A SURVEY OF RC SLOCUM'S HALL OF CASUAL COACHING PHOTOS

We were sent these last night by Stephen, Clint, and Doug. They're on Deadspin today, but it would be a shame to just let them fall into Slideshow Hell without some minimal but necessary commentary. R.C. Slocum's spirit name is Hank Chill, the show named after him is King of the Chill, and his Facebook page is the source. 

 

STEVE SPURRIER AND MULTIPLE HORRIBLE PATTERNS MEET RC SLOCUM'S ACID WASH ELASTIC WAISTBAND

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You my forget the horror of the late 1980s and early 1990s, but some of us remember. Oh, how we remember the acid wash, the collarless shirts, the horrendous button-downs, and the billowing fronts of pants with no fewer than five hundred pleats across the front. Someone told fat men this was "slimming." Someone in the fashion industry makes fat men look they wear a belt of muffins around their genitals.

The obvious eye will drift here to Spurrier's clashing patterns. The connoisseur can't stop staring at RC Slocum's jeans, also known as "The reason, if there were no others, Texas A&M fired him." Your mother used to wear those. Denying it only makes us doubt you more. 

BROS 4 LIFE

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"I don't look high, do I?"

"Naw, Mack. You look chill."

"What about me, Matt?"

"Little paranoid, Darrell."

"I'll let you in on a little secret. I made the wishbone one day after a little reefer I smoked with Screamin' Jay Hawkins."

"Really?"

"Yup. Named it that because I was jonesin' for some chicken."

"That's amazing, Darrell. Say cheese!"

"Cheese"

SNAP

"I'm hungry."

"Let's go eat Bob Toledo."

"I'm not that hungry, Matt."

"We'll see about that. Hey, Bob!"

 

THAT'S THE LAST TIME I PARTY WITH MCCONAUGHEY, AKA THE NEXT MORNING

 

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I HAD TO DO THIS IN THE MARIANAS WITH MY OLD BOSS FERDINAND MAGELLAN

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I DON'T UNDERSTAND----

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