GUEST COLUMNIST MITCH ALBOM: SUNSHINE ON YOUR SHOULDERS? THINK AGAIN
by Spencer Hall on Apr 13, 2010 12:18 PM EDT
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Just read this piece of shit first. Then, proceed.
Phil Mickelson's jacket this past weekend in Augusta was green. His face, however was red. Phil may have had the short game to prevail on the day, but one opponent was playing a long game with him. It was an opponent many of us don't even know is out to get us. It's time to name names and shed some light on the topic once and for all.
You may have missed it, sure. Sports is full of machismo, and that bravado is its own sunblock against the dangers athletes ignore every day. Flesh-eating bacteria everywhere, paper cuts for professional poker players, the danger posed by sore wrists to bowlers everywhere. Each sport has its unique dangers.
One universal enemy though is hiding right under our noses. Or perhaps I should say hanging over our heads and spreading skin cancer, heat exhaustion, and supporting the carnivorous and harmful cycle of life itself with its relentless energy. It's time someone said it, so let me be the one.
The sun is trying to kill us all.
Yes, even Phil Mickelson.
Maybe especially Phil Mickelson. He looked like a walking million-dollar frankfurter on the back nine and only wore a hat to protect him against the vicious rays of the sun. What America saw was a champion striding forward, but what you should have seen was a mass suicide in slow motion: a crowd of people walking forward into the killing rays of a radioactive ball of intergalactic fire.
As a society, we're all too happy to just go with the flow. It's that attitude that turned everyone into heroin junkies in the 70s, cocaine addicts in the 1980s, and told everyone not to worry on Y2K. I've seen the film. We lost Charlie Steiner that day, and with him our innocence.
It didn't have to be that way. It never does.
The sun is dangerous, and yet every day adults walk directly in its rays, playing fast-paced sports like tennis, golf, and sometimes even extreme sports like baseball. It's bad enough when they do it. They can run the numbers: the fact that eventually the sun will give you skin cancer, which can lead to death.
Death has a 100% fatality rate. I learned that from my mentor, Morrie, who would meet me only at night on a park bench. He was wise. He understood the dangers posed by the sun.
He'd say, "The sun, gravity, and the Ottoman Empire are the greatest threats posed to humanity. Oh, and also the American vacuum cleaner industry. It's unsafe to put that much power in the hands of a woman."
He was wise, but eventually he too died at the hands of the sun. It was out when he passed away, and though I can't tie it to the sun directly, you don't need to be a scientist to figure out that it had something to do with his death. It was around half his life. Don't tell me it didn't know something.
He would have been appalled to see American parents leading their children not just into the sun's deathly rays, but to see them insisting on them running quickly beneath the Yellow Reaper's cancer-beams in environments filled with rapidly moving objects on real grass filled with insects and filthy, potentially toxic dirt. Yet this is precisely what they do, leading generations of our nation's future sports columnists, Hallmark movie writers, and Sports Reporters panelists into early graves.
All because they refuse to see the danger in the huge, fiery radioactive tyrant from space that terrorizes our every moment.
This is clearly unacceptable.
This is not sports.
This is murder, and we are all accomplices.
We can do things about it. It's not too late. It never is. Sports should only be played at night beneath artificial light in a photon-free environment. We can remove all hard objects from playing field to stop the secondary scourge of bruising. Finally, we can insist that each purchase a copy of my new book, The Seventeen Sponsored Individuals You Also Meet in Sandwich Heaven, Brought To You By Glaxo Smith Kline, Makers of the New Vitamin D Supplement Photonexa.
The slaughter can stop. But athletes must lead the way, and until they do it won't be a green jacket I see when I see a sunburned golfer walking up the 18th at Augusta.
It will be a yellow jacket of death surrounding us all, slipped onto our shoulders by the great yellow villain in the sky.
Or will you continue to smile and gladly soak in your own death one sporting event at a time?
It's not too late. It never is.
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Like alcohol, spring break and hotels...
…the sun figures prominently in Florida’s culture. Clearly, it is the Sunshine State that’s trying to kill us. Forcible secession may be our only hope.
If only it could be as safe...
…as Detroit.
by Spencer Hall on Apr 13, 2010 12:29 PM EDT up reply actions
Yes, please, if it would slow down the flood of old New Yorkers, by all means kick us out.
"In case you're wondering what the offense should look like, that wasn't it." - Urban Meyer
I don't make a habit of reading Mitch Albom, so maybe someone can explain
why there is a phone number listed at the bottom of his column. This feels like a trap.
"But dying in war is one thing. Dying on spring break is another."
Well, ok, yeah, these are two different things. Not the same. Good observation.
Also, he wants a better chaperone ratio than 7 to 1 on a Spring Break trip? Isn’t 7 to 1 already kind of a miracle?
11-0
In our senior guys house. Combined with the 10-0 and 11-0 of the two groups of girls neighboring us and our healthy 32-0 ratio yielded 0 deaths, 0 arrests and we all made it to college in the fall.
James’ story is sad and to try and play the blame game is ridiculous.
Yeah BoYeeEEeeE
by InTheBleachers on Apr 13, 2010 12:54 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
That particular line
…made me want Mitch Albom to die falling off a hotel balcony in Fallujah.
STRONG LIKE BOAR
Being a twat is one thing.
Being a sanctimonious twat is another. Guess which one you are, Mitch?
Brian Kelly says no Burger King at 3 AM.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Apr 13, 2010 1:04 PM EDT up reply actions
7:1
i think mitch is unaware of history for the past FUCKING FOREVER. having a ratio of children to adults lower than 7:1 is miracle of the past 30-40 years and only in the US/Europe/Japan.
Can't wait for Albom's next heartwarming novel
The Five People You Get Shitfaced With in Panama City.
by Doug Gillett on Apr 13, 2010 12:39 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
I've been doing it wrong
I keep spending spring break in the Panama Canal Zone.
"Cold Harbor is neither" - Schnitzel
by Eric A on Apr 13, 2010 1:17 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Saddest line in that story
“A version of this story appears on page 21A of the Sunday, April 11, 2010, print edition of the Detroit Free Press.”
The print edition. Detroit. Probably delivered by a guy in a Saturn.
The sun may even be more dangerous than the horse collar tackle.
But seriously, no way I am letting my kid do this. Primarily because I am cheap, and secondly, per South Park, college is the time and place for everything.
this
is the most succint dissection of Albom’s argument or whatever it is. Not to make light of the situation, but if the PCBPD caught almost 1000 minors with alcohol in a two week period and there was only one death, there is not exactly any statistical support for his argument that possession of alcohol by minors is fatal. At most, it is almost totally random.
by haveagreatday on Apr 13, 2010 5:36 PM EDT up reply actions
damn no editing..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHM-hWYuVS4
going back to work..
by bambakophobia on Apr 13, 2010 12:52 PM EDT up reply actions
I don't get it...
I know it’s cool to talk about Mitch Albom as a hack writer, but there was nothing in that article I disagree with. I’ve never understood letting a 17 year old loose in Florida on Spring Break. Not even when I was 17. Admittedly, that could have been because I wasn’t allowed myself. 20 year olds are idiots on Spring Break…17??
by always rebellious on Apr 13, 2010 12:56 PM EDT reply actions
To both above and below--
—it’s that you would even have to say anything so fucking obvious and then bend it into a column that makes it so absurd, much less poke your nose into a horrible incident like this to make a belabored point about how it’s bad that this was even allowed to happen.
by Spencer Hall on Apr 13, 2010 1:01 PM EDT up reply actions
At the risk of taking a minority opinion – I agree with Mitch. His article is stupidly written but he’s right.
I wouldn’t let my kid go away on Spring Break. Period. Unless I was there to supervise.
I wouldn’t let my daughter party with Big Ben.
But stupidly written is the point, really
No one is going to say that parental supervision is stupid. But if you’re going to make this point, is there a way to do it without belittling a death? I mean, he’s a writer, and by some strange accounts, a supposedly talented one. Yet how could you read this article and not feel like he’s mishandling this completely?
STRONG LIKE BOAR
I agree with Mitch
Did I tell you that I am actively opposed to ALL forms of child abuse and spousal abuse? I also don’t like drunk driving, it’s just a bad idea and wrong.
At least we aren't the Raiders?
Additionally
I’d like to state EDSBS’ opposition to lawn darts here and now.
by Spencer Hall on Apr 13, 2010 1:04 PM EDT up reply actions
and dog fighting and vehicular manslaughter is wrong too
He wrote a great column lambasting Michael Vick and Donte Stallworth. Before I read that I drove drunk to my underground dog fighting/gambling ring but after he told me it was wrong I changed my ways.
At least we aren't the Raiders?
by Generzal Zod on Apr 13, 2010 1:08 PM EDT up reply actions
No, seriously.
You can watch crime decline in the area each time he writes a column. We’re still waiting on his anti-murder column. When that one goes through, HOO BOY is that gonna change things.
by Spencer Hall on Apr 13, 2010 1:09 PM EDT up reply actions
It's about time someone took a stand against that
Things were getting out hand and I just kept hoping for a Leader of Men like Mitch to do something.
At least we aren't the Raiders?
by Generzal Zod on Apr 13, 2010 1:12 PM EDT up reply actions
What?!
How can you not love a toy inspired by an ancient Roman weapon that has a very high probability of crashing through your skull? It’s more fun than Bag O’ Glass!
(Grandma ACS had the good foresight to keep a set of lawn darts after they were banned in the US. Good times were had by all.)
Brian Kelly says no Burger King at 3 AM.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Apr 13, 2010 1:19 PM EDT up reply actions
Bags of glass are pretty fun though
Almost as fun as used hypodermic needles in a park – but I bet Mitch is against that too.
At least we aren't the Raiders?
by Generzal Zod on Apr 13, 2010 1:22 PM EDT up reply actions
I survived a lawn dart in the spine
and it made me a stronger person. It also made me quit picking on my little brother for a few weeks.
"Cold Harbor is neither" - Schnitzel
Dang liberals......
That US lawn dart ban is unconstitutional. I’m still waiting for the NRA to file a lawsuit for infringement of the 2nd Amendment.
How am I supposed to defend my property against the scourge of unruly gophers and other varmints?
Liberals blame the Conservatives for it
and we’re stuck with a broken two party system and no lawn darts.
At least we aren't the Raiders?
by Generzal Zod on Apr 13, 2010 1:52 PM EDT up reply actions
Lawn darts was a truly awesome game. Kinda like horseshoes (has the nanny state banned that yet?), only with pointy ends instead of bluntness. I must have played lawn darts a hundred times as a kid back in the ‘60s and ’70s, and no one ever got impaled. Now they’re as vanished as diving boards at public pools.
America went chickenshit right about 1972 or so, I think.
by An 'eer with a beer on Apr 13, 2010 3:20 PM EDT up reply actions
99% of the commenters on this board have no idea what you are talking about.
Just saying, nothing else.
This was deemed too dangerous for America!
Like I said, chickenshit.
by An 'eer with a beer on Apr 13, 2010 5:21 PM EDT up reply actions
Did I mention
that my lawn darts are so old that the sharp metal tips are now covered in rust. What would Mitch say to that? Not only am I hurling shart metal objects but the chance of tetanus has gone up by at least 1.8%.
Like
That’s not even a level of discussion or rhetoric we ever want to engage in ever for any reason. He assumes he’s writing for people who think it’s a good idea to let these things happen. It’s a civics column from a middle school newspaper, not a sports column.
It defintely comes across as an anti-smoking lecture
Do I really need to hear how awful it is anymore since I don’t do it?
At least we aren't the Raiders?
by Generzal Zod on Apr 13, 2010 1:06 PM EDT up reply actions
Yeah, it seems obvious
And yet, every year, dumbasses let teenagers go to Florida and get blackout drunk. So even if we agree it’s not a good idea, a significant number of people don’t think it’s a bad idea. Albom is a terrible hack, but “Hey, shit head. Don’t let your fucking teenager go to Florida and get liquored up because there’s a decent chance he could fucking die” isn’t a terrible idea for a column.
by Tracer Bullet on Apr 13, 2010 1:31 PM EDT up reply actions
This assumes you're writing...
…for dumbasses. We would never assume that. We write for bastards.
by Spencer Hall on Apr 13, 2010 1:50 PM EDT up reply actions
To be sure, but
There’s a lot of money in telling obvious things to dumbasses. Tyler Perry shits raw silk into a solid gold toilet every morning thanks to dumbasses.
by Tracer Bullet on Apr 13, 2010 2:03 PM EDT up reply actions
Sure if your readers are morons
Though I think I have an idea of who reads his column.
At least we aren't the Raiders?
by Generzal Zod on Apr 13, 2010 1:53 PM EDT up reply actions
The real problem is Mitch
seeing this incident and deciding he wants to take a run at getting published in next year’s edition of Great American Sports Writing.
Voodoo Five - South Florida Bulls SBN Blog
The Toughest Blog in America
The real problem who read this and think this is a message that needs to be spread
Mitch is self-important and probably watches the 700 Club and lives in a fear based world, but it is the people who read Mitch that are the problem.
At least we aren't the Raiders?
by Generzal Zod on Apr 13, 2010 1:10 PM EDT up reply actions
Things I won't let me kid do
for fear of a Mitchy article written about it..
1. Open hand slap a lion in the ear
2. Take pictures of Sean Penn on the street
3. Work at Chernobyl circa April 26, 1986
4. Be a killer whale trainer.. at sea
5. Forget the Alamo
I can already tell you're a good parent.
but if you just add never wagering with a Sicilian when death is on the line or getting involved in a land war in Asia, you’ll move up to father of the year material.
And I have to wonder, is this really what Rust Belters consider incisive sports reporting? Please tell me they’re plotting a revolt that involves installing Terrence Moore as the tin pot dictator of the DFP sports pages.
Puh-leeze
Nobody’s reading this swill in Detroit. The A section is just something to wrap the “Help Wanted” ads in to keep them clean and dry.
"Cold Harbor is neither" - Schnitzel
by Eric A on Apr 13, 2010 1:23 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
How many people are left in Detroit?
At least we aren't the Raiders?
by Generzal Zod on Apr 13, 2010 1:28 PM EDT up reply actions
Counting Mitch Albom,Matthew Stafford and Calvin Johnson
I’m gonna go with 2.
by MaconDawg on Apr 13, 2010 1:32 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
i dunno...
terrelle pryor might need to read this article and others of the genre by mitch to learn morality.
Precedent
Mitch Albom once wrote a touching book about how some plucky kids from the inner city (and a private country day school) banded together to try to bring a basketball championship to that plucky underdog the University of Michigan. Their brash talk and fashion sense was misunderstood by the public. Heck, some people even had the temerity to suggest that these guys had been brought in by illegal recruiting inducements, rather than the promise of a top-notch education.
THE GODDAMN GALL!
"Cold Harbor is neither" - Schnitzel
I'd like to think...
…that someone forwarded Mitch a link to this and he had to immediately scrap his Sunday column for next weekend that he had been working on.
the beauty part is it’s not out of the realm of possibility
These Do-Gooders really piss me off
At least we aren't the Raiders?
by Generzal Zod on Apr 13, 2010 1:28 PM EDT up reply actions
I learned all about nuclear war playing Red Alert 2.
Russians get Nukes, Americans get Weather Machines, each costs $5000 to build and takes ten minutes to launch. But you can only build one launcher at a time and each missile only destroyed ~1/3 of the enemy base, so I don’t really see the big deal about nukes. <—my mommy never read the above book
"In case you're wondering what the offense should look like, that wasn't it." - Urban Meyer
I learned from Sid Meir's Civilization
Nukes kill everything within 15 squares and all units within the city and gives two squares of pollution. It’s really not a big deal in the WWIII scenario because every spends the first round popping of nukes we begin production of Star Wars and return to a normal tank battle.
At least we aren't the Raiders?
by Generzal Zod on Apr 13, 2010 4:54 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Civ IV has dominated my life on a number of occasions. I can honestly say there have been days in which I’ve played Civ IV for 14 straight hours without so much as stopping to piss.
MItch Albom’s Life’s a bitch during the off-season.
"God dammit, Donald"
by DougoUConnPlaysFootball? on Apr 13, 2010 9:34 PM EDT up reply actions
Am I the only one
who learned about the dangers of Global Thermonuclear War by watching movies, such as War Games, The Day After, and By Dawn’s Early Light?
"Anytime, Anyplace"
"Life is hard, it's harder if you're stupid." - John Wayne
or On the Beach
"I like the taste of danger most of all." - Jonatha Brooke
by MtnEer_in_SC on Apr 13, 2010 10:28 PM EDT up reply actions
Maybe
I learned about it by crawling under my desk in the first grade and ‘not looking at the bright light’. Mildy traumatic, but entertaining in its own way.
"I like the taste of danger most of all." - Jonatha Brooke
by MtnEer_in_SC on Apr 13, 2010 10:29 PM EDT up reply actions
Yet another reason why I wish I was born earlier.
"In case you're wondering what the offense should look like, that wasn't it." - Urban Meyer
by cantcatchuf on Apr 14, 2010 12:41 AM EDT up reply actions
We need a time machine
If Mitch had only been available to earlier generations of Americans, columns like “Kids aren’t farm animals” and “More flu vaccine would have made 1918 a better year for everyone” could have saved hundreds of thousands of lives.
"Cold Harbor is neither" - Schnitzel
I'm not sayin' nothin'
I once wrote a piece about preventable traffic safety (one of those dumb holiday-weekend space fillers), and included details of a recent teenage kid’s wreck, where he left a (deliberately parent-sponsored) keg party in his 280Z with bald tires, and predictably wound up in a fiery, fatal crash. Turns out his mother’s friends had shielded her from the initial press coverage, but weren’t expecting this little recap. Man, THAT was an uncomfortable 8 a.m. phone call.
It's her fault for letting him drive on bald tires.
A totally preventable accident.
At least we aren't the Raiders?
by Generzal Zod on Apr 13, 2010 1:43 PM EDT up reply actions
No. The moral of this story is in the 280Z. Friends don’t let friends drive furren cars.
"God dammit, Donald"
by DougoUConnPlaysFootball? on Apr 13, 2010 2:33 PM EDT up reply actions
The real culprit here?
Balconies. The balcony scourge will not stand, man.
by ESS EEE SEE Speed on Apr 13, 2010 1:34 PM EDT reply actions
We’ll follow that up with a secondary safety net protocol for when we figure out that drunk kids also like to climb out onto safety nets and fall off.
"Cold Harbor is neither" - Schnitzel
Anyone on a balcony must be on belay.
The hotels will be responsible for supplying the harnesses upon check in and will have safety staff on every balcony to ensure proper usage of the belay before stepping out on said balcony.
by Abbas_Cincinnatus on Apr 15, 2010 10:16 AM EDT up reply actions
AMENDMENT
to award the aleutian islands to our honorable friend from montana to assuage his objections to the bill.
CARPET BOMB PCB
I know its something of a meme of mine by now, but I will continue to advocate until the Air Force listens.
"In case you're wondering what the offense should look like, that wasn't it." - Urban Meyer
How many people have to die before nobody dies anymore?
by Billy Sims' Fro on Apr 13, 2010 1:39 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Seven billion or so, I guess?
"In case you're wondering what the offense should look like, that wasn't it." - Urban Meyer
this balcony shit goes way back..
http://news.google.com/newspapers?id=3a4tAAAAIBAJ&sjid=YZ8FAAAAIBAJ&pg=4241,2590150&dq=dangerous-balconies&hl=en
Gravity is the real enemy here.
At least we aren't the Raiders?
by Generzal Zod on Apr 13, 2010 1:41 PM EDT up reply actions
don't forget mortality
without mortality, none of this happens.
Then I think I know who we should blame.
At least we aren't the Raiders?
by Generzal Zod on Apr 13, 2010 1:51 PM EDT up reply actions
mitch albom?
he is the one who brought the idea of mortality to our attention
Was life's greatest lesson
to get your drunk ass off of that fucking balcony this instant, young man?
Red Cup Rebellion - Changing the Culture of Ole Miss Athletics
Take a picture, trick.
by The Ghost of Jay Cutler on Apr 13, 2010 2:34 PM EDT up reply actions
Isn't life's greatest lesson
to avoid reading Mitch Albom?
I’m pretty sure it’s that or never let an old man lure a young man into a panel van with promises of candy.
Also……When will PETA finall start attcking Mitch for wearing that animal carcass on his head and pretending that it’s hair?
or to help move a mattress.
At least we aren't the Raiders?
by Generzal Zod on Apr 13, 2010 4:55 PM EDT up reply actions
Seriously though I have to sk if he was a scrawny kid with a Marilyn Manson shirt and acne would the world consider it a tragedy?
I remember a scholarship being named for a kid who was skipping school with three friends and took a corner at 75.
At least we aren't the Raiders?
But cocaine...
…okay on balconies, yes?
by Infield Elephant on Apr 13, 2010 1:55 PM EDT reply actions
We will have to consult Mitch about that
At least we aren't the Raiders?
by Generzal Zod on Apr 13, 2010 1:57 PM EDT up reply actions
As long..
as you’re snorting it off a stripper’s fake tits, then yes.
by ESS EEE SEE Speed on Apr 13, 2010 1:58 PM EDT up reply actions
I prefer
To snort my blow off the ample asscheeks of brazilian women.
Yeah BoYeeEEeeE
by InTheBleachers on Apr 14, 2010 8:45 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions
and Jaeger Bombs
Because RedBull gives you…
by jokastrength on Apr 13, 2010 1:59 PM EDT up reply actions
Only if the balcony has a safety net.......
…..and you’re wearing your safety harness and crash helmet
If Mitch Albom ever fell off a balcony
… his earlobes would act as a glider.
Breaking News...
Well kinda- ESPN reports the NCAA is investigating some stuff at WVU from when Rich Rod was there…
http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=5081772
Dammit, Spencer,
I was just gonna read the Albom article as my sermon this Sunday. No one reads the DFP, but some of my college students do read EDSBS. Thanks to you, now I have to work. Asshole.
"...when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to."
— Martin Luther
Preachers are allowed to call people "Asshole"?
Just kidding… I once told my preacher “I fucking love you, man” and explained that on ‘F-Bomb Fridays’ its OK to say it as long as you use it in an uplifting manner… He cracked a smile and said “That’s fucking amazing, fucking appreciate it and fucking back at ya…” then we high-fived…
My youth preacher and I used to go party in Florida during Spring Break with our youth group until this one kid...
At least we aren't the Raiders?
by Generzal Zod on Apr 13, 2010 3:05 PM EDT up reply actions
Good Lutheran preachers
use profanity and use it often. Perhaps not from the pulpit, but amongst colleagues and friends? Abso-fucking-lutely.
"...when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to."
— Martin Luther
Bravo, Spencer
There’s a time and a place for everything. That time and place is probably after his parents finally get through a day without crying.
And remember, Albom doesn’t have to deal with the sun; his smug cloud keeps him protected 24/7.
I suppose a celebrity endorsement is out of the question
Contacted Mitch about endorsing my new “Jarts on Trampoline” home set; still waiting to hear back.
Wait, stupid writing in the Free Press?
Almost as shocking as alcohol and teenagers not mixing well.
pfft... This is clearly a photoshop'd article
I know because I’ve seen a lot of ’shops in my time and people from Michigan never see the fucking sun. Clearly their liberal college education makes them experts on the issue.
Oh, and also, FUCK YOU MR GOLDEN SUN AND YOUR HAPPY WARM RAYS OF DEATH.
I think the real responsibility lies with Ohio police.
They somehow believed that Ohioans could act reasonably and responsibly in weather that did not require a hoodie or a Krenzel jersey.
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING LETTING THEM OUT OF THE STATE, OCIFER?
Pig Pen this here's Rubber Duck, and I'm about to put the hammer down.
Conversation with the wife
As soon as I saw this story when it occurred, I turned to my wife and said, “Honey, in 12 years when our oldest is 17 and he wants to go to Panama City for Spring Break – I’ll tell him okay.” Stunned silence. I quickly added, “I can think of no other place I would rather be with him than as a 49 year old man sitting on a beach surrounded by scantily clad 18-24 year old honeys. Son, Dad will be out here during the day ogling – now around dinner time I’ll get you and your boys all together to go have dinner, then I’ll tail you guys at night – try to get you in Spinnaker; but I’ll be here son. You can have fun, but ain’t nobody dyin.”
This was just a tragic lapse in judgment by two parents who had done everything right up to that point in this kid’s life.
You mean La Vela?
Spinnaker has a bar, but its a family restaurant. Pretty good food for the Beach.
/Panama City native routine… sigh
"In case you're wondering what the offense should look like, that wasn't it." - Urban Meyer
by cantcatchuf on Apr 14, 2010 12:43 AM EDT up reply actions
Spinnaker
My neighbor was the “hose guy” at Spinnaker back in the day. Awsomest summer job evar.
by Bourbon Dawgwalker on Apr 14, 2010 12:47 AM EDT up reply actions
MItch Albom : EDSBS :: Rick Reilly : Deadspin
This analogy may not hold up…because Albom and Reilly may actually be the same person.
"God dammit, Donald"
by DougoUConnPlaysFootball? on Apr 13, 2010 9:37 PM EDT reply actions
I'm sorry
But I’m with Mitch on this one. My friends and I did some dumb stuff. We drank under age and did stupid stuff. But the stupid stuff was more of the “hey someone might get hurt” variety not the “hey, someone might die” variety.
Just let me know when it is no longer “too soon” and I can make ND jokes again.
Sparty on. Gator done.
I'm sure Ancient Chinese Secret will let ytou know when
"I like the taste of danger most of all." - Jonatha Brooke
by MtnEer_in_SC on Apr 13, 2010 10:32 PM EDT up reply actions
I Fail To See
The true difference between “hey someone might get hurt” and “hey someone might die” variety. I understand the concept but it wasn’t like these kids were drag racing while hopped up on tranquilizers running down roads in Appalachia. He was drunk and leaned over a balcony.
I’ve done that. I’m sure the bulk of the commenters and readers have leaned over a balcony drunk. We didn’t fall, he did. Its a sad alcohol related accident but an accident none the less.
When I came home drunk, locked out of the house and I climbed up the fence, walked along it, climbed up a tree and then shinnied out on to a limb before swinging onto my girlfriends 3rd story patio was that “might get hurt” or “might die?”
The point here is Albom is trying to use a relatively random occurence to make some completely obvious and unneccesary statement about underage drinking.
We all agree with him, we just don’t have to suck fucking balls the way he does.
Yeah BoYeeEEeeE
by InTheBleachers on Apr 14, 2010 9:02 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions
It sure seems like Mitch is trying to interfere with natural selection
I’m against this. I like laws that are self executing (no pun intended). And evolution is well beyond theory territory despite protestations otherwise.
That kid could have grown up, gotten bigger, stronger, obnoxious-er, wealthier and drunker. That’s a whole lot of a-hole.
On Iowa
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