VIRGINIA TECH AND BOISE TO OPEN SEPTEMBER 6TH IN POTTERSVILLE STADIUM
by Spencer Hall on Feb 2, 2010 3:31 PM EST
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PrintVirginia Tech and Boise State will officially begin the 2010 season at FedEx Field, aka the Pottersville of football stadiums where the oxygen isn't free, people come to get drunk and drunk fast, mister, and there's no such thing as a critical sign not worth confiscating. If Virginia Tech fans with overlapping allegiances are in attendance, signs suggesting that Dan Snyder molests baby pandas will be mandatory. By the way, the running water will be turned off for the game, and bottles will be available for purchase for forty-five dollars at concession stands for personal use along with FedEx fan favorites like popcorn, potato chips, and blocks of Snyder's Snack Salt. . No re-entry during the game will be allowed, and no beverages or food may be brought in by guests.
The matchup is peerless: Boise again has to take five planes to get across the country, three for the team and staff and one for each huge testicle, and Virginia Tech continues its tradition of getting the season off to a bracing start by taking a non-confernece weasel (Alabama last year,) dropping it in its pants, and then cinching the belt tight and standing stoically without complaint to test their mettle. Frank Beamer's ferret-legging isnt' entirely brave--after all, at FedEx Field, they are all but guaranteed a home crowd barring some kind of insane airlift involving the Idaho Air National Guard and twenty thousand Idahoans.
It is nice, though, to see two teams committed to getting the season off to a one hundred percent ballsy start. Hey, Florida opens with Miami this year, so we're improving!* Thanks, Jeremy Foley!
(*"of Ohio")
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We don't grown potatoes in Iowa...
It’s corn, thank you very much.
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
Orson, I’d bring up some antique Tangerine Bowl results (Miami beat UF in a bowl game held at the Swamp in 1973), but watching the Cradle of Coaches post a 3-21 over the last two seasons has taken the piss and vinegar right out of me.
The Charlie Weis coaching tree
just keeps on giving. Like kudzu vines.
Screen pass. Screen pass. Draw play! Wobbly pass to a fade route triple coverage oh Jesus incomplete turnover on downs.
Brian Kelly says no Burger King at 3 AM.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 2, 2010 4:08 PM EST up reply actions
I’m really hoping this is the year we fart on the weasel, shake it out through our pants leg and crush its throat.
Alcohol is my anti-drug. CollegeGameBalls.com
by collegegameballs on Feb 2, 2010 4:04 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
Impossible
No Paterno would be caught dead (hur hur) in a meaningful non-conference game.
Brian Kelly says no Burger King at 3 AM.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 2, 2010 5:15 PM EST up reply actions
PSU finally steps up and plays Alabama next year in Tuscaloosa
by Crabapple Buck on Feb 2, 2010 5:26 PM EST up reply actions
yep...
and the year after that in Happy Valley
by Queen of the Universe on Feb 2, 2010 7:56 PM EST up reply actions
I know, right?
I was shocked, shocked to read the bottom description that said otherwise. Ever seen Paterno II and Snyder in same room? I think not. Furthermore, I think that if you put sun glasses on Terry Bowden he would be an exeptional choice upon JoePa’s retirement. The ball’s in your court Penn St.
by JoeinSavannah on Feb 2, 2010 7:29 PM EST up reply actions
Not played on blue turf?
Ok, I’ll watch.
by ESS EEE SEE Speed on Feb 2, 2010 4:13 PM EST reply actions
Awww, you don't want to see the smurf turf?
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Feb 2, 2010 4:20 PM EST up reply actions
Even when their highlights are shown on the WWL, I flip the channel. It’s like I can’t find the remote fast enough. Sort of like when I accidentally arrive on a channel showing women’s basketball.
by ESS EEE SEE Speed on Feb 2, 2010 4:24 PM EST up reply actions
OBNUGer's would like a word with you.
They think their smurf turf is the greatest thing next to Chris Petersen.
"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me
by BStylin Hawkye on Feb 2, 2010 4:33 PM EST up reply actions
The irresistible force (Kellen Moore’s arm) vs. the immovable object (Frank Beamer defense and a running game masking Bryan Stinespring’s complete lack of offensive creativity).
Both programs are to be commended for agreeing to a non-conference match-up that won’t suck.
"'I wish to hell God would stop trying to make me a better person." - T.J. Lambert
Ahh the Blue Boys are trying to emulate...
…the kickoff to a BCSCG run by beating up on the Turkeys. If you are lucky enough to get there, BSU, see ya in Glendale.
Auburn and Tennessee fans are a lot like Slinkys...neither are worth much but you do get a sense of satisfaction from pushing them down a flight of stairs
You are already planning on a Bama repeat?
I didn’t realize a Tuscaloosa Wal-Mart Customer Satisfaction poll is replacing the computers in the BCS Formula. If that’s the case, it’s gonna be:
Bammer Sweatpants versus a Mountain Lightning Two Liter.
Of course...
…isn’t that what the off season is all about. We all think we are winning the next crystal football. FWIW, it will be in Sam’s Club next year…we are moving up in class.
Auburn and Tennessee fans are a lot like Slinkys...neither are worth much but you do get a sense of satisfaction from pushing them down a flight of stairs
it IS a wonderful life
keep working for those wings, OrSpen SwinHall.
...and we shall eat only the red skittles...
by thetennesseethumper on Feb 3, 2010 8:38 AM EST reply actions
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