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Around SBN: NFL Roundtable: Which Draft Pick Is Most Likely To Bust?

YES, WE DO UNDERSTAND WHAT WE'RE MISSING

PROPOSED: Via Seth Davis, basketball commentator and personality, on Twitter: 

Screen_shot_2010-03-22_at_3

COUNTERED: Okay, College Football. You know, monolithic College Football, the giant sock monkey monster that is college football, as addressed as one enormous entity.  We'll advance Davis credit and assume he's not talking to you, the college football fan, who knows exactly what he is missing by not having a proper ending to the season. Otherwise, Seth Davis is the guy at the orgy who, while rolling on the floor with two voluptuous lusty ladies, looks over and happens to notice you're furiously rogering the tailpipe of a car.

"Hey, fella, you might want to get in on this," he says. 

"Nope, good over here!" you say, giving the thumbs up while you bang away at the back of a 2003 Honda Accord DX. Little does he know you're doing it a gunpoint because a demented madman ordered you to, and that would require far too much explanation in the middle of an orgy, and though the functional curves of the Accord may not be sexy or even human, they do require very little maintenance like your last girlfriend, and oh yeah: crazy guy who's holding your whole family hostage and demands you have sex with a car. 

We have no problem with someone suggesting that college football has a terrible way of ending its season. We do have a problem with someone assuming a college fan a.) doesn't recognize the glories of March Madness, and b.) that anyone besides Bill Hancock, Satan, and Derpy McDerperson wouldn't set the BCS and Thom Brennaman on fire and throw them off a fast moving train onto glass-strewn tracks at the first better alternative. (Brennaman is in there, well, just because.) 

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Accords

I prefer the earlier model Accords. Better tailpipe access.

by Warrior Brad on Mar 22, 2010 5:46 PM EDT reply actions  

I couldn't have sex with a Honda

It’s a well known fact that Japanese (cars) have no soul.

So Sayth King Zach I

by kingofzachland on Mar 22, 2010 6:32 PM EDT up reply actions  

They also have horizontal tailpipes

by Spartan D on Mar 23, 2010 10:21 AM EDT up reply actions  

Thom Brennaman believes...

that 20 minutes of being on fire while being thrown from a fast-moving train onto glass-strewn tracks will change your life.

by Grimey on Mar 22, 2010 5:47 PM EDT reply actions  

Not to defend how "we" do things

But there’s something to be said for dying for Labor Day Weekend to get here to watch football, and the games in September being “important”. Except for the weird Hoosier in the office, no one gives a damn about College Basketball in November. Or December. Or even January for that matter.

by Bobby Briggs on Mar 22, 2010 5:49 PM EDT reply actions  

I'm actually friends with Derpy McDerperson

And he says he’s in favor of just going back to the old pre-Coalition bowl system, split titles and all. And that the 1998-2000 Hyundai Elantra is best for tailpipe-f&%$ing.

by Doug Gillett on Mar 22, 2010 5:50 PM EDT reply actions  

Neither the NCAA tournament or the CFB Bowl season are as exciting as the CFB regular season.

What you're seeing is team spirit. It's like the Holy Spirit, but more powerful.

-Hank Hill

by Zoltar on Mar 22, 2010 5:57 PM EDT reply actions   2 recs

Seconded.

"In case you're wondering what the offense should look like, that wasn't it." - Urban Meyer

by cantcatchuf on Mar 22, 2010 6:34 PM EDT up reply actions  

Let's be real...

The NCAA Tournament is considered magical because you have these wacky upsets that are caused by a large field and automatic qualifiers. It would take six weeks to have 64-team college football tournament, which is completely unrealistic. So if you were to have a tournament that would take about the same length of time as the NCAA Tournament, you could only have eight teams. In that system, the only teams getting in would be major conference teams and non-BCS teams who went undefeated, so there would be no true Cinderellas. #8 Ohio State taking out #1 Alabama in the first round wouldn’t be that thrilling compared to Northern Iowa taking out Kansas.

by SparkyJBD on Mar 22, 2010 5:59 PM EDT reply actions  

No, really, let's get real

That would require Ohio State to beat an SEC team in the post season. That’s absurd.

So Sayth King Zach I

by kingofzachland on Mar 22, 2010 6:36 PM EDT up reply actions   2 recs

Not too absurd...

With the Les Miles, Houston Nutt, Coach Dooley Esq., and Steve “1-5 season ending slide” Spurrier still coaching in the SEC I can actually see OSU winning against one of them.

by Kang and Kodos on Mar 23, 2010 2:03 AM EDT up reply actions  

I guess OSU is planning on playing in the Independence Bowl then?

Theoretically, they could intentionally throw a few Big 11 games to get booted down to the Outback Bowl, and finally get that SEC bowl win they’ve been striving for.

So Sayth King Zach I

by kingofzachland on Mar 23, 2010 10:11 AM EDT up reply actions  

Go to go lower than the Outback

Ohio State lost to South Carolina in consecutive trips to Tampa.

by GwinnettGamecock on Mar 23, 2010 12:26 PM EDT up reply actions  

AKA...

the pinnacle of Gamecock football history.

by Mr. Sanchez on Mar 23, 2010 12:45 PM EDT up reply actions  

Wouldn't have to "throw" any games...

with 4 teams in the top 16 of the final polls coming from the Big Ten. And we all know the only way they could play a SEC team is in a bowl game due to the conference by-laws that all non-conference games must be played against one of the following:
1.) Schools with a hyphen in their name
2.) Schools with a direction at the beginning and State at the end
3.) Their weak in-state ACC rival
4.) Schools that end in International
Oh well, no everyone can schedule home and home’s with Texas, USC and Miami. Let me know when Florida travels north of Lexington KY for a game.

by Kang and Kodos on Mar 23, 2010 4:06 PM EDT up reply actions  

Seth Davis is right...

CF desperately needs a regular season where teams are jockeying for RPI points.

CB, in its current steady state, has boiled down to a 3 week season. A kick\-ass 3 week season, but a 3 week season nonetheless. If CF did the same, all that intense eye-cocaine in such a short span would kill me.

by meatybob on Mar 22, 2010 6:05 PM EDT reply actions  

Uh, isn't that exactly what already exists?

(That is, in the likely event of some number of zero-loss teams that is not exactly two.)

by SpartanDan on Mar 23, 2010 7:41 PM EDT up reply actions  

I do like Orson's take on this whole debate from a couple years ago...

http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2008/03/24/airport-stuck/
The net result for us in experiencing the NCAA tourney from the vantage point of deep inside the smoky anus of Vegas is this: college football must never, ever have a playoff. Nevah. That’s our gut instinct right now after having watched the weird dénouement of the tourney’s first weekend in Vegas and realizing that the NCAA cannot effectively coordinate the mating of two donkeys, much less a major football tournament.

Because we’re typing this off our phone while waiting in line to be told that we’re not making our connecting flight in Phoenix, we’ll be succinct: the season remains everything in college football, and a playoff would tangibly devalue the regular season’s value. Man on moon, yes; but seeing the dispassion of turning the game into a neatly compressed lump of productmeat suitable for easy heat ’n bake consumption made us irrationally sad.

As it stands, every team with a decent body of work gets their one moment in the sun, unless they get the Motor City Bowl, in which case they at least get a moment of glory in the rain of fiery ashes and locusts that has been pelting Detroit for 40 years or so. A playoff kills that dead.

by JoeinSavannah on Mar 22, 2010 6:15 PM EDT reply actions  

Hope that wasn’t poor blog etiquite but I figured that since it was from this site it was ok to post a lengthy quote.

by JoeinSavannah on Mar 22, 2010 6:18 PM EDT up reply actions  

Thom Brennaman

says, “Just let Tim Tebow decide the college football post season.”

We’re all better off that way.

by ESS EEE SEE Speed on Mar 22, 2010 6:20 PM EDT reply actions  

To: College Basketball, From: A Notre Dame fan

What is this “post-season” you speak of? I do not understand.

Brian Kelly says no Burger King at 3 AM.

by Ancient Chinese Secret on Mar 22, 2010 6:53 PM EDT reply actions  

Wait!

Does that Honda have a fart-pipe? Are you seventeen?

Then, by all means, proceed.

by NRBQ on Mar 22, 2010 8:06 PM EDT reply actions  

Counter Trap

Ick…Spambot.

As for all the “MADNESS”, Seth—Kentucky or Duke will win it all and that will be SOOOOOOO different. Sheesh.

by Counter Trap on Mar 22, 2010 8:22 PM EDT reply actions  

There's no gun

The accord is paying good money for its shag. College Football can join the orgy, its called 1AA something and any one of your teams is welcome to pull its Ferrari driving cock out of the Honda and do it natural with a chain smoking eastern european “exchange student” working at the local bikini carwash and her roommate who works the tuesday 10am shift at some place that doesn’t have the decency to call itself a Gentleman’s Club. Good times await you College Football, but you’ll have to leave the coin behind.

If you win all your fights, you're pickin em

by imhugeinjapan on Mar 22, 2010 8:22 PM EDT reply actions  

We f&*ked that Honda...

…we f&*ked it good and it bore us a 10lb crystal babe.

Auburn and Tennessee fans are a lot like Slinkys...neither are worth much but you do get a sense of satisfaction from pushing them down a flight of stairs

by bamachine on Mar 22, 2010 9:19 PM EDT reply actions  

If College Basketball was run like College Football....

We’d all be talking about last week’s Kansas/Syracuse National Finals (Best of Seven series), Kentucky, Duke, and West Virginia fans would be moaning about getting left out of the Championship game and I’d be remarking about how Paul Hewitt finished the season with a win in the Big Boy Restaurants Basketball Blow-out!(TM) [Best of Three series] in Milwaukee.

Passing? Who needs passing?

by RamblinWreck007 on Mar 22, 2010 9:27 PM EDT reply actions  

We understand what we're avoiding

Many, but not all, College Football Fans realize we’re avoiding
1) Statements like these:
http://www.usatoday.com/sports/college/mensbasketball/sec/2010-02-26-calipari-sec-title_N.htm
2) A tournament that celebrates making it to the semi-finals as much, if not more, than making or winning the national championship
3) A tournament that names only “a” national champion, but not necessarily the team most deserving of being the national champion.
4) A tournament that is currently considering a 96 team postseason

The system needs reform yes, but not a complete, dramatic, rushed, and forced overhaul.

by TexUGAn on Mar 22, 2010 10:02 PM EDT reply actions  

#3 applies to college football as well as college hoops...

and 2 applies to SEC champions who claim it as a tougher thing to accomplish than a “mythical” national champ.

by Mr. Sanchez on Mar 23, 2010 8:03 AM EDT up reply actions  

I slept through the CBB regular season

Did I miss anything?

March Madness is important to casual gamblers as much as casual sports fans. Some lady at a suburban Atlanta sports bar was pulling for Nova to beat Robert Morris to protect her bracket. She couldn’t name a player on either team.

I’d just as soon let the dilettantes have their basketball tournament, and I’ll keep a regular season with actual meaning.

by GwinnettGamecock on Mar 22, 2010 10:53 PM EDT reply actions  

How much did the regular season mean for Auburn in 2004?

or Miami in 2001 when they beat a national championship playing team in FSU? Or when Nebraska made a title game in 02?

by Mr. Sanchez on Mar 23, 2010 8:04 AM EDT up reply actions  

I'm still wondering how you're gonna pay for this here foobaw tournament

A football playoff would generate a LOT of teevee money, but not infinite money, and it would cost darn near infinite money to do it on the scale of current bowl games. It’s a whole lot easier to fill a 20k arena than an 80k stadium, and if you hold the games at neutral sites, they’ll be emptier than a BC-Boise State Emerald Bowl. If you give the higher seed a home game, that just increases the power of a few football factories at the expense of everyone else, sort of the opposite of the reason for a tournament.

What makes the basketball tournament feasible is that you only have to haul a few dozen people around per team to stage it (counting the bands/cheerleaders), and you can play twice a weekend.

Quit worrying about “college football” and concentrate on your own team, and the current system ain’t so bad. Div. 1A tournaments, like warfare, are great for video games. In real life, neither is much fun.

by Golden Hand on Mar 23, 2010 7:26 AM EDT reply actions  

No neutral sites

You fill 80k seat stadium doing at least the first two rounds at higher seed sites. Finals are neutral and no problem selling out, since I favor 16 team tourney (with 11 auto bids, thus only 5 at large, limiting them to really good teams) the only question is semis. They could be home site, I prefer neutral site on New Years Day. But whichever.

Using BCS standings, hypothetical first round games in 2009:
Troy @ Alabama
GT @ Ohio St
Penn St @ TCU
VT* @ Florida
ECU @ Texas
Iowa @ Oregon
CMU @ Cincy
LSU* @ Boise St

which ones dont sell out? Maybe Cincy?

*for those looking in detail, I I switched VT and LSU to avoid a 1st round conference rematch

by gtne91 on Mar 23, 2010 11:40 AM EDT up reply actions  

And yes this rewards to top 8 (and top 4 in round 2)

Which makes the regular season damn valuable.

Heck, a playoff like this makes the regular season way more valuable for most teams. After losing to Miami, Tech was out of the national title hunt, but with a playoff, the GT-Clemson ACCCG was for a spot. The loss to UGA cost us a home game in the hypothetical first round. That is hugely important. EVERY game would have mattered all season. For us…for Clemson, for Va Tech…for Miami…for whoever was fighting Clemson for the other division title (FSU? BC?)/

And yes, Troy @ Bama would have been ugly and unwatchable and gotten no TV ratings outside Alabama…just like Kentucky v ETSU.

by gtne91 on Mar 23, 2010 11:44 AM EDT up reply actions  

Another good reason for a playoff format like this

Eventually we would end up with a Miami, FL @ Wisconsin type matchup and we would all get to watch and point and laugh as the Canes attempt to play football in Camp Randall in mid-December. Hopefully in a blizzard. That alone is enough reason for me.

by gtne91 on Mar 23, 2010 11:47 AM EDT up reply actions  

And if the Canes won?

What would all the Big Tenners and other assorted Yankees have to hang their hopes on in the future?

by zzgator on Mar 23, 2010 4:05 PM EDT up reply actions  

Canes were complaining about the cold...

In ATLANTA in NOVEMBER of 2008.

Orlando was too cold and too far north for them.

by gtne91 on Mar 24, 2010 10:50 AM EDT up reply actions  

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