FULMER CUPDATE! COLORADO GETS TIPSY, ALBEIT SLOWLY

Markques Simas, Colorado WR, earns two points for garden variety suspicion of DUI for his arrest last week in Boulder. Simas was pulled over and blew a .135 for the police, a sum well over the legal limis of .08 and enough to get him suspended and possibly booted from the team completely.

Dan Hawkins plans to replace Simas, second on the team in receptions last year, with a slow but gutsy kid from somewhere in Wyoming who can catch wobbly three-yard passes thrown off Cody Hawkins' backfootJ. 

My plan hasn't changed. We haven't changed. No matter what, we're here to do what we're here to do: create a football team full of B and C grade recruits who play with immense heart and effort in alternating crippling losses to conference opponents and close losses to out-of-conference opponents. Occasionally we may throw in a complete blowout at the hands of Toledo in there, but that's life and it's unpredictable and there's nothing you can do about it.

We're going to focus on the things we do best, like winning two improbable games a year against competition we have no business beating, and then blowing games against Iowa State. If you'll excuse me, I have to go read a motivational speech to myself in the mirror to keep from crying. * 

To review: Colorado with two points in the Fulmer Cup, and Dan Hawkins is still your coach because you cannot afford to buy him out. SAD FACE. 

*Not an actual quote. But yeah, it should be.