IT'S THURSDAY DO YOU HAVE YOUR POWER TOWEL?
Undefeated K-State hosts Nebraska tonight in the Thursday Night Boys Club in a matchup Craig James describes as "HOOO WEEE" and Jesse Palmer calls "Awesome." They would also say this about Adirondack Chairs, the role SEATO played in coordinating military actions in Vietnam, the smell of lavender, and prostate cancer, but that's just what makes them so lovable! Corn Nation has reasons K-State might actually beat Nebraska, which would formally make the
THE REASON THEY COME ON TUESDAY NIGHT. Holly's Mid-Major piece this week reminds you why they play on Tuesdays (because sometimes they're not very good) (and because no good team dares go up against Mantracker.) The success of the show only gets us closer to our real goal: the real life version of The Most Dangerous Game (Celebrity Edition!)
WOODY HAYES IS ON OUR BOARD OF DIRECTORS AND HE'S NEVER BEEN HAPPY ABOUT IT. The Devil and Les Miles have reached the end of their agreement, ending one of the more fruitful Satan/Coach relationships in recent history. Miles has been a bit too blatant about displaying the powers of Satan in public, though the cover for the offensive coaches this week does hide the black magic a bit this week. Still, read this, realize he is the winningest coach in LSU history, and stand in awe of the raw, terrifying numbers.
When UF starting defensive tackle Omar Hunter plays Saturday against LSU, he will stare into a familiar face on the other side of the line of scrimmage.
Himself? NICE TRY, DOPPELGANGER. By night, Omar Hunter fights crime...as a werewolf.
MICHIGAN AND MICHIGAN STATE PLAY A RIVALRY NON-RIVALRY GAME. Michigan and Michigan State have kind of an adorable Dr. Horrible/Captain Hammer relationship going: one insists the other isn't worth their full effort or consideration as a rival, and the other fumes and occasionally seriously injures Captain Hammer. This matchup this weekend could feature Denard Robinson rushing for 100 yards in a sixth straight game, something helpfully pointed out here as being COMPLETELY INSANE AND UNPRECEDENTED. (No really, it is.) The O-line deserves a hefty hahahaha fat linemen joke amount of credit for this, naturally. Podcasting is done, and done well, by assorted UM and MSU types hyah.
TAKE THE BOTTOM THREE TEAMS BECAUSE THEY WILL BE THE TOP THREE AT THE END OF THE SEASON. Doc Saturday's ongoing and valiant attempt to make any sense of the ACC ranks as one of the internet's most noble exercises in quixotic analysis, and is practically a public service for those of us who enjoy marveling at the deep beige thrills it offers. It's almost as valuable as Has the Large Hadron Collider Destroyed the World Yet? (Check it every morning just to be sure. )
IT'S A BURRRRRFICT DAAAAAAYYYYY. There's a headbutt comin' my waaaaayyyy....
THIS ARTICLE SEEMS INCOMPLETE. As this analysis lacks any mention of large holes to permit third and long conversions, and therefore seems to miss a key part of Todd Grantham's 3-4 defense at Georgia. It also lacks a manual or even a simple section on "Shitty Tackling." (You're not the only ones who hate your defensive coordinator, Georgia, though Mormons would simply express "a real frustration," and not "DAMN YOUR PISSPOOR ASS.")
HE WILL FINISH THE SEASON MORE MACHINE THAN MAN AND THAT'S COOL. Cancer, broken bones, whatever, he'll play.
THIS COLUMN ONLY COST THEM THREE HUNDRED DOLLARS A WORD. Seriously, that's about what ESPN paid for this. Rick Reilly's agent needs to be elected to high office with low responsibilities somewhere.