THE CURIOUS INDEX, 4/8/2010

Batman and Superman. Jock Sanders, still fast, still unabashedly quotable:

And yes, this makes Bill Stewart like a corn likker-totin' Alfred.

The Gamecock In Winter. What's sadder than this?

"I’m going to yell and scream and be a jerk," said Spurrier, who was known for throwing his visor at Florida. "I hope one or two players say, ‘That coach Spurrier is yelling at us all the time.’ Nobody has said that lately.

That would be this:

Heading into his sixth season at South Carolina, Spurrier has lost five or more games each of his first five seasons in Columbia. He’s only won more than seven games once.

Still, the 35 wins mark the best five-year run in South Carolina football history.

Skip Holtz suffers Bullshit. USF is losing two bouncing Bulls, one to injuries (G Zach Hermann, who's had enough worrying about the state of his spine, which, valid) and one (DT Leslie Stirrups, unforgivably snubbed by the NOTY brass) to being a butthead for the omnipresent Unspecified Violation Of Team Rules.

Excellence in headline craftsmanship: "Washington hopes to avoid using backup plan at QB." The heck you say!  Elsewhere, the good Doctor advises that while Jake Locker will indeed be a draft-y darling in 2011, first he has to play some football.

Lookit! That guy from the Blind Side changes jobs a very lot!! EVERYONE WHO EVER HAD CONTACT WITH MEMPHIS AND/OR OLE MISS FOOTBALL TALK ABOUT HOW SHADY HE IS GO GO GO.

Hater coaches, you've been bested. Forget Hawkins. Cast aside Gundy. We've apparently missed the golden age of coaching hissy fits. The apex was marked at Columbia way back in 1985:

"They are drug-addicted losers," Garrett said during an intense, rapid-fire assessment of his players after the defeat. "One adversity comes" – he smashed a fist into an open palm – "and bang! They’re right back in the sewer again."
[…]
Garrett kept on coaching but was fired at season’s end. He exacted some revenge. His sons Jason, Judd and John, who were on the team, transferred to Princeton and pummeled Columbia in later years.

IVY SNAPS! The spawn of fired coaches should be exempt from all transfer restrictions, for entertainment purposes.

Article is unrelated: Statistically speaking, one could hypothetically have five times the unprotected sex in Vermont before one caught the kind of down-under creepy-crawlies contracted after just one night of ill-advised romping in Louisiana, but who wants to live forever, right? (Our tipster notes there's clearly a "Garcia vector" here, along with what we're choosing to call the Perrilloux Strain, for though he's long, long-gone from Baton Rouge RP will remain the riverboat gambling king of our hearts.) Also, Vanderbilt wants credit for developing boner medicine. By all means, enjoy yourselves.