LAMICHAEL JAMES ARRESTED, CHOKES OFF CHANCE OF PLAYING NEXT YEAR
by Spencer Hall on Feb 17, 2010 11:54 AM EST
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PrintOh, my. LaMichael James, Oregon running back whose breakout freshman season bailed out the Ducks after LeGarrette Blount's Falcon Punch, has been arrested in Springfield, Oregon for domestic violence. From KEZI in Oregon:
He (James) was booked at the Lane County Jail just before three o'clock Wednesday morning.
The Lane County Sheriff's Office website lists James' charges as strangulation, assault-4 and menacing.
While good news for incoming freshman RB Lache Seastrunk, it's dismal news for Oregon. James was the cornerstone of their offense last year and a terror on the zone read play with Jeremiah Masoli (who may or may not be in legal trouble all his own.) The loss leaves not just a hole on the depth chart, but takes a serious chunk of production out of the Ducks' offense for 2010 if he's convicted and inevitably kicked off the team.
Fulmer Cup-wise, it's hard to imagine those aren't felony charges unless Oregon has a previously unheard-of casual attitude towards the strangulation of domestic partners in a non-cooperative fashion. Assault-4 looks to read "fourth-degree assault," which is usually a misdemeanor, while menacing is also usually a misdemeanor unless a deadly weapon is used. A man-sized D-1 running back may, indeed, be considered that.
Conservatively, let's say three points for strangulation, one each for the misdemeanors, and then add in Rob Beard's one point for fourth-degree assault in the street fight that got him kicked in the head and hospitalized, and that's an aggregate score of six points for the Ducks, who have suddenly become your Fulmer Cup favorites with a total score of seven on the year and more possibly to come.
What's going on with Oregon? It's like they're on QUACK! <---shoots this joke with elephant gun
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I have a hard time keeping my “La” and “Le” prefixes straight when I look at Oregon’s roster, but, then again, I really never was very good at French.
Difference is these French fight
Auburn and Tennessee fans are a lot like Slinkys...neither are worth much but you do get a sense of satisfaction from pushing them down a flight of stairs
Oregon law. (Is fulmer cup research pro bono work?)
assault 4 = misdemeanor, unless the person has assaulted the same person before, or assaulted anyone 3 times before, or did it in front of victim’s child
strangulation = misdemeanor
menacing = misdemeanor
Menacing is what most states call assault (making someone scared they’re about to battered), and assault 4 is what most states call battery (intentionally hurting someone)
Choke a Bitch
should have its own Fulmer Cup category and appropriate point award, regardless of whether it’s a felony or misdemeanor.
by ESS EEE SEE Speed on Feb 17, 2010 12:43 PM EST up reply actions
Oregon is for Pansies
I’d never even heard of 4th degree assault until these two Oregon cases. If you’re going to assault someone, do it right or leave it to the professionals.
by ramblingamblinjohn on Feb 17, 2010 2:59 PM EST up reply actions
Strangulation is a misdemeanor?
Oregon is a harsh, harsh place. It is pro bono work, and may count towards any firm requirements for pro bono hours. EDSBS: We here for the lawyaz.
Yeah. And scarier:
Note the bold.
163.187. Strangulation.
(1) A person commits the crime of strangulation if the person knowingly impedes the normal breathing or circulation of the blood of another person by:
(a) Applying pressure on the throat or neck of the other person; or
(b) Blocking the nose or mouth of the other person.
(2) Subsection (1) of this section does not apply to legitimate medical or dental procedures or good faith practices of a religious belief.
What the hell kind of “good faith practices of a religious belief” involve choking a bitch? NOW WE KNOW HIS DEFENSE1
And he picked the right time...
There’s a bill stuck in committe that in some cases would up strangulation to a felony:
House Bill 2447
Now that’s knowing when to get things done
by cbweatherman on Feb 17, 2010 12:36 PM EST up reply actions
Serious answer
The Thuggee cult/bandits of India used their headscarves as instruments of strangulation when attacking travellers , and were often devotees of the Hindu goddess Kali. So as long as LaMichael is a Hindu, he’s totally fine.
/endsnerditude
Brian Kelly says no Burger King at 3 AM.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 17, 2010 12:37 PM EST up reply actions
Indy! Covah ya haht!
they will also pull out your still beating heart before plunging you into a pit of lava and enslave your children. I understand that this falls under assault-1000 in Oregon and does not get the benefit of the religious practices defense as held in In re Stones of Sankara.
by haveagreatday on Feb 17, 2010 4:34 PM EST up reply actions
Good faith
That would be when the full-immersion Baptist preacher holds your nose closed as he lowers your head under the water.
"I like the taste of danger most of all." - Jonatha Brooke
by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 17, 2010 12:38 PM EST up reply actions
I love when the comments get all lawery
and I can’t believe no one brought up erotic asphyxiation yet.
No one wants to hear about Pam Ward's Friday night.
Brian Kelly says no Burger King at 3 AM.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Feb 17, 2010 1:23 PM EST up reply actions
I have a date with Pam Ward this Friday.....
…..and it consists of watching Kung Fu Season 1 on dvd and a baker’s dozen worth of lemon wedges.
I should probably reschedule.
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." - Hunter S. Thompson
by Sexual Chili on Feb 17, 2010 2:33 PM EST up reply actions
baptiism
not sure about you but being underwater usually impedes my normal breathing…
I would imagine...
…that a harsher act of strangulation could have the charge of attempted murder attached to it, making the need for a felony strangulation charge unnecessary. I think any act we could be imagining that would be serious enough to be a felony would fall into that category.
This obviously makes tOSU's win in the Rose Bowl even more impressive.
Any team that has this kind of diverse Fulmer Cup talent is hard to beat.
by Crabapple Buck on Feb 17, 2010 12:19 PM EST reply actions
Not a problem for Oregon
Bellotti is in his office right now, whiting out the name Rodney Woods and putting in LaMichael James.
Typical Oregon year
The Ducks will jet out to an early lead in The Fulmer Cup, sparking discussions of a ‘changing of the guard’ in national Fulmer Cup competition.
Then, around June, suffer a surprise bout of exemplary behavior (aka ’Lose to Stanford/ASU) and drop from the Top Ten.
Then finish with some high profile criminality and become everyone’s sexy pick to win it all next year.
Duck Voodoo... Its Real!
www.duckvoodoo.com
Another possible defense
He’s either pre-Med or studying for his BDent.
Oregon. Where they take the word “quack” seriously.
Sullivan013
Has Barry Switzer been seen around Eugene?
It appears the Ducks may have a lack of institutional control problem.
Your tongue can't repel flavor of that magnitude!!
by UT2001 on Feb 17, 2010 2:36 PM EST via mobile reply actions
Dear University of Oregon,
Thanks, buddy.
Sincerely,
The University of Florida
Menacing?
I didn’t even know that was a crime. It doesn’t sound nearly as fun as mayhem.
by five point stance on Feb 17, 2010 3:17 PM EST reply actions
When it takes place up in the club,
it is called mean mugging. It is not a crime in Mississippi as long as the motherfucker had it coming.
by haveagreatday on Feb 17, 2010 4:37 PM EST up reply actions
Not to be a jackass
and I’m surprised, too. But strangulation is only a class-A misdemeanor in Oregon, so that should only be one cup point………….
That out of the way, this is horrible news. And, if true, a dispicible action.
--Dave
Addicted to Quack, SBN's Oregon Ducks blog
I’m guessing it’s a misdemeanor because of its broad definition.
Forms of strangulation in the State of Oregon:
1. Covering up one’s mouth is strangulation (As if you’re trying to keep someone from yelling or something)
2. Picking up and tossing someone to the ground by their neck like a professional wrestler
3. Blocking their blood flow with their massive biceps around their neck “Rambo Style”
4. Poking Agent Smith’s voice box while fighting in the Matrix
its spelled "S-H-U-F-E-L-T-N-O-B-A-L-L-S"
I'm sorry...
but I can’t see an Oregon fan use the word despicable without thinking of Donald Duck.
Whatever happened to the Masoli trouble?
Despicable? That would be Daffy Duck
"I like the taste of danger most of all." - Jonatha Brooke
by MtnEer_in_SC on Feb 17, 2010 5:00 PM EST up reply actions
Masoli is all clear.
Details in the case were very poor, so there was no evidence he was even at the place where the robberies occurred.
Barner + Seastrunk + Williams + Alston + Huff + Lowe...
Can we get a ruling on the US vs Switzerland in men’s curling? I mean if we are going to give Oregon points for Lamichael James’s choking we should give USA Curling points for John Schuster choking twice! What. The. Fuck.
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me rather than a frontal lobotomy. - Waits
Yeah that was brutal
I invested all that time in watching curling.
"I'm colonel cool! And I'm the captain on this rocket to the stars!"
by psuphiman80 on Feb 18, 2010 12:01 AM EST up reply actions
DA
They better hope the DA didn’t attend a UDUB law school.
Like LGB was reinstated before the ASU game last year? Man, those Sun Devils nearly beat us...
Tracy Porter's gonna score! TRACY PORTER'S GONNA SCORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (HT Takimoto)
by AllSaintsDay on Feb 18, 2010 4:53 PM EST up reply actions
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