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Around SBN: Champions League Preview with Jimmy Conrad

35 FOR 35: THE TEXAS BOWL PODCAST


The Texas Bowl will in effect be a Baylor home game, since people tend to get excited when you haven't been to a bowl since 1994 when Grant Teaff was the coach, Notre Dame was a national power, and the corpse of Crystal Pepsi was still warm to the touch.  Holly and ourselves discuss the BIG VOICE GUY, how very excited the Illini players are about this game, about the Illini's amazing globe-trotting schedule, and Eddie McGee, master of robots and other semi-animate technologies. [NAME REDACTED] GONNA HEADBUTT HIS WAY TO VICTORY.

We also call Mikel Leshoure "LeMikel Shoure," but only because we're editing his name to something even more fabulous, and not because we just suffered a small stroke HEY IS THAT TOAST MMMM TOAST.

Listen here, or in the player below.

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Re: The Illini faithful

They were out on the town here in Houston last night. I must say, that is one ugly, obnoxious bunch.

Gotta go, T Boone Pickens just walked in.

by TheBlackAttack on Dec 29, 2010 12:45 PM EST via mobile reply actions  

I am currently in the Houston Airport

I have already been alerted by the scads of cheap clothing that I should not, in fact, mess with TECKSUS. I also just saw a woman that looked like an extra from the early 90s TV show “Dinosaurs”.

Run the Dive: Blog - Twitter

by Peter Gray on Dec 29, 2010 1:13 PM EST reply actions  

Get it?

Because Texans are fat and talk funny. Lolz

Gotta go, T Boone Pickens just walked in.

by TheBlackAttack on Dec 29, 2010 2:10 PM EST via mobile up reply actions  

So did Greyshirt

stereotype a large group on the basis of limited interaction with a small percentage of them?

by DanF5 on Dec 29, 2010 2:17 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm sorry, is anyone arguing that he's wrong?

It’s Houston, y’all. They should own their shortcomings by this point.

________________________________
I will give my shirt for Tennessee today.

by Holly Anderson on Dec 29, 2010 2:51 PM EST up reply actions  

Exactly

It’s way more fun that way

For example: In a Google Image Search for Stereotypical Wisconsin, the first image that isn’t too big to break the internet is this

The second is this

I don’t even know what that means, but I love it.

"Ah, that's repulsive, that's repugnant, that's recorrigible, that's retragnicent. These aren't even words. These aren't even wo...what am I saying, I don't even know. I can't go on, I can't go on anymore, make it stop." ~ Puppet Michael Floyd

by stempke on Dec 29, 2010 3:13 PM EST up reply actions  

Should go alcohol, cheese, alcohol, alcohol, snow, alcohol, cow, alcohol, lake, alcohol as the top 10.

by Erik T on Dec 29, 2010 3:37 PM EST up reply actions  

And if we were to do Minnesota it'd be

Hockey, alcohol, alcohol, snow, lake, hockey, ’nother lake, alcohol, cow, Herb Brooks, alcohol

"Ah, that's repulsive, that's repugnant, that's recorrigible, that's retragnicent. These aren't even words. These aren't even wo...what am I saying, I don't even know. I can't go on, I can't go on anymore, make it stop." ~ Puppet Michael Floyd

by stempke on Dec 29, 2010 3:40 PM EST up reply actions  

Sounds about right. Maybe a canoe in there somewhere?

by Erik T on Dec 29, 2010 4:10 PM EST up reply actions  

No, Somali refugees

The Daily Norseman
Off Tackle Empire
SB Nation Minnesota

"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 5:10 PM EST up reply actions  

Quoted for truth.

by Erik T on Dec 29, 2010 5:19 PM EST up reply actions  

I guess then we should add Hmong refugees to the Wisconsin one then

La Crosse has the largest percentage of Hmong people in the U.S.

"Ah, that's repulsive, that's repugnant, that's recorrigible, that's retragnicent. These aren't even words. These aren't even wo...what am I saying, I don't even know. I can't go on, I can't go on anymore, make it stop." ~ Puppet Michael Floyd

by stempke on Dec 29, 2010 5:23 PM EST up reply actions  

I bet St. Paul still kicks its ass in absolute terms though.

by Erik T on Dec 29, 2010 5:44 PM EST up reply actions  

Yeah, probably

But that’s not that impressive considering St. Paul is probably 10x the size of La Crosse

"Ah, that's repulsive, that's repugnant, that's recorrigible, that's retragnicent. These aren't even words. These aren't even wo...what am I saying, I don't even know. I can't go on, I can't go on anymore, make it stop." ~ Puppet Michael Floyd

by stempke on Dec 29, 2010 5:47 PM EST up reply actions  

That is one thing that I never understood

Lets take these people, who are now homeless because they fought on our side in the Vietnam War and stick them in the Midwest. They should adjust quickly from the Tropical hills and jungles of South Vietnam / Laos right?

"Ah, that's repulsive, that's repugnant, that's recorrigible, that's retragnicent. These aren't even words. These aren't even wo...what am I saying, I don't even know. I can't go on, I can't go on anymore, make it stop." ~ Puppet Michael Floyd

by stempke on Dec 29, 2010 6:05 PM EST up reply actions  

I wouldn't inflict that on the people that fought against us, much less our allies

"Ah, that's repulsive, that's repugnant, that's recorrigible, that's retragnicent. These aren't even words. These aren't even wo...what am I saying, I don't even know. I can't go on, I can't go on anymore, make it stop." ~ Puppet Michael Floyd

by stempke on Dec 29, 2010 6:07 PM EST up reply actions  

Although, now that I think about it, sending mountain tribal refugees from Southeast Asia

to Alabama ought to get them above 48th in the union in literacy, tons of toilet paper used, and shoe ownership per capita.

"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."

by Bob Genghiskhan on Dec 29, 2010 6:10 PM EST up reply actions  

See "Galveston Bay" by Springsteen, Bruce

"Ah, that's repulsive, that's repugnant, that's recorrigible, that's retragnicent. These aren't even words. These aren't even wo...what am I saying, I don't even know. I can't go on, I can't go on anymore, make it stop." ~ Puppet Michael Floyd

by stempke on Dec 29, 2010 6:21 PM EST up reply actions  

There was a bizarre court case called Vietnamese Fisherman's Association vs. Knights of the Ku Klux Klan

The Supreme Court upheld Texas when they dismantled militia camps that the KKK had set up to ride around the bay and intimidate the Vietnamese fishers.

by Cantabrigian_UGA_Fan on Dec 29, 2010 6:26 PM EST up reply actions  

Googles... reads....

Thanks, this seems immensely interesting.

"Ah, that's repulsive, that's repugnant, that's recorrigible, that's retragnicent. These aren't even words. These aren't even wo...what am I saying, I don't even know. I can't go on, I can't go on anymore, make it stop." ~ Puppet Michael Floyd

by stempke on Dec 29, 2010 6:28 PM EST up reply actions  

It was really all a big misunderstanding.

They were just coming to say hello and see if the fishermen wanted to have a cup of tea.

by vineyarddawg on Dec 29, 2010 6:33 PM EST up reply actions  

Spongbob Squarepants fan club meeting in Tyron’s mom’s basement.

"Let me tell you a story. I was a political prisoner for two years. The instant I was released I ran to McDonald's. I had a Big Mac and a Coke.

It was fantastic."
-Toyama Koichi, US Presidential candidate from Japan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGZqOkeYbB0

by AERose on Dec 29, 2010 6:34 PM EST up reply actions  

Shortcomings?

I consider our bountiful feasts and unique dialect to be redeeming qualities.

I’m not fat, and don’t have an accent, but am native to these here parts, and think it’s a great city, even if the average citizen may be a bit bloated.

Gotta go, T Boone Pickens just walked in.

by TheBlackAttack on Dec 29, 2010 4:41 PM EST via mobile up reply actions  

on behalf of an angry Illini Nation

I thank (Name Redacted) for losing to Michigan, Minnesota and Fresno State so we are here and not somewhere more lush like Jacksonville. Landed a few hours ago. Pouring rain. Bad burger at the Sheraton. Illinois football=purgatory on earth.

"Warren, YOU IDIOT!"

by Fire Ron Guenther on Dec 29, 2010 1:53 PM EST via mobile reply actions  

Burger at the Sheraton?

What did you expect? Serves you right.

by touchdown H-town on Dec 29, 2010 3:17 PM EST up reply actions  

who eats in a hotel

in general?
well beyond breakfast; especially anything that comes out in the warmer trays. Make it yourself waffles or preserved muffins FTW.

...i'm not falling asleep; i'm just fading to black...

by Boozy McHound on Dec 29, 2010 3:49 PM EST up reply actions  

Some of the best restaurants in the world are in Hotels

These hotels are not named Sheraton, however

"Ah, that's repulsive, that's repugnant, that's recorrigible, that's retragnicent. These aren't even words. These aren't even wo...what am I saying, I don't even know. I can't go on, I can't go on anymore, make it stop." ~ Puppet Michael Floyd

by stempke on Dec 29, 2010 3:51 PM EST up reply actions  

I fully blame me

And given that we can’t get a fire going for grill in parking lot due to near flash flood condititions, the bad burger was my salvation.

"Warren, YOU IDIOT!"

by Fire Ron Guenther on Dec 29, 2010 3:54 PM EST via mobile up reply actions  

Stop recruiting Kentucky recruits plz

There’s not enough for us both to have good teams

I like to get drunk and yell at people on the internet

by Old South on Dec 29, 2010 9:30 PM EST up reply actions  

Houston

Don’t miss the humidity, year-round mosquitoes, and Interstate traffic that came to a complete stop every 15 minutes. Do miss Fu’s Garden and Antoine’s Sub Shop if they’re still around. Baylor Law grad, so go bears or whatever it is they say.

by Wozzo the Wonder Dog on Dec 29, 2010 3:03 PM EST reply actions  

tailgate update

Standing water in lot. Five grown men drinking Shiner Bock and eating venison sausage, sitting in car. Illinois football=sausagefest. Literally.

"Warren, YOU IDIOT!"

by Fire Ron Guenther on Dec 29, 2010 3:56 PM EST via mobile reply actions  

Maybe theyre Baylor fans

You know they don’t allow women into the men’s dorms there, so they’re used to it.

by touchdown H-town on Dec 29, 2010 4:20 PM EST up reply actions  

Wow. That, um, sounds fun.

by Erik T on Dec 29, 2010 4:23 PM EST up reply actions  

It's actually worse than it sounds

I went to a Catholic school. Girls were not allowed into the dorm after midnight. This terrible rule lead to me living off campus after freshman year and in fairness, also to the greatest moment of my dorm life.

I live down the hall from a football player. One night when he was about to get busted for having a girl in his room, he threw her into the hallway. When she asked “what do you want me to do?” He simply replied “Run Bitch!” and slammed his door

"Ah, that's repulsive, that's repugnant, that's recorrigible, that's retragnicent. These aren't even words. These aren't even wo...what am I saying, I don't even know. I can't go on, I can't go on anymore, make it stop." ~ Puppet Michael Floyd

by stempke on Dec 29, 2010 5:00 PM EST up reply actions  

Aha!

I know exactly where stempke lived.

Beat the rush.

by Ancient Chinese Secret on Dec 29, 2010 6:01 PM EST up reply actions  

Riyadh?

"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."

by Bob Genghiskhan on Dec 29, 2010 6:05 PM EST up reply actions  

I lived in Siegfried

But I’ve since learned that Ronald Talley pulled a very similar trick a few years back.

"Ah, that's repulsive, that's repugnant, that's recorrigible, that's retragnicent. These aren't even words. These aren't even wo...what am I saying, I don't even know. I can't go on, I can't go on anymore, make it stop." ~ Puppet Michael Floyd

by stempke on Dec 29, 2010 6:06 PM EST up reply actions  

Yeah

after doing the maths, I realized that you probably weren’t there at the same time as Mr. Talley and myself.

Beat the rush.

by Ancient Chinese Secret on Dec 29, 2010 6:07 PM EST up reply actions  

Only had 2 years of Talley myself

I really enjoyed when he ended a Keenan Review skit with “Run Bitch”

by Irishjugg on Dec 29, 2010 6:09 PM EST up reply actions  

I was very sad when the Packers cut Mr. Talley

His interviews were always awesome. That and he intentionally picked a fat little black girl and her pink my little pony bike for the Training Camp Tradition

"Ah, that's repulsive, that's repugnant, that's recorrigible, that's retragnicent. These aren't even words. These aren't even wo...what am I saying, I don't even know. I can't go on, I can't go on anymore, make it stop." ~ Puppet Michael Floyd

by stempke on Dec 29, 2010 6:11 PM EST up reply actions  

Yeah I was gonna say Talley.

Must have been paying Homage.

In other football player + females related content, Lived across the hall from Travis Thomas one summer (well,a friend did, I just got hammered and passed out on a stolen mattress on his floor most nights).

Well he dated a 85ish pound asian girl. From the sounds of things he enjoyed slamming into holes he definitely couldn’t fit thru and losing the game in all aspects of life.

by Irishjugg on Dec 29, 2010 6:09 PM EST up reply actions  

Co-worker is an Illini

Here in San Antonio. He didn’t even bother taking off work to watch the beginning of the game. Fired-up fanbase, indeed.

by Dr. Norris Camacho on Dec 29, 2010 5:29 PM EST via mobile reply actions  

which tim and eric

makes fun of the deep voice commercial guy?

Cliff Harris on deciding to be a Duck: "Not too far, but not too close. Just everything about Oregon - I love the green."

by AutzenGetsBlounted on Dec 29, 2010 5:59 PM EST reply actions  

"You're suspect to this type of play"?

Shouldn’t basic mastery of the English language be a minimal requirement for the job?

"That chick was like, the Pele of anal."

by Bob Genghiskhan on Dec 29, 2010 6:13 PM EST reply actions  

One of only 2 Wolverines I don't want to kill

"Ah, that's repulsive, that's repugnant, that's recorrigible, that's retragnicent. These aren't even words. These aren't even wo...what am I saying, I don't even know. I can't go on, I can't go on anymore, make it stop." ~ Puppet Michael Floyd

by stempke on Dec 29, 2010 6:17 PM EST up reply actions  

A backward pass going backward,eh Griese?

Not racist,but equally as dumb.

"We didn't tackle well today but we made up for it by not blocking."-John McKay

by Trouble's A Bruin on Dec 29, 2010 6:14 PM EST reply actions  

All righty, kids.

I’m off to the rock show. You all behave yourselves for these, um, “football” “bowl” “games”.

Beat the rush.

by Ancient Chinese Secret on Dec 29, 2010 6:18 PM EST reply actions  

enjoy those geodes!

The Susquehanna Hat Company killed my father!

by Donovan Hamstain on Dec 29, 2010 6:19 PM EST up reply actions  

HAHAHA

Liuget is “legit” amirite????

by Dr. Norris Camacho on Dec 29, 2010 6:19 PM EST via mobile reply actions  

I'd slap you

if I hadn’t thought the same thing.

by Alaska Hokie on Dec 29, 2010 6:19 PM EST up reply actions  

Don't worry

I slap the TV every time I hear it.

by Dr. Norris Camacho on Dec 29, 2010 6:23 PM EST via mobile up reply actions  

Well all, I must leave you. The family and I are going out to eat. The restaurant says it's BYOB

Do you think I brought enough?

"Ah, that's repulsive, that's repugnant, that's recorrigible, that's retragnicent. These aren't even words. These aren't even wo...what am I saying, I don't even know. I can't go on, I can't go on anymore, make it stop." ~ Puppet Michael Floyd

by stempke on Dec 29, 2010 6:29 PM EST reply actions  

depends on the size of your family

there’s surprisingly little meat on a team of horses

The Susquehanna Hat Company killed my father!

by Donovan Hamstain on Dec 29, 2010 6:31 PM EST up reply actions  

The family is me, my fiancee, and our 5 month old

I will be the only one drinking, I’m still not sure if I brought enough

"Ah, that's repulsive, that's repugnant, that's recorrigible, that's retragnicent. These aren't even words. These aren't even wo...what am I saying, I don't even know. I can't go on, I can't go on anymore, make it stop." ~ Puppet Michael Floyd

by stempke on Dec 29, 2010 6:33 PM EST up reply actions  

Evening to all.

Just received my copy of NCAA 11 in the mail and can’t wait to get to it after tonight’s games are over and here’s to The Fightin’ Zookers of Illinois.

I love how everything Michael Irvin says sounds like an NCAA recruiting violation.

by Super C on Dec 29, 2010 6:32 PM EST reply actions  

PS3, my good man.

I love how everything Michael Irvin says sounds like an NCAA recruiting violation.

by Super C on Dec 29, 2010 6:59 PM EST up reply actions  

FFF

I have like three xbox360 friends and they’re all people I’m actual friends with. And none of them have NCAA 11 so I’ve never been able to play it online unless I pick a random opponent who inevitably kicks onsides every play and uses exploits I’m not familiar with.

There is a Twitter | The website is 30fps

by Bubbaprog on Dec 29, 2010 7:01 PM EST up reply actions  

Argh!

I love how everything Michael Irvin says sounds like an NCAA recruiting violation.

by Super C on Dec 29, 2010 7:05 PM EST up reply actions  

Do you want me to tell you all the little things about the game that pissed me off and rendered in unplayable for me?

And will likely do the same to you if I make you cognizant of them?

I like to get drunk and yell at people on the internet

by Old South on Dec 29, 2010 9:34 PM EST up reply actions  

"true fresh vs true fresh."

/broseph’d

"think you used enough dynamite there, butch?"

by erin andrews' landing strip on Dec 29, 2010 6:40 PM EST reply actions  

Alright...food time.

Do I pick up something quick or do I brave the Buffalo Wild Wings of the world?

by Charles UF on Dec 29, 2010 6:44 PM EST reply actions  

Why wait for terrible food?

That’s why I don’t stand in line at fast food places.

by Tracer Bullet on Dec 29, 2010 6:47 PM EST up reply actions  

Are you implying BW3 is not good?

If you are implying that you are CRAZY or you have poorly-managed BW3 locations in your vicinity.

There is a Twitter | The website is 30fps

by Bubbaprog on Dec 29, 2010 7:07 PM EST up reply actions  

Mikel Leshoure is a beast

of course, it’s not like Baylor has a real defense or anything.

The Daily Norseman
Off Tackle Empire
SB Nation Minnesota

"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 6:59 PM EST reply actions  

Her face just screams

Happy Hour.

I love how everything Michael Irvin says sounds like an NCAA recruiting violation.

by Super C on Dec 29, 2010 7:13 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Hey!

That hair has a face.

by RivalDawg on Dec 29, 2010 7:22 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Lots o' Glass Vodka


From Mainway Industries.

My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.

by jonfmorse on Dec 29, 2010 7:14 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

He's the guy who sold me

my Johnny Human Torch Halloween costume. Nice guy.

by Awesome Bill from Dawsonville on Dec 29, 2010 7:17 PM EST up reply actions  

So, having arrived late

and seeing the current situation, I have only one burning question:

Who’d they replace Redacted with when they fired him pre-game?

My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.

by jonfmorse on Dec 29, 2010 7:17 PM EST reply actions  

---

The Daily Norseman
Off Tackle Empire
SB Nation Minnesota

"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 7:25 PM EST up reply actions  

In, of course, a Japanese animation style.

by Erik T on Dec 29, 2010 7:25 PM EST up reply actions  

You’ve never seen one of those on the menu? They’re everywhere, although I’ve never personally ordered one.

by Erik T on Dec 29, 2010 7:26 PM EST up reply actions  

I've seen them on tv

but I’ve never actually encountered one at a place I’ve gone to.

by Charles UF on Dec 29, 2010 7:27 PM EST up reply actions  

They are pretty good

Amsterdam is all over that shit, unfortunately the meat leaves something everything to be desired

by Irishjugg on Dec 29, 2010 7:29 PM EST up reply actions  

And covered in mayo?

I don’t partake in burgers anymore when I go to Europe because I know it’ll just depress me. How can they do so many more difficult things right, but be unable to properly do a solid cheeseburger?

by Charles UF on Dec 29, 2010 7:31 PM EST up reply actions  

Febo

I think that is all I need to say to illustrate how badly tey do burgers, but how well they do the concept of “fast” in fast food

by Irishjugg on Dec 29, 2010 7:32 PM EST up reply actions  

Overrated

The huevos don’t add much in the flavor department and once the yolk breaks, the bun is fucked.

Hallucinogenic love drugs, sir. The pagans were taking them. We were trying to fit in.

by Cali Dawg on Dec 29, 2010 7:32 PM EST up reply actions  

Not if it's toasted

Then it’s masturbatory

The Daily Norseman
Off Tackle Empire
SB Nation Minnesota

"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 7:32 PM EST up reply actions  

Fucking the bun

Usually you pay extra for that.

/rimshot
//rimshotseemsextraappropriatelynamed

by Irishjugg on Dec 29, 2010 7:33 PM EST up reply actions  

au cheval: confusing translation in euroland

the egg is riding horseback on the burger, not a burger made of horse.

by horndude on Dec 29, 2010 7:32 PM EST up reply actions  

every fucking team I pick shits the fucking bed

Every 14 Seconds. Early, Often, And Without Remorse. WTD.
Charter member of the Tyrann Mathieu fan club

by WatsonTiger on Dec 29, 2010 7:20 PM EST reply actions  

What a dick.

You get called for roughing the passer, then raise your arms to the crowd and do a little pump?

Fuck Illinois.

My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.

by jonfmorse on Dec 29, 2010 7:20 PM EST reply actions  

In fairness

that was a pretty weak roughing the passer penalty.

by Charles UF on Dec 29, 2010 7:22 PM EST up reply actions  

Yes, we shouldn't be protecting QBs

from those late hit shots to the head. Pussies.

My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.

by jonfmorse on Dec 29, 2010 7:22 PM EST up reply actions  

I didn't see that big of a shot to the head

I think the guy that tackled him after did more damage. Heck, the next play did way more damage than either.

by Charles UF on Dec 29, 2010 7:23 PM EST up reply actions  

Jim McMahon

doesn’t remember why this would cause problems.

by Awesome Bill from Dawsonville on Dec 29, 2010 7:24 PM EST up reply actions  

Apparently Big 12 >>> Big XII.

by Erik T on Dec 29, 2010 7:20 PM EST reply actions  

And I’m feeling pretty good about hating on them in my bowl picks.

by Erik T on Dec 29, 2010 7:23 PM EST up reply actions  

Illinois is uninterested in trying to score with this opportunity. Sad face.

by Erik T on Dec 29, 2010 7:27 PM EST reply actions  

I feel like for the 5 minutes I have been home to watch this

Baylor has been doing really really well, then derping at the last second.

Is this accurate for the whole game?

by Irishjugg on Dec 29, 2010 7:29 PM EST reply actions  

Just subtract the 'really really well' part

and you’ve nailed it

The Daily Norseman
Off Tackle Empire
SB Nation Minnesota

"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 7:29 PM EST up reply actions  

Pretty much

Illinois’ o and d lines have dominated Baylor so far.

The Daily Norseman
Off Tackle Empire
SB Nation Minnesota

"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 7:30 PM EST up reply actions  

Reminds me of last night, except without a robotic QB on the other side.

by Erik T on Dec 29, 2010 7:31 PM EST up reply actions  

Missed most of the Iowa game

Or do you speak of the most dominating Tuesday night team in NFL history, the Vikings?

The Daily Norseman
Off Tackle Empire
SB Nation Minnesota

"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 7:32 PM EST up reply actions  

Iowa-Missouri was the game I meant.

by Erik T on Dec 29, 2010 7:32 PM EST up reply actions  

But the Big Ten is so slow and huge.

They can’t compete with a fast QB like RGIII and a spread offense.

by purwho on Dec 29, 2010 7:32 PM EST up reply actions  

I see someone else is sitting on the couch with a huge shit-eating grin.

by Erik T on Dec 29, 2010 7:33 PM EST up reply actions  

Me three

The Daily Norseman
Off Tackle Empire
SB Nation Minnesota

"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 7:34 PM EST up reply actions  

Hee!

Ah, ah, ah, a pirate first with a lawyer's wasted education, and himself bound by the fiendish ties of a legal disputation.

by blanx73 on Dec 30, 2010 9:17 AM EST up reply actions  

Illinois

committing some stupid penalties that are keeping Baylor alive

by Awesome Bill from Dawsonville on Dec 29, 2010 7:31 PM EST up reply actions  

They keep going for the sideline

But they only go for like 3 or 4 yards a play. Oh, redacted.

by Charles UF on Dec 29, 2010 7:29 PM EST reply actions  

Burn out the clock or try to score? I know, let’s do both!

by Erik T on Dec 29, 2010 7:31 PM EST up reply actions  

Further down the field, Scheelhause! (sp)

by Erik T on Dec 29, 2010 7:29 PM EST reply actions  

Best block that coaches can draw up:

10 dudes run at punter.

Way to go commentator. Make it sound complicated

by Irishjugg on Dec 29, 2010 7:30 PM EST reply actions  

SOUTHER SPEEEEEED! Drink!

by Erik T on Dec 29, 2010 7:32 PM EST reply actions  

LOL

The Daily Norseman
Off Tackle Empire
SB Nation Minnesota

"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 7:33 PM EST up reply actions  

wtf is this.

Don’t fair catch the thing with 20 seconds left in the half down 16. Run that shit and try to house it?

by Irishjugg on Dec 29, 2010 7:35 PM EST reply actions  

RUN IT OUT!!

Why take a knee?

The Daily Norseman
Off Tackle Empire
SB Nation Minnesota

"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 7:35 PM EST reply actions  

Um

What kind of bitch ass returner doesn’t try to run that back? Just “meh not feelin it”

by Irishjugg on Dec 29, 2010 7:35 PM EST reply actions  

Coach Zook, what adjustments are you going to make?

Gonna hit the tanning bed and a quick teeth sheening.

Derrrp.

The Daily Norseman
Off Tackle Empire
SB Nation Minnesota

"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 7:37 PM EST reply actions  

Gene Chizik rocking the Hell's Angels look on the halftime show

How the fuck did Auburn go undefeated?

The Daily Norseman
Off Tackle Empire
SB Nation Minnesota

"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 7:38 PM EST reply actions  

I admit it

I switched to roundball for halftime. It’s my alma mater.

To be fair, I dont know if we are going to win, are favored, are good, who is on our team..

by Irishjugg on Dec 29, 2010 7:38 PM EST reply actions  

roundball loving roommate made me watch NBA last night

Wtf is this “stopping the person with the ball” shit I see going on in this hurr college game?

by Irishjugg on Dec 29, 2010 7:40 PM EST up reply actions  

Any fatherly advice you gave to Cam Newton, coach Chizik?

Yeah, I advised him to diversify his portfolio and not to blow all the under the table money on hookers and blow.

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by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 7:41 PM EST reply actions  

odds that he diversifies with:

a blinged out watch, lexus, and a pink and silver suit 8 button suit?

by Irishjugg on Dec 29, 2010 7:42 PM EST up reply actions  

There's no gambling at Bushwood, sir, and I never slice

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by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 7:47 PM EST up reply actions  

Once again the conservative sandwich-heavy portfolio pays of for the hungry investor!

by Erik T on Dec 29, 2010 7:42 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Arizona must be following this game with interest. Big XII looks horrific so far this season.

by Erik T on Dec 29, 2010 7:45 PM EST reply actions  

"You gotta remember

Thyracuthe playth really well at Yankthee Thtadium."

Really, Lou? Really, they do?

My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.

by jonfmorse on Dec 29, 2010 7:50 PM EST reply actions  

Yeth

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"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 7:51 PM EST up reply actions  

That retarded old coot has a job paying six figures

and I’m unemployed. As they say, justice is drunk.

My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.

by jonfmorse on Dec 29, 2010 7:52 PM EST up reply actions  

Seriously Good Blog you have there

Just bookmarked it. I’ll be a regular reader.

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by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 7:57 PM EST up reply actions  

Bookmarked

Lotsa folks don’t realize that lower division quality of play is just as good, and sometimes better than, FBS stuff. FBS athletes are frequently kinda dumb in a football sense but can more than compensate through their athletic ability.

I like to get drunk and yell at people on the internet

by Old South on Dec 29, 2010 9:42 PM EST up reply actions  

No, I didn't.

That’s pretty much exactly how he pronounced it. Never assume someone misspelled something when quoting Dr. Lou.

My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.

by jonfmorse on Dec 29, 2010 7:52 PM EST up reply actions  

it's funny

because they play at the polo grounds

Every 14 Seconds. Early, Often, And Without Remorse. WTD.
Charter member of the Tyrann Mathieu fan club

by WatsonTiger on Dec 29, 2010 7:52 PM EST up reply actions  

lolololol

“Ladies and gentleman you have just witnessed history” followed by clips from this game.

disingenuousness is disingenuous

by Irishjugg on Dec 29, 2010 7:57 PM EST reply actions  

Robert Griffin III

has looked more like Thurston Howell III so far.

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by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 7:58 PM EST reply actions  

Hmmmm

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"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 8:01 PM EST up reply actions  

Are you suggesting

that Bruce has been sending illicit photos to Holly’s cell phone?

/preparestohandoutbleach

My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.

by jonfmorse on Dec 29, 2010 8:05 PM EST up reply actions  

Anything making fun of that slimy program gets a wreck

GTFO black kettle

I like to get drunk and yell at people on the internet

by Old South on Dec 29, 2010 9:43 PM EST up reply actions  

Gah homophone'd

I like to get drunk and yell at people on the internet

by Old South on Dec 29, 2010 9:44 PM EST up reply actions  

Wow, big time run by Leshoure for the score

Nice cutback and dive for the pylon

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by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 8:03 PM EST reply actions  

This is just ugly.

by Erik T on Dec 29, 2010 8:03 PM EST up reply actions  

Wow, why go for two?

Oh, because Leshoure can walk in. That’s why.

Good call Zooker.

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"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 8:04 PM EST reply actions  

24 is a regular football score. I thought it was a surprisingly smart call.

Baylor has no interest in tackling Leshoure.

by Erik T on Dec 29, 2010 8:05 PM EST up reply actions  

I see the point

but if Baylor can come back and get to 20, then a FG would give them the lead. I’ve never been a fan of going for two if you’re ahead just to get a ‘more traditional’ football score, because when you miss it seems teams that do that always end up losing by a point.

But hey, it worked. I’m just being a douchey stick in the mud.

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"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 8:08 PM EST up reply actions  

Yeah, but the path to 20 is unlikely in less than a half of football. Happens all the time over a whole game, but four scoring drives has to be considered less likely than three.

by Erik T on Dec 29, 2010 8:09 PM EST up reply actions  

Fair enough

And at this rate, Baylor looks like they’ll be lucky enough to score, much less get to 20.

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"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 8:10 PM EST up reply actions  

I have to be a bitch

and point out that of the 12 bowl games so far, maybe two of them have been as interesting as Mount Union/Whitewater VI.

My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.

by jonfmorse on Dec 29, 2010 8:06 PM EST reply actions  

Completely agree. This is completely uninteresting.

by Erik T on Dec 29, 2010 8:07 PM EST up reply actions  

Come to think of it

UMD/Delta State fits in the slot, too. The NAIA title game was a bit of a turd, but only because I find extremely low-scoring defensive football to be mind-numbing. It’s not that they played a shitty game, it’s just that it was boring.

My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.

by jonfmorse on Dec 29, 2010 8:11 PM EST up reply actions  

Wao

“Baylor gets its initial first down of the game..”

Remember when I said it looked like they were doing fine?

That comment hereby Zooked

by Irishjugg on Dec 29, 2010 8:11 PM EST reply actions  

Does this feel too late too matter to anyone else?

by Erik T on Dec 29, 2010 8:12 PM EST reply actions  

Not really.

Baylor IS capable of putting a ton of points on the board in a big hurry. If they can force some quick outs, this could become a ball game by the end of the quarter.

My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.

by jonfmorse on Dec 29, 2010 8:13 PM EST up reply actions  

I’d like that. I don’t think it’s likely. Leshoure needs to stop running people the fuck over first.

by Erik T on Dec 29, 2010 8:14 PM EST up reply actions  

No

never underestimate the power of the Zooker to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. He lost to Minnesota at home, after all.

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"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 8:14 PM EST up reply actions  

I’m well aware! I cried afterwards. But that was a competitive game throughout; this… hasn’t been.

by Erik T on Dec 29, 2010 8:15 PM EST up reply actions  

Do you suppose Goodell said to Favre

“I know you are a lying sack of shit, but you have kept the NFL going for like 60 years, so here’s your fine”

by Boatdrinks on Dec 29, 2010 8:12 PM EST reply actions  

Didn't know Gene SImmons was a Packers fan

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"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 8:15 PM EST up reply actions  

This young man

is engaging in entirely too much frivolity to be acceptable at Baylor’s upstanding and moral campus.

/davebliss’d

My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.

by jonfmorse on Dec 29, 2010 8:16 PM EST up reply actions  

Nicolas Cage IN The Witch Movie

“HOW’D SHE GET BURNED HOW’D SHE GET BURNED?”

The Susquehanna Hat Company killed my father!

by Donovan Hamstain on Dec 29, 2010 8:16 PM EST reply actions  

Leshoure is all like

“I can haz a first down”
and Baylor is all like
“NO…yes”

by Irishjugg on Dec 29, 2010 8:18 PM EST reply actions  

Baylor's defense is horrid

I mean, I knew they were bad, but man.

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"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 8:18 PM EST reply actions  

Big XII rush defenses look sad. Imagine Wisconsin. Then be extra sad.

by Erik T on Dec 29, 2010 8:19 PM EST up reply actions  

I don't know how TCU will handle Wisconsin

That’s a seriously unenviable foe to go up against.

by Charles UF on Dec 29, 2010 8:21 PM EST up reply actions  

I don't know how Wisconsin will handle TCU, either.

The matchup on the line in that game when Wisconsin has the ball is very, very interesting.

My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.

by jonfmorse on Dec 29, 2010 8:23 PM EST up reply actions  

That wouldn't be sad as much

as it would be a state of official mourning.

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"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 8:21 PM EST up reply actions  

They gave up 42 to Kansas State

and this was before Snyder decided to experiment with a quarterback who can actually move his legs.

My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.

by jonfmorse on Dec 29, 2010 8:20 PM EST up reply actions  

I smell a Baylor rally coming on

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"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 8:20 PM EST reply actions  

Smells like...

Illini tears.

mmmmmmmm yummy

by Irishjugg on Dec 29, 2010 8:21 PM EST up reply actions  

Looks like...

red x to me.

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"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 8:23 PM EST up reply actions  

Reason 6,111

as to why I have no business prognosticating.

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"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 8:26 PM EST up reply actions  

Not prime!

6,111 = 2,037 × 3!

My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.

by jonfmorse on Dec 29, 2010 8:29 PM EST up reply actions  

Math FAIL

You owe me a piece of pi.

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"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 8:30 PM EST up reply actions  

For some reason

the quick and dirty “is a number prime?” test has always stuck in my head.

Is it greater than one? Is it even? If you add the digits up and repeat until you reduce to a single digit, do you get 3, 6, or 9? Does it end in a 0 or 5? Is it a palindrome? If the answers to any of these questions are “yes”, it ain’t prime, GTFO.

My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.

by jonfmorse on Dec 29, 2010 8:33 PM EST up reply actions  

I was told there would be no math.

by purwho on Dec 29, 2010 8:30 PM EST up reply actions  

This is a mindless thread roughly associated with football

How could you NOT know there would be math?

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"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 8:31 PM EST up reply actions  

He needs time to recover

from four years of mathmathmathmathmath.

My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.

by jonfmorse on Dec 29, 2010 8:34 PM EST up reply actions  

Although

I don’t know why you’d do math for four years in an apartment in West Lafayette for no good reason whatsoever.

My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.

by jonfmorse on Dec 29, 2010 8:36 PM EST up reply actions  

Let's not go overboard.

They’re still a Big East team, after all.

/tryingnottoworryabouttomorrow

My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.

by jonfmorse on Dec 29, 2010 8:25 PM EST up reply actions  

sorry! I am just happy

we might recover from the GERG era.

by Boatdrinks on Dec 29, 2010 8:27 PM EST up reply actions  

I'm just kidding.

Mostly.

But yes, it would be nice if y’all would get up off the deck. I had a good time with your people in Tempe 13 years ago. Pre-game, anyway.

My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.

by jonfmorse on Dec 29, 2010 8:28 PM EST up reply actions  

It's amazing when you think you can do better,

then you get GERG’d.
I wonder if Maryland fans will be in the same boat in five years

by Boatdrinks on Dec 29, 2010 8:29 PM EST up reply actions  

Let's see how OKSt does against Arizona

If Arizona houses them, I might advance my sense of wonder.

by Alaska Hokie on Dec 29, 2010 8:26 PM EST up reply actions  

They'd have an easier time since they're so fast...

but those damn obese B1G Ten defenders take up the whole field with their fat slowness.

by purwho on Dec 29, 2010 8:34 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

You say obese, fat slowness

I say “gravity well”.

Ah, ah, ah, a pirate first with a lawyer's wasted education, and himself bound by the fiendish ties of a legal disputation.

by blanx73 on Dec 30, 2010 9:19 AM EST up reply actions  

aww no fair

i kinda like him when he’s not doing retarded espn stuff

VIEW HALLOO!

by broski on Dec 29, 2010 9:17 PM EST up reply actions  

If Baylor's receivers are so much better than the Illini defensive backs

why are they repeatedly called for offensive pass interference?

Riddle me that, Batman.

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by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 8:39 PM EST reply actions  

I think the answer is clear

Big 12 refs don’t call offensive PI.

My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.

by jonfmorse on Dec 29, 2010 8:40 PM EST up reply actions  

Hey, that bubble screen hasn't worked all night

let’s run it again.

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"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 8:43 PM EST reply actions  

getting to the math question

Baylor needs 17 unanswered points to make this interesting

by Boatdrinks on Dec 29, 2010 8:43 PM EST reply actions  

Make that 11

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"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 8:44 PM EST up reply actions  

Hello

My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.

by jonfmorse on Dec 29, 2010 8:43 PM EST reply actions  

Zook challenged that?

Of course he did. What a dope

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"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 8:46 PM EST reply actions  

does anyone else want to punch their tv?

Coach Redacted on the screen is making me want to break things.

by Chloe Denmark on Dec 29, 2010 8:46 PM EST reply actions  

And Mikel Leshoure as a RB

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"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 8:52 PM EST up reply actions  

Indeed

That might just be enough.

by Charles UF on Dec 29, 2010 8:52 PM EST up reply actions  

Fo realz. How did we stop him with Kevin fucking Cosgrove?

by Erik T on Dec 29, 2010 8:52 PM EST up reply actions  

Batlor can't stop the run

so of course Illinois decides it’s a good time to start passing the ball.

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"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 8:55 PM EST reply actions  

The bottom of a fumble scrum

is where manners go to die.

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"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 8:58 PM EST reply actions  

PUNT DERP?

No. The Fighting Zooks invoke the magic horseshoe.

by uscjd2004 on Dec 29, 2010 8:58 PM EST reply actions  

But only because RMK

is not “rat-faced” or “little”.

My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.

by jonfmorse on Dec 29, 2010 9:03 PM EST up reply actions  

Welp.

Looks like I’m about to be out 30 points.

My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.

by jonfmorse on Dec 29, 2010 9:04 PM EST reply actions  

I don't know, they got back to running the ball

and they’re in the red zone.

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"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 9:05 PM EST up reply actions  

The play action pass was down right risky though

Even though it did exactly what it was supposed to.

by Charles UF on Dec 29, 2010 9:06 PM EST up reply actions  

Not if you set it up by piss pounding the rock between the tackles

Which is exactly what they did. I didn’t understand the previous series, but this was a good drive.

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"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 9:08 PM EST up reply actions  

And....a TD score.

I love how everything Michael Irvin says sounds like an NCAA recruiting violation.

by Super C on Dec 29, 2010 9:06 PM EST up reply actions  

Ball game

Thanks for coming, folks. Drive safely, and will the last one leaving reliant stadium please turn out the lights?

The Daily Norseman
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"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 9:06 PM EST reply actions  

SO MUCH NON REDACTED

orson is going to go crazy

VIEW HALLOO!

by broski on Dec 29, 2010 9:18 PM EST reply actions  

SIGHHH throw a flag!

Not cause that was PI, but because I wanted competitiveness

by Irishjugg on Dec 29, 2010 9:19 PM EST reply actions  

shittttt

Anyone live in dallas and want to make about 100 bucks for 2 hours work?

by Irishjugg on Dec 29, 2010 9:22 PM EST reply actions  

Does "work"

involve sitting at a desk and commenting on EDSBS while I should be configuring servers?

My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.

by jonfmorse on Dec 29, 2010 9:26 PM EST up reply actions  

Nothing good has ever come from Durant.

And Dennis Rodman lived there for four years.

My new blog: Those Other Guys. Critiques welcome.

by jonfmorse on Dec 29, 2010 9:28 PM EST up reply actions  

Choctaw casino

I am a pro/semi pro poker player on the side, and theres some WSOP shit goin on

by Irishjugg on Dec 29, 2010 9:28 PM EST up reply actions  

How are those things?

I always wanted to get in a satellite at Winstar, but never could find the time

by Larsonist on Dec 29, 2010 9:32 PM EST up reply actions  

the WSOP circuit events are cheap

and super super easy.

Decent structures too, considering.

by Irishjugg on Dec 29, 2010 9:53 PM EST up reply actions  

And that makes it ugly.

by Erik T on Dec 29, 2010 9:23 PM EST reply actions  

ZOOK SHOWER!

I love how everything Michael Irvin says sounds like an NCAA recruiting violation.

by Super C on Dec 29, 2010 9:24 PM EST reply actions  

Scheelhaase was more alone

than an introvert on that score.

The Daily Norseman
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"A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

by Ted Glover on Dec 29, 2010 9:25 PM EST reply actions  

Awesome emptiness of the stadium as the game ended.

by Erik T on Dec 29, 2010 9:29 PM EST reply actions  

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