SOO-EEEY BABY
by Spencer Hall on Nov 29, 2010 12:05 PM EST
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PrintRyan Mallett ends up in women's swimwear here. Answer as to why: these things happen in New Orleans, and because he's got the figure to pull it off.
All right stop
Let's pump fake and listen
Mallett's back with a brand new invention
HOGGETTES--they grab a hold of me tightly
Family arm stroked daily and nightly
WILL IT EVER STOP?
No, and hell no
BP and R-Mall bring the whole show
If there was a defense yo I'll bomb it
My money cartoonish like Wallace and Grommit
SOO-EEEY BABY
(dum dum dum dum duhduhduh dum)
SOO-EEEY BABY
(dum dum dum dum duhduhduh dum)
PANTS! They goin down like wackass emcees
I'm losin' my jeans like endangered species
DEADLY! When I'm yellin' out Bingo
Anything less than Knile Davis is a Wingo
Pass it or run it, Petrino don't play
Talking to his agent while we scorin' on the fade
If there was a raise, you know he's in it
Respect the game, cause Jimmy Sexton gonna win it.
SOO-EEY BABY
(dum dum dum dum duhduhduh dum)
SOO-EEY BABY
(dum dum dum dum duhduhduh dum)
Now that the Hawgs are KILLIN'
To the Sugar Bowl we roll and then Hand Grenades we spillin'
Quick to the post, you know we no fakin'
The Buckeyes be the nuts but we only eat bacon
Burnin' em, if you ain't quick and nimble
The Buckeyes' speed, it fits in a thimble
Or a PRYOR--he got some ears like a big shim
I'm on a roll, it's time to Troy Smith him
TROLLIN' on a message board
Don't got the SEC cause Cam Newton got whored
DBs on standby, waitin' just to get fried
Did y'all stop? NO WE JUST PASSED BY
Kept on play-action to the draft cause I would
Threw a ball through a man just to see if if could
That dude got dead,
SO WE CONTINUED TO PLAY OUR GAME-- ST. CHARLES AVENUE
Girls were hot, Mallett in bikini
Family arm lovers killin' playas like Todd, Sweeney
JEALOUS
Cause I'm out gettin mine
Wearin' a bikini cause the Family Arm is fine
Knile's in a dress, I'm in the t-back
Owning them bitches like my name was Sweet Sweetback
Chumps screaming out, "Why you wearin' a bikini"
I grabbed my drink, don't care if they see me
FALLIN'--cause we had a million drinks man
Realize I'm in a two-piece and a playa can't stand
SO DRUNK--Mallett's in lady's swimwear
Just won the Sugar, twenty mil in the draft so I don't care
Bumper to bumper, the Quarter is packed
Don't give a fuck about the getup cause the Mallett is stacked
POLICE ON THE SCENE--the muggin' is mean
Don't care cause a Mallett gettin' rings like I'm benzene
Takin' off my top in the quarter cause that thing itch
Kick off the hook cause I'm gonna be rich, bitch.
SOO-EEEY BABY
(dum dum dum dum duhduhduh dum)
SOOO-EEY BABY
(dum dum dum dum duhduhduh dum)
Take heed--disregard the last verse yo
Denying all charges of cross-dressin' cause my agent's gettin' stressed, tho
HOUSTON--his schemes are striclty duplo
Bobby come in and the Hawgs go lego
Conducted and formed, it's a hell of a concept
Left Michigan, and now I'm gonna step
to DRAFT TIME--can't get here too soon
Meet the commish and I throw him to the moon
He says "THANK YOU"--cause he respects the power
Get them ladies clingin' to the one and five
I'm a quarterback fiend tryin' to stay alive
If there was a red zone yo I'd own it
Pick up the pieces cause your defense I pwn it
SOO-EEEY BABY
(dum dum dum dum duhduhduh dum)
SOO-EEEY BABY
(dum dum dum dum duhduhduh dum)
Yo, man let's get out of here.
Michigan fans? GERG TO YOUR MOTHER.
SOO-EEEY BABY
(dum dum dum dum duhduhduh dum)
SOO-EEEY BABY
(dum dum dum dum duhduhduh dum)
SOO-EEEY BABY
(dum dum dum dum duhduhduh dum)
(dum dum dum dum duhduhduh dum)
FIN
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JESUS. CHRIST.
_________________
I'm Banana dammit!!!
by BurritoBrosShits on Nov 29, 2010 12:06 PM EST reply actions
E X C E L L E N C E
Remember the Maine!
by CoastalCowbell on Nov 29, 2010 12:09 PM EST reply actions
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
by Sasquatch Love on Nov 29, 2010 1:30 PM EST up reply actions
Oh MY.
But shouldn’t it be “dum dum dum dum duhduhDITduh dum?”
See, they’re not the same.
And “Duplo” is the best metaphor I’ve ever heard for Houston Nutt’s coaching acumen.
by Big Jon on Nov 29, 2010 12:14 PM EST reply actions 15 recs
David Bowie rec'd this
"I don't wear no Stetson..."
by Gen. Stoopnagle on Nov 29, 2010 2:00 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
wow.
i thought i was the only one that remembered that inane Ice explanation.
bravo sir, bravo.
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
by Sasquatch Love on Nov 29, 2010 2:10 PM EST up reply actions
This is what it's like
having a roni.
by Infield Elephant on Nov 29, 2010 12:18 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
Obligatory with Gucci reference
BRRRRRRRRR
Because college football is too important to be left to the professionals.
by Spencer Hall on Nov 29, 2010 12:19 PM EST up reply actions
Paul Wall & Chamillionaire - N Love With My Money
for Newton instead?
by Oscar Whiskey on Nov 29, 2010 12:28 PM EST up reply actions
"SO DRUNK"
Simply stunning
"A kilo of cocaine would not be considered a 'modest amount'" - The Boston Police Department
Hmm.
Loves big asses and Drank. References blackspoitation classics and cartoons. From the ATL. Got a white woman pregnant. Orson, you sure you’re not black? Because, DAMN, SON. You spit hot fiyah.
by Tracer Bullet on Nov 29, 2010 12:28 PM EST reply actions 6 recs
I read through this entire masterpiece expecting great rumbling of bass
The fat man never came…
The fat man never came!
Call Kenny Loggins, 'cause you're in the danger zone
Just wait for the remix
"A kilo of cocaine would not be considered a 'modest amount'" - The Boston Police Department
by Publius2010 on Nov 29, 2010 12:30 PM EST up reply actions
I had a Chris Rainey as Eminem post on tap
now I’m glad I didn’t post it.
Weoejuwejhdjwe!
by Chekhov's Spread Gun Option on Nov 29, 2010 12:28 PM EST reply actions
That should say "fanpost"
or it could say HOLY FUCK I HAVE A FOUR HOUR FINAL IN 30 MINUTES WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK
Weoejuwejhdjwe!
by Chekhov's Spread Gun Option on Nov 29, 2010 12:29 PM EST up reply actions
99% of my college learnin'
transpired in the 30 minutes immediately prior to exams
by little red corvette on Nov 29, 2010 12:55 PM EST up reply actions
Anything less than Knile Davis is a Wingo
Classic, Spencer; just a classic.
A Hoops Fan Lost in the Wilderness Since 1995.
I have no doubt
that Mallett has that rag top insured with AllState
by Bunkie Perkins on Nov 29, 2010 12:29 PM EST reply actions
DINORIDERS!
rec’d for invoking childhood nostalgia
by Oscar Whiskey on Nov 29, 2010 12:38 PM EST up reply actions
cosigned
Call Kenny Loggins, 'cause you're in the danger zone
by Danger Zone on Nov 29, 2010 12:41 PM EST up reply actions
"Respect the game, cause Jimmy Sexton gonna win it."
Probably the truest rhyme of them all – unfortunately. That motherfucker…
More EDSBS Gold...
…good work referencing the depth chart and Wheel Route master Wingo.
I’m shocked that there wasn’t ‘Greg Childs? Please’ reference at the end or as a prologue, or just worked in there somewhere.
This should get me through until Finebaum
Of course then we’ll have the signpost of COTG to guide us in our journey
Call Kenny Loggins, 'cause you're in the danger zone
No, no no,
It’s pillar of CLOUD by DAY, pillar of FIRE by NIGHT/weekend requiring generous application of Four Loko or just straight rubbing alcohol.
"...when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to."
— Martin Luther
That's a pillar of fire AND cloud at the same time
COTG is multitasking these days. Why else would he have given us daisycutters?
Call Kenny Loggins, 'cause you're in the danger zone
I know next to nothing about explosives.
Googling “daisycutter” from my church laptop was one of the more harrowing experiences of my day…
"...when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to."
— Martin Luther
Wallace and Gromit
. . . will drink to that. + 100 cocktails, sir.
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
Freakin' copyright lawyas
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
by DevilGrad on Nov 29, 2010 12:55 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
HEYWHO GOT A SCANTRON FOR RYAN MALLET
WHO GOT A SCANTRON FOR RYAN MALLETT
If you got 16, you can get a fizurth
I'm choking on that doja sweet and sipping on that sizurp
God
I wish I could have witnessed that.
by Riley Cooper's Mane on Nov 29, 2010 1:01 PM EST up reply actions
reading this in all caps immediately made me think of this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=In6SmcC4j6g
Mallett = Abe Lincoln
Now drink with me deeply of the bourbon, scotch, and rye until such time as we are fighting drunk. Then we shall find, and beat the asses of, the nonbelievers who ruined my feast.
– Alvis
Alvis bless us, everyone!!
Most people would have quit half way through this bit.
Mr. Hall is not one of these people. And we are all better for it.
I’m still disappointed that Vanilla Ice’s metal career never took off like I hoped. Someone to fill the Fred Durst sized void in all of our lives.
by quickly outdated screen name on Nov 29, 2010 1:03 PM EST reply actions
I'm embarassed to say
that Vanilla Ice may actually be re-modeling a house for some cheesy reality show in my neighborhood. Heard one of my neighbors talk about it the other day.
by SoFla Tideroller on Nov 29, 2010 4:16 PM EST up reply actions
Cue obligatory cheesy homer fan video...
Ridiculously cheesy, but honestly not the worst I’ve seen.
Also, Cam Newton would be “C.R.E.A.M.”, obviously.
He's come so far...
/sniff
Gas it, Daddy
by cowcollege on Nov 29, 2010 1:21 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
watch it, orson.
i heard suge knight wants to have a sitdown about the content of this post.
Eat what the monkey eats, then eat the monkey. -U.S. Navy survival guidance
That dude got dead
How come people don’t roll the sleeves up on their brightly colored pastel tshirts anymore? Oh how times have changed.
Gerg is one bad ass mofo who constantly gets poon and does drive bys. If nothing else a gerg is a straight Bone Thug.
by Dr. Norris Camacho on Nov 29, 2010 2:51 PM EST reply actions
The scary thing is
Mallett doesn’t look out of place as Vanilla Ice AT ALL.
"Tiger Stadium is by far the worst place to play for a visiting team. It's like being inside a drum." - Paul "Bear" Bryant
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