EMBEZZLEMENT DONE RIGHT

If you have to embezzle, and are caught and given your day in court, and the evidence begins to pile up like so much felonious dandruff from the giant itchy scalp of your misdeeds, you need to remember one thing. When the judge questions your shopping sprees, your extravagant travel, your cars and (yes, always) a boat (the sign you've truly eschewed logic for consumer lust), you must look at the judge with clear eyes and without apologies or shame say this:

"I did it for football, your honor."

When you are exonerated of all charges, we expect but a small finder's fee for handing you the key to your freedom.

5 months ago Spencer Hall 15 comments 0 recs |

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I just knew it was

going to be an Alabama fan before I even clicked on the link. I thought perhaps Tennessee when you threw in the boat, but deep in my heart I knew it would be a discipline of the Church of Sabantology.

Proving that Alabama football fans really do care more than the rest of us.

by MaconDawg on Mar 11, 2010 11:43 AM EST reply actions

Boat doesn't have to disqualify a Bama fan

If you win all your fights, you're pickin em

by imhugeinjapan on Mar 11, 2010 12:42 PM EST up reply actions

Don't act like that thing isn't awesome.

by HarveyBirdmanAAL on Mar 11, 2010 2:27 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs

Where's the cooler?

_________________
I'm Banana dammit!!!

by BurritoBrosShits on Mar 11, 2010 2:45 PM EST up reply actions

if those are jorts

he’s clearly a UF fan

"Yeah, it's Tennessee, that's the way it is sometimes." - Corey Zickefoose, Pulitzer Prize winner and robbery victim

"This is not the end. This is the beginning." - The Great and Powerful Saban

by Thomas Walker Esq on Mar 11, 2010 2:45 PM EST up reply actions

Ok thats a little out of hand...

but in the grand scheme of things… that’s better than Piggly-WIggly giving away Aubrun season tickets with a 50$ or more perchase. 48.75$? Honey go grab another frozen box of chitlins. 1.25$ is a small price to pay for good eatin and auburn football baby.

Relax

by thestreakis9 on Mar 11, 2010 11:48 AM EST reply actions

This is worth...

around 4 more national championships right? CHALK ’EM UP, CLETUS!!!!

_________________
I'm Banana dammit!!!

by BurritoBrosShits on Mar 11, 2010 11:57 AM EST reply actions

Check out the timeline of the crime...

…beginning July 2005.

What kind of logic went through her head to arrive at the following conclusion?

“The first two seasons under Mike Shula were 4-9 and 6-6? YES!! I’m willing to risk my future for that kind of football!!”

by CincySooner on Mar 11, 2010 12:07 PM EST reply actions

Simple economics, really.

Buy low, sell high. Or, in Tide Pride terms, low demand = good seats. High demand = stuck in the upper deck.

I'm Irish. I'm going to have to deal with something being wrong the rest of my life.

by boddagettaflyer on Mar 11, 2010 12:11 PM EST up reply actions

Such a shame....

now she’ll have to auction off that Bear commemorative plate, #62 out of 5000.

by ESS EEE SEE Speed on Mar 11, 2010 12:14 PM EST reply actions

No mention of Daniel Moore paintings? This woman has the gall to be an Alabama with (ill-gotten) disposable income and not buy Daniel Moore paintings. For shame. For shame.

I really don't know if anything sums up America better. It is simultaneously preposterous, incrediably laughable, impressive, charming, redicoulous, expensive, overpopulated, wonderful, American. -Sir Stephen Fry on visiting the Iron Bowl

by RanchyBalls on Mar 11, 2010 12:16 PM EST reply actions