BLAH BLAH BUT DOES OPRAH FORGIVE HIM

Ding Ding Ding

Winnar. More people need to practice elitist cynicism, in my most excellent and unassailable opinion.

I wish the Public Apology™ would just go away forever. If you’re going down in scandal, sack up and go down in flames of defiant glory.

Brian Kelly says no Burger King at 3 AM.

by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 19, 2010 2:06 PM EST reply actions 3 recs

Agree 110%. I wish he would of just kept his asshole, cheating persona. It would have been real and quite interesting to watch him win golf tourneys with 5 or 6 mistresses following him around the course.
Not that I condone cheating.

"The tradition argument is what has-been's use when they've got nothing left currently to brag about. You can drag out all the numbers you want. Those banners in your stadium don't pass, catch or play defense."
-RIP FSU Football

by krempmasterflash on Feb 19, 2010 2:19 PM EST up reply actions

Yes, Yes and Hell Yes.

Switch red for black. Get an eye patch. Knock out a few teeth. Take on a wrestling heel persona. Be seen stumbling from clubs with chest-inflated starlets. Play a round with one hand behind your back. Damage control is for the weak.

by Jack Fact on Feb 19, 2010 3:41 PM EST up reply actions

Love your Mr. Two Bites Pic by the way

"The tradition argument is what has-been's use when they've got nothing left currently to brag about. You can drag out all the numbers you want. Those banners in your stadium don't pass, catch or play defense."
-RIP FSU Football

by krempmasterflash on Feb 19, 2010 4:43 PM EST up reply actions

Bits** Not Bites

"The tradition argument is what has-been's use when they've got nothing left currently to brag about. You can drag out all the numbers you want. Those banners in your stadium don't pass, catch or play defense."
-RIP FSU Football

by krempmasterflash on Feb 19, 2010 4:43 PM EST up reply actions

Agreed

Tiger enters and takes the microphone

I’m not here to apologize because I didn’t make a mistake. I shot a load. I shot a lot of loads. (smile) Many times. Ha ha ha! See you in Augusta, bitches!

Exit Tiger

www.totteringworld.com

by Bamagrad on Feb 19, 2010 2:34 PM EST up reply actions 7 recs

This

Too bad it actually didn’t happen.

Rec’d

"You don't become a Hawkeye fan, You're born with Black and Gold in your veins." - Me

by BStylin Hawkye on Feb 19, 2010 3:34 PM EST up reply actions

God, I would probably start following golf after that.

Gregatron is not responsible for any of the crap he just wrote.
St. Louis vegetarian blog

by Gregatron on Feb 20, 2010 10:22 AM EST up reply actions

This wasn't necessarily solely for the Tiger's image

It might be a clause in one or more corporate sponsorship contracts so their products won’t suffer a public backlash due to their poster boy’s behavior. Mea Culpas are all fine and good, but there is usually a very mercenary reason for them in a public arena.

Just sayin.

Sullivan013

by sullivan013 on Feb 19, 2010 2:23 PM EST reply actions

Exactly

it’s all for the money mutha fuckaaaas! If his portfolio was soley based on his golfing ability, I truly think he would have said “FUCK THE WORLD BITCHES, I’M THE GREATEST!”

by BigChief on Feb 19, 2010 2:33 PM EST up reply actions

I have rededicated myself to the ideals of golf

And the glories of my wife’s Swedish vagina. That is all.

Hallucinogenic love drugs, sir. The pagans were taking them. We were trying to fit in.

by Cali Dawg on Feb 19, 2010 2:39 PM EST reply actions

Had he been in the NBA, there would have been controversy if he didn’t have a harem. I feel bad for his wife and will push mine down a flight of stairs to comfort poor Elin.

by Crabapple Buck on Feb 20, 2010 5:13 PM EST reply actions