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LOUISIANA TECH QUARTERBACK HAS A QB RATING OF 154 POINT DRUNK

Drunkcod_medium

A friend of ours was once given a CUI--"Canoeing Under the Influence"-- on a river in Florida. The shocker was that you could be given a ticket both for canoeing drunk (which he most certainly was) and that Fish and Wildlife officials could hand out these tickets. At the time it was the equivalent of finding out that Salvation Army bell ringers had the authority to arrest you, which unless they are very sexy they do not actually have, btw. 

Louisiana Tech quarterback Ross Jenkins was given a DUI by Louisiana Department of Wildlife and Fisheries cops, and what's the rule Ross? 1. Watch the safeties, 2. Don't force anything, and 3. Don't take the breath test. Repeat: do not take the breath test, Ross. Ross, whatever you do don't--

According to an arrest affadavit, tests showed Jenkins' blood alcohol level was almost three times the normal level. 

Dammit, Ross. Fundamentals, fundamentals. Ross wasn't quite in the O'Toole-o-sphere, but at somewhere just under a .24 he was nothing short of the clinical term "fucked up." Ross and Louisiana Tech will be given three points for what is truly a grandiose DUI in the Fulmer Cup, and Louisiana Wildlife and Fisheries can go back to arresting pesky largemouth bass tax fraudsters and meth lab-running alligators. (Follow the pelicans: they're always the couriers thanks to their pouches.) 

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Clarification needed

What if I hypothetically took the breathalyzer but declined the field sobriety test(s)?

by She Blinded Me With Violence on Feb 9, 2010 3:36 PM EST reply actions  

field test

I’m convinced the field sobriety test is just a “dance, monkey, dance!” moment for highway patrolmen. I mean, jesus christ, I can’t stand on one foot or recite the alphabet backward when I’m sober.

"Cold Harbor is neither" - Schnitzel

by Eric A on Feb 9, 2010 4:17 PM EST up reply actions  

Just a tip i heard in New York

If you refuse to take the breathalyzer, you automatically lose your license…
If you refuse to take the field sobriety tests, nothing happens.

by Rocket Ship Science on Feb 9, 2010 4:46 PM EST up reply actions  

Bag and tag?

No indication on whether Wildlife and Fisheries tagged Mr. jenkins before reintroducing him to the wild?

by Bunkie Perkins on Feb 9, 2010 3:36 PM EST reply actions  

I once got a speeding ticket from a park ranger, was pretty shocked at the time that they could give out tickets, even more shocked that he pulled me over for doing 41 in a 35. Park rangers are assholes.

Roll Bama Roll - The Champagne of Bama Blogs.

by Todd on Feb 9, 2010 3:54 PM EST reply actions  

I think Fish and Wildlife officers being able to issue tickets like that is a bunch of carp.

"I don't believe in dining on an empty stomach." - W. C. Fields

by W.C. Fields' Nose on Feb 9, 2010 4:17 PM EST reply actions  

well played.

"'I wish to hell God would stop trying to make me a better person." - T.J. Lambert

by Signal to Noise on Feb 9, 2010 4:19 PM EST up reply actions  

Sonny Dykes starts off on the right foot.

All team leaders should show such dedication to getting the offseason going in the right direction.

"'I wish to hell God would stop trying to make me a better person." - T.J. Lambert

by Signal to Noise on Feb 9, 2010 4:20 PM EST reply actions  

In LA

I like the idea that a 0.08 BAC is “the normal level” for Louisiana.

by plw on Feb 9, 2010 4:27 PM EST reply actions  

Normal is such a relative term

Louisiana, like all other states, was strong-armed by the Feds into enacting a 0.08 BAC as the definition of legally intoxicated. From what I could tell during the 7 months I worked in the Greater New Orleans area, “normal” BAC for your average resident was probably closer to 0.125.

"There's an angel on my shoulder, but the devil's at the wheel." - Jonatha Brooke

by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 9, 2010 5:06 PM EST up reply actions  

I think Spencer made an assumption there by saying “under a .24.” If his blood was three times the normal level, a safer assumption is more like 0.50.

by Tanner B on Feb 10, 2010 3:15 PM EST up reply actions  

I blew a 0.18 during a christmas party and felt fine.

by Kevin@LSU 2.0 on Feb 9, 2010 7:46 PM EST reply actions  

Way to do LSU proud Kevin

Gregatron is not responsible for any of the crap he just wrote.
St. Louis vegetarian blog

by Gregatron on Feb 9, 2010 7:56 PM EST up reply actions  

We drink more

Because we do alot less blow than other schools in the SEC cough*bama*cough. Therefore our blood alcohol content can be much higher than the “legal limit” and we can feel fine. It’s called tolerance.

"Tiger Stadium is by far the worst place to play for a visiting team. It's like being inside a drum." - Paul "Bear" Bryant

by Chinese Bandit on Feb 11, 2010 9:38 PM EST up reply actions  

Last Week...

I was stopped at a DUI checkpoint after a night of drinking. I was able to pass the field sobriety checks with flying colors but the cop made me take a breath test before he would let me go. He wouldn’t show me what I blew but he did call over three other cops just to show them my score. He made me call a cab but let me go.

by JIMatUA on Feb 10, 2010 9:01 AM EST reply actions  

I was stopped for running a stop sign in Birmingham after the LSU-Bama game this year...To add insult to injury.

The cop said he smelled liquor in my car as he was writing my ticket.

I told him, “But of course you do, I’ve been tailgating all day and am probably wearing a fifth”.

He didn’t laugh, and told me he wanted me to take a breath test. I refused and he said I had to take a field sobriety test. I passed easily and he let me go.

by LSU Jonno on Feb 10, 2010 9:34 AM EST up reply actions  

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