THE CURIOUS INDEX, 5/14/2010

NOT FOOTBALL: But rugby, and an example of the value of a good power clean. 

(Via: 70s Big, of course.) Remember, we're not advocating the willy-nilly tossing of athletes on the playing field. We only mention it to point out that it's really cool, that's all. 

SPEAKING OF QUALITY POWER CLEANS: LSU puts out their spring metrics, with the most eye-popping numbers coming from RB Michael Ford and CB Patrick Patterson. If the numbers are accurate and include the whole team, Patterson outsquatted all but one offensive linemen who he tied at 535 pounds. He also "ran a 4.2." in the 40, but we will believe that as soon as we believe any of the numbers on Florida's records board. (You can't fake plates, but hand-timing at the college level yields pure fiction the NFL combine famously undoes.)  

Michael Ford is a mutant. Just look at the numbers and you will see why. Also of note: Steampunk Emperor Mingo is fifth on the team with a 375 pound bench press ALL HAIL MINGO. 

MMM NEVER TOO EARLY FOR MUSCHAMP RUMORS. Because he could be available, you know. Jon Gruden could also swoop in at any moment and coach your team, the NCAA is really going to hammer [insert team here,] and your team is getting some wacky new uniforms! All of these are the penis-biting horse looking you, Little Hans of the College Football world, squarely in the eye every football offseason. You're probably going to need some more therapy to deal with that. 

ACADEMIC PERFORMERS VERSUS SHERATON HAWAII BOWL CHAMPIONS DOESN'T HAVE THE SAME RING: Notre Dame and Miami working on a deal to play at Soldier Field, which would be Catholics vs. Convicts if Miami hadn't just finished being awesome academically and courteous to old ladies 'n stuff. 

THE BIG TEENS. It's ourfavorite of these so far. 

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