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Ndamukong Suh Walks On Water, Elected Governor Of Nebraska, And Would Like To Date Your Daughter, Sir

Okay, not really, but really, Ndamukong Suh is pushing to be the most popular man in Nebraska. The current officeholder, of course, is Tom Osborne, which can mean only one thing: we're about to witness the nicest blood vendetta in history, dadgummit. Mark my words: there will almost be swearing and somewhere, somehow, someone will grimace in chagrin at the lengths to which these two men will go to not offend anyone.

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