There were eleven thousand spring games this weekend, so the Curious Index will get all swole on you and attempt to at least mention every single one of them. PROTEEEEEEIIIIIIIN.
THE SPECIAL EFFECTS ARE PHENOMENAL.
Michigan's quarterback situation has gone from Forcier > Robinson to Forcier = Robinson, and if we're drawing the shortest possible line between two points this looks like a long slide from a maxed-out Forcier (no jiggle/shimmy/shake) to Denard Robinson (ample fast-twitch) moving ever closer to the starting gig for Michigan. MGoBlog has their bullets; so does Maize and Brew, who believes Robinson is more than just a runner who sometimes heaves the ball in the air and lets the wind, blind luck, and fate do the rest.
If Rodriguez has the choice between the two, he'll go with Robinson, especially since the Big Ten has not seen a running quarterback like him. Ever. If you say Juice Williams, we're hitting you with this invisible death-hammer. Say Kellen Lewis, and we're hitting you twice. (Say Curtis Painter and we'll hug you and buy you a beer.)
Whatever Rodriguez does, though, he will explain it, and that explanation will require subtitles.
91,000 AND MORE IF THE FIRE CODES PEOPLE REALLY LIKED TO PARTY. Alabama had their usual capacity crowd, and would have had more if they'd shelved concepts like public safety, which given what we've seen on Alabama's highways is probably what they did anyway. Consider that number underreported.
QB AJ McCarron looked fantastic, and though there will be no quarterback controversy with Greg McElroy entrenched as starter, McCarron's stellar performance in the spring game will allow Tide fans to continue their tradition of hating on their floppy-haired (and winning) starter while biting their nails over the potential just sitting there on the bench, who will inherit the job and then be overshadowed by bench talent and the CIIIIIIIRCUUULLLLLLLL OF LAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHFE....
MEANWHILE AT IOWA STATE SOUTH:
As a result, we saw no interceptions, few defended passes, and a whopping 488 passing yards in a very short scrimmage. The various Auburn offenses managed a ridiculous 74 percent completion percentage, for 9.7 yards per pass, with no interceptions and a pair of touchdowns. Missed tackles were a HUGE problem.
The transformation of Auburn into a Big 12 South team is nearing completion.
HAIL HAIL! Of course Iowa lost a running back to an ankle injury in their spring scrimmage (where they didn't even keep score) and had to play a converted safety and fullback to plug the gap, and of course it won't keep BHGP from playing Junior Senior as Iowa continues their unbeaten streak in spring games.
BLAME SCANDINAVIAN GLOOM. Wisconsin's sluggish spring game left everyone sounding like they needed a good stiff drink, which is good because they're in Wisconsin, and therefore surrounded by ten other people just begging for an excuse to get blind drunk and wake up in the woods. (Again.)
ROBERT MARVE HAS EXPERIENCED ALL NOW. The opposite of Miami, Florida is West Lafayette, Indiana, so perhaps that explains why Marve (largely ineffective in Miami) issuddenly thriving in the cold, booty-free and lawful environment at Purdue.
CALL THEM BURGER KING BECAUSE THEY HAVE CHICKEN FRIES WAIT WHAA-- Ole Miss is looking more and more like one of Houston Nutt's "qb play optional" teams, with six different running backs and LOOKOUT CATCHPHRASE:
"Everybody says we lost Dexter, but collectively we have six guys who can almost do the same thing," said Bolden, who ran 57 yards on the Grove Bowl's first play from scrimmage. "We have power backs, we have slashers, we have speed guys. Call us Burger King, because you can have it your way."
This is odd since we've always thought of Houston Nutt's teams as being like Checkers: occasionally triumphant when you least expect it, but associated with pants-shitting when relied on regularly. Across the state, the guys who won the Egg Bowl had a quiet scrimmage and gave qb Chris Relf soothing hugs as he had a good day and clung to the starting position for the Bulldogs.
THIS IS YOUR LINK TO THE OKLAHOMA SOONERS' REPORT: Because the only real point of interest is Kenny Still emerging at wideout, and you know you should mention it because it's Oklahoma, and you know they're kind of a big deal.
"SKULLCRUSHING BOREDOM." Mmm, Stanford spring ball, where they didn't even keep score.
"SKULLCRUSHING ZACH FRASER." This article doesn't actually contain that phrase, but he did throw four TDs in UConn's spring game, so skullcrushing would be the right adjective in a sense.
"SKULLCRUSHING SORROW." The picture says it all, really.
NOW LET'S JUST SLOW THAT RUCKUS DOWN A LITTLE BIT. NC State got off to a rip-roaring offensive start, but Tom O'Brien just thought that was crazy and had the boys settle that hooferaw down before someone got hurt. He then had a glass of milk and painted something beige.
SPEAKING OF SLOWING DOWN THAT RUCKUS. Texas Tech continued to rampage offensively, but give it some time and Tommy Tuberville will slow that down just fine.
THEY CAN'T BE NORMAL EVEN IN SPRING PRACTICE. Boise State somehow managed to make even their spring game festive, settling the thing on a two point tiebreaker because they just have to make football so fun/entertaining/non-drudgey/awesome.
IT iS ALL RELATIVE. Utah pulled 10K for their spring game, which is 1/9 of what Alabama pulled, but it's Utah and they've got other things to do. /bamadoesnthavefreshpowder
RANDOM LINKS BECAUSE THIS IS BECOMING SO TIRESOME: Pitt's spring game was dominated by defense and Dave Wannstedt peeling out in the parking lot in his Camaro; Mizzou notes here; Nebraska notes here; USF's scrimmage was okay except for the whole knee-wrecking thing; East Carolina convenes AND WE'RE DONE.