THE CURIOUS INDEX, 3/9/2010

BIG 8 ACTION COMIN' ATCHA!  If you don't thank the football gods for HD every day, you should struck down by the weight of a ten film canisters falling on your head from orbit. 

Doubly curious: the sight of a Nebraska quarterback in a highlight film not named "Frazier" or "Frost" in highlight films, and the lack of cloud cover emanating from the stands we would have expected from a CU crowd in 1984. 

YARR, PREPARE TO BE DEPOSED. Mike Leach returns to Lubbock to give his deposition, which could be emotional for him, but should be mitigated somewhat by the obvious transition from South Florida warmth and cerulean seas to the yellowy blankness of Lubbock. Leach, remember, is in exile in Key West. Other football coaches retreat to the golf course. Leach went to the Green Parrot. Leach therefore owns all other football coaches, because golf sucks, and the Green Parrot does not. 

WE'LL JUST DO CHRISTMAS WITH THE TEAM. THEY'LL LOVE IT! Very rarely do you read the truth in a player comment about a bowl debacle, but corner Trevin Wade of the Arizona Wildcats has his own "theory" about why the Wildcats beshat themselves with such sputtering ferocity against Nebraska in the 33-0 Holiday Bowl debacle'ing. 

"People wanted to go home for Christmas and see their families," he said. "I know it's all business and everything, but we're still college kids and people wanted to go home. Had they given us a couple days, people would have come back happy and ready to go." Hmm. Asked about that, quarterback Nick Foles said, "He might have something there but I don't know. I really have no comment on that."

Sounds like that "theory" we have about the connection between drinking half a bottle of vodka on Sunday night and the rest of the week feeling like a methodical beating by a large, angry man with a sledgehammer. A preposterous idea, we know, since Russians wouldn't have the power to steal ATMs singlehandedly without it, but a "theory" nonetheless. 

THE RAGE OH GOD CUT HIS HEAD OFF HE'S INFECTED. Colorado, in year five of the Dan Hawkins EXPERIENCE (Zow! Fireworks! GEEE-TAAAAARRR!! ROCKET! YEAH!!!), has the whole thing figured out and solved. It's about disease, or plague, or AIDS or something. he top item on the agenda during the first offensive line meeting at Colorado this spring was "to eliminate the disease," second year line coach Denver Johnson said.

This ends with the most inspirational involuntary quarantine ever, and possibly Dan Hawkins in a delusional fit chasing "infected" players around with a chainsaw threatening to "cure" them. Take that for inappropriate contact with a player, Mark Mangino! ("I'll send you back there to hang out with your zombie friends on the corner, son!") 

WELL PLAYED, RICK. Of course Rick Neuheisel was the first Pac-10 coach to make over a million a year. In the SEC we believe this was Spurrier--and if memory serves us correctly, Spurrier was the first to break the seven figure mark in college football overalll, and the first to make over 2 mil a year, as well. 

I UNDERSTAND THE CONFUSION THAT HAS BEEN TEXAS A&M'S DEFENSE. Becoming Joe Kines' replacement is hard, but your folksiness rating approaches Yaw Bee Baw's when you have 80 first cousins on one side of your family, and therefore understand the total confusion that has been TAMU's defense in the post-RC Slocum era. 

COUGH COUGH I'M NOT FEELING SO WELL I THINK MY HEART IS FEELING STOP-PY TODAY. Steve, you better take this one, I'm  (sounds of Modern Warfare 2 in background)  not feeling all that great today. 

RICH RODRIGUEZ SHOULD REALLY STOP TALKING. 

Seriously. 

The media coverage of your program has been tough. In your opinion, has it been fair?

"That's an interesting question. I've never really thought about it much. You understand it's part of the job. A lot of people say there's so much more media coverage [at UM] but really, at West Virginia, we had quite a bit of media coverage, and good media coverage.

"Did RichRod just not grant us superiority over the West Virginia media?" Ann Arbor Media Scrutiny Force, assemble and strike for the Fourth Estate! <---most inflated sense of self-importance in any small media market ever and that includes Alabama football media oh yeah bitch you read that right. Rich Rodriguez has been appropriating office supplies at a breakneck, reckless pace AND WE HAVE FILM!