Lane Kiffin has been given the death penalty by Esquire readers, losing by a 41%-59% margin to Florida's Heather Mitts. We're sorry, we just...we need a moment. 

We'll never listen to your bar recommendations or pithy men's fashion prescriptions again, Esquire, nor heed your admonitions about not owning a quality wristwatch. We will buy you from time to time when you put an astonishingly attractive woman on the cover and we need something to read on the airplane, because we enjoy the uncomfortable smile you can flash at the scowling old woman sitting next to you in the middle seat when she notices you staring at the cover. But besides that delightful, awkward moment? No way. You're on probation, so to speak. <----IRONIC PHRASING Y'ALL.