A FINEBAUM CALLER CALMLY ADDRESSES THE ISSUE OF ALABAMA SHIFTING ITS SCHEDULE
by Spencer Hall on Mar 11, 2010 5:07 PM EST
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PrintThe Paul Finebaum show, March 11th 2010. John from Opelika takes the line to speak on the topic of Alabama getting the SEC schedule moved around to break up six of their seven conference games granting opponents a bye week before playing the Crimson Tide.
Finebaum: And we have...John, on the line now. Go ahead John.
John from Opelika: Now Paul. PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUULLLLLLL
This lasts seven seconds.
John from Opelika: Now Pawool, I know Nick Saban's done a lot for these boys and for this team and for this town. I'm not here to disrespect what the man's accomplished. Even though he's short.
Finebaum: Now, let's not bring the man's height or lack thereof--
John From Opelika: And I don't mean to sound ungrateful about being an Auburn fan. That ain't what I'm here to do. I know other people are, but that's not what we do. We're not whiners at Auburn. We're better than that. Even if we went undefeated and didn't get a national title in the greatest robbery this side of Sandra Bullock getting the Oscar for The Blind Side. Because we all know Houston Nutt deserved it.
Finebaum: If you'd just get to the point here, John.
John from Opelika: But dammit Paul, and excuse my language, but do they want us to just put down lily pads made of silk and hundred dollar bills under Nick Saban's feet? I mean, I could do my kid's homework for him. BUT I DON'T PAUL. THAT AIN'T HOW IT'S DONE IN THE ESS-EE-SEE.
Finebaum: I presume you're concerned about that big game against Arkansas State to open the 2010 season.
John from Opelika: Paul, it ain't about Arkansas State. They're a fine program. They play in the Sun Belt, where they don't move heaven and earth for one team. They're not doing that for TROY, PAUL. THEY'RE NOT DOING THAT FOR MTSU. AND THE BLUE RAIDERS WOULDN'T HAVE IT BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT SCARED. THAT'S WHERE WE'RE AT PAUL. MTSU has more courage than the Crimson Tide.
Finebaum: Um, they're not in conference, John. That's why MTSU plays them every year. They're in the Sun Belt.
John from Opelika: Don't do that thing you do, Paul. THAT'S DETAILS. They're scared, and now Mike Slive's giving 'em a nightlight the size of a floodlight for Nicky Saban's bedroom by changin' the schedule for 'em. And that's ain't a surprise they don't want to play UL-Monroe again. Remember what happened last time. Don't ya remember that Paul? DO YOU?
Finebaum: They lost. They also won the national championship last year, John.
John from Opelika: I figured you'd say that. You're in their pocket like a can of skoal and a welfare check. And who didn't they play?
Finebaum: Alabama's not in the Sun Belt, John.
John from Opelika: EVER WONDER WHY NOT?
Finebaum: No, John. I havent.
John from Opelika: I'll answer my previous question for you. That team they didn't play last year was UL-MONROE. I think I proved my point Paul. I'm gonna hang up and listen now.
Finebaum: Thank you for your measured and sensible opinions, John.
John from Opelika: WAR EAGLE.
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You could substitute
Charles, Tammy, I-Man, or anyone else, and the call would go exactly the same way.
Charles from Realtown is gangsta as f&%k.
He’s the one regular caller who challenges Finebaum’s bullshit and doesn’t let himself get baited. Everyone else either falls for F-bomb’s crap or just kisses his ass for five minutes.
by Doug Gillett on Mar 11, 2010 5:59 PM EST up reply actions
country boy ass whuppin'
Think Charles is great for the show, but he does let himself fall into that bait trap. Besides, he’s a one trick pony with his trademark line
Fumbles. It was always Fumbles
Just visited your lovely website.
And you think Auburn fans are obsessed with the Dark Side?
I present AUbarnie as Exhibit 1A of what Auburn fans have to put up with year-round. Thank Schnelly’s Moustache I don’t live in that bass-ackward state any longer.
I'm Irish. I'm going to have to deal with something being wrong the rest of my life.
by boddagettaflyer on Mar 12, 2010 7:22 AM EST up reply actions
Did anyone else just picture..
Houston Nutt in a dress accepting the Best Actress award?
Smesmerize!!
hm?
I was going to read your comment but I was too busy watching highlights from the SEC Championship Game
oh look at McElroy hop for the first down
if there ever was a ginger with a soul it’s him
drunk comment of the week: Derek Dooley is like Mike Shula, just not as pathetic
by Wallacewade04 on Mar 11, 2010 5:32 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Malcolm X got Denzel to play him in HIS movie...
could we get Denzel to play GMac in the movie adaption of the 2009 season?
drunk comment of the week: Derek Dooley is like Mike Shula, just not as pathetic
by Wallacewade04 on Mar 11, 2010 5:52 PM EST up reply actions
Pawl, Chris Todd's the best quarterback in history Pawl
Cam Newton shits diamonds Pawl
drunk comment of the week: Derek Dooley is like Mike Shula, just not as pathetic
Sandra Bullock....
like The Blind Side (and fucking District 9) = O-VER-RATED. Worst Oscar winner since Marisa Tomei.
by ESS EEE SEE Speed on Mar 11, 2010 5:27 PM EST reply actions
False.
I hold My Cousin Vinny in high regard. If anything it was the worst win since Julia Roberts Erin Brockovich.
Football is my anti-drug. CollegeGameBalls.com
by collegegameballs on Mar 11, 2010 6:06 PM EST up reply actions
That's the exact comparative win that came to mind when she won the other night.
Oh well…at least they both looked good when they won…same can’t be said for Cher.
whas a ute?
"Yeah, it's Tennessee, that's the way it is sometimes." - Corey Zickefoose, Pulitzer Prize winner and robbery victim
"This is not the end. This is the beginning." - The Great and Powerful Saban
by Thomas Walker Esq on Mar 12, 2010 12:46 PM EST up reply actions
BEST OSCAR MONOLOGUE EVER
“Imagine you’re a deer. You’re prancing along, you get thirsty, you spot a little brook, you put your little deer lips down to the cool clear water and BAM! A fucking bullet rips off part of your head! Your brains are laying on the ground in little bloody pieces! Now I ask you, would you give a fuck what kind of pants the son of a bitch who shot you was wearing?”
Roll Bama Roll - The Champagne of Bama Blogs.
ya'll have
never seen My Cousin Vinny apparently.
“I’m a fast cook i guess!!”
by Spooky112483 on Mar 13, 2010 3:34 AM EST up reply actions
Was that really Houston Nutt in "The Blind Side?"
How were we supposed to know? With the advancements in computer-generated animation, that could have been a fake. I mean, there were none of the usual antics we have to come to associate with the Nutt, like the DB running on to the field with no pants, or the wild “Holy Shit, I’m about to have a stroke!” gyrations as if a rabid squirrel had just latched on to his flesh balloon.
by Jonathan Werner on Mar 11, 2010 7:21 PM EST reply actions
The "Caller" had a point
Saban and Mal Moore were bitching about the 2010 schedule before Bama won their quadrillionth* national championship (I suck with linkage:
http://blog.al.com/bamabeat/2009/12/sec_to_review_scheduling_of_fu.html). It’s bullshit that the neutral higher-ups in Birmingham are suddenly alarmed that The Tahd has to face teams coming off a bye week when Auburn couldn’t get as much as an aw-shucks in 2004. I don’t recall LSU complaining about catching Bama after their bye last year. It’s not too often you hear a NC team whining about the schedule during their title defense year. Why not build in an excuse for not repeating in 2010? Classy method indeed.
*It’s only quadrillionth because google-infinity-pi-millionth isn’t a word yet.
Goddamn, dude...
You couldn’t have lived up to this spoof any better unless you’d called Finebaum yourself
by sandman227ahb on Mar 11, 2010 8:56 PM EST up reply actions
OR...
I only had to suspend reality for the Swindle Champions League post. Swindle punted on this one by not calling Low/ESPN and Moore/Saban/Bama out. He’s the benevolent dictator and it’s his site, but I can express my dismay with Alabama however I see fit. The “RTR and eat it, SEC loserz” posts ring hollow when the Tide fanbase cries foul over its schedule.
It's unfair to hop all over 'Bama...
…if you’re unsure if this has happened before, or if you don’t know if playing this many teams after a bye week is unusual. So you get some satire while we look this up.
by Spencer Hall on Mar 11, 2010 9:53 PM EST up reply actions
Seriously dude...
…six of the 8 SEC teams we play have a bye before they play us. No matter how much venom you hold for BAMA, get a damn brain if you can’t see how whacked that is. It is also leading to stopping it from happening AU, UT, UF, OM, MSU, etc. For some visual evidence of why the 2009 NC’s are bitching.
Since 2007, these are the number of SEC games played when the opponent had an open week prior to the game:
17—Alabama
5—LSU
4—Vanderbilt
4—Florida
4—Tennessee
3—Georgia
3—Auburn
2—Kentucky
1—Ole Miss
1—Mississippi State
0—Arkansas
0—South Carolina
Auburn and Tennessee fans are a lot like Slinkys...neither are worth much but you do get a sense of satisfaction from pushing them down a flight of stairs
last year...
Florida and Bama had a bye before we played them. what was unique is that they were both ranked #1 at the time. That’s worth something….right?….Anyone?….Nope, Ok. Alright….I, uh, I guess I’ll be going…..now…so…..yeah……FACE!
by Kevin@LSU 2.0 on Mar 11, 2010 11:17 PM EST up reply actions
Schedule disparities
Auburn gets a bye… Alabama gets a virtual bye by playing Georgia State. I don’t really see Auburn getting an unfair advantage there. It’s Georgia State’s first year of playing football ever.
LSU gets a bye… Alabama also has a bye… so no advantage there.
Ole Miss has a bye… Alabama plays at Sakerlina
South Carolina has a bye…Alabama plays Florida
Tennessee has a bye…Alabama plays Ole Miss
Mississippi State has a bye…Alabama plays at LSU
Alabama gets a virtual bye at Duke before playing at Arky… Arky gets a road trip to Sanford Stadium. Who has the advantage there?
So, really, Alabama might be -3 overall on the bye week advantage? While that might suck, at least you never draw Tennessee, Florida, and Georgia the same year. Both Florida and Georgia have a year with LSU, Alabama, & Auburn on the schedule. And those teams play a tough in-state rival non-conference the same year…
While the SEC may should tinker… I think this schedule “coincidence” has a lot to do with SEC teams purposefully planning to have bye weeks before they play Alabama. I would take it as a compliment that this many SEC teams hate you.
The dude abides.
You understand that a “virtual bye” is “not a bye”, right?
I'm wrong all the time.
by PeteHoliday on Mar 12, 2010 10:43 AM EST up reply actions
If first stringers don't play does the Pope crap in the woods?
A virtual bye is not a bye, but it is also not a football game played between competitive opponents, so…
The dude abides.
So...
…it’s not a bye. Which means that having a bye would be better. So a team that has a “virtual bye” is at a disadvantage, despite your claims to the contrary.
I'm wrong all the time.
I prefer to think of it as not just hate...
…but also fear. The numbers are ridiculous though and something needs to be done to make it a bit more even. There are no virtual byes. They may be pretty easy competition but you still have to prepare for them, use energy to play them and possibly get injuries playing them.
Auburn and Tennessee fans are a lot like Slinkys...neither are worth much but you do get a sense of satisfaction from pushing them down a flight of stairs
Yes, everyone fears Alabama. /ego petting
Let’s cut the nonsense. Alabama’s practices are more competitive than the game against Georgia State will be. If Alabama has to gameplan for more than two minutes to defeat a team that has never played college football prior to this coming season, then there is a problem. Also, nary a starter could see the field and Bama would still win by 28. That is an off day relatively speaking. Duke may not be quite so, but the premise still holds.
The SEC ought to make an attempt to rectify this, but let’s not act like its the worst schedule anyone has ever played. Your AD had some input into its creation, mind you.
The dude abides.
The Fear part was partially joking.
As for our AD making the schedule, true but we only get to choose our 1 off week, not the six SEC opponents with them just prior to our game. Is GaSt a powerhouse that will wear us down, no but we also don’t get those few days of rest AU will get. Is it really a huge deal, probably not. The real problem comes when you look at those numbers I listed above. Those do not even count this year’s schedule. Seriously, that is sorta f’ed up. BTW, before anyone goes off on our schedule, we put GaSt on there as a favor to a former coach.
Auburn and Tennessee fans are a lot like Slinkys...neither are worth much but you do get a sense of satisfaction from pushing them down a flight of stairs
Of course it's not fair.
The point is we know goddamn well the SEC wouldn’t be bending over backwards to accommodate a school such as Ole Miss in a similar situation.
As a South Carolina fan,
I see nothing wrong with that list.
by GwinnettGamecock on Mar 16, 2010 7:46 PM EDT up reply actions
And Phyllis from Mulga
begins furiously dialing the show.
She’s my favorite caller ever. Go to the archives on his site and listen to all of the ones with her. Absolutely hilarious.
Pig Pen this here's Rubber Duck, and I'm about to put the hammer down.
Mah crybaby daughter
Bitch Bitch Bitch bout dis opn dayte da las month. hollah possum holla.
32 year olds should know better. WHY THE HELLSHOULDYA WORRY WID SATAN AS YER COARCH?
Like who shall beet bama in brydenny?
Or lose to Vince Lite in Kvega$? the forehead in redstik? mebbe beegbaw qb in arky?
wot de hail, we starksvillians don ’pect but a gud chance dere on bryant boolevard.
This is cute Orson
If you had any knowledge of Opelika-Auburn Metro Area you would know that Opelika is the home to uneducated white trash and blacks. In short: fans of the Crimson Tide. You can go into Opelika and you almost immediately see a plethora of beat up old ford 100s and Chevy S-10s with Alabama Crimson tide license plates. One of many reasons to never go into Opelika.
That is really odd...
…I was in Opelika for business today and I saw about 80% AU tags, hats, shirts. So they may be uneducated but you are color blind.
Auburn and Tennessee fans are a lot like Slinkys...neither are worth much but you do get a sense of satisfaction from pushing them down a flight of stairs
okay
If you had any knowledge of Opelika-Auburn Metro Area you would know that Opelika is the home to uneducated white trash and blacks
Not only are you douche enough to be an Auburn fan, but on top of that you’re an elitist racist prick – thanks for fighting the souther stereotype there champ
please fall down some stairs
drunk comment of the week: Derek Dooley is like Mike Shula, just not as pathetic
by Wallacewade04 on Mar 12, 2010 10:13 AM EST up reply actions
Dude, is this you?
I only mention it possibly being you because there is a mention of Wire Road in the comments, as being this guy’s residence.
Auburn and Tennessee fans are a lot like Slinkys...neither are worth much but you do get a sense of satisfaction from pushing them down a flight of stairs
seriously...
let it go man. that’s at least the third time you’ve posted this thing.
Roll 'Bama Roll: The Champagne of 'Bama Blogs.
Does anyone know where I could get some Air Jordan shoes or an Ed Hardy T-shirt?
by haybeav on Mar 12, 2010 10:08 AM EST reply actions 1 recs
what if I only need one boot?
suggestions? Anyone?
by haveagreatday on Mar 12, 2010 11:03 AM EST up reply actions
Um, PF's calls do go that way, but they're almost 100% bama fans.
Like the guy who told Paul Luginbill “You go to hell” becuse he dared rank their 2008 recruiting class #2 instead of #1.
by Alex P in Smyrna G on Mar 12, 2010 10:18 AM EST reply actions
Alpha Rho Phi up in the hizzaw!
Hey, didn’t Tennessee have a similar schedule in Phulmer’s last season?
not drunk, just overserved
by Gen. Stoopnagle on Mar 12, 2010 11:07 AM EST reply actions
Is there evidence that teams really have a better winning % coming off a bye?
Not in a “this is common footbaw knowledge, boy” way, but in a “there are actual, like, statistics” way? If not, this is much ado about nothing.
by 4.0 Point Stance on Mar 12, 2010 11:30 AM EST reply actions
I'm not going to look it up, but tOSU goes thru similar things in the Big 10.
The difference is, we don’t cry over it, we just play. And save the Big 10 isn’t the SEC bullshit. Outside of Alabama and Florida, were a lot of mediocre teams, same as the Big 10.
So just for you Alabama – boo fucking hoo
If you are gonna throw something out, back it up with facts.
We had 17 of these games in the last 3 years, next closest was LSU with 5. They were adding another 6 this season. I don’t care if we have all NFL caliber players and the rest of the conference is tOSU quality, it is BS. ;)
Auburn and Tennessee fans are a lot like Slinkys...neither are worth much but you do get a sense of satisfaction from pushing them down a flight of stairs
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