COACHING EXPIRY DATES, FLUFFY WHITE DOGS, AND JIM TRESSEL
Jim Tressel's raiseless contract extension brings up all kinds of questions, including this burning one: what the hell does Jim Tressel spend money on? His house has to be paid off now, the kids' tuition paid with but a half-fart of the financial intestines, and the rest given to Mrs. Tressel to spend on her tiny white fluffy dogs.
Jim Tressel doesn't even know their names, which are conveniently enough "Exhibit A" and "Exhibit B."
The raiseless extension does bring up Steve Spurrier's rule: that a coach shouldn't stay anywhere longer than a decade. Tressel's market value becomes more niche-dependent with each year he spends at Ohio State, who must compensate him a bit more each year even as they realize that his own value becomes more specific to his current place of employ.
This is a mistake Nick Saban has never made at any level, switching jobs while maximizing his value and never becoming too sticky or tailored to one place. What Saban does works anywhere you plug him in, which makes him so especially valuable on the open market and not just to one school. In return for paying top dollar for his services, Saban provides one to two championships and an organizational basis for continued success, including overstuffed bins full of blue-chip recruits good enough to get your successor a wildly inflated salary COUGH COUGH LES MILES COUGH.
Thanks, Nick.
Past the ten year mark coaches in some sense become paid less for their absolute skill set and more for their specific role as coach of one university. Tressel, Mack Brown, and Frank Beamer are certainly there, and the greatest indicator is their complete absence from coaching searches. Sure, they're happy, and ridiculously well-compensated, but both sides have settled into full-on marriage: too specialized to live anywhere else, and too comfortable to get wandering eyes.
Which brings up another question: which is the more arrogant bet? Continually keeping your market value at a simmering boil, or counting on being the one guy for the one job for a lifetime's work? Saban, Meyer, Pete Carroll, Bill Parcells in the pros, and Charles Taylor (in the field of mass murder and state destabilization, not football coaching mind you) have all made careers of keeping themselves in demand, and by always leaving the party before the party left them.
In one sense, it's the more mercenary decision, but it's also the less confident one. Joe Paterno never left Penn State, but part of that was Joe Pa assuming he'd be good enough for long enough to never have Penn State leave him. Ditto for Bobby Bowden, who eventually did have the party leave, but only after a run of success rivalled only by Paterno and Bear Bryant. Those are three cases versus the countless counterexamples who assumed they could weather the storm of angry boosters after a rough patch. (See: Phil Fulmer.)
It is a choice between two very different varieties of confidence: assuming you can hold down a job for a decade plus, or assuming you can keep up demand and value in five to six year increments. Manage it well one way, and you're Nick Saban, who could name his price wherever and whenever at the moment. Manage it the wrong way and you're Dennis Erickson.
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Exhibit C
Jim Tressel spends his dough on comfortable yet useful cargo shorts.
When they closed down Cluck-U, a little part of me died.
Tress
Before 41-14 happened, there were rumors on Cbus radio that Tress was thinking of abandoning ship for the Browns. No way.
He flirted with the U in the mid nineties when he was still at Youngstown St. I think he turned it down hoping tOSU would soon come calling. And he was OSU’s third or fourth choice.
He is a rare breed, but his personality is perfect for Ohio State and his style works in this conference and sometimes out of it (4-3 in BCS Bowls). And he’s cool with the gay folks. I love him.
With all that said
I wish he’d buy a fucking fitted shirt.
by f o u r on Mar 16, 2010 1:07 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Dennis Erickson IS in Demand
If it is a football team that you have, but Fulmer points that you lack.
That’s because no-one in their right mind thinks that Saban is better looking that Natalie Gulbin.
by DC Trojan on Mar 16, 2010 2:43 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Tressel gets his raises whenever the likes of Saban, Meyer etc... get theirs
Ohio State has always kept him in the top 5 or better in compensation. He is never going to leave for the pros. He loves the university and is a teacher at his core. Those kind of guys are long term types, not the job-hoppers. I’m glad he is ours. He coaches what talent he has, not trying to fit everyone into his ‘system’, unlike a guy coaching further up US Rt 23. It may not always be exciting, but it is a winning formula and rarely loses when he is favored. I could go on, but then it would be less a post and more a love letter.
As much as I hate perennially losing to the Buckeyes.......
……I do have a lot of respect for Tressel.
Things I Took From This Year’s Rose Bowl:
Yup, Ohio State Football Is Good
Jim Tressel Is At Least All Right, And Probably More
Ohio State Fandom Consists Mainly Of Idiocy, And Will Continue To Consist Mainly Of Idiocy Until They Occasionally Cheer “Go Buckeyes,” And Stop Being Overly Proud That They Can Spell Their State’s Four-Letter Name.
Tracy Porter's gonna score! TRACY PORTER'S GONNA SCORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (HT Takimoto)
by AllSaintsDay on Mar 16, 2010 2:51 PM EDT up reply actions
Go Bucks.
I take it you root for only team I can find whose name is the Bucks:

Tracy Porter's gonna score! TRACY PORTER'S GONNA SCORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (HT Takimoto)
by AllSaintsDay on Mar 16, 2010 4:47 PM EDT up reply actions
I'm not a Buckeye fan, but seriously.
The Tide, Hogs, Dawgs, ‘Cats, Cocks, Vols, ’Noles, ’Canes, BEEEEEEZZZZ, Heels, Pack, ’Horns, Big Blue, Big Red, Hawks, Clones, Buffs, Huskers, Pokes, and whatever the fuck Auburn’s mascot du jour is, all think you may have missed the point.
by Abbas_Cincinnatus on Mar 17, 2010 10:41 AM EDT up reply actions
It’s not that they refer to the team as the Bucks. It’s that they never, ever cheer for the Buckeyes. Ever. Not once, in all the time I was in Pasadena, did I hear anyone cheer for the Buckeyes.
There’s a difference between having a nickname for your team that you occasionally use, and never using your team’s actual name.
Tracy Porter's gonna score! TRACY PORTER'S GONNA SCORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (HT Takimoto)
by AllSaintsDay on Mar 17, 2010 4:25 PM EDT up reply actions
Then, respectfully, you haven’t been around Buckeye fans that much. Because while we do have cheers that refer to the team as “Bucks”, there are also cheers that refer to the “Buckeyes”. And while you’ll see plenty of OSU merchandise with “Buckeyes” emblazoned across it, you won’t find much (if any) referring to “Bucks”. Which is different from many of the other programs Abbas_Cincinnatus references.
I'm an Iowa alum that lives in Chicago...
…so my experience with the ESS EEE SEE is limited to a couple co-workers that went to Alabama. That said, I have NEVER heard these guys refer to their alma mater as the Crimson Tide. It has always been “Tide”, “The Tide” or “Bama”.
by Abbas_Cincinnatus on Mar 18, 2010 9:58 AM EDT up reply actions
I haven’t. I’ve been around the Buckeye fans that went to the Rose Bowl this year, a couple in Deer Valley who saw our crew decked out in purple & gold over New Year’s 07-08, and a few of the ones in New Orleans for the championship the following week.
And I heard them refer to the team as “Buckeyes” less often than LSU is referred to as “Bayou Bengals” and only moderately more than they’re referred to as the “Tigs.”
Tracy Porter's gonna score! TRACY PORTER'S GONNA SCORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (HT Takimoto)
by AllSaintsDay on Mar 18, 2010 5:17 PM EDT up reply actions
So "not trying to fit everyone into his system" is "a winning formula". Got it.
I thought the general consensus was that he DID try to fit people into his system…e.g. Pryor working to become more of a “throwing QB”.
Cough.
Look over here. BCS Championship
I would like to get some more production in the sack area-Les Miles
by One-Handed Grab on Mar 16, 2010 2:50 PM EDT up reply actions
Spurrier
isn’t doing too great of a job of keeping his market value at a simmering boil, and I don’t think he’s trying to settle in at SC either. He defies categories. Click-clack.
by ESS EEE SEE Speed on Mar 16, 2010 1:18 PM EDT reply actions
Actually when I think of Nick Saban
“sticky” and “tailored” are the first two adjectives that come to mind. Followed by “stumpy”.
And I think those miniature Tressel-vermin may be Ewoks. Senor Sweatervest would be the guy to quietly but effectively launch the world’s first effective Ewok breeding program.
Tressel is the last of a breed that's all but died out.
You have to give him props in the era of the mercenary coach. He, Paterno, and maybe Frank Beamer are the last few major, D-IA coaches where the symbiosis between them, the program, and the university is so thorough that they’ll never be separated.
It earns respect because you know that is never, ever happening again. RichRod could have been that guy had he stayed at WVU.
"'I wish to hell God would stop trying to make me a better person." - T.J. Lambert
by Signal to Noise on Mar 16, 2010 2:20 PM EDT reply actions
Anyone coaching that size of program is a millionaire, so personal wealth isn’t much of a distinguishing variable. Is he supposed to remain poor to show his devotion?
Beamer’s been at VT a whole lot longer than Tressel’s been at Ohio State. If anyone’s a “maybe,” it’s the latter.
by Synaesthesia on Mar 16, 2010 2:34 PM EDT up reply actions
very fair.
I think I threw in a “maybe” for pacing and because thinking about VT makes my head hurt.
Hereby rescinded.
"'I wish to hell God would stop trying to make me a better person." - T.J. Lambert
by Signal to Noise on Mar 16, 2010 5:40 PM EDT up reply actions
Not to be picky
but it actually says “EXIHIBIT B.” Subcommandante Wayne says, What are you my first grade teacher you fucking fairy?
STRONG LIKE BOAR
Are the hinges on the closet door squeaking to bust open?
Exhibit A: The sweater vests, the neckties, and the overly-groomed appearance he usually sports. Exhibit B: His suspiciously masculine wife. Exhibit C: Those suspiciously fruity shoes…
Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
by Jonathan Werner on Mar 16, 2010 2:35 PM EDT reply actions
well....
the one in back is remarkably average looking in a wholesome midwest kind of way. The one in front? We’ll be kind and say she resembles her mother.
Does the one in front have a tattoo on her right arm? That’s not very wholesome, average, or boring…
"Here are our top priorities: recruit, beat Missouri, recruit, win the North, recruit, win the Big 12, and in most cases if you win the Big 12 then you're playing for a National Championship. And then we're going to recruit."
by KennyGregoryRockThaCradle on Mar 17, 2010 8:08 AM EDT up reply actions
Isn't remarkably average
the midwestern way?
"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"
by Stuck in the Plains on Mar 16, 2010 3:58 PM EDT up reply actions
Just because our girls would rather wear jerseys and jeans
instead of cocktail dresses and high heels, it doesn’t mean they’re less attractive.
It’s the long winters that do them in.
"I think so, Brain, but how are we going to get the bacon flavoring into the pencils?"
Going on my 6th year up in the hinterlands, I agree
They are actually sexy until A) age 25, when the vodka-fueled rutting catches up, or B) February…when everyone is mildly obese (at the least), pasty and ready for some sun.
"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"
by Stuck in the Plains on Mar 16, 2010 8:50 PM EDT up reply actions
Harder than you thinK: Today is Nebraska's second day of sun in two weeks...
It will be gone in time for Friday and more f’n snow…
"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"
by Stuck in the Plains on Mar 17, 2010 5:23 PM EDT up reply actions
Occam's Razor
Raiseless extensions are boring.
QED
P.S.: I’m pretty sure that Woody Hayes ate a small white yap dog for lunch daily during August training camps.





















