tell Mike and Maurkice apart. Does Mike just always lean to the left? Is that why he plays left guard?
Longest Atlanta Falcons winning-seasons streak: 2008 - current
The Falcoholic · Blog · Twitter
One of these things is not like the others.....
short dude should get a tat that says “Mind on THEIR millions”
Naked Gun and Chappelle's Show
in the same post? Bravo, sir. “…assault with a concrete dildo!?”
Hadoken!!
Burninatin' thie villages...
Any reference to Trogdor makes my day. Speaking of Dragons and tats, did anybody else see Girl with the Dragon Tattoo yet? If you can handle subtitles its one hell of a spicy film. The tough part is trying to keep from giggling during ther rape scenes because the perp (along with everyone else in the movie) sounds like the Swedish Chef. Yorgin borgin fluurgin and so forth.
How could you ignore Stage Left Pouncey
Throwin’ up the horned hands for Satan? Bevo approves, as well.
"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"
by Stuck in the Plains on May 7, 2010 2:53 PM EDT reply actions
Or
He may possibly be activating his web shooters.
"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"
by Stuck in the Plains on May 7, 2010 2:54 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Oh Shit
I ran over Jesus
"It’s not Disneyland, people. Get the hell out of the way." NYC Firefighter
I see you roll your way into the crosswalk.
Dios mio, man.
Brian Kelly says no hat ceremonies.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on May 7, 2010 3:54 PM EDT up reply actions
Is there any woman on earth...
who finds those pants hanging down with ugly boxers hanging out, or the requisite penguin waddle and crotch grab necessary to keep the aloft, attractive? I respect their right as American citizens to sport a look so ridiculous and repulsive, but I simply don’t understand why they would want to.
You guys do many things we don't find attractive, but for the perpetuation of the species...
we look past it.
by zzgator on May 7, 2010 4:03 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
We do...
sweatpants
Stumpy: It's called the '80s. Ford was president, Nixon was in the White House, and FDR was running this country into the ground. I was bummin' in a hole-in-the-wall town in what is now called "Utah".
I would go a step further...
and point to the velour track suit with odd reference to some sort of adjective for fruit written across the rear.
by Boozy McHound on May 10, 2010 10:29 AM EDT up reply actions
Juicy!
"It’s not Disneyland, people. Get the hell out of the way." NYC Firefighter
by jokastrength on May 10, 2010 3:53 PM EDT up reply actions
Superman tattoo
or giant Anaconda attacking the pentagon?
What you're seeing is team spirit. It's like the Holy Spirit, but more powerful.
-Hank Hill
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