BECAUSE MGMT GOES WELL WITH PATERNO. Because it's Friday, and we're in the mood for a little '98 Citrus Bowl.
Fred Taylor ran the ball 43 times for 234 yards in that game, because Spurrier was just feeling cheeky and wanted to out Big Ten a Big Ten team, and because he was going through deep trust issues with his quarterbacks, something that took years of therapy to overcome before he became open to love and life again with the hot touch of Rex Grossman's hands. The two coaches had a bet that the winner of the game got to make the other wear their signature gear after the game; thus Spurrier immediately slapping a visor on Paterno's head post-game, something Paterno laughs off as soon as he sees it coming. #letsallcuddle
SOMETIMES A SUSPENSION IS MERELY A SUSPENSION DESTROYING REPORTER WITH LASER EYES. Robby Green is suspended due to "a violation of team rules," and that's all Nick Saban is telling you. Now sit still. If you feel a burning sensation, just go with it. Flames? We don't see flames. Requisite comments about Green's role in a defensive backfield that lost seven players this offseason go here.
EMMANUEL MOODY HAS BEEN IN COLLEGE FOOTBALL SINCE 1993. And is this year's candidate for "Player You Didn't Know Was Still In College." Moody, the USC transfer to Florida who is going to bust out any minute now, seriously, any minute now, is now reunited with Stan Drayton, his former coach who says the back has "grown a little hair on his chest." Which he should have now, since he's 32 and should have at least a few settlers sprouting there by now.
HE AND RYAN MALLETT WILL DRINK SMOOTHIES AND SCRAPBOOK. Josh Nesbitt also gets an excuse from the Random Injury Fairy to miss spring practice, undergoing what is described as "minor ankle surgery." If Paul Johnson is calling it "minor ankle surgery," Nesbitt has had his foot amputated, and will have it replaced with a bionic limb in time for Tech's fall practices.
MYRON ROLLE IS AT OXFORD TAKING ASS AND GETTING NAMES. Myron Rolle, Wright Thompson, and Oxford. We'd love to say the idea of a man from Florida State in an ascot would have us ROTFLOAO for a good ten minutes or so, but the motherfucker looks good with the neck-tongue look. Plus, he's winless against Florida, so no hard feelings. If you are in the Oxford dining hall, and are currently a student gawking at the brilliant and musclebound gentleman making the spindly Europeans look like underfed weaklings, throw something to him and ask him to catch it, and you'll suddenly feel a bit better about yourself. (But just a bit: an inability to catch things is his only weakness.)