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THE CURIOUS INDEX, 2/22/2010

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HAIL THE DARK PASSENGER! Fearless Leader Swindle has an announcement of some import:

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What does this mean for you? First, that you're in the supple hands of Holly and Doug this week; tips happily accepted at wolfbearclownshark-at-gmail and heyjennyslater.blog-at-gmail, respectively.

Second, that it's time to fill that comment thread with scads of well-meaning/overbearing advice for the new parents. Have at it. And on to business, after the jump:

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AIR RAID OFFENSE, TIME OF DEATH, 12:14 A.M. First Tommy Tuberville said he was going to dial back Texas Tech's formidable passing game to protect the quarterback. Now Tuberville's offensive coordinator, Neal Brown, is described as indicating that "next year's Red Raiders might need to know as few as a dozen plays - three or four runs and six to eight pass routes." This, of course, is Tubervillese for "Punting is winning," and a sign that Brandon Cox and Daniel Cobb are just weeks away from being hired as co-QB coaches in Lubbock.

"CHARACTER, SOUND JUDGMENT, WHATEVER. CLICK-CLACK." Parents across the South Carolina upstate will soon have a chance to see their kids' impressionable young minds molded by one of college football's legends now that South Carolina head coach Steve Spurrier has joined the "Coaches 4 Character" team. Presumably the Ol' Ballcoach will be stressing the finer points of good sportsmanship, like continuing to launch long bombs when you're already up by four TDs so that the other team doesn't think you're taking it easy on them, and offering relevant life-planning advice like not wasting valuable QB-development time on boring stuff like grooming a running game or an offensive line or anything pointless like that.

ATHLETES ON FACEBOOK, BROUGHT TO YOU AS ALWAYS BY BAD IDEA JEANS, LTD.  Oregon WR Jamere Holland has some thoughts about the disciplining of teammate Kiko Alonso, arrested over the weekend for drankin' and operatin'. Chip Kelly has some thoughts about Jamere Holland. You can guess how well this ends, and a Fulmer Cup tally is forthcoming, but in the meantime enjoy this student reaction shot:

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(There's an accompanying video, but that screencap really sums it up beautifully.)

HE'S ALSO A BIG FAN OF THE SCHOOL FIGHT SONG, "GLORY, GLORY TO OLD GEORGIA TECH." Paul A. Norman of the "Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets Examiner" is pretty confident that Paul Johnson is sticking around at Tech for the long haul. Among the many reasons he gives? Apparently one of Johnson's catch phrases is "Finish the drill." Whatever bad blood may exist between the GT and UGA programs, we think that's the kind of originality and work ethic that even Bulldog fans can applaud.

DAVID CUTCLIFFE IS BUILDING AN ARMY. ONE THAT CAN MOVE IN SUNLIGHT, AND TRAVEL GREAT DISTANCE AT SPEED. Arizona State's recruiting coordinator is decamping for Duke. We care because he's the guy who brought Vontaze Burfict to Tempe, and thereby plays a part in this hit having come to pass:

 

WHAT'S THE SOUND OF THE SMALLEST VIOLIN PLAYING THE SADDEST SONG IN AN EMPTY STADIUM? "Jeff Brinson's rushing total at Iowa will forever read one attempt for seven yards." 

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Congrats, Papa Swindle!

and to you too, TCOAN! The sleepless nights and endless diapers will be done soon enough, but the memories will be forever. Enjoy!

by IndianaLion on Feb 22, 2010 9:07 AM EST reply actions  

I'm in my mid-20's, so I don't know jack about parenting,

but I do know that corny baby t-shirts are the best way to clothe a growing babe.

Kaboom, automatically the coolest kid in the daycare.

For the record, I looked for baby shirts that said “LIVE TO WIN.” They don’t exist, yet. This will be my million-dollar idea.

by The Ghost of Jay Cutler on Feb 22, 2010 9:12 AM EST reply actions  

if anything should ever go wrong

blame Canada

example -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7UKllR0Edo

January 7th, 2010: the day I went from being a delusional obnoxious Alabama fan to being an obnoxious Alabama fan

by Wallacewade04 on Feb 22, 2010 9:17 AM EST reply actions  

Mid-20's

I too am in my mid-20’s so I’m kidless. However due to my rabid television infatuation I have learned a lot of what I can only assume to be sound, quality parenting advice:

Kids live life 30 minutes at a time and even though they have a major conflict in the first ten minutes they will spend the next 17 minutes working through it in comedic fashion until in the final 3 they realize they need your help and everything ends well and you have pizza in front of the TV and hug.

Sitcoms are real life right?

Yeah BoYeeEEeeE

by InTheBleachers on Feb 22, 2010 9:23 AM EST via mobile reply actions  

Congrats to you & TCOAN

In the midst of sleep-deprivedness, no one will think less of you if you plop baby Warhammer in her baby carrier on top of the running dryer to make her go to sleep. Trust me.

/end overbearing parenting advice

by A Bullet from Burger on Feb 22, 2010 9:24 AM EST reply actions  

congrats!

best to ya’ll and Lil Swin! pisces UP!

...and we shall eat only the red skittles...

by thetennesseethumper on Feb 22, 2010 9:26 AM EST reply actions  

Little Silver Britches #1 is 8 months old

and it’s awesome, but damn. I was up at 4:45 this morning. I’ve learned some stuff:

1. You won’t give a second thought to boogers, saliva, or poop after about a week.
2. Soon every shirt you own will look like you live under a condor nest.
3. There is nothing cooler.

by Silver Britches on Feb 22, 2010 9:27 AM EST reply actions  

I guess you've got about 18 months

to train yourself not to use profanity around the child. I think it was about that time that my little wartiger uttered “Ah shit” in perfect context. There was no question where he learned that.
Congratulations, and brace yourself…

by cowcollege on Feb 22, 2010 9:29 AM EST reply actions  

Congrats, Sir

Nine pounds…I’m sure Urban will be arriving after those first steps to see how he runs the quarterback dive.

by Billy Gomila on Feb 22, 2010 9:30 AM EST reply actions  

When laying in bed not wanting to get up.. and wife hands child to you after she just “fed” it… don’t hold child like airplane over your face.. lest you want 98.6 degrees of curdled nasty in your pie hole..

by bambakophobia on Feb 22, 2010 9:30 AM EST reply actions  

Congrats all around.

Limit one digital bourbon-soaked seegar, please. Okay, two for Holly because I pity her in a Derek-Dooley-is-your-coach-following-Lane-Kiffin kind of way.

I presume young M.W. has been screened for diabeetus.

by Counter Trap on Feb 22, 2010 9:31 AM EST reply actions  

I'm still trying to figure out what the hell Cleveland has to do with Georgia Tech blogging?

Congrats and +1/8 cocktails to you (because he’s just like you, only 1/8 your size). You will spend thousands of dollars on all the latest toys, only to have your purchases rebuffed in favor of a Wal-Mart bag and a half-full Dasani bottle.

Mrs. Flyer and I don’t have any kids, but I do get to play uncle. Translated: I get to teach my nephew how to cuss, drive a stick at 13, play blackjack and fly an airplane. And when he starts acting up, well, you can always send him back home.

I'm Irish. I'm going to have to deal with something being wrong the rest of my life.

by boddagettaflyer on Feb 22, 2010 9:32 AM EST reply actions  

Congrats

9 el b’s is damn impressive.

by DanF5 on Feb 22, 2010 9:33 AM EST reply actions  

Congratulations!

I have a couple of pieces of advice . . . ah, who am I kidding?

Go 'Dawgs!

by T Kyle King on Feb 22, 2010 9:34 AM EST reply actions  

The Will point is an excellent one . . .

Orson and I live in roughly the same neighborhood and . . .uh . . . yeah . . .that will advice is probably a good one.

by JacketDan on Feb 22, 2010 11:44 AM EST up reply actions  

Actually...

Coach Johnson is teaching “Mech. Eng 422 – Fundamentals of metal drill press w/lab” this semester where you actually have to finish the drill to pass.

Congrats on the little one. Remember to cover that tally whacker whilst changing diapers (or wear a welder’s mask). Incoming!!!

"If we score, we may win. If they never score, we'll never lose."
-Erk Russell

by DavetheDawg on Feb 22, 2010 9:34 AM EST reply actions  

And...

….the kid is already on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPZCTChe7Qo

Congratulations to the Swindles.

Roll Bama Roll - The Champagne of Bama Blogs.

by Todd on Feb 22, 2010 9:34 AM EST reply actions  

Learning starts at an early age

The moment he can sit upright, prop him up on the coach and have him start COD. If he hits level 70 before he can walk, you know you spawned a good one.

"In case you're wondering what the offense should look like, that wasn't it." - Urban Meyer

by cantcatchuf on Feb 22, 2010 9:45 AM EST reply actions  

congrats

Parenting is fabulous fun, and you’ll soon find yourself doing things you never thought you would do, like trying to catch your kid’s hurl before it hits the carpet.

HeadThief

by HeadThief on Feb 22, 2010 9:48 AM EST reply actions  

Terrific

Congrats to everyone involved in the birth of William Tecumseh Sherman Swindle-Smasher of the Army of Tennessee, Raper of Georgia.

"I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."-George Bernard Shaw

by Cubehead on Feb 22, 2010 9:49 AM EST reply actions  

Burned Columbia, SC to the ground as well. Not that UF needs much help in that area.

by Dat Boy on Feb 22, 2010 4:34 PM EST up reply actions  

Way to go Spencer/Orson and TCOAN

Congrats on your bundle of joy. I thought the name Magnus was better than Spurrier Urban Swindle. Will he be eligible for Fulmer Cup points as he gets into trouble around the house and needs a timeout?

by Crabapple Buck on Feb 22, 2010 9:56 AM EST reply actions  

Sencer’s going to run a Fulmer cup during summer vacation tracking all the kids in his son’s classes. Proud parents beware!

Go Bulls!

by Leavitt Town on Feb 22, 2010 10:00 AM EST up reply actions  

Congrats, Orson.

I just had my first in December. Fun times to be had. Congrats Orson and female unit who bore the swindle child.

Go Bulls!

by Leavitt Town on Feb 22, 2010 9:58 AM EST reply actions  

Perferablly obtain the Turfmans scotch flavored chew. We here in the upstate know it has mythical healing powers and we’re proud to share it with baby Magnus Warhammer Tebow Spurrier Swindle of America.

Don't give up, don't ever give up ~ Jim Valvano

by AParker on Feb 22, 2010 11:48 AM EST up reply actions  

Congratulations

Don’t be to quiet around the baby. He is going to sleep when he is going to sleep anyway. If he gets used to a certain amount of noise he’ll be able to sleep through it later.

oc phil

by oc phil on Feb 22, 2010 10:15 AM EST reply actions   1 recs

Congratulations!

I think every child should get one.

by blanx73 on Feb 22, 2010 10:22 AM EST reply actions  

Congratulations to the Swindles

Expect a scholarship offer from Coach Kiffin any day now.

In all seriousness, right now you’re probably thinking Harvard Law, the second coming of Tebow, etc. Know now that if Baby Swindle hits 21 and hasn’t ended up in prison, rehab, or getting a gal knocked up, you’ve done good. Teach ’em how to love…best lesson you can give.

Yes, I live in Starkville...WHO did I piss off in a past life?

by Queen Hoka-Hotty-Toddy on Feb 22, 2010 10:29 AM EST reply actions  

My One Piece of Advice

is to teach him to be just like vontaze burfict. in every way.

you can be the proud parents of your very own screaming hellbeast. best wishes.

by ramblingamblinjohn on Feb 22, 2010 10:30 AM EST reply actions  

Congrats and Best Wishes

no little ones of my own but did grow up with dad reading the sports page as a good night story and watching recordings of old boxing matches instead of Seasme Street and I turned out just fine, according to most.

Additionally, bravo on the excellent timing of the birth – after football season but before March Madness.

by Wes Tex on Feb 22, 2010 10:31 AM EST reply actions  

Actually poor timing

Unless the kid is sleeping nights there will be no March Madness, sleep will run in place of the regularly scheduled program. Somewhere during the NBA playoffs is a great place to have a little bundle-of-joy. Yes, I know it covers eight months.

It's not what you've done but what you are doing that matters.

by AlabamaJammer on Feb 22, 2010 11:47 AM EST up reply actions  

Congrats to you Orson and TCOAN!

Lil Beav showed up about a year ago, and it’s been … interesting. It’s Kind of sad that the no TV around baby rule was the biggest life style change for me, but there you go.

by BennyBeav on Feb 22, 2010 10:36 AM EST reply actions  

Congrats Orson......

…..remember that WalMart has a 30 day refund policy, so you got a month to decide whether to keep the little rugrat

by Spartan D on Feb 22, 2010 10:40 AM EST reply actions  

1000 congrats and one lament

It is a wild wonderful ride. Glad to hear everybody is healthy and happy. You know deep down you want him cooking Jambalaya by the Indian Mounds on October Saturdays.

Here’s my advice, and this is the only thing I am sure of from my six months of parenting experience – I would stay in the hospital as long as you can and get the nursery to keep him as much as they will because you are literally getting the last sleep you will get for years in the next two nights or so. And be sure to steal as much hospital grade baby equipment as you can, particularly the booger bulb. I’d throw in some smelling salts for when your wife comes home with a BOB.

As for the lament, while you will actually tear up the first time he really gives you a big smile (I’m talking overcome with weird things called emotions), shed one sad tear today – those pregnancy boobs that you couldn’t stop reaching for have now become nursing boobs. you little one holds fee simple absolute and he ain’t sharing.

by haveagreatday on Feb 22, 2010 10:44 AM EST reply actions  

nice timing, as i’m currently 23 minutes into a property class on future estates. o conveys whiteacre to x & his heirs for the use of A & his heirs, but if A inherits blackacre then to B & his heirs

viva la cestui que use, feofee to uses, etc. and congrats to senior. swindle.

by Old South on Feb 22, 2010 1:24 PM EST up reply actions  

Congrats to Papa Swindle!

I suggest Chainsaw as his Confirmation name. Or LaChainsaw, if you foresee him going to Oregon.

Just think how much fun father & son will have at the 2031 Ultra-BCS Championship Game, brought to you by Yaz. You’ll get to see a fantastic contest in Jerry Jone’s Orbital Football Palace between the University of Mars and 2-loss Ohio State.

Brian Kelly says no Burger King at 3 AM.

by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 22, 2010 11:04 AM EST reply actions  

Congrats

Randy Hahn: "I’ve been referred to as a playa…"

by 49er16 on Feb 22, 2010 11:06 AM EST reply actions  

Congrats

Although you only get 50 cocktails for not naming the little shaver Barkevious Mingo.

by ChiefMiami on Feb 22, 2010 11:08 AM EST reply actions  

Well done, good sir.

The U of O: Where idle hands are the devil's workshop.

by ProbablyMonty on Feb 22, 2010 11:10 AM EST reply actions  

Who dat is?

That’s just my baby daddy!

by chaimy4life on Feb 22, 2010 11:17 AM EST reply actions  

Congrats...

Mine is 10 now, and you’ll be amazed by how fast those years will fly by.

by CKGator on Feb 22, 2010 11:19 AM EST reply actions  

congrats

The EDSBS Heir Apparent shares my birthday.

Also, dude… nearly 10 pounds? Is Mt. Cody the father?

by softbatch on Feb 22, 2010 11:19 AM EST reply actions  

Magnus Warhammer?

While nobody can doubt the manfulness of such a moniker, and no doubt he’ll be raised on Turfman’s Scotch-flavored Baby Formula and Turfman’s Hardtack Teething Rings, I was expecting something more like Tebow Ballcoach E.Smiff Swindle.

by Tracer Bullet on Feb 22, 2010 11:24 AM EST reply actions  

Congratulations, sir!

If you are the infant baptizing type, do try to schedule thing thing before your child learns to talk. We didn’t, and the little guy took one look into the baptismal font and asked the minister (loudly enough to be picked up on the microphone), “Where are the fish?”

by DevilGrad on Feb 22, 2010 11:33 AM EST reply actions  

If you are the infant baptizing type, do try to schedule THE thing before your child learns to talk. We didn’t, and the little guy took one look into the baptismal font and asked the minister (loudly enough to be picked up on the microphone), "Where are the fish?"

by DevilGrad on Feb 22, 2010 11:34 AM EST up reply actions  

Congratulations!

I know the birth of my son was the happiest day of my life, and Mrs. MtnEer doesn’t even get on me for saying that.

And now for the parenting advise (and I am serious about this)
1. Keep him long on hugs and short on pocket change.
2. Read to him every chance you get. If you do not get enough chances, make some.
3. Teach him to read as soon as he can hold a book.

"I like the taste of danger most of all." - Jonatha Brooke

by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 22, 2010 11:49 AM EST reply actions  

Parenting Advice? Ok.

I’ve got none of my own that I’m legally responsible for, but according to my brother-in-law you should rub whiskey on their gums to help with teething. Also, he said that babies actually start teething when they come home from the hospital.

Everyone fails. The successful learn from their failures. I just wish we'd quit giving ourselves so many learning opportunities.

by WhiteSpeedReceiver on Feb 22, 2010 11:50 AM EST reply actions  

I'm not the procreatin' type, but ...

I’m all full of admiration, respect, and sympathy for those out there who bear the burden. I’ve seen the picture. I think Red and Black would look great on the young ’un.

by NCT on Feb 22, 2010 11:57 AM EST reply actions  

be sure to read this

http://www.amazon.com/Fifty-Dangerous-Things-Should-Children/dp/0984296107

and then create your own version of it. They’re your got daymub kids, and you get to fill them with all the danger and love that you want.

Best to O/S, TCOAN and MW.

by vegas_buckeye on Feb 22, 2010 12:06 PM EST reply actions  

Congrats!

I’ve got two, both still in diapers, wooo!! If you haven’t already, upgrade to the Executive Membership at Costco. That will pay for itself, quick. Diaper Champ > Diaper Genie (if you’re doing cloth because you want to save the world, check yourself into a mental hospital). Get takeout menus for every restaurant within 5 miles, and get used to eating out at 5 pm. Start em on a bed time routine, now.

Best of luck, and ENJOY!

by ESS EEE SEE Speed on Feb 22, 2010 12:10 PM EST reply actions  

Here here brother Swindle!

Congrats my good man. Now get that youngun’ an eye patch and a poster of Shellenberger! Cant start them too soon these days.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy!
- Ben Franklin, skirt chaser par excellence

by Charlie Weis's Colon on Feb 22, 2010 12:13 PM EST reply actions  

Mazel Tov!

I offer no advice, merely observations after two little girls in three years:

1. I once thought bodily discharge came in three forms: gas, liquid, solid. I’m now aware that it’s something of a continuum, with an inverted mess to formality quotient. To wit: the more dressy the occasion, the bigger/louder/more aromatic the discharge and any attendant aftereffects.

2. I have thought, at least once per day for the past three + years, “Why the hell did we think this was a good idea?”

3. I have also thought, at least once per day for the past three years, “I would gladly throw myself in front of a moving train/bus/Ndamukong Suh to keep my little ones from being hurt.”

4. There is no greater joy than hearing “I love you, Daddy” for the first time. But “Go Huskers/[INSERT TEAM NAME HERE]!” came in a close second.

Prayers and blessings on the happy family.

"...when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to."
— Martin Luther

by Go Big Rev on Feb 22, 2010 12:32 PM EST reply actions  

Congrats, ass hat!

Though I’m not sure why you felt the duplicatory need: as if one of you isn’t more than sufficient for the plant?

On Iowa

by keosahawkeye on Feb 22, 2010 12:54 PM EST reply actions  

Dang, that Turfman's Pregnancy Supplement sure does work

That’s one hoss-size baby, there.

Oh, and Dougles, y’all didn’t invent “Finish the drill” any more than you invented the tune to your fight song. Every coach has used that phrase forever. Richt just put it on a T-shirt.

Here’s a cite from 1908, talking about, well, drill:
http://news.google.com/newspapers?id=fvUgAAAAIBAJ&sjid=t3QFAAAAIBAJ&pg=6754,4509257&dq=finish+the+drill+history&hl=en

1930: boat racing
http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.html?res=F40B16FC3F5C157A93C1A8178ED85F448385F9

1933: Boxing
http://www.google.com/search?q=%22finish+the+drill%22+history&hl=en&safe=off&client=firefox-a&hs=G2c&sa=X&tbo=p&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&tbs=tl:1,tll:1933/01,tlh:1933/12&ei=qMSCS8TYK5OylAfzw82wBw&oi=timeline_histogram_main&ct=timeline-histogram&cd=4&ved=0CFcQyQEoBA

1976: Girl’s volleyball
http://www.google.com/search?q=%22finish+the+drill%22+history&hl=en&safe=off&client=firefox-a&hs=Y3c&sa=X&tbo=p&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&tbs=tl:1,tll:1976/01,tlh:1976/12&ei=-MSCS9OhGIXclAfc8e35Bg&oi=timeline_histogram_main&ct=timeline-histogram&cd=7&ved=0CF8QyQEoBw

by Golden Hand on Feb 22, 2010 12:56 PM EST reply actions  

Nice.

No one suggested Richt invented “finish the drill”. But it’s damn funny when a phrase relied on so heavily by Richt and his teams (and recited countless times by us fans) is described as one of Johnson’s catchphrases. What’s next? Groh telling his players to get at their ass? But if, over on the Flats, “finish the drill” means three consecutive incomplete passes, I’m all for it.

by NCT on Feb 22, 2010 1:54 PM EST up reply actions  

Congratulations

You can’t get any more tired that you will be after 6 weeks, and if I’ve learned anything it’s that they can confound you no matter what you try and do with them. As for the rest: hugs, boundaries, and routine calorie infusions… presumably what TCOAN has been doing with Swindle for years anyway.

by DC Trojan on Feb 22, 2010 1:04 PM EST reply actions  

Re: Cutcliffe

BUILD ME AN ARMY WORTHY OF TAMPA.

Brian Kelly says no Burger King at 3 AM.

by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 22, 2010 1:17 PM EST reply actions  

Warhammer Time - or - Deuces Are Really Wild Depts:

Like the ’ol Ball Coach would recommend you do next:

Now that you and TCOAN have scored once…..
….get ready and go for TWO!!!!!!

Congrats, and “Best wishes and caviar dreams”, like the loudmouth on TV used to say…

by SKLM on Feb 22, 2010 1:48 PM EST reply actions  

welcome

to fatherhood, you SOB.

I have three, and all I can say is thank God they have their mother. I’ve tried selling them several times over the years, and so far no one has taken me up on it. The key is timing. Don’t do it after they’ve just met some milestone (i.e., walking, talking, driving, first beer) unless it’s something really expensive, i.e., just taken a golf ball and smashed little crystal figurines into a bazillion pieces. Then that’s your time.

I kid, I kid. There is no good time because you’re fucked. Kids will always be angels to their mothers, while you are now a bigger bastard than you were before.

Congrats!

Go Big Red Nebraska!
Our Cobs Are Bigger Than Yours!
Corn Nation!
Twitter!
cornnation@gmail.com

by Jon Johnston on Feb 22, 2010 1:55 PM EST reply actions  

Within 30 minutes of the tiny one's arrival

I was on the phone with Poppa Swindle. I made the first fat-baby crack. I’ve already assumed the role of “that asshole uncle of yours”.

by That 5.0 Guy on Feb 22, 2010 2:07 PM EST reply actions  

The best part

about being an Uncle is you get to wind them up and then give them back to their parents. Also under no circumstances should you agree to babysit until said child is able to walk, talk and use the facilities independently.

BdoubleEdoubleRUN Beer Run!! - Todd Snider

by General Disarray on Feb 22, 2010 7:25 PM EST up reply actions  

Oh, Believe Me,

I already had planned on that.

by That 5.0 Guy on Feb 23, 2010 8:50 AM EST up reply actions  

Congrats!

Here’s to your collective health. Maybe Tebow will do the honors, if he’s not too busy at a CFL combine. . .

"Heaven love's ya. . ." - David Bowie

by Pirategeorge on Feb 22, 2010 2:08 PM EST reply actions  

Congrats O and TCOAN!

As a father of three, welcome to the club.

by Alex P in Smyrna G on Feb 22, 2010 3:25 PM EST reply actions  

Congratulations.

I look forward to watching young Magnus on World’s Strongest Man in about 20 years. That is what all men named Magnus do, right?

"I want to be a cowboy. I don't want to be a panda. Pandas are boring, stupid and boring. Bad panda!"

by RossWB on Feb 22, 2010 3:46 PM EST reply actions  

After reading all the manuals...

and getting every possible piece of advice, I have come to an inescapable conclusion over my past 8 months of fatherhood: everyone is different, including your spawn. You need to try to listen to him even though he can’t talk. He will not follow any rule in any book. He may sleep every other hour, for an hour, for the next 6 weeks. Or he might sleep 13 straight hours. He may be starving one day, and refuse all sustinance the next. You just have to try interpret his signals. No manual can teach you that.

So basically, you are playing it by ear. Keep those ears open. He’ll show you the way.

FYI—My son is the best thing ever. No question. You will soon realize same. Deepest congrats to you and yours.

Go Owls. Beat Nova.

by A Mike on Feb 22, 2010 3:52 PM EST reply actions  

Congrats O

A little under the 23 lbs projection, but we’re sure he’ll merit four stars anyway. ;)

Congrats to you and the family.

Maize n Brew
Because Football is Better with Beer

by Maize n Brew Dave on Feb 22, 2010 4:04 PM EST reply actions  

100 Cocktails to you ... when Magnus sleeps through the night

The start point of the why in the f@^%#%^* is he crying checklist with rationale:

1. Wet or Soiled Diaper— Change It…imagine what it must feel like to be forced to sleep in it.
2. Sleepy— He can’t say: “F this, I’m beat….yet”
3. Hungry— unable to hit fridge at will, much less crack open a cold one.

Those three are the root of many of the crying issues…unless your kid is freaked out by characters and gets cornered by Chuck E. Cheese at a birthday party.

by Landshark25 on Feb 22, 2010 5:23 PM EST reply actions  

To be fair,

I would cry if Mr. Cheese got that close myself.

________________________________
I will give my shirt for Tennessee today.

by Holly Anderson on Feb 22, 2010 5:27 PM EST up reply actions  

Goodbye to EDSBS!

NOOOOOOOOO!!!

A moment of silence is in order. It’s all downhill from here. Goodbye to EDSBS as we know it. The birth of a child, and the death of Orson Swindle!

It’s hard to be f@(&in’ funny when all you can think about is “I wish I could get a decent nights sleep!” Orson, unfortunately you are now a father (no longer a man). I wish I got to you before you made the same mistake I made. Sons are awesome, but wives/girlfriends turn into the succubus. Low maintenance has now become high maintenance. Your sense of humor is about to die.

All good things come to an end. I will remember you fondly.

by JustSayNo on Feb 22, 2010 7:07 PM EST reply actions  

CONGRATS!!!!!!!!

and 18 years and 6 months, Magnus shall go against his fathers wishes, and become an LSU Tiger.

by Kevin@LSU 2.0 on Feb 22, 2010 7:38 PM EST reply actions  

Congrats! When the baby sleeps-You sleep.PERIOD.(Dr.Brown Bottles rocks-the Nike of anti gas baby bottles)

Welcome to the world of “letting momma sleep in” and rotating shifts of “hey its your turn to______________”(feed,change,rock,soothe) in 2 hr increments til ya hit that baby groove of when they sleep all night. I have 3 kids, a 5 yr old and a 2 and a 1 year old……and yes the 2 and the one year old like to occasionally, for no good reason, wake up at 2 am or so and wake the entire house….White noise machines or noise makers help to drown out the tv if you are trying to watch anything at all….Baby monitors with video helps to calm your nerves so you can sleep/wake up at a moments notice at any weird sounds instantly….and it never fails, if you try to sneak into the babys room to retrieve anything….your joints will crack or creak just loud enough to wake him up so you get to spend another 45mins putting him down…I remember this tidbit I wish someone would have shared with me….many times at the hospital, the baby is UP ALL NIGHT IN THE NURSERY….so when you get home, guess what? Dead dog tired mom and dad get to spend the better part of 3 days trying to get the day/night thing on track….So when he is sleeping these next few days during the daytime, wake his ass up…..That was our first and most tiresome mistake..and if the in-laws offer to stay the night to “help out” by all means, take ’em up on it…the first one we didnt( my wife wanted to play the tough and strong rookie mom-we-dont-need-any-help) and we paid the price…(6 hrs of sleep over 3 days)..the next two we had both grandmas gladly over til momma had recovered…and ROLL TIDE ROLL WOOOOOOOO!!!!!

by mrpelicanpants on Feb 22, 2010 9:59 PM EST reply actions  

Congrats

I’ve been a dad for 12 years and I’ve learned nothing. This is the stuff I can guess at:

1) Just be yourself; the little un(s) will know your secrets soon anyway.

2) Unless you sleep in the nude. Rugrats are grabby, if you get my hint.

3) Treat new mom as well as you would your mom. If momma ain’t happy, ain’t no one happy.

4) You will start turning into Red from “That 70s Show” in 3…2…1…

Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.

by Blackheartnopants on Feb 22, 2010 10:52 PM EST reply actions  

Congrats, Orson!

You know the cliche “it goes so fast?” Well… It. Goes. So. Fast.

So cherish the moments, and all that.

Heartiest congrats to you and TCOAN!

by Papa Lou BSU on Feb 23, 2010 10:50 PM EST reply actions  

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