EDSBS'S BEST IN CLASS: WEEK 12
by Holly Anderson on Nov 22, 2010 11:27 AM EST
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PrintIn which we reward the highlights and lesser luminaries of the weekend.
SUPERSTAR! Andrew Luck, straight bitchslapping a Cal defender in our favorite hit of the weekend:
TAKE TURNS! Cal's freakish home-road splits took the night off from being more or less accurate to allow the Golden Bears a thorough manhandling in the ungentle embrace of Stanford.
TEACHER'S PET! Matt Barkley's ankle sprain means Mitch Mustain may, given the right combination of unfortunate circumstances, get the starting nod against Notre Dame and UCLA. While we find this hilarious on multiple obvious levels, we would like to go on record as cheering for the Trojans to beat two hated rivals with a second-string punter under center, for maximum madhousery.
BUSY BEES! Clearly morning the very imminent demise of the WAC, Cincinnati, South Carolina, Central Florida, and Rice (wait, what?) ran the score up over 60 in Week 12.
YOU TRIED! Stephen Morris, fledgling Miami quarterback making his third start against Virginia Tech, who wasn't actually doing all that badly before throwing three consecutive interceptions on the Hurricanes' final three possessions and clinching the division for the Hokies.
IMPROVING! Nick Fairley, who AS FAR AS WE KNOW didn't injure anybody with a football helmet on Saturday Texas, who beat FAU, yes but gave us a 7-7 first quarter to really think about what would happen if they didn't.
ADEQUATE! Field conditions at Wrigley, where no wee footballers were harmed by leafy tumbling mats, although we wonder whether this was a touchdown celebration or an attempt by a vigilant teammate to avert a crash into the endzone wall.
CREATIVE! Jeremiah Masoli, ending the Ole Miss-LSU game as he began it, with a horrendously ill-timed, momentum-shattering interception. The symmetry is breathtaking, no?
SIT STILL! Alabama, believe it or not by the boxscore, sort of had to fall over themselves to only beat hatchling Georgia State 63-7. No, we're serious. That was accomplished about as graciously as it could've been. We're as surprised as you are.
I BUMPED MY HEAD! Tommy Tuberville. Look, it's Weber State, and this year's Red Raiders could use a feel-good win, but the question remains: what business does any team of his have scoring 64 on anyone?
GOOD HELPER! Hey, check it out, Dan Hawkins! Since your unceremonious ousting, the Buffaloes have beaten two opponents whose 2010 iterations may very well have flattened them (Iowa State and now K-State). Thanks, pal!
HAND UP! Awww, c'mere, Carl Pelini. You look like you could use a hug -- WAIT NO WHAT ARE YOU DOING MY FACE MY FAAAAACE
JAUNTY POSSUMDRAGON! We didn't actually see a single minute of Pitt vs. South Florida this week, so perhaps some of you could fill us in. There have been bad games and worse games this batshit season, but we haven't seen this much vitriol directed at the quality of playing and coaching in a single game since Baby I'm Burnin'.
GRAPE JOB! Carl Moore, ejected from Florida's Week 12 game for fighting. Florida's Week 12 opponent was Appalachian State. Also, it was Senior Day. We have nothing to add.
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I hate Stanford and I hate Andrew Luck’s dumb looking face.
"Too much awesome on my feet."-Brian Wilson
"Time for the laser show, boys!"- Aubrey Huff
2010 World Series Champions San Francisco Giants
At least you could take solace in the Niner game yesterday...
oh wait.
"It's not gonna be free this time."
I gave up hope for the Niners 8 years ago.
"Too much awesome on my feet."-Brian Wilson
"Time for the laser show, boys!"- Aubrey Huff
2010 World Series Champions San Francisco Giants
just wait....
…you know the Niners might have a shot at drafting Luck if he comes out, right?
Conflict.
"'I wish to hell God would stop trying to make me a better person." - T.J. Lambert
by Signal to Noise on Nov 22, 2010 12:21 PM EST up reply actions
I would root for Jim Harbaugh if he became the 49ers coach
That’s how desperate I am at the moment concerning the 49ers.
"Too much awesome on my feet."-Brian Wilson
"Time for the laser show, boys!"- Aubrey Huff
2010 World Series Champions San Francisco Giants
"Never play Troy Smith against a team from Florida"...
only slightly less well known than “never get involved in a land war in Aisa”.
"It's not gonna be free this time."
by zzgator on Nov 22, 2010 12:49 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
It's okay
I wouldn’t start a land war with these guys either.
(Though, I suppose Arsenal may have a wine-and-cheese set of hooligans.)
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
Millwall laughs at you.
"When the seagulls follow the trawler, it's because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea"
I get the GSH reference, but as a Swansea City AFC fan I don't like Millwall.
They’re part of the reason that Cyril the Swan (Swansea’s mascot) isn’t allowed on the pitch anymore. Years ago, Swansea and Millwall had a match and the Millwall lion mascot and Cyril got into it. Cyril allegedly ripped off the lion’s head and kicked it into the stands. Allegedly.
by Never Leave College on Nov 23, 2010 10:40 AM EST up reply actions
Rec'd for "Baby I'm Burning."
That shit will NEVER get old.
My only argument is you're stupid.
by boddagettaflyer on Nov 22, 2010 11:32 AM EST reply actions
pretty sure
that Crxxm gets royalties everytime that gets a watch. Somehow.
Remember the Maine!
by CoastalCowbell on Nov 22, 2010 11:38 AM EST up reply actions
Hand up
Hand up sticker to Maryland for drawing their biggest crowd of the season. They are playing better than they have in several years and played a ranked opponent at night. They almost sold out! They only had 30,000 fewer fans than a mediocre Penn State playing a terrible Indiana earlier that day, ten miles away.
Blogging about D.C. Baseball since April '04. Penn State alum, so I blog about it too. Also partial to the Washington Capitals and the rest of the D.C. teams, plus the New York Yankees and Yale football.
Redskin Country'd
Either love your players or get out of coaching.
by Golden Hand on Nov 22, 2010 11:41 AM EST up reply actions
Banana Sticker goes to UNC
For snatching defeat from the jaws of victory against a team you haven’t beaten in four long, long years.
(Well, really, everything that happened this weekend was a disaster. My whole brain is crying right now.)
didnt mean to pile on...
but, whenever vandy’s roundball is involved, there is always the possibility of guy averaging 4.6 ppg will explode for 42 points…..
Remember the Maine!
by CoastalCowbell on Nov 22, 2010 2:24 PM EST up reply actions
It was pretty damn bad.
And this wasn’t like the end of the LSU-Tennessee game where the coaching fuck-ups were funny.
Voodoo Five - South Florida Bulls SBN Blog
The Toughest Blog in America
by Jamie DeVriend on Nov 22, 2010 11:45 AM EST up reply actions
It wasn't the worst game ever played
……..oh who am I kidding. I could play Burnout 3 24/7 for a year and not produce the carnage that Wanny and BJ Daniels served up in just 60min. I just kept thinking how much better this game would be if Joel and the bots were around.
Remember kids. FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY!!!!!! STEWART!!! WANNSTACHE!!!!
Don't blame bad football
for what the hard liquor did. Bad football still > liquor nausea.
You sold me...queer giraffes.
by Bourbon_Meyer on Nov 22, 2010 1:27 PM EST up reply actions
Nick Fairley, who AS FAR AS WE KNOW didn’t injure anybody with a football helmet on Saturday
You don’t know about it because there were no witnesses. That survived that is…
by SEC Supremacist on Nov 22, 2010 11:44 AM EST reply actions
Fear Fairley:
He’s evolving into something even more deadly. I head he’s learned how to unhinge his jaw in order to swallow his victims whole.
by Vapor on Nov 22, 2010 3:22 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
HOMEWORK!
Awarded to Bob Diaco, amazingly, for watching film of the triple option instead of romantic comedies in preparation for Saturday night’s game.
George Washington - Golf Cart - Golden Dome - Alex Flanagan
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Nov 22, 2010 12:03 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
Making that clip even more "Adequate"
Is that you can see me at the end of that clip, attempting to at least get a photo of the celebration, having belatedly realized “Hey, there are no photographers over on this side of the field: THIS IS MY MOMENT,” and attempting to race football players – who also have been given a headstart, mind you, and are not wearing a suit – to the end zone.
Note: I failed SPECTACULARLY. This is why I photograph the band, probably.
by TCMcG on Nov 22, 2010 12:24 PM EST reply actions 4 recs
Tulane - UCF defined symmetry
The Knights scored a 95 yard touchdown on the first play of the game, and a 100 yard touchdown on the last play of the game.
In between it was pretty much the same thing.
Don't Panic.
by 4.0 Point Stance on Nov 22, 2010 12:27 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
Yeah, I thought the same thing...
Too bad USF lost. Now, do you think you can take out UConn next week?
Hey Oliver Luck, I absolutely hate that WVU is "the winningest college football team to have never won a National Championship". You think you could do something about that?
by MtnEer_in_SC on Nov 22, 2010 12:33 PM EST up reply actions
How about
You beat Pitt and lose to Rutgers, UConn loses twice, and Pitt finds a way to lose to Cinci… which leads to Big East Armageddon not involving UConn, which the Orange win (Big East Armageddon involving UConn is won by UConn; although Cinci and USF can still reach 4-3, and WVU or Pitt could stumble to 4-3, either SU or UConn win all possible ties at 4-3).
Wait a minute
Big East armageddon hasn’t happened yet?
I am officially supporting West Virginia to win the league
Because if you make it to the Fiesta Bowl at 9-3, that’s not quite as embarrassing as someone else getting there at 8-4. Plus you might actually have a chance to beat… whoever the hell wins the Big 12.
Voodoo Five - South Florida Bulls SBN Blog
The Toughest Blog in America
by Jamie DeVriend on Nov 22, 2010 1:12 PM EST up reply actions
Thank you for your support
But I’m real nervous about WVU getting into a BCS bowl game this year. I think with our weak offense we give away a perfectly winnable ball game in spectaculary laughable fashion.
(see offensive fumble into the end zone for a Louisville TD just this past weekend.)
Hey Oliver Luck, I absolutely hate that WVU is "the winningest college football team to have never won a National Championship". You think you could do something about that?
by MtnEer_in_SC on Nov 22, 2010 1:19 PM EST up reply actions
Maybe if we get the B-12 champion
We’d have a chance. If UT and ISU could give Neb fits WVU could and Stewart’s lifetime record against Stoops is 1-0 (I’ll try to keep telling myself that they way I convinced myself that Pitt has a real good chance to knock off Utah in 2004).
Mitch Mustain
Am I the only one who sees his name and thinks “Oh wow, the guy from Megadeth is playing QB now”?
…
OK, well never mind then.
Symphony of Destruction....
…might be an accurate description of what happened to his college career, though.
"'I wish to hell God would stop trying to make me a better person." - T.J. Lambert
by Signal to Noise on Nov 22, 2010 12:44 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I remember the big recruiting question in 2006 was
who would be the best of the 3 quarterback super recruits: Tim Tebow, Matthew Stafford, or Mitch Mustain.
by Bourbon Dawgwalker on Nov 22, 2010 12:38 PM EST reply actions
Seems silly
But the idea that Matt Cassel would be a better NFL QB than both Matt Leinart and Vince Young seemed far sillier at one time too. Don’t give up on Mitch.
"I have a commanding voice." - Ed Orgeron
As the resident mid-major maven, Mizz Holly...
… do you have scheduled any sort of treatise on how the WAC might die a thousand screaming deaths/manage to pull it together? My WAC fandom stretches only so far as keeping up on conference standings, hating on BSU, and subjecting myself to watching Vandal games; my understanding of the feasibility of the WAC expanding to stay alive is almost nonexistent.
I love green because money be green.
As is the actual feasibility of the WAC staying alive.
I mean, they’ll still exist, with their four new toddler teams, but they’re toast on a competitive level.
________________________________
I will give my shirt for Tennessee today.
by Holly Anderson on Nov 22, 2010 1:11 PM EST up reply actions
I realize we don't do roundball here . . .
. . . but I believe they’ve also fallen below the number of longer-term members (six) needed to retain an auto-bid to the NCAA basketball tournament.
Bring out your dead!
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON
Awarded to Sparty for surviving the scariest bye week of their lives.
by purwho on Nov 22, 2010 1:04 PM EST reply actions 7 recs
It saddens me to say it, but
I’m not sure UCLA has a chance against USC even if they play their second-string punter at QB.
And as a Niner fan, it is going to suck when the Niners “overacheive” their way to a 4- or 5-win season and miss out on Andrew Luck. They will probably draft Jake Locker, who will end up being a bust, following their 1st round picks of Alex Smith and Jim Drunkenmiller (yes, I know how I spelled that).
GO BRUINS.
BITE YOUR TONGUE
I couldn’t take the 40 days and 40 nights wandering in the desert that will take place if the Niners draft Locker. At least gimme Mallett or something.
I love green because money be green.
No on
John Brantley?
"In case you're wondering what the offense should look like, that wasn't it." - Urban Meyer <-- HE SAID THIS ONCE A LONG TIME AGO I PROMISE
No on
Greg McElroy?
Bull Sullivan "Toughest Coach there ever was"
by Another damn Dan on Nov 22, 2010 4:36 PM EST up reply actions
Druckenmiller loved the nose candy more than alcohol
Though I don’t believe he turned down any free beers either.
STAMP OUT BULLYING
Awarded to the Rice Owls for bitch slapping a team that beat them 49-13 last year.
by ScreaminOwl on Nov 22, 2010 2:04 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
Fighting back is *also* considered "bullying" by Cobb County.
Whoever came up with that policy is fucked in the head.
/yes i got suspended for standing up for myself
//broke that fat tubolard’s nose
///ended that kid’s reign of terror
////he ended up being expelled
/////seriously, he had issues
My only argument is you're stupid.
by boddagettaflyer on Nov 22, 2010 3:24 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
"...when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to."
— Martin Luther
by Go Big Rev on Nov 22, 2010 5:39 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
"...when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to."
— Martin Luther
by Go Big Rev on Nov 22, 2010 5:40 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
he had yellow eyes! so help me god, YELLOW EYES!
everybody!sorry bother your time a min,
by thetennesseethumper on Nov 22, 2010 8:32 PM EST up reply actions
How about a Thanks Brah sticker for Kent State's Doug Martin
Who announced he was resigning after 7 seasons at Kent State.
Much like the member of your posse who ‘takes’ the ugly chick in the group, or always takes the crappy team in the PS3 tournament because “someone has to do it”, Doug Martin tried like a muddafugga to win in a Northeast Ohio football program (Mount Union excluded). Alas, the mediocrity got to be too much, and it was time, boys, it was time.
www.charliebaumanderservedit.com
Now if one of yas hasta, you can take that old woman over there, she might be worth maybe, one donkey. . .
My favorite Kent coach was Dean Pees
After his defense got shredded by Iowa back in 2000 (or 2001; my memory is going), he told the media, “I don’t know what happened. In practice, they looked like Deon Sanders. Today, they looked like Dionne Warwick.”
He parlayed his firing at Kent into a five-year run on Bellichik’s staff and is now with the Ravens. So he went from trying to recruit at Kent to making more money in the NFL — and has a Super Bowl ring.
Et Universitatis Ohioensis delenda est!
I'd like to nominate petromax for JauntyPossumDragon.
I know it’s already been awarded, Holly, but really, you have to check out the breathtaking idiocy of this post at Corn Nation from this morning.
Water for the corn, baby. Water for the mother-fucking corn…
"...when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to."
— Martin Luther
That is some fine raving lunacy.
I assume Brian had already finished the Nebraska section of TWIS when that popped up, or that might have even beaten out the Brothers Pelini for Scott Tenorman of the Week.
Bradley-Terry ratings for college football and basketball
Because there aren't enough computer rankings already.
Holly is Number One, Orson Swindle Not So Much Dept
THANKS Holly for the support of beleaguered Mitch Mustain.
He’ll do well.
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