THE CURIOUS INDEX, 12/2/2010

CAM CAM CAM CAM CAM CAM CAM. CAM? CAM.

"No comment on that."

CAM MORE CAM CAM CAM CAM. Cam's eligibility announcement yesterday provoked a cavalcade of variously equipped and ept replies. Andy Staples points out the gaping loophole the eligibility ruling opens up , which we encourage everyone to use in the short interim while plausible deniability is still a valid excuse. (Corrupt uncles, your day has arrived.) Dan Wetzel has Sonny Vaccaro saying the same thing, and if you now who Sonny Vaccaro is, then you know this is like the Green River Killer saying he thinks you'd look great in passenger's seat of his car. Doc Saturday is circumspect as always; Clay Travis talks with Mike Slive about the ruling, and whoo boy that's a lot of legalese.

MEANWHILE IN AUBURN: Any excuse for celebratory vandalism will do, thank you very much.

MIKE LEACH THINKS HE'D BE AN AMAZING FIT ANYWHERE, ACTUALLY. He'd work at Minnesota. Or at Miami. Or wherever, man. Pirates have maps for a reason: they go anywhere.

GORDON GEE WOULD LIKE TO REMIND YOU HE LOOKS LIKE A FAMOUS CORPORATE BRAND. tOSU's President Gordon Gee is backing off his prior comments about Boise State playing "the Little Sisters of the Poor," and admits he knows nothing about football.

"I'm very blessed to have the best athletic director and best football coach in the country," Gee said. "They run the athletic program and I run the university, and I should have stayed out of there. What I should do is go over to the surgical suites and get my foot extricated from my mouth.

"What do I know about college football? I look like Orville Redenbacher. I have no business talking about college football."

 

He then went on to tout his expertise in redecorating offices, and unveiled the globe--bar that opened to reveal a godlike array of alcohols and mixers. My god, do we need one of those, but with the countries labeled incorrectly and prejudicially.

ALABAMA FANS WILL BE TOTALLY FINE WITH THIS. Jim McElwain is a candidate for the Colorado job, which would be fine with Alabama fans after watching McElwain take Trent Richardson and Mark Ingram in the backfield and instead turn this year into Greg McElroy's star turn. STOP COMPLAINING HE'S NOT THE LUPUS OF OFFENSE AKA STEVE ADDAZIO AAAHHHH GOD WE HATE HIM LIKE ARTUR BORUC HATES CORN. His views on homosexuality are unknown.

SORRY ABOUT THE ABOMINATION THING. The next time Bill McCartney, who also seriously is a candidate for the Colorado job and whose views on teh gayz are known,  says that homosexuality is an abomination before God, he'll make sure not to do it wearing a Colorado hat. The God of Gays says it's cool, Bill, since he's the forgiving sort. You know we're referring to Tim Gunn when we say "God of Gays," and that he is immortal and simply terrified of that horrendous pair of pants you're wearing. (Talk about unforgivable.)

Tony Dungy is appalled by all of this, and reminds you that it gets worse.

YOU GET A NETWORK! AND YOU GET A NETWORK. If this is true, the Big 12 is going to end up being the Hanseatic Broadcast League of college football. (Via.)

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