and to you too, TCOAN! The sleepless nights and endless diapers will be done soon enough, but the memories will be forever. Enjoy!

but I do know that corny baby t-shirts are the best way to clothe a growing babe.

Kaboom, automatically the coolest kid in the daycare.

For the record, I looked for baby shirts that said “LIVE TO WIN.” They don’t exist, yet. This will be my million-dollar idea.

blame Canada

example -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7UKllR0Edo

I too am in my mid-20’s so I’m kidless. However due to my rabid television infatuation I have learned a lot of what I can only assume to be sound, quality parenting advice:

Kids live life 30 minutes at a time and even though they have a major conflict in the first ten minutes they will spend the next 17 minutes working through it in comedic fashion until in the final 3 they realize they need your help and everything ends well and you have pizza in front of the TV and hug.

Sitcoms are real life right?

In the midst of sleep-deprivedness, no one will think less of you if you plop baby Warhammer in her baby carrier on top of the running dryer to make her go to sleep. Trust me.

/end overbearing parenting advice

best to ya’ll and Lil Swin! pisces UP!

and it’s awesome, but damn. I was up at 4:45 this morning. I’ve learned some stuff:

1. You won’t give a second thought to boogers, saliva, or poop after about a week.
2. Soon every shirt you own will look like you live under a condor nest.
3. There is nothing cooler.

to train yourself not to use profanity around the child. I think it was about that time that my little wartiger uttered “Ah shit” in perfect context. There was no question where he learned that.
Congratulations, and brace yourself…

Nine pounds…I’m sure Urban will be arriving after those first steps to see how he runs the quarterback dive.

When laying in bed not wanting to get up.. and wife hands child to you after she just “fed” it… don’t hold child like airplane over your face.. lest you want 98.6 degrees of curdled nasty in your pie hole..

Congrats and +1/8 cocktails to you (because he’s just like you, only 1/8 your size). You will spend thousands of dollars on all the latest toys, only to have your purchases rebuffed in favor of a Wal-Mart bag and a half-full Dasani bottle.

Mrs. Flyer and I don’t have any kids, but I do get to play uncle. Translated: I get to teach my nephew how to cuss, drive a stick at 13, play blackjack and fly an airplane. And when he starts acting up, well, you can always send him back home.

9 el b’s is damn impressive.

I have a couple of pieces of advice . . . ah, who am I kidding?

Coach Johnson is teaching “Mech. Eng 422 – Fundamentals of metal drill press w/lab” this semester where you actually have to finish the drill to pass.

Congrats on the little one. Remember to cover that tally whacker whilst changing diapers (or wear a welder’s mask). Incoming!!!

….the kid is already on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPZCTChe7Qo

Congratulations to the Swindles.

Congrats to everyone involved in the birth of William Tecumseh Sherman Swindle-Smasher of the Army of Tennessee, Raper of Georgia.

Congrats on your bundle of joy. I thought the name Magnus was better than Spurrier Urban Swindle. Will he be eligible for Fulmer Cup points as he gets into trouble around the house and needs a timeout?

I just had my first in December. Fun times to be had. Congrats Orson and female unit who bore the swindle child.

Be a good southerner and put some dip in his mouth when he cries

Don’t be to quiet around the baby. He is going to sleep when he is going to sleep anyway. If he gets used to a certain amount of noise he’ll be able to sleep through it later.

I think every child should get one.

Expect a scholarship offer from Coach Kiffin any day now.

In all seriousness, right now you’re probably thinking Harvard Law, the second coming of Tebow, etc. Know now that if Baby Swindle hits 21 and hasn’t ended up in prison, rehab, or getting a gal knocked up, you’ve done good. Teach ’em how to love…best lesson you can give.

Lil Beav showed up about a year ago, and it’s been … interesting. It’s Kind of sad that the no TV around baby rule was the biggest life style change for me, but there you go.

…..remember that WalMart has a 30 day refund policy, so you got a month to decide whether to keep the little rugrat

Tarantulous

Although you only get 50 cocktails for not naming the little shaver Barkevious Mingo.

Mine is 10 now, and you’ll be amazed by how fast those years will fly by.

The EDSBS Heir Apparent shares my birthday.

Also, dude… nearly 10 pounds? Is Mt. Cody the father?

While nobody can doubt the manfulness of such a moniker, and no doubt he’ll be raised on Turfman’s Scotch-flavored Baby Formula and Turfman’s Hardtack Teething Rings, I was expecting something more like Tebow Ballcoach E.Smiff Swindle.

If you are the infant baptizing type, do try to schedule thing thing before your child learns to talk. We didn’t, and the little guy took one look into the baptismal font and asked the minister (loudly enough to be picked up on the microphone), “Where are the fish?”

I know the birth of my son was the happiest day of my life, and Mrs. MtnEer doesn’t even get on me for saying that.

And now for the parenting advise (and I am serious about this)
1. Keep him long on hugs and short on pocket change.
2. Read to him every chance you get. If you do not get enough chances, make some.
3. Teach him to read as soon as he can hold a book.

I’ve got none of my own that I’m legally responsible for, but according to my brother-in-law you should rub whiskey on their gums to help with teething. Also, he said that babies actually start teething when they come home from the hospital.

I’m all full of admiration, respect, and sympathy for those out there who bear the burden. I’ve seen the picture. I think Red and Black would look great on the young ’un.

9 lb 14 OZ is a big ole baby. LInebacker size, at least.

I’ve got two, both still in diapers, wooo!! If you haven’t already, upgrade to the Executive Membership at Costco. That will pay for itself, quick. Diaper Champ > Diaper Genie (if you’re doing cloth because you want to save the world, check yourself into a mental hospital). Get takeout menus for every restaurant within 5 miles, and get used to eating out at 5 pm. Start em on a bed time routine, now.

Best of luck, and ENJOY!

Congrats my good man. Now get that youngun’ an eye patch and a poster of Shellenberger! Cant start them too soon these days.

I offer no advice, merely observations after two little girls in three years:

1. I once thought bodily discharge came in three forms: gas, liquid, solid. I’m now aware that it’s something of a continuum, with an inverted mess to formality quotient. To wit: the more dressy the occasion, the bigger/louder/more aromatic the discharge and any attendant aftereffects.

2. I have thought, at least once per day for the past three + years, “Why the hell did we think this was a good idea?”

3. I have also thought, at least once per day for the past three years, “I would gladly throw myself in front of a moving train/bus/Ndamukong Suh to keep my little ones from being hurt.”

4. There is no greater joy than hearing “I love you, Daddy” for the first time. But “Go Huskers/[INSERT TEAM NAME HERE]!” came in a close second.

Prayers and blessings on the happy family.

Though I’m not sure why you felt the duplicatory need: as if one of you isn’t more than sufficient for the plant?

You can’t get any more tired that you will be after 6 weeks, and if I’ve learned anything it’s that they can confound you no matter what you try and do with them. As for the rest: hugs, boundaries, and routine calorie infusions… presumably what TCOAN has been doing with Swindle for years anyway.

Like the ’ol Ball Coach would recommend you do next:

Now that you and TCOAN have scored once…..
….get ready and go for TWO!!!!!!

Congrats, and “Best wishes and caviar dreams”, like the loudmouth on TV used to say…

to fatherhood, you SOB.

I have three, and all I can say is thank God they have their mother. I’ve tried selling them several times over the years, and so far no one has taken me up on it. The key is timing. Don’t do it after they’ve just met some milestone (i.e., walking, talking, driving, first beer) unless it’s something really expensive, i.e., just taken a golf ball and smashed little crystal figurines into a bazillion pieces. Then that’s your time.

I kid, I kid. There is no good time because you’re fucked. Kids will always be angels to their mothers, while you are now a bigger bastard than you were before.

Congrats!

Here’s to your collective health. Maybe Tebow will do the honors, if he’s not too busy at a CFL combine. . .

As a father of three, welcome to the club.

I look forward to watching young Magnus on World’s Strongest Man in about 20 years. That is what all men named Magnus do, right?

A little under the 23 lbs projection, but we’re sure he’ll merit four stars anyway. ;)

Congrats to you and the family.

and 18 years and 6 months, Magnus shall go against his fathers wishes, and become an LSU Tiger.

I imagine the birth went down similar to this, or at least it should have.

Welcome to the world of “letting momma sleep in” and rotating shifts of “hey its your turn to______________”(feed,change,rock,soothe) in 2 hr increments til ya hit that baby groove of when they sleep all night. I have 3 kids, a 5 yr old and a 2 and a 1 year old……and yes the 2 and the one year old like to occasionally, for no good reason, wake up at 2 am or so and wake the entire house….White noise machines or noise makers help to drown out the tv if you are trying to watch anything at all….Baby monitors with video helps to calm your nerves so you can sleep/wake up at a moments notice at any weird sounds instantly….and it never fails, if you try to sneak into the babys room to retrieve anything….your joints will crack or creak just loud enough to wake him up so you get to spend another 45mins putting him down…I remember this tidbit I wish someone would have shared with me….many times at the hospital, the baby is UP ALL NIGHT IN THE NURSERY….so when you get home, guess what? Dead dog tired mom and dad get to spend the better part of 3 days trying to get the day/night thing on track….So when he is sleeping these next few days during the daytime, wake his ass up…..That was our first and most tiresome mistake..and if the in-laws offer to stay the night to “help out” by all means, take ’em up on it…the first one we didnt( my wife wanted to play the tough and strong rookie mom-we-dont-need-any-help) and we paid the price…(6 hrs of sleep over 3 days)..the next two we had both grandmas gladly over til momma had recovered…and ROLL TIDE ROLL WOOOOOOOO!!!!!

I’ve been a dad for 12 years and I’ve learned nothing. This is the stuff I can guess at:

1) Just be yourself; the little un(s) will know your secrets soon anyway.

2) Unless you sleep in the nude. Rugrats are grabby, if you get my hint.

3) Treat new mom as well as you would your mom. If momma ain’t happy, ain’t no one happy.

4) You will start turning into Red from “That 70s Show” in 3…2…1…