WE HAVE A TREMENDOUS AMOUNT OF RESPECT FOR THE UNIVERSITY OF AUBURN. Around 45 seconds in, if you please. 

This is either an unintentional confusion of Auburn's name, or a deliberate slight, since we all know Auburn's real name is THE University of Phoenix, not "the University of Auburn." CyberTyde delights in your manipulations at the hands of his finest creation, the SABAN-BOT FOOTBALL COACH AND SOFT SERVE ICE CREAM MACHINE MODEL 3899. The ice cream doesn't come from his ass, you disgusting person. It comes from his penis, and he'll be distributing it at the Hoover Wal-Mart Supercenter personally today at 3 p.m. The lines will be around the block. 

TASED AND CONFUSED. LSU wideout Terrance Tolliver was arrested for disturbing the peace, public intoxication and interfering with a police officer early Sunday morning for his involvement in a fight outside Fred's in Baton Rouge. Tolliver would merely be awarded a single point for getting three misdemeanor citations in a night, but the score will be upped to four because he rode the lightning, always a bonus time situation in Fulmer Cup points. (Via: ATVS) 

FURTHER OREGONiAN INTOXICATION. Josh Israel Kaddu, a sophomore linebacker with the Oregon Ducks, soils his team's spotless 2010 disciplinary reputation by picking up a citation for underage drinking in Eugene. WHY ARE THEY OUT OF CONTROL HE SHOULD BE FIRED<---every stupid-ass columnist stuck for content in the next week.

THE HARDEST PART ABOUT STEALING A WII IS TELLING YOUR PARENTS THAT YOU'RE GAY. Stealing is wrong, but stealing and stealing a Wii is wrong and third-grade gay. He's a walk-on who hasn't done anything with USF yet, so no points awarded, but if Jim Leavitt were there he'd give that child the good, solid possible slapping/shaking/headbutt he needed to keep him in line. 

WHY DID YOU WARN HIM? Was Bobby Bowden headed to Rio? And if so, why did an MGoBlog reader keep him from being robbed at stunning-model-point?