SEANTREL HENDERSON'S FATHER SIGNS WITH USC, SON TO FOLLOW

Seantrel Henderson's father ended the long, tired drama of his extended courtship with USC by finally having his son sign the damn thing today, thus formally locking him into USC. Wait, dammit. That should read Seantrel. Yes. That should be Seantrel, not his father, who has no undue influence over the process and most certainly does not want his son to go to Los Angeles because, at an advanced age, he wants to get into the rap business.

We know a lot of successful older rappers, and the list is quite illustrious: Buzz Aldrin, for instance, or rappin' Granny, or any other list of horrible stunt rappers credible hip-hop legends. What time is it? GRANNY TIME. 

Lane Kiffin's hip-hop credentials are certainly strong, too, having made his one-year career as a college head coach a diss track, starting beef with anyone and everyone who cared to listen, and like most rappers getting blown off the stage in the end by a real MC like Frank Beamer, AKA DJ VT, AKA "Bee-Murder," aka "the Blacksburg Bomber," aka "Your Wife's Best Friend," aka "Swingin Sacknutz," aka "Delicious Trauma." 

(Rap equivalent: The Game.) 

Sean's father--er, Sean certainly has his own reasons to go to the non-stop glorybath of a USC career. It's not a bad decision, because going to USC is never a bad decision if you don't like luxury, beautiful women, stunning weather, privilege, and a tap in your bedroom you turn through which flows sex, candy, and WIN. It also does not mean it does not suck that the kid might have an outsized amount of pressure placed on him by a father with a pipedream of rap stardom influencing the decision.  

It also says little about the outcome fo the hearing with the NCAA, too, since Seantrel and company likely know only the positive spin Pete Carroll's putting out publicly and whatever private and undoubtedly sunny slant on the situation Lane Kiffin is selling him. As an indicator of greater geopolitical stability for USC, it cannot be take seriously. As an indicator of the continuing and mysterious appeal of Lane Kiffin in the eyes of 18 year old men, it must be added to the baffling and long record of his successes in attracting them. 

P.S. Lane Kiffin eats babies. We've seen him do it. 

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