THE CURIOUS INDEX, 12/1/2010

THIS IS BLACK AND WHITE FOOTAGE FOR A REASON. It may as well be, as it is assault, and that's usually viewed on grainy black and white footage. 

This is posted to provide some context to Greg McElroy's fastest middle finger ever, a gesture shot with a release speed that may have improved his draft prospects to fourth round status. McElroy will not be fired for his gesture, both because he is technically not a professional like Cam Newton and therefore does not technically have a job*, and because the only people who pay for playful taunting at Alabama are the poor part-time PA operators. 

*We now just see Auburn's growing professionalism as a kind of Office Space scenario, but with football players as the office drones and Chizik as Lundberg. He'd wear a blue oxford with a white collar. Malzahn is Peter, and is about to unscrew the front panel from his cubicle and leave; Trooper Taylor is the O-face guy.

I THINK I'D DO A GREAT JOB, iF I MAY SAY SO MYSELF. Mike Leach unleashed on the ACC is a spectacular vision, something Mike Leach thinks would be a great idea if Mike Leach may answer the question you did not ask Mike Leach. The pirate has never been unashamed about doing his own PR work, and continues to do so in openly campaigning for the Miami job.

"They could hire me and we'd have one decade after another of success with students that graduate and don't get into trouble," said Leach, "or they can hire somebody else."

Leach would make what Stanford did to Wake Forest look like minor assault, but the thought of the possibly alien coach walking into the worst neighborhoods in Overtown to recruit is...is awesome. Go ahead and hire him and make this world closer to the mad paradise it is in our mind. 

WATCH THIS AND DO NOT VOMIT ON KEYBOARD. The agent/student/indoor sunglass-wearer who got Dillon Baxter suspended for the Oregon State game is a horrible human being. Sometimes, he and his housemates sometimes release their evening's catch of ladies into the apartment all at once, and they must take a pedestrian journey of ignominy in egress from said apartment, and LO THE LAUGHTER BECAUSE THOUGH WOMEN DO NOT ENJOY OR NEED SEX, THEY HAVE WITH THEIR MASCULINE WILES HOODWINKED THEM INTO PERFORMING THE VERY ACT THEY DESPISE! 

Other than being horrible and stupid, seems like a chill bro.

NEVADA IS SO HARD THEY SAY KEEP THEM DOLLARS. Nevada may have lost a substantial sum of money by beating Boise, but shhh, Chris Ault ain't hearin' that. He invented an offense called the "Pistol." You think a gangsta like that cares about seven figures in the name of defeat? Pause, please.

SPEAKING OF KYLE BROTZMAN: Bois' piece on kickers makes special mention of Boise's kicker in discussing the unique misery of being a kicker.

IF HIS PHONE ACTUALLY SAYS GUSTAV THAT WOULD BE INSANE. Even if he's not really getting "G-6" references from his daughter, it's like the Leach-to-Miami parallel universe in that we desperately want it to be true. It bears repeating: one of the great joys in watching the Alabama/Auburn game was watching Gus Malzahn go toe-to-toe with Saban and Smart and come out a step ahead much of the time. (Even when it didn't work,.)

CERTAINLY WORTHY OF DISOWNAGE: More the lack of tolerance than the school affiliation, but still.

WE'RE STILL SIFTING THROUGH THE WRECKAGE. And the wreckage is deep, oh, so very deep.

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