USC PRACTICING DERP SMART DERP

We talked to a trainer once who'd worked at a large school (rhymes with Mo-fi-oh Crate) and at an Ivy's football program. He said the differences were simple: the players at the large school could do anything you asked them to do physically but often had to be told said thing a hundred times, while Ivy players knew precisely what you wanted them to do but couldn't do it. He also said the ivy Leaguers framed poor friends* for their murder of girlfriends in sexual episodes gone awry, while elite recruits simply ate them while crying. 

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(This picture is relevant. We promise.)

So we read this with great excitement, then: 

With hip-hop music blasting, the offense was lined up two yards away from the goal line. When the offense scored, the unit mobbed the ball-carrier and taunted the defense. When the defense made a goal-line stand, the group retuned the favor.

Practice like you play, boys. If Pac-10 refs remains Pac-10 refs, they will either immediately begin strafing the offending team with a flamethrower, or begin strafing the non-offending team with a flamethrower, and you wouldn't know which because the Pac-10 has been using blind dadaist circus performers for referees for years. But seriously: USC's going to get a taunting penalty this fall, both because most athletes aren't bright enough to shake off habits selectively, and because Lane Kiffin doesn't give a shit. Period. 

*We kid! Ivy Leaguers have no poor friends. 

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