YOU SHOULD JUST DO LOOK AWAY FOUR TIMES IN A ROW THAT WOULD BE AWESOME
by Spencer Hall on Oct 4, 2010 2:13 AM EDT
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Shackleton said the first and most important element of group survival was to keep morale up. Shackleton put this into practice during his Antarctic escapades by organizing soccer matches for his men on the pack ice, and by allowing them to date seals so long as they made no promises or babies. Most of the men, being British, honored their agreements. The stiff, formal manner of the seals surrounding Elephant Island to this day remind locals of that British sojourn a century ago, especially when they wear bowlers as they are wont to do.
The assembled miserable denizens of visitor's section NN6 in Bryant-Denny Stadium followed Shackleton's advice.
For instance: Alabama could use some more pregame montages. A coked-out Oliver Stone clearly consulted on their pregame, because Alabama's pre-game montage is preceded by its own pregame montage, which in itself has five successive pregame montages. All of them are set to the theme for Requiem for a Dream, and half feature Bear Bryant narrating solemnly over the footage.
None feature Bear Bryant becoming hooked on heroin and getting electroshock therapy, and that's a shame since it was a really important part of his life.*
*Are we imagining, right at this instant, the persons responsible for the playcalling in the Florida game getting electroshock therapy? Preferably administered by us while playing not the theme from Requiem for a Dream, but instead to the theme music from The West Wing? While we're singing out the box score to the first half as the lyrics? Yes, yes we are.
Alabama should add a solid hour to two hours of pregame montages in front of these montages, and charge admission. We decided this could be done with movies, which for a nominal fee and with some fairly easy digital tweaking would feature Bryant himself. The version of No Country For Old Men featuring Bear Bryant as Anton Chigurh would be reviewed by the Birmingham News as "The finest and most uplifting comedy ever filmed."
There were other ideas. They distracted from the wreck of a game happening three hundred feet or so below us. Watching games from the upper deck feels like you digest everything at a clinical but still delayed distance. The effect is one of watching football on cough syrup: crowd movements and cheers aren't synced up, everything but the play itself feels delayed, and still there's a kind of precognition you have from up on high that other don't. They can't see the safety overplaying the run fake, but you can.
The effect is not a good one in a blowout, especially when you can see the proverbial runaway baby stroller of a play rolling into the semi-truck traffic of the counterplay. We watched a lot of strollers roll into traffic in the first half of Saturday night's game at Bryant-Denny Stadium. They were all Florida's.
There were other ideas. Our favorite came from watching the Alabama Million Dollar Band perform. We were sitting with a fellow former Gator band member, and he noted that though the value of our currency has changed drastically over the years, the Million Dollar Band continued to embrace a foolish fixed currency value at exactly one million dollars. At current valuations and with inflation, a steady thirty seconds of internet research revealed that if allowed to float as currencies should the Million Dollar Band would at 2.91% be the $12,482,601.16 Band Today--and that's IF you didn't hand over the money to George Soros or another canny currency trader at any time in its history.
It was brute, negative football. Watching from up high you could see the safeties flex into the plays before they happened, little dots of Crimson meeting Florida Blue at every point. It was exactly like every other game we'd watched Florida play on offense since the 2008 SEC Championship Game: a series of eleven tangoes arranged so that at any point on the field one defender was matched up with one offensive player. Good offense dislodges these romantic moments: it takes those dots and puts them in space alone and unpaired. Good football offense is bad tango. This was excellent tango, and bad football offense.
The breeze kicked up a little bit. It was in the sixties because the weather really does wait for months to pass by on the calendar before politely adjusting itself accordingly. We kept running through ideas. The best proposal for a halftime show to end all halftime shows was what we called "The Black Sabbath Spectacular." You would not actually play Black Sabbath. instead, the announcer would say, "Today, the Gator Band/whoever honors the month of October by playing Earth Wind and Fire's "September"!
Then the band would play Chicago's "Look Away" while making a formation that looked like a game of Frogger.
The announcer would come back on the mic, and say "Now, please join us as we honor our nation's fighting men and women as the Gator Band/whoever plays Lee Greenwood's classic "Proud To Be An American.' Feel free to sing along as soloist Tremaine Blembley's beautiful melody salutes our soldiers."
There would be no soloist. The band would then launch into Chicago's "Look Away," and march in formation saluting the film Human Centipede.
For the finale, you'd introduce a stirring rendition of Hoobastank's "The Reason." Then you would play "Look Away" a third time, and give no instructions for shape, form, or even proper methods of exit from the field. Ideally you'd also fill the band's seats with spectators, and send their buses home for additional effect. You have to weed out the resourceful from the helpless somehow, band directors of the world.
Sometime in the third quarter it was widely agreed that this would be the best halftime show ever.
Everything was designed around making you screw up first, a simple but effective wager that your opponent would jab, and then you countered, and then your opponent was on the mat spitting up teeth and talking long distance to imaginary interlocutors in Shanghai without the use of a phone or other wireless communications device. They called screens, because you were going to overrun them. They called simple, one cut runs with brutal blocking. If they didn't break one way, they took one simple cut and went the other way. You didn't need anything fancy when your opponent willing stuck his member in the bear trap each time.
They played like they didn't even like football: like it was a job with three or four simple, clear-cut rules. All the work had been done beforehand: the tendencies, the formations, the technique. The simple plays were executed with scalpel-sharp precision. The patterns were calmly nodded at and countered. On five wide sets defensive backs stood their ground, since the ball was going nowhere deep, nowhere close to deep, and would in fact be parked on a route somewhere in the three to five yard range (provided that the qb was not sacked, rushed into a bad throw, or otherwise beaten within an inch of his life.) On run plays no fakes were respected since they did not merit respect, but were faked anyway.
It was so efficient you might think Alabama hated football, and wanted less of it by turning a potentially competitive game into a suffocated and forgone conclusion. They might have hated it if they hated boredom. The only thing of any real consequence that happened in the second half was John Brantley getting the shit knocked out of him scrambling unsuccessfully for the first down marker. They might have hated it because those who excel at what they do hate easy things because they are boring and a waste of time.
This was both easy and boring.
At one point the discussion turned to the best method of abducting someone. Some of the conversants were medical professionals, so they knew what they were talking about when they said that chloroform was too unpredictable, and injection too dodgy to do in a hurry. If you were going to really kidnap someone--someone like an offensive coordinator, or quarterbacks coach, or any member of a sputtering offense's coaching staff, for instance--you'd be better off subduing the subject first by sheer physical force and then administering narcotics, sedatives, or whatever other type of drug you'll use to put the subject down.
We voted for the gigantic sack first. This was met with some apprehension due to the danger of suffocation. Gigantic net? No, not unless you were going to carry the net like a butterfly hunter and outfit the victim-to-be in a gigantic butterfly costume, and then we're not being serious now, are we? Then we've crossed over into absurdist comedy, and thus disrespect the work of professional kidnappers and abductors the world round. We may have settled on a compromise involving:
- Wrapping the victim rapidly in Saran Wrap
- Throwing them in a cement mixer filled with those multicolored plastic balls you see in a children's ball pit
- Letting them marinate in there for the duration of the trip to [DISTANT PLACE]
- Heaving them out like an uncut roll of abducted human sashimi in [DISTANT PLACE]
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Where would the world be without black comedy?
I guess Alabama are the Chelsea of college anti-football.
Extending the analogy
This would make Florida either Manchester United or Arsenal, right?
(Georgia would have to be Newcastle. USC would be Leeds United. Oregon would be…Tottenham?)
USC = Leeds is brilliant
I think Georgia may be more Liverpool than Newcastle. They’ll drive out Richt and replace him with the flavor of the month, who will promptly lead them over a cliff and make them long for the good old days of finishing third.
by Brock Sampson on Oct 4, 2010 3:40 AM EDT up reply actions
As a Liverpool supporter, can we just pretend this weekend never happened?
Because that would be awesome.
/Blackpool’d
by Never Leave College on Oct 4, 2010 9:42 AM EDT up reply actions
All I remember is
going to play soccer on Sunday and hearing chants of “Blackpool!” as soon as I got out of the car. Well, chants of Blackpool between all the laughter…
by Never Leave College on Oct 4, 2010 10:26 AM EDT up reply actions
signed
So very, very painful and I don’t see it getting any better.
I’m starting to suspect Liverpool is about to do a Leeds
DON'T EVEN SUGGEST THAT
I feel bad for Roy that he has to clean up the mess Benitez left us in, but he should have more points right now. Being in the drop zone is unexcusable. My 2nd club is Swansea City and I can tell you from experience that relegation is a special kind of pain. We had a chance for a play-off spot last season, but lost it to Blackpool in the last day because of a disallowed goal in stoppage time. I’m really starting to hate the Seasiders.
by Never Leave College on Oct 4, 2010 11:40 AM EDT up reply actions
At least Newcastle has shown that it is possible for a big club to get relegated and bounce back up and look good.
No way this year’s Liverpool team stays in the drop zone for long though. But making it back to the Champions League looks out of reach and the possibility of a full financial meltdown is certainly looming.
Los Angeles is like Manchester. There is a red team that wins championships and a blue team that doesn't.
Champions League?!?!
HAHAHAHAHAHA. We’re just hoping for Europe at this point. I will take a 7th place finish and run with it (this year only).
by Never Leave College on Oct 4, 2010 12:00 PM EDT up reply actions
I'll take a top half finish at this point
I have little to no confidence in Roy given the overly defensive way that he plays – even at home, he makes Rafa look like a footballing Mike Leach. He concedes opposing possession in a way never seen under Rafa and as a result no team is afraid of attacking at Anfield anymore.
Rafa's mess was a bit overstated
It was time for him to go clearly, but the squad was almost the same as the one that finished 2nd two years ago (absent Alonso obviously).
Alonso was huge for that team though.
Losing him and now Mascherano have crushed the midfield. When Lucas Leiva is a regular starter in your midfield, you have problems.
by Never Leave College on Oct 4, 2010 4:12 PM EDT up reply actions
Fair point
Though both of them were bought up by Benitez
Alonso was always going to go back to Spain if Barcelona or Madrid were willing to stump up for him and Masch was also headed away because his wife didn’t like England.
Leeds!
…as I’m concerned, the first thing you can do for me is to chuck all your medals and all your caps and all your pots and all your pans into the biggest fucking dustbin you can find, because you’ve never won any of them fairly. You’ve done it all by bloody cheating…
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Oct 4, 2010 11:00 AM EDT up reply actions
I see someone else has watched "The Damned United."
by Never Leave College on Oct 4, 2010 11:06 AM EDT up reply actions
And read it ...
And a fan of the “other” footballs.
And in order of relevance they are: 1. American (H.S., College, Pro ~ order in your choice), 2. Soccer (EPL, Champions, World Cup, MLS only if the remote is broken), 3. Rugby, 4. Canadian, 5. Arena.
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Oct 4, 2010 11:16 AM EDT up reply actions
I agree with 1 and 2...
But you have to throw Aussie Rules in there too. It’s a crazy game, but fun to watch.
by Never Leave College on Oct 4, 2010 11:41 AM EDT up reply actions
Sure
I liked it, too, I just didn’t know what I was watching.
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Oct 4, 2010 11:43 AM EDT up reply actions
Aussie Rules ain’t what it used to be though. When ESPN first started that was one of the things they would run all the time (back when it was a problem to find enough content). The game was far more brutal and intense back then. Nowdays the game is a tea party compared to what it used to be.
Los Angeles is like Manchester. There is a red team that wins championships and a blue team that doesn't.
I remember one of the first games I watched.
According to the announcers, one of the players had gotten a ligament tear in his leg. He kept playing, but was obviously limping. The other announcer said that he would be fine as soon as the ligament completely tore away from the bone because he wouldn’t feel as much pain. I was hooked.
by Never Leave College on Oct 4, 2010 11:49 AM EDT up reply actions
I'm looking forward to my first Canadian game in a few weeks.
BC at Calgary, as long as Delta gets me there in time. Lions surprised the West-leading Stampeders two weeks ago.
That 17-year-old Hokie sitting in the Greensboro Coliseum rafters in 1997 didn't see any of this coming.
no
florida are very much liverpool at this point
and i would make a case that alabama = arsenal because saban and arsene are like yin and yang
this space intentionally left blank
No... Georgia's actually won something at some point in the past.
Georgia would be Everton. Won some hardware in the past, but usually respectably in the top third of the table… and currently sucking ass.
Previous 4 Posts
You know this is a website for AMERICAN football right?
by tytryon biggums on Oct 4, 2010 9:24 AM EDT up reply actions
He was an Auburn fan, the other team in Alabama with a win streak against Florida
42-38-2
One of the few sets of numbers I have memorized, see ya next year Swindle…
Equal Opportunity Hater
Oh Dear God I Forgot...
Next year’s western division games are (in a row, mind you) Bama, @LSU and @Auburn.
At least we’ll have a bye week before going up against Georgia’s new coach.
I think that's easier than South Carolina's 2010
at Auburn
vs Alabama
vs Arkansas
"They've just discovered a new use for sheep over there at Clemson... wool." - Lewis Grizzard
by GwinnettGamecock on Oct 4, 2010 11:36 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions
Addazio would be Mrs. Goldfarb
slowly going insane while trying to fit his lumpy offense into that Baby Rhino red dress.
Spencer, I feel your pain. OK, no, not really. Not this year as a Duck fan. But sort of.
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
Surely some revelation is at hand…
— W.B. Yeats, The Second Coming…
Also:
Les Miles. Time and Space
warp for him. He must have pics
of Gods naked, yes?
by gamedaytribe on Oct 4, 2010 3:26 AM EDT reply actions 3 recs
And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
"...when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to."
— Martin Luther
by Go Big Rev on Oct 4, 2010 9:45 AM EDT up reply actions 4 recs
Indeed. Rec'd for animal husbandry, through a poem, darkly.
by gamedaytribe on Oct 4, 2010 12:47 PM EDT up reply actions
I mean, really,
what I love best about this site is the sheer variety of comments possible on any given day. Quantum theory, gonzo journalism, philosophy, poetry (Vogon and human); y’all make college footbaw proud.
"...when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to."
— Martin Luther
Great Piece
I, for one, cannot wait to bounce back and play LS-HHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG
_________________
I'm Banana dammit!!!
by BurritoBrosShits on Oct 4, 2010 6:54 AM EDT reply actions
I am a collector
…of mementos from life’s painful experiences. Jagged bits of metal removed from the body, scars from disagreements that could not be reconciled peacefully, a returned engagement ring. To this collection I’ll add this piece, clip to it the boxscore from Saturday night’s debacle, and flinchingly look upon it only rarely, and only at times when I feel content and invincible.
by Jack Fact on Oct 4, 2010 7:51 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Watching games from the upper deck feels like you digest everything at a clinical but still delayed distance. The effect is one of watching football on cough syrup: crowd movements and cheers aren’t synced up, everything but the play itself feels delayed, and still there’s a kind of precognition you have from up on high that other don’t. They can’t see the safety overplaying the run fake, but you can.
The effect is not a good one in a blowout, especially when you can see the proverbial runaway baby stroller of a play rolling into the semi-truck traffic of the counterplay. We watched a lot of strollers roll into traffic in the first half of Saturday night’s game at Bryant-Denny Stadium. They were all Florida’s.
That pretty well sums up how I felt sitting in the upper deck of the Superdome watching Alabama get their ass handed to them by Utah in the Sugar Bowl.
Family is a wonderful thing
And yet as I left my niece’s wedding, driving across Central to Eastern NY, looking for a radio station anywhere with the game on, I did wonder again why family is a wonderful thing. As I caught ESPN1000 out of Chicago, which had a strong signal but as the game progressed apparently a bad satellite feed, it all seemed to make complete sense. I would hear a play or two and then suddenly the standard ESPN fare and then game feed again. What was worse? ESPN or what was going on between the Gators and Crimson Tide? A conundrum that baffled me until I heard what Les Miles did. JAYSUS.
We'll get there when we get there.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Oct 4, 2010 8:32 AM EDT reply actions
I remember when the post-loss pieces were more...
… ahem, eloquent.
http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/2007/10/27/georgiaflorida-a-summary/
Wilford Brimley bukakke party.
Please Please Please
Does someone have a picture of the Bama fan that CBS had focused on after Brantley had been crunched and had to leave the game? The guy with the slick backed hair simialr to the Affleck kid off of HBO’s boardwalk with the crimson A incrusted shoulder pads on, the pink under armor shirt, the single gloved sissy boy waving the pom pom. Please tell me that someone has a picture of this kid, as there needs to be an entire internet meme about his life and times.
Don't give up, don't ever give up ~ Jim Valvano
The locals are very accepting as long as he doesn't tell their wives
Don't give up, don't ever give up ~ Jim Valvano
or Defendor.
/great movie, BTW
MSState Football: You want INT's? We got 'em.
by CoastalCowbell on Oct 4, 2010 12:14 PM EDT up reply actions
Here is a pic I took out in Pasadena
Auburn and Tennessee fans are a lot like Slinkys...neither are worth much but you do get a sense of satisfaction from pushing them down a flight of stairs
CAPTAIN AWSOME IS COAST TO COAST BABY!
The other two, meh
Bull Sullivan "Toughest Coach there ever was"
by Another damn Dan on Oct 4, 2010 10:01 PM EDT up reply actions
If you get tired of CA
Here is a Utex fan I took a snapshot of…
Auburn and Tennessee fans are a lot like Slinkys...neither are worth much but you do get a sense of satisfaction from pushing them down a flight of stairs
Thank you for this, Orson.
While it pains me to even mention your name in the same breath with MikeAAACCKKKBianchi, you have summed up that game with infinitely more wit, style, insight, and skill than that word-murderer could even begin to comprehend.
I was in NN10
I can say that I think he undersold the Gator fans, uh, disapproval of the offensive coordinator.
by SoFla Tideroller on Oct 4, 2010 9:22 AM EDT reply actions
That game was boring as fuck...
Come on Florida. Get your shit together.
Again, can someone tell me how Bama isn’t just like SC during it’s reign of terror over the Pac 10. Hell, at least SC got beat on occasion by PAC 10 teams.
"If Greg Giraldo is cremated, will that be the 'Greg Giraldo Roast'?"
C'mon, Sweatervest
quit making games against the Illini so exciting.
by SoFla Tideroller on Oct 4, 2010 10:04 AM EDT up reply actions
Yeah...
because the tOSU v Illinois game was certainly the premiere match-up of the weekend. Those battles are always barn burners aren’t they?
"If Greg Giraldo is cremated, will that be the 'Greg Giraldo Roast'?"
That game was boring as fuck…
Couldn’t agree more. Horrible game to watch.
Thank jebus the Oregon-Stanford game was on at the same time, which was highly entertaining.
by ESS EEE SEE Speed on Oct 4, 2010 11:37 AM EDT up reply actions
It was certainly no Indiana Michigan
Weoejuwejhdjwe!
by Chekhov's Spread Gun Option on Oct 4, 2010 4:00 PM EDT up reply actions
I know how to explain this one - I know simple math and have access to the internet
Alabama 2005-2009
vs. SEC : 29-13, Average score: 24.3-16.6
vs. Other BCS: 6-2
Ohio State 2005-2009
vs.Big Ten Rust Belt: 36-4, Score 32.1-12.8
vs. Other BCS teams: 3-6
vs. SEC: 0-2, Score: 19.0-39.5
Ohio State is only two games worse in conference than Boise State, but the Broncos are better against OOC BCS foes (4-4).
If the percentages are confusing, find a Michigan Man to help.
"They've just discovered a new use for sheep over there at Clemson... wool." - Lewis Grizzard
by GwinnettGamecock on Oct 4, 2010 11:53 AM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
facts don't work on him
/just sayin’
MSState Football: You want INT's? We got 'em.
by CoastalCowbell on Oct 4, 2010 11:58 AM EDT up reply actions
How many games has Bama lost during....
’08, ’09 and ’10 against the SEC?
"If Greg Giraldo is cremated, will that be the 'Greg Giraldo Roast'?"
Wait, how does that explain the question?
Comparing Bama, OSU, and Boise State… to explain a question comparing Bama and USC…
Also, the picking of arbitrary years, in the middle of which Bama got a new coach.
"You know, we had a lot of fun tonight. But there's nothing funny about vapor lock! It's the third most common cause of cars stalling. So please, take care of your car and get it checked!" -Joe Namath
by billycthulhu on Oct 4, 2010 12:03 PM EDT up reply actions
Go easy on him...
He has to root for South Carolina. Defending the greatness of his conference is all he has.
"If Greg Giraldo is cremated, will that be the 'Greg Giraldo Roast'?"
It grows tiresome to remind you of this,
but we also handled Ohio State each time we’ve played them.
Like anybody would, we struggle in a league that contains five of the top fifteen programs in CFB history. However, we have gone about 500 in conference this decade, and the trend is upwards.
Meanwhile, if we project Ohio State’s SEC record from that period to a full slate of conference games, we get… Oh. Geez, man. I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Now I feel like that dick in HS that picked on the disabled kid.
Look, don’t worry about your record vs the SEC projected to a full slate. It’s not that important. Um… You beat Illinois this weekend! By two scores! And I’m sure you’ll beat Purdue, and Minnesota, and… Central Michigan! (I think they’re in there. All those crappy, slow teams play them They MUST be in there. /internal dialogue) You’ll probably beat some of those teams even worse than you beat Illinois!
Let’s see if we can find a sticker for you somewhere, big guy.
"They've just discovered a new use for sheep over there at Clemson... wool." - Lewis Grizzard
by GwinnettGamecock on Oct 4, 2010 12:19 PM EDT up reply actions
Hey...
at least tOSU didn’t curb stomped by UCONN in a bowl game.
"If Greg Giraldo is cremated, will that be the 'Greg Giraldo Roast'?"
and they dont have to watch
home & home & home & homes against youngstown state.
MSState Football: You want INT's? We got 'em.
by CoastalCowbell on Oct 4, 2010 1:33 PM EDT up reply actions
You can't afford...
to schedule YSU when you have to battle giants like Furman.
"If Greg Giraldo is cremated, will that be the 'Greg Giraldo Roast'?"
or when you're watching Pryor/God get outrushed & out passed by a SunBelt QB
and your team overall getting out gained in a 4th quarter escape from a Sun Belt team at home. (Troy ’08. i noticed that they havent been on the sched since. hmmmm)
MSState Football: You want INT's? We got 'em.
by CoastalCowbell on Oct 4, 2010 1:55 PM EDT up reply actions
That's true! You're doing great!
"They've just discovered a new use for sheep over there at Clemson... wool." - Lewis Grizzard
by GwinnettGamecock on Oct 4, 2010 2:00 PM EDT up reply actions
South Carolina would dominate the Big Ten
Just look how well they played against Iowa in the 2009 Outback Bowl.
by Brock Sampson on Oct 4, 2010 2:33 PM EDT up reply actions
This guy is completely delusional...
I can’t blame him though. I’d be delusional too if I had to pretend South Carolina was a good football program.
"If Greg Giraldo is cremated, will that be the 'Greg Giraldo Roast'?"
Single data points? App State will win the big ten forevah!
That 2008 team lost to everyone of consequence in the SEC before facing an Iowa squad that, based on MOV and YPG dif, undoubtedly deserved better.
If you make the erroneous assumption that the move would not have a disastrous impact on our recruiting, South Carolina would perform slightly better in the Big Ten than we do in the SEC. It is possible to avoid the top team in any given year, so the conference does present a much easier path to a magic season, as witnessed by Northwestern’s Rose Bowl appearance.
There are also only three schools with huge institutional advantages, and the Big Ten’s trio is more vulnerable due to both distance from the SE recruiting grounds they have been forced to mine to compete with top teams OOC, and cultures more bound to tradition than innovation, though Michigan and (possibly) Ohio State seem to be moving beyond this.
Your entire point is irrelevant to the initial post though. He said, “Alabama dominates the SEC like Southern Cal did the Pac-10!” I provided data that refuted that, so he changed it to South Carolina iz not gud! I provided another data-based reply he could not refute, so he resorted to name calling.
I generally hate feeding the trolls, but every once in awhile, I can’t resist.
"They've just discovered a new use for sheep over there at Clemson... wool." - Lewis Grizzard
by GwinnettGamecock on Oct 4, 2010 3:59 PM EDT up reply actions
You did not provide any data to disprove my comment.
Again, who in the SEC has beaten Bama in ’08, ’09 or ’10?
"If Greg Giraldo is cremated, will that be the 'Greg Giraldo Roast'?"
Florida in 08
nobody at all beat Bama in 09. ’10 is still happening and ANYTHING IS POSSIBULLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!
/Garnett’d
Weoejuwejhdjwe!
by Chekhov's Spread Gun Option on Oct 4, 2010 9:37 PM EDT up reply actions
SEC championship game...
Bama didn’t lose during the regular season. They are unlikely to be beat this year.
Again, it’s very similar to SC dominating the Pac 10. One great team and a whole lot of meh.
"If Greg Giraldo is cremated, will that be the 'Greg Giraldo Roast'?"
Yeah, but our meh beats your meh anyday
Bull Sullivan "Toughest Coach there ever was"
by Another damn Dan on Oct 4, 2010 10:02 PM EDT up reply actions
How so?
Big 10 has a winning record against the SEC this past decade.
"If Greg Giraldo is cremated, will that be the 'Greg Giraldo Roast'?"
MSState Football: You want INT's? We got 'em.
by CoastalCowbell on Oct 4, 2010 10:09 PM EDT up reply actions
you repeat the same stat,
you get Bennett.
MSState Football: You want INT's? We got 'em.
by CoastalCowbell on Oct 4, 2010 10:21 PM EDT up reply actions
I have yet to see it be addressed...
it’s standard from fans of lesser SEC teams…such as Miss St.
"If Greg Giraldo is cremated, will that be the 'Greg Giraldo Roast'?"
Jeebus
whatcha want from me? i dont proclaim: “ZOMG Missy State izza gunna win da nashunul shampionship ebbry yeara.” i know they wont. its just funny to see this drivel you put up. i know that i am feedin the troll by even replying, but as with most folks, you end up going back to the facts youve already used. if someone makes a point against you, its on to the next subject. or, a personal attach against whoever they are a fan of. your cycle is easy to see and predict.
MSState Football: You want INT's? We got 'em.
by CoastalCowbell on Oct 4, 2010 10:27 PM EDT up reply actions
Well who the hell are you arguing for?
The PAC 10 one team league or the Big Int. Look at it this way. You have to build a team to win your conference first. The SEC champ is better than everybody in the country for the last four years. Not just one team, but three different teams. Can anybody match that? Has anybody ever matched that? Answer me that deviidee33.
Bull Sullivan "Toughest Coach there ever was"
by Another damn Dan on Oct 4, 2010 10:15 PM EDT up reply actions
i dont think he really knows.
i feel that Orson may employ him to generate traffic for site. not that the site needs a GDMF troll for hits, but…
/not really
//good aluminum foil head idea though
MSState Football: You want INT's? We got 'em.
by CoastalCowbell on Oct 4, 2010 10:19 PM EDT up reply actions
i just like the fact
that his posts give me a reason to put ol’ Bennett Brauer out there.
MSState Football: You want INT's? We got 'em.
by CoastalCowbell on Oct 4, 2010 10:20 PM EDT up reply actions
Again...
No one is beating Bama this year. That will be 3 years of not losing a conference game. What else would you compare that to?
"If Greg Giraldo is cremated, will that be the 'Greg Giraldo Roast'?"
Bama in the 60's?
Oklahoma in the 70’s? Notre Dame, Army, Harvard in the old days? It’s not like great teams don’t come along. It’s the perfect combo of coach, talent and tradition. Hell, we are only five games into the year. We got the next six SEC games against teams with a bye before they play us. We are far from undefeated for the year. Some time we are going to lose. This year, next year whatever it will happen. And if y’all think the Gators are pissed, just wait.
Bull Sullivan "Toughest Coach there ever was"
by Another damn Dan on Oct 4, 2010 10:29 PM EDT up reply actions
Your usual method is to ignore this
as you have already done at least twice.
You don’t respect South Carolina. That’s ok. We are a middle of the pack SEC program with aspirations, and my main concern with the state of Ohio is that it’s failed economy stop exporting emigres to my state.
Just understand that your program is literally a punchline across wide swathes of the country, and will remain so until you put up a fight against an SEC team in a high profile game. You can beat Indiana sixty to seven (but we both know you won’t), and that will not change. Ohio State will still be a name inserted into football conversations from the south Atlantic to New Orleans for cheap laughs.
"They've just discovered a new use for sheep over there at Clemson... wool." - Lewis Grizzard
by GwinnettGamecock on Oct 5, 2010 1:31 PM EDT up reply actions
Again...
I get it. You love your conference. Why? Because your TEAM is a complete joke.
It’s a .500 team that has never won anything of note. You have no history. Your program is insiginificant in the grand scheme of college football.
If I were you…I’d be rooting for the other teams in my conference too.
"If Greg Giraldo is cremated, will that be the 'Greg Giraldo Roast'?"
So Florida beats Bama in the championship game
if I could put emphasis on championship in the heading I would. But the SEC is exactly like the Pac 10 with one good team and a lot of “meh”?
Need I remind you that Florida won the national championship that year?
Bama has won exactly one championship this decade. Florida has won three. LSU has won three. Georgia has won two. Auburn has won one. But you’re right, Bama’s run is exactly like USC’s, which won at least a share of the PAC 10 title for seven consecutive seasons.
Weoejuwejhdjwe!
by Chekhov's Spread Gun Option on Oct 4, 2010 10:18 PM EDT up reply actions
Wat?
UGA? Auburn?
Are joking me?
Minnesota has like 6 National Championships…so what?
"If Greg Giraldo is cremated, will that be the 'Greg Giraldo Roast'?"
Nevermind...
speaking of SEC championships.
"If Greg Giraldo is cremated, will that be the 'Greg Giraldo Roast'?"
You also realize...
the Big Ten has winning record vs the SEC over the past decade right?
Or do you simply ignore data the contradicts your worldview that South Carolina is good simply because they play in the SEC?
"If Greg Giraldo is cremated, will that be the 'Greg Giraldo Roast'?"
MSState Football: You want INT's? We got 'em.
by CoastalCowbell on Oct 4, 2010 4:19 PM EDT up reply actions
It is not arbitrary. It is the most recent completed five year period,
and five years is the smallest window to get any insight of significance.
Can I get an, “I paid attention in class” sticker?
"They've just discovered a new use for sheep over there at Clemson... wool." - Lewis Grizzard
by GwinnettGamecock on Oct 4, 2010 12:05 PM EDT up reply actions
The OU Tranny Cheerleader
You’d think that the OU tranny cheerleader would have more than made up for this weekend’s disappointments.
KILL IT!! KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!
I'm afraid I have no choice but to sell you all for scientific experiments.
by boddagettaflyer on Oct 4, 2010 10:26 AM EDT up reply actions
You're
gonna have to be a little more specific here. Two prime candidates in that picture.
by Vernon Hardapple on Oct 4, 2010 10:53 AM EDT up reply actions
Which is just insane, really,
because I’ve been to Oklahoma – they were, by far, the hottest student body in the old Big 8.
"...when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to."
— Martin Luther
yeah, I've got to believe they can find some hotter (or at least actually female) cheerleading candidates in the entirety of the student body
What’s that, you say? They have to try out based on things like talent and experience? pshaw….
"You know, we had a lot of fun tonight. But there's nothing funny about vapor lock! It's the third most common cause of cars stalling. So please, take care of your car and get it checked!" -Joe Namath
by billycthulhu on Oct 4, 2010 12:06 PM EDT up reply actions
Wow....C.C. Deville really let himself go since POISON broke up.....
IS that brunette chick to the right of CC pregnant?
Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
by mrpelicanpants on Oct 6, 2010 10:35 PM EDT up reply actions
Ah, Spencer...
Welcome (sort of) to our Wilderness years from Dubose to Shula. Minus the jumbo package, sanctions. strippers and sexual harassment suits. The first because McElwain has a semblance of a functioning brain and the last three becasue Nick Saban has not time for that shit.
An effective 15-yardish Paul Warfield down and in game would give this Bama D trouble—which I though Florida had found with that clear out route to the left Saturday, but the wheezing Steve Addazio abacus kept insisting on trying to kill Jeff Demps via the Alabama front four.
The sun will come out again—most likely against Coach Scramble Carcass this week….because, well you saw the last minute of that thing from your DVR, right? Meyer will tweak this offseason and add a power game of some sort and we’ll be back to even.
Dark times for Bama indeed
There was a moment late in the Auburn game against Lamo when it was well out of hand when Herm Edwards said “Aren’t these the last two teams to beat Alabama at home?”
You guys have to love how most of the media is completely ignoring the ten years before Saban like it never happened.
…as long as it’s Nick Saban versus Steve Addazio in a chess match in the SEC, it will be Saban who calls check mate first…
this might be asking a bit much of a metaphor clearly created for it’s color rather than incisive analysis but why is it the HC vs the OC? certainly saban is a very hands-on coach but it’s pretty clear he lets his coordinators run the show on the field (well, at least as much as meyer does, anyway).
so it would seem to be more reasonable to ask if addazio is competent enough to counter kirby smart rather than saban. no?
the reason i ask is because if, in fact, saban and meyer are considered of equal caliber (as it seems most observers are willing to acknowledge) then the disparity in the recent contests should be resolvable by changing assistants. the balance of power should reasonably shift again if addazio is canned or if smart heads to greener pastures (something that seems almost inevitable to occur in this years end-of-the-season coaching carousel).
but if the basis of the equation lies in the head coaches themselves and given the observation above that the quality of talent seems to be leveled out — that suggest the status quo will continue for as long as they are ensconced in their respective positions of power. as much as that would tickle me to death, i’m understandably suspect of the conclusion.
Roll 'Bama Roll: The Champagne of 'Bama Blogs.
I'd say Mullen is probably equivalent to Smart
And Terryl Austin seems to be a pretty good defensive coordinator.
Steve Addazio seems outdone by your entire defensive staff though.
Didn't the Duke of
Wellington say something to the effect after Waterloo, “they came at us in the same old way”? Maybe Addazio has French roots…
by SoFla Tideroller on Oct 4, 2010 9:41 AM EDT reply actions
*Insert “But, but, Saban’s the short little tyrant!” joke here
by SoFla Tideroller on Oct 4, 2010 9:42 AM EDT up reply actions
True
Historical references only go so far.
by SoFla Tideroller on Oct 4, 2010 9:49 AM EDT reply actions
Lighten up, dude
UF has lost, what, 11 games in the last 6 seasons? I don’t feel bad for you, at all.
I cannot disagree with this any harder
From the crucible of Goodman Swindle’s painful experience, a great narrative has been forged.
"I've made a huge little mistake." - G.O.B.
by Joey C. on Oct 4, 2010 10:52 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions
Yeah this schtick worked better when Zook was running the program in to the ground and fighting frat boys
Oh so you cheer for the second best program in college football right now, and they happened to lose to the single best program in college football right now? Cry me a fucking river. This would be a lot more convincing if Holly were penning these posts.
Don't Panic.
by 4.0 Point Stance on Oct 4, 2010 11:25 AM EDT up reply actions
If there's a moment of pity demanded in there we'd love to see it.
Because college football is too important to be left to the professionals.
by Spencer Hall on Oct 4, 2010 11:29 AM EDT up reply actions
I didn't say pity, I said "convincing"
Don't Panic.
by 4.0 Point Stance on Oct 4, 2010 11:34 AM EDT up reply actions
He wasn't seeking sympathy ...
He was trying to find context for the debacle that had imprinted itself in his brain.
He was trying to come to terms with the fact that the universe may be run by an angry blood god who delights only in his suffering.
In short, he was being a fan.
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Oct 4, 2010 11:34 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Fr rlz?
Evisceration isn’t ever easy to watch: whether it’s Jenn Sterger or Mark Mangino on the table, when the blood starts flying all you want to do is look away.
"...when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to."
— Martin Luther
Spencer- I really enjoyed reading this, as I’ve had plenty of opportunities to watch my team wallow on the losing ends of blowouts. You’re thinking in that situation is much more constructive than mine normally is, as I’m usually focused on desperately trying to not sucker punch that opposing fan in front of me.
All in all though, it’s hard for me to feel sorry for Florida fans (or Texas fans) at this point. It’s kinda like seeing the multimillionaire after a rough year in the stock market….“Oh poor poor me. This Lexus is soooooo ghetto- I hope nobody sees me in it. Once that Imclone stock comes back, I can get my Bentley out of hock and I’ll be rolling fat again”
by Spartan D on Oct 4, 2010 9:56 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Florida fans may not be the most sympathetic bunch right now, but
losing sucks, always and without exception.
What sucks even more is the feeling of being light years behind a team that you’re going to have to face every year (or nearly every year); see, e.g., USC v. Notre Dame (2006-2008). But if there’s anything like a hard and fast rule in college football, it’s that no one is invincible, and no dynasty lasts forever. In fact, dynasties don’t seem to last more than a couple years these days. I have no doubt being a Florida fan was a black hole of misery and pain on Saturday night, but things are not as bad as they seem. Hell, the Gata are probably one Steve Addazio away from going right back to putting evey opponent in the tree shredder.
In short:
We'll get there when we get there.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Oct 4, 2010 10:07 AM EDT up reply actions
It's not the losing, it's the method of losing
When you are sitting there watching the team continuing to ram it’s head against a wall, expecting that this next time they are totally taking that wall down. nobody is asking for your sympathy, though. We realize how lucky we are. We also realize how fleeting success can be, so we’d like to get as much of it as we can while we have the talent and the opportunity. Unfortunately, it seems as though Alabama is not going to allow that to happen. At least, not until the Gator offense realizes that running Jeff Demps into 300 lb linemen is not the preferred method of traveling down the field.
Yes ...
I’ve also heard this type of loss described as “watching a cruise missile hit your grandma’s house.”
Excuse me for my bellicosity. And spelling. Bellicosity and spelling.
by Blackheartnopants on Oct 4, 2010 11:11 AM EDT up reply actions
Getting thoroughly whupped by a better football team is an honorable way to lose. Much better than the alternatives like shooting yourself in the foot by coughing up turnovers en masse, or giving up a big lead, or losing on a last second play.
All of which most of us have experienced with our teams.
I’ll take a solid ass kicking any day of the week- at least you have no regrets or shoulda woulda couldas.
See, I don't see it that way
We turned the ball over 4 times to Bama’s 0. We were in the red zone 5 times, and even inside the 5 THREE times, and came away with 6 points and 2 turnovers. Gave away 7 more points on a horrible checkdown. All this while running the worst offensive game plan you could make against Bama.
Their weakness was supposed to be their your DBs, and the Gators spent all game running into the teeth of the front 7, and throwing short crosses. They didn’t go deeper than 20 yards. When they did decide to pass the ball, they were moderately successful if they threw more than 5 yards down field. It almost as if Addazio remembered everybody calling him out for only running 9 times in last years game, and said “I’ll show these fuckers.”
Don’t get me wrong, Bama played well. And even without all those mistakes, they might still win. The frustrating thing is that they didn’t even give themselves a chance to win the game. They should have played better.
i agree fully
and ask that you take a look at the box score for the LSU-MSU game this year. /Dammitdammitdammit.
http://scores.espn.go.com/ncf/recap?gameId=302610099
MSState Football: You want INT's? We got 'em.
by CoastalCowbell on Oct 4, 2010 3:18 PM EDT up reply actions
Great work.
"Shave your head, get a wet sponge, and flip the switch, 'cause you're about to get a Truthocution!" -Stephen Colbert
Ahh, the"no option" option
“When we ran John Brantley to the short side of the field on an option he would never, ever keep in any billions of probable realities, we thought this.”
He’s clearly been watching tapes of Chris Todd running the Malzahn offense last year.
Florida needs a big man
As we witnessed the ritual sacrifice of the Florida running attack from the etherial heights of the upper deck, the inequity of the respective teams’ power attack was apparent. Brantley should never be put in the position of running an option, especially when the pitch option looked something like this . .
Perhaps Steve Adazzio could get some help from the Gator Nation. At least this guy . .
might be able to fall forward from the one-yard-line in two tries.
by Danny Trejo's Gynecologist on Oct 4, 2010 10:56 AM EDT up reply actions
Has it ocurred to anyone else that
the main reason for Meyer’s legendary championship run at UF is the combination of of Tebow and Mullen? Before Tebow Meyer was mehh…with Tebow & Mullen – spectacular……..after Tebow & Mullen gone…back to mehhh.
Obviously, meyer had lightning in a bottle there for a few years, but how much of it was the planets being in alignment (talent & staffing-wise), and how much was Meyer himself?
Just sayin’
/ducks flying objects, runs for cover
It's a sure sign of impending societal collapse when we have so many grown men sitting around and arguing on the Interwebz about other people they don't know playing games that don't matter. But it can occasionally be fun.
Disagree
Meyer has won everywhere he has been. The guy can coach.
"If Greg Giraldo is cremated, will that be the 'Greg Giraldo Roast'?"
And Mullen was there with him every stop of the way.
by Bourbon_Meyer on Oct 4, 2010 10:50 AM EDT up reply actions
I like this statement
/above .500 for this first time in a long time 5 weeks in!
//we deserve some sort of trophy
MSState Football: You want INT's? We got 'em.
by CoastalCowbell on Oct 4, 2010 10:52 AM EDT up reply actions
That's a fair point.
I still believe that Urban is a great coach.
"If Greg Giraldo is cremated, will that be the 'Greg Giraldo Roast'?"
Of course I agree, however I think Mullen added the sparkle and creativity to Urban’s system.
I think back to the Ole Miss game in ’08 when Mullen was out – not everyone knew at the time. The offensive performance looked suspiciously like our entire ’09 (and now ’10) campaign.
by Bourbon_Meyer on Oct 4, 2010 10:58 AM EDT up reply actions
LET'S PLAY TRUTH OR BRICK YOU CHOSE BRICK
Because college football is too important to be left to the professionals.
by Spencer Hall on Oct 4, 2010 10:33 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Oh, I don't know.
Sometimes brick is preferable.
We'll get there when we get there.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Oct 4, 2010 10:59 AM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
That should totally be a new Jerry Springer type show...
Brick or we let the a person you know come on stage…
"It’s not Disneyland, people. Get the hell out of the way." NYC Firefighter
by jokastrength on Oct 4, 2010 11:02 AM EDT up reply actions
On nights like Saturday
Brick is preferable, but it must be made of gold and wrapped with a lemon slice.
Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters
A necessity for any ND night game.
We'll get there when we get there.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Oct 4, 2010 11:32 AM EDT up reply actions
Yes.
"They've just discovered a new use for sheep over there at Clemson... wool." - Lewis Grizzard
by GwinnettGamecock on Oct 4, 2010 11:55 AM EDT up reply actions
The link
Seven Games You Can Play With A Brick, including Truth or Brick.
"They've just discovered a new use for sheep over there at Clemson... wool." - Lewis Grizzard
by GwinnettGamecock on Oct 4, 2010 12:02 PM EDT up reply actions
I like hyperbole and a half alot!
"...when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to."
— Martin Luther
Forget it, she is mine
Auburn and Tennessee fans are a lot like Slinkys...neither are worth much but you do get a sense of satisfaction from pushing them down a flight of stairs
He won with Chris Leak as his starting QB
’Nuff said.
Circle of coaching
Look at the last ten years of coaching and everyone has had this happen to them… Stoops was the next coming of Jesus (excuse me Tebow) when he first got to Oklahoma. Winning anywhere and against anybody… Then Tressel came on the scene as Stoops was struggling in big games and losing bowl games…. Tressel was pegged as the greatest "big Game’ coach out there… He has has obviously had his struggles in the big games as of late… Urban took over the stigma as the next “great coach” and Florida fans are finding out you cant win every big game every time… Urban will find his place along with Tress and Stoops.. Now Saban on the other hand, the “the circle of coaching” does not apply to the devil!!
by Chi-Town Senator on Oct 4, 2010 10:38 AM EDT up reply actions
What a novel idea.
I can’t believe no one has ever speculated on this theory before now.
by Bourbon_Meyer on Oct 4, 2010 10:46 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Yes I know
I sound like Mr. Obvious, my point being people wanting to call for Meyers head is a little crazy… Have faith in him and Im sure he will put it back together and Florida will be once again running wild through the streets of the SEC..
by Chi-Town Senator on Oct 4, 2010 10:57 AM EDT up reply actions
My bad...
That reply was meant for the original comment about Mullen being the real secret sauce of the UF offense. Which I’ve been saying since the UT game last year…and I’m not a smart man so I can’t be the first person to have thought that.
by Bourbon_Meyer on Oct 4, 2010 11:11 AM EDT up reply actions
I would put Harvin as a 1a with Tebow
Tough to judge the meh that was 2009 (Cinncy so doesn’t even count) since Mullen & Harvin were both gone, but I’d lean towards Harvin being more important than Mulllen. Anyone remember the UF Play calling wheel in early ’08? That was Mullen at the helm no?
I’m totally into “next year” mentality. What we really need to put our research $ into is figuring out how we can win the rest of our games without having to go to Atlanta in Dec., because Lord Tebow knows, the result will be the same.
Help us Chizik, you’re are only hope!
The Florida Gators have been
HERMINATED.
God help us all.
1-2-3-4-5, them Gators don't take no jive!
That is, by far, the best summary of the Florida fans I know and like.....
From a Bama fans perspective, I was intially shocked on how vanilla Florida has become on offense. We never got challenged on the deep ball.Hell, we never challenged ya’ll on the deep ball, either. I have been watching and admiring Florida from a distance since we almost got Tebow back in ‘06. We never had a chance because Tebow was born to run Urbans offense. He ran the a similar version of it in high school and was a perfect match when he took the reigns after ya’lls MNC in 07. He was a intergral part of a “Two-headed offensive beast” with him and Harvin(the “X” factor) on that side of the ball. It kept defenses honest because you couldn’t leave Harvin unattended on a blitz( he could take it to the house on a 2yrd hitch),and Tebow was always a threat to tuck it and run over people for 5yrds. Then once Mullen and Harvin left, all the excitement and thrills of the O went with them, and that double edged sword of offense became basically a really sharp stick that Bama didnt fear, and Nick simply went after Brantley play after play. From a defensive minded observer, Trey Burton is your only hope to run Urbans system the way he runs it. Just like Rich Rod, a drop back pocket passer is basically asking for a train wreck, because Defenses dont respect dual threat offenses with a single threat QB, and when the only threat is passing, it turns out like this. You basically have a Denaurd Robinson type talent with Burton, turn the kid loose.
Fire Addazio, and let Urban call his own plays with Burton, and yall will light the scoreboard up. Keep Brantley in, and you will keep getting the same results once he gets killed from internal bleeding…..
Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Oh boo hoo hoo, Orson
Your team just lost to Nick Saban, mine lost last to Les Miles
Your head coach is Urban Meyer, mine is Bill Stewart.
You want to trade Addazzio for Jeff Mullen? I’ll help you with the kidnap/switch.
We train young men to drop fire on people, but their commanders won't allow them to write 'fuck' on their airplanes because it is obscene! ~ Col. Kurtz
or, for situation to make both parties happy
arrange for the kidnap/switch to both end in ‘lost in transit’ or ‘shot while attempting escape’
MSState Football: You want INT's? We got 'em.
by CoastalCowbell on Oct 4, 2010 11:33 AM EDT up reply actions 4 recs
REC'D FOR INSPIRED SUGGESTION
Because college football is too important to be left to the professionals.
by Spencer Hall on Oct 4, 2010 11:34 AM EDT up reply actions
Lost in transit?
Yes, we can do lost in transit. Now, who borrowed my wood chipper?
We train young men to drop fire on people, but their commanders won't allow them to write 'fuck' on their airplanes because it is obscene! ~ Col. Kurtz
by MtnEer_in_SC on Oct 4, 2010 12:25 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Hey, UF fans have had it so tough lately, go easy on them
I love reading things by angry UF fans while listening to “Sympathy for the Devil” in the background.
by ElRocco337 on Oct 4, 2010 2:24 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Swindle!
Stop being such a drama queen and post the goddamned index!
<3
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends." - Tom Waits
by Gamecock'n'Balls on Oct 4, 2010 11:36 AM EDT reply actions
Every team has a week like this.
After the first quarter I was sure it was our time. It will be soon enough. Such is the nature of college football, unless you’re Alabama, Ohio State, or Flor…never mind.
Cliff Harris on deciding to be a Duck: "Not too far, but not too close. Just everything about Oregon - I love the green."
by AutzenGetsBlounted on Oct 4, 2010 11:36 AM EDT reply actions
Just Surprising
It shocks me that Urban turned to Tressel ball when we all know it clearly doesnt work in the SEC!! You’ll be alright Orson…you get pissy about it at first constantly bitching up a storm calling for the heads of coordinators and coaches.. but then over time it starts to just wear on you and you find it almost comical… Then after 10 yrs of the shit you actually start to cheer on the 62 yd punt that just changed field position!! High-fiving friends and chugging beers after your red zone field goal!!
by Chi-Town Senator on Oct 4, 2010 11:48 AM EDT reply actions
I am starting to think...
that maybe Tebow was a pretty good college QB, not just a QB on loaded teams. Saturday night was similar to what would have happened to Shackleton’s expedition if, well, Shackleton wasn’t there.
Its a long season, guys, and I am sure we are bound for a ....
either a tOSU vs Oregon BCS, or a tOSU vs Boise St. BCS……
I still dont know if Bama can escape the Gauntlet of games with teams off of bye weeks…
Who is gonna win the East of the SEC?
I wonder which coaching offices in the SEC are having the more colorful conversation this morning…..1) Urban Meyer and both Offensive and Def Coordinators 2) Derek Dooley and his Def Coordinators(not stopping them on 4th and 15, forget the 5-5-3 goaling B.S.) 3)Coach Richt and the AD, and whole staff, complete with GA’s. 4)LSU’S AD, and Les Miles and the voices in his head. 5) Fans of Julio Jones calling Bama’s AD wondering why we don’t throw the deep ball to him more often and we run the ball too much and teams are gonna figure that out soon.
Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
not 5
"You know, we had a lot of fun tonight. But there's nothing funny about vapor lock! It's the third most common cause of cars stalling. So please, take care of your car and get it checked!" -Joe Namath
A Picture Of The Future
“If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stomping on a human face — forever.” — George Orwell
…not that I believe that, as a Bama fan, but the shot of the cleat suspended over Brantley brought it to mind.
It really is NOT true. Over on our RBR, I’ve read excerpt after excerpt of writeup after writeup proclaiming Alabama as Supreme Ruler and Illustrious Potentate, and I’ve been around long enough to know that all you have to do is call a team “unstoppable” and “without equal” and they are doomed.
The first example that comes to mind is 1992 Miami, who said that they shouldn’t even have to PLAY us in a bowl game – that they should be allowed to play a pro team.
“Hubris, ate”.
The 1992 Nebraska Marching Band
got held up in Miami International for nearly 15 hours after a) losing to Florida State in the Orange Bowl AGAIN and b) getting drenched for the second time in 24 hours. Imagine 300+ college students imprisoned in a non-smoking airport with slowly moldering wool band uniforms, no clean clothes remaining (because we were at the end of a bowl trip) and no money for the super-spendy airport booze (again, bowl trip over).
In that miserable stretch of time, two things made most of us happy. 1: watching our administrator chain smoke what seemed like an entire carton of cigarettes while ripping the shitty charter airline representative a new asshole. 2: watching miserable Miami fans flying home with their tails between their legs after getting their asses pounded by ’Bama. I became a lifelong Gene Stallings fan after that game.
"...when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to."
— Martin Luther
The Worldwide Leader had to hire a professional cleaning service
to clean up all the Troy Smith Kool-Aid they ralphed up after the 2006 Buckeyes met their fate.
We'll get there when we get there.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Oct 4, 2010 1:13 PM EDT up reply actions
Really...shouldn't the Utah Sugar Bowl debacle keep SOME humility at the fore?
Oh wait…we’re talking Bama fans.
And let's not forget
the Greatest College Football Team Ever, your 2003 Oklahoma Sooners.
I am now channeling Will McDonald's optimism.
They played like they didn't even like football...
Really liked that line. I wish every media outlet had sports journalists who did colorful write-ups like this one. Orson you are keeping alive the old “Four Horsemen” style. Actually my dream come true would be to raise James Joyce from the dead and have him write reviews on football games in the tone of Finnegan’s Wake.
The Ghosts of Tuscaloosa Salute You, Herr Schwindle
My earthly husk is buried in the old cemetery en face the stadium where you spent some time Saturday night. In 1886 my parents sent me across the ocean from Bavaria to America when I was only sixteen because all boys my age were being drafted into the German army for conversion into cannon fodder. When my ship docked in New Orleans. I expected to see red Indians on the shore aiming arrows at me, but there were none.
I had the clothes on my back and a friendly uncle in Alabama to live with. Later I lived in a little house across the street from the church beside the cemetery. I worked hard and prospered and my four children attended the University of Alabama. One fine day in 1920 I was murdered by a lunatic in North Carolina, so here I am, a denizen of the neighborhood you recently walked.
I have observed the stadium grow from its first construction into the giant people-holding layer cake it is today. On days and nights of games I move up and around and watch the gaily colored people come and go. I sense the anger, the fear, the giddy delight, the hate and the hilarity.
I was perched on your shoulder Saturday as you cracked wise then winced with pain and shouted disbelief, as hopes were dashed again and again, and then there was no hope, only time left to pass through. I sensed some of the germs of ideas as they were borne into your head for the tract above. I asked my great grandson to send this message for me with one of your instant time correspondence machines.
Well done, sir. I enjoyed reading your words very much. You and your team and coaches are all fine young men, bloodied but unbowed. It is not time for friends of Florida football to go out looking for split rails, or for tar and feathers. Remember – unlike most others, your team’s larder is full to bursting.
I wont be able to make it to Atlanta, but you will. Good luck, my son. Most of Shackleton’s boys made it, and yours will, too.
Well, whaddayaknow? It IS Saturday!
by Grampaw Fug on Oct 4, 2010 6:17 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
Why is James Van Der Beek so upset about losing his transvestite girlfriend?
That’s what’s happening in the Chicago video, right?
The Worst Thing About Florida Losing...
…no likely Corrine Brown tribute to Corch Meyers and the no-jive policy of them Gators.
Stolen from RBR
Auburn and Tennessee fans are a lot like Slinkys...neither are worth much but you do get a sense of satisfaction from pushing them down a flight of stairs
by bamachine on Oct 4, 2010 8:05 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Winning sign there!
Awsome and saved on the hard drive.
Bull Sullivan "Toughest Coach there ever was"
by Another damn Dan on Oct 4, 2010 11:34 PM EDT up reply actions
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