TODD MCSHAY DRAFTED BY TEBOW IN MANCRUSH DRAFT
by Spencer Hall on Feb 1, 2010 12:41 PM EST
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PrintTodd McShay has been particularly vocal in his critique of Tim Tebow's prospects as potential NFL quarterback, something we here at EDSBS have no particular problem with overall. We lovingly refer to Tim Tebow's throwing motion as "the Frittata," a fluffy whisking of the ball from hip to knee to hip and then to the shoulder that takes 3.6 seconds in total and carries the ball on a round trip of 14 meters. It's the Monarch Butterfly Roundtrip of throwing motions, and like the Monarch's long trip it both worked at a certain level.
It won't at the pro level without serious modifications from the floor up, which is why we hope for Tim's sake he's drafted by the Dolphins in their continuing attempt to bring college playbooks to the pros. (Plays which, no matter the formation or play, are all referred to as "the Wildcat" by NFL announcers.) In the meantime you get to listen to Todd McShay say things like the following about Tebow:
"He has some of the worst mechanics I've ever seen on a pro prospect"
"He couldn't piss on a turd in a hot shithouse."
"He should be raped by Cossacks for even showing up and attempting to play quarterback in the NFL."
Has difficulty taking snaps from under center, and is baffled by simple reads.
"Seriously, I'd pay to watch Russians rape Tim Tebow. I'm not even picky about the Russian military unit you choose to do it since they're all really good at the raping thing. The Spetznaz would be nice, of course, but they're pricey. I paid some Belorussian highway patrolman to assault Eric Crouch in the 2002 draft, and that worked out just fine." <----TEN SECONDS OF DEAD STARING INTO CAMERA.
We're not saying McShay is wrong. We're just saying he likes to watch college quarterbacks fail, and possibly that he likes paying Russian military units to sexually assault them for his pleasure. In a perfect world, the only commercial we care about at the Super Bowl involves Todd McShay, Tim Tebow, and a jealous Urban Meyer. Why, sir, this commercial can't possibly exist, you say? Oh, surely you know better than that now. (After the jump.)
Remember: it's not gay if it's with Tebow, and that is a way better pro-life ad than whatever Focus On The Family is going to air during the Super Bowl, because it is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT SEXY AND FABULOUS, and life should always be that.
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How much would we have to pool together to get that commercial on the air?
NittanyWhiteOut.com. Arguably the second best Penn State blog I know of.
I’ll pitch in $5. Maybe$ 10 if we can get Mel Kiper in there
by CincyJacket on Feb 1, 2010 12:47 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
$2.5 mill.
Or 50 million Chizik Nickels
I'm Banana dammit!!!
by BurritoBrosShits on Feb 1, 2010 12:49 PM EST up reply actions
Stan Gable
I’ll give two bits…no, four bits….no, six bits. Ah, hell, I’ll pitch in a dollar! And some pocket lint….
Let's be fair here...
…and possibly that he likes paying Russian military units to sexually assault them for his pleasure.
I mean really, who doesn’t enjoy paying Russian military units to sexually assault others for them? Just me? Well, uh…nevermind then.
by RaginCajunRebel on Feb 1, 2010 12:59 PM EST reply actions
The corrosive effects of capitalism
Time was, Soviet military units committed sexual assault for the glorious continuation of world revolution and worker control. They didn’t have to be paid to rape just about any German female they could get their hands on, and a number of donkeys for the slow and addled.
communism's flaw
The Soviet system was predicated on “equal rape for all” and assumed the perfectibility of man: that a person could someday live a life where he raped all others, men and women, equally and without undue concentration of rape. But even the most casual rapist knows that such a system is impractical – those who are most attractive will be raped more often, and those that are strongest will rape the most.
It is simply humanity’s curse to never build the bold and beautiful “Rape Utopia” of the late 19th-century imagination.
"In case you're wondering what the offense should look like, that wasn't it." - Urban Meyer
by cantcatchuf on Feb 1, 2010 2:12 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
So what you’re saying is: the only way to get people to think that they’re in a socialist utopia is to deprive them of something for some period of time, under conditions of great duress, and then give them a couple of months of binge consumption?
Sounds like the Liberal/Progressive blueprint
Kinda backfiring now though…
"Ignorance, I can fix, stupidity, well that's another matter!"-82nd Airborne NCO
Ah, the Freek in all his glory
returns to the pages of EDSBS. I’m a happy camper today.
Once a Mountaineer, always a Mountaineer.
Thank God/Allah/Yaweh for "The Jump" because, without it,
EDSBS posts like this would be somewhat crippled.
Red Cup Rebellion - Changing the Culture of Ole Miss Athletics
Take a picture, trick.
by The Ghost of Jay Cutler on Feb 1, 2010 1:04 PM EST reply actions
Even Gino Torretta was in an NFL camp for 4.7 seconds....Lord Tebow can beat that.
By the way, is Merrill Hoge still attacking Vince Young?
With the 10th/11th pick in the draft.....
The Jacksonville Jaguars pick Jes- I mean- Tim Tebow!
I'm Banana dammit!!!
by BurritoBrosShits on Feb 1, 2010 1:12 PM EST reply actions
*LA Jaguars
FTFY
Luck is probability taken personally, clutch is probability attributed to individuals.
by shake n bake on Feb 2, 2010 10:02 AM EST up reply actions
Two Years Ago...
McShay had TT leaving a year early and going in the top ten to the Bears.
That’s not a shot on McShay, but a shaken fist at God. Baby Rhino on the Bears = Rex Grossman juxtapositions that boggle the mind and tickle me in funny places. What could have been.
McShay couldn't sniff the field at Richmond
So he make’s an excellent QB scout. If they are nothing like him, they will succeed.
Black Shoes. Basic Blues. No Name. All Game.
"Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the mouth."
Oddly enough, McShay and his mom are in a pro abortion ad.
Turns out she wishes she never gave birth to that douche.
Counter-UAV is up!
Ugh i had to take 11 seconds to create an account!?
Anyways, Spetsnaz….interesting choice for your second Russian military unit – your Call of Duty is showing.
Anyone who was nervous about content being tamed because of the new crib...
may relax.
Wow. Freak. Wow.
I’m no expert on mechanics, and I sure as hell don’t like Tebow’s colors or politics, but McShay’s critiques are almost mean spirited. Did winning two national titles and scaring the living shit out of everyone on the Gator’s schedule earn Timmy Totz the right to try? Yes. Is the kid supposed to apologize for trying? No. Do I hope someone breaks him in halfsies? Kinda.
Well, THAT explains it.
It’s not that it was man-on-man…it was VIKING on PACKER. UGH!
Yes, I live in Starkville...WHO did I piss off in a past life?
by Queen Hoka-Hotty-Toddy on Feb 1, 2010 2:19 PM EST reply actions
If all else fails in the NFL for Tebow....
he looks good in Under Armor gear. Focus on the Family could co-sponsor.
WEMUSTPROTECTTHISHOUSE…..OF JESUS!
by ESS EEE SEE Speed on Feb 1, 2010 3:33 PM EST reply actions
If all else fails in the NFL for Tebow...
There’s always the Browns…
by W.C. Fields' Nose on Feb 1, 2010 4:09 PM EST reply actions
Tebows throwin motion
I always felt it was akin to a professional ping pong champions serve, except more topspin..
McSassy can take snaps under my center...
… as long as he keeps talking shit about Tblow.
by BuckeyeMonologues on Feb 1, 2010 5:57 PM EST reply actions
Tebow says "When people tell you 'you can't', say 'I will' "
http://wvmetronews.com/index.cfm?func=displayfullstory&storyid=34984
Has a link to a speech he gave in Beckley, WV.
Doubtful
Not sure that Beckley has much of a transcription industry for fancy speeches and the like…
Of course the conversation degenerated...
You were having it with a bunch of degenerates.
by MaliBuckeye at The BBC on Feb 1, 2010 7:48 PM EST up reply actions
I listened to the speech on the radio, so perhaps the streaming excerpts on the above site don’t include the part I heard.
But they do have one o them fancy newspapers
sure they do
There is an Armed forces recruiting super center there. Trust me, they dot all the “i’s” and cross all the “t’s”. They never lied to me either. They told me “pathfinder” would be a good job for a hillbilly like me, just like a camping trip. They were right, as I slept on the ground for 5 solid years after that, and 9 years out of 21.
"Ignorance, I can fix, stupidity, well that's another matter!"-82nd Airborne NCO
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