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Around SBN: Hulk to Chelsea FC: Yes or No?

35 FOR 35: THE MAACO LAS VEGAS BOWL AND CAT EATING CONTEST

Two teams dumped like so many mafioso bodies in the desert: that is the Maaco Las Vegas Bowl, where like all other ruined dreams the seasons of the Utah Utes and the Boise State Broncos end up mozying up and down the Las Vegas Strip. Kyle Brotzman, step away from the blackjack table. WE REPEAT: YOU CANNOT WIN THIS BACK AND YOU ARE NOT ON THE VERGE OF A HOT STREAK.

What's ruined stays ruined, but Job and Gary Busey and every other real survivor never let that stand in the way of a good time. Partying in the ashes is the theme for today's podcast, as Utah and Boise State players seem to be bound and determined to make the best of a bad situation by winning cat-eating contests, engaging in chest-thumping bouts at the Hard Rock over New School Cirque du Soleil versus Old School Cirque ("Scary clown ringmaster, WHAT?"), and playing out the string in a determined and vigorous fashion at the glorified high school stadium with Sam Boyd's name on it. As long as we keep Kyle Brotzman away from the Russian Roulette Room at the Bellagio, everyone should be just fine.*

*John Daly's won quite a bit of money in that room. He's also taken three shots to the head, but that ain't nothing but a sinus cold with its own porthole for ol' Johnnypants.

The podcast is here, or you may listen below.

 

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I think Kyle Brotzman could use some of Toni's "Unbreak My Heart"

Though Tom Rinaldi is always there to kiss away his tears.

/creepiestandcrappiestESPNcorrespondentatthesametime

"You're just a man in a room with a checkbook."

by The Ghost of Brodie Croyle's Knees on Dec 22, 2010 12:36 PM EST reply actions  

Mermaids

Isn’t that greek for “House of Broken Dreams”

I’m mildly disturbed that even someone with a blogger-budget would end up there. There’s no reason for that to ever happen BUTTHEYHAVESADDLESEATS!!!! WEEEEEE HORSIES

falls off saddle seat into pool of icehouse vomit

(this may or may not be a true story)

by vegas_buckeye on Dec 22, 2010 12:42 PM EST reply actions  

Oh yeah a couple of things

1) Utah’s jersey manufacturer/sponsor is Under Armour
2) the jersey’s they wore for the TCU game were part of Under Armour’s promotion of the Wounded Warrior Project
3) My money is on Wayne Newton playing at the concert

Dean of Auburn Institute for Exploding Dog Studies

THE Oscar Whiskey

by Oscar Whiskey on Dec 22, 2010 12:45 PM EST reply actions  

Boyz to Men

is the obvious answer for the concert as we already know there’re in town.

I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever
-Mark Twain

Also, Fuck Clemson.

by Gamecock2002 on Dec 22, 2010 1:00 PM EST reply actions  

NOTRE DAME IS 7-5 DAMMIT

DON’T YOU TAKE THAT USC WIN AWAY FROM ME!!!

"Ah, that's repulsive, that's repugnant, that's recorrigible, that's retragnicent. These aren't even words. These aren't even wo...what am I saying, I don't even know. I can't go on, I can't go on anymore, make it stop." ~ Puppet Michael Floyd

by stempke on Dec 22, 2010 1:25 PM EST reply actions  

6-5.

You beat a team that doesn’t exist.

by purwho on Dec 22, 2010 1:29 PM EST up reply actions  

Better than losing to one

"Ah, that's repulsive, that's repugnant, that's recorrigible, that's retragnicent. These aren't even words. These aren't even wo...what am I saying, I don't even know. I can't go on, I can't go on anymore, make it stop." ~ Puppet Michael Floyd

by stempke on Dec 22, 2010 1:35 PM EST up reply actions  

Dialing up the Hamster Phone

. . . has got to be a euphemism for something.

Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!

by DevilGrad on Dec 22, 2010 1:51 PM EST reply actions  

"Dialing up the Hamster Phone" =

“rusty trombone” in Idaho

I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever
-Mark Twain

Also, Fuck Clemson.

by Gamecock2002 on Dec 22, 2010 2:08 PM EST up reply actions  

or it could be a thinly disguised reference to

felching

I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever
-Mark Twain

Also, Fuck Clemson.

by Gamecock2002 on Dec 22, 2010 3:59 PM EST up reply actions  

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