GEORGIA/FLORIDA: A PEEK INSIDE THE MIND OF OFFENSIVE GENIUS
A copy of secret bye-week memos leaked to EDSBS by an inside source in the Florida program. Please, no press inquiries for the origin of these materials. We protect our sources with the ferocity of a lobotomized honey badger.
From: DivemasterAddazio@uaa.ufl.edu
To: Urbz@uaa.ufl.edu
RE: UGA gameplan
Here's what I've been thinking up all week. This is gonna kill. I promise. Really, it'll work this time. Not like last time.
That's our standard speed option. We're having great success with it. It averages 5.5 yards a carry* when we run it with John Brantley. It could be better, though. I've got the tweak for this week attached.
*In games against non-SEC opponents except Miami of Ohio. They were tough!
We run the same play, but here the blue line represents the sideline. See, if you run it starting five yards from the sideline it allows for even less time for the defense to react! This is gonna kill. Absolutely gonna kill.
(Sneak attack! The wide receiver is actually lined up in the first row. If we have our usual officiating crew no one will even notice.)
The all-hitch is one of our standard calls, but defenses have been crashing in on our receivers recently because they don't think we're going deep. The easy answer to this would be to call any number of plays: crossing routes, skinny posts, hitch and gos, or other mid-range to deep-field passing plays. That's the obvious thing to do.
We don't do that here at Florida.
BOOM: The no-yard hitch. Looks like there's nothing going on, right? WRONG. At the snap everyone just stands there and waits for the ball to come to them. Think about it: Brantley can go anywhere on the field with the ball here! The toughest throw is over the slot receiver, but it's a throw we're confident he can make. If nothing else works, he can always hand off on the draw. It's gonna kill. Absolutely kill.
The third base play of the UGA game is a good one. LIttle unconventional, I know, but you really should see what they've got going on in this game.
I mean, here's the wristband they use.
We'd have to strip out three of the pass plays, of course, but I feel like this gives us a chance to spring some new and effective stuff against Georgia.
DIVE DIVE DIVE,
-Coach A.
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Comments
This is almost entirely believable
But the lack of crayon and smudges from Girl Scout cookie debris makes me wonder…
by Run Home Jack on Oct 27, 2010 12:32 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
The only thing unbelievable about this...
… is somebody scoring a touchdown on a punt return.
Shenanigans, I say!
"I've made a huge little mistake." - G.O.B.
by Joey C. on Oct 27, 2010 12:34 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
... in Tecmo Super Bowl that is
No “Preview” button for this guy, no sir.
"I've made a huge little mistake." - G.O.B.
by Joey C. on Oct 27, 2010 12:35 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
That and I suspect Addazio gives all his players dumb nicknames
“Grendel lines up in the shotgun with Mr. Boots next to him, staying in to block. Boston Market, you run a wheel route. Electrical Tape will fake the slant and then run an out and up. Now remember, Ted Knight, you block and then release upfield!”
by Run Home Jack on Oct 27, 2010 12:41 PM EDT up reply actions 6 recs
Totally appropriate.
Ted Knight, releasing upfield, will get nothing and like it.
"...when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to."
— Martin Luther
by Go Big Rev on Oct 27, 2010 2:37 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Naturally
Boston Market’s wheel route will be sloppy and have unsatisfying results.
I'm too angry to sing.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Oct 27, 2010 2:38 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
The sad part is
that this game plan works with Cam Newton
by Adama36 on Oct 27, 2010 3:00 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
"That's pretty genius."

“We LSU need to be the ONES de – sign – ing these plays that YOU ALL are running and putting and PASTING on TO the web. Like fake field goal bounce pass play. We coach em up. BEEN coaching em. I love this team. Great DAY. I’m still having one.”
by Adama36 on Oct 27, 2010 3:09 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Fight any sucker in this country
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TE_XhSybFNs&feature=related
I am not drunk, just overserved
by Gen. Stoopnagle on Oct 27, 2010 4:10 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Too bad this isn't about Kentucky basketball
Because those fans would have believed you and then went on a two-month spree of writing hit pieces on Orson saying, “whatever he writes is false, here’s proof.”
"Too much awesome on my feet."-Brian Wilson
"Time for the laser show, boys!"- Aubrey Huff
"We kicked their ass, we drank their whiskey, and we took their plane."- Mike Krukow
by 49er16 on Oct 27, 2010 12:39 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Chief of the Watch Addazio, do you concur?
I concur sir! Message is authentic!
by Oscar Whiskey on Oct 27, 2010 12:41 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
From: underreview@ncaa.org
To: DivemasterAddazio@uaa.ufl.edu
Re: Your inquiry.
Dear Coach Addzaio,
In response to your inquiry, after further review, we have determined that sideways yards do not count toward first down yardage in college football. However, we are pleased to inform you that, if you wish, you may immediately snap the ball out of bounds.
Sincerely,
NCAA Rules Committee
I'm too angry to sing.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Oct 27, 2010 12:42 PM EDT reply actions 15 recs
Oooooh, look, diagrammed plays and such
We just give the ball to Noel and hope.
/yeahstillbitter
Hey Oliver Luck, I absolutely hate that WVU is "the winningest college football team to have never won a National Championship". You think you could do something about that?
by MtnEer_in_SC on Oct 27, 2010 12:45 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
eyes. goggles. nothing

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
by Sasquatch Love on Oct 27, 2010 12:46 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
patently false
I see no ‘OLE!’ written on our offensive lines blocking calls.
...i'm not falling asleep; i'm just fading to black...
by Boozy McHound on Oct 27, 2010 12:47 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
The truly sad thing is....
Those plays may still work on our “d” (notice small d, there, see what I did?). Hell if Willie was still in Athens, I’m sure they would work!!!
um, where are we going, and why are we in this handbasket?
by Big_Mikethebulldawg on Oct 27, 2010 12:52 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
leaving Rambo unblocked is fine…
For some reason he will be 50 yards away. Vance Cuff will also be amazingly out of position- and committing a personal foul.
"It’s not Disneyland, people. Get the hell out of the way." NYC Firefighter
by jokastrength on Oct 27, 2010 12:52 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Vance Cuff=Vontaze Burfict?
Apologies: Burfict would be committing a personal foul in the middle of the play and in full view of all cameras.
Because college football is too important to be left to the professionals.
by Spencer Hall on Oct 27, 2010 12:58 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Cuff sometimes is so far out of position he ends up making a good play.
/free particle secondary D
"It’s not Disneyland, people. Get the hell out of the way." NYC Firefighter
by jokastrength on Oct 27, 2010 1:01 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Vance Cuff = Vontaze Burfict
Only without all that pesky “talent.”
"Be worthy as you run upon this hallowed sod, for you have dared to tread where champions have trod."
by Silver Britches on Oct 27, 2010 2:06 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I was over Rambo...
When I found out it isn’t completely really his last name.
There is a lack of effort there too, should’ve changed his first name to Bacardi while he was at it. GATA!!!!!
by Vodka and Red BullDawgs on Oct 27, 2010 1:18 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Rambo is the worst player with the best name that I've ever seen
Of course, Al Davis will take him in the first round, but jeez, with a name like that, you’d think he’d actually be good.
Weoejuwejhdjwe!
by Chekhov's Spread Gun Option on Oct 27, 2010 1:33 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Instead of getting inside the mind of an offensive genius, Florida would be better off saying screw that, I’m going to get INSIDE THE MIND OF A GREG JENNINGS
by smartfootball on Oct 27, 2010 12:57 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
Dawg.
Because college football is too important to be left to the professionals.
by Spencer Hall on Oct 27, 2010 1:00 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
So is that guy Florida's next offensive coordinator?
by sidehacker on Oct 27, 2010 2:06 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
special play:
FUCKYOUGUMBY to be specifically used against Les Miles.
by sidehacker on Oct 27, 2010 2:07 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
This is all predicated on the notion that Addazio knows how to use email and is thus patently falsified.
_________________
I'm Banana dammit!!!
by BurritoBrosShits on Oct 27, 2010 1:01 PM EDT via mobile reply actions 1 recs
This is all predicated on the notion that Addazio knows how to draw lines and shapes and is thus patently falsified.
by bobo_w on Oct 27, 2010 1:06 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
LAWYA'D
_________________
I'm Banana dammit!!!
by BurritoBrosShits on Oct 27, 2010 1:07 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
If I were writing this about Mike Bobo, on the other hand, it would be the same series of 3 emails . . .
sent in the same sequence, at the exact same time of day, every day for 3 months.
/yet strangely we would still average 31.5 points per game.
by MaconDawg on Oct 27, 2010 1:09 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Tears of Joy
*except Miami of Ohio. They were tough!
It’s been three years since anyone even dared to think this.
#runs3fakepuntseverygame
by RynoRedhawk on Oct 27, 2010 1:07 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
See, aren't you glad you hired a member of the Charlie Weis coaching tree!?
/bwahahahahahahah
//breathes
///bwahahahahahahahohohohohoho you have no idea
I'm too angry to sing.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Oct 27, 2010 1:27 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
@ #runs3fakepuntseverygame
probably more effective than Tony Franklin running the statue of liberty play multiple times last night.
You can't get there, from here.
by CoastalCowbell on Oct 27, 2010 1:31 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
From: footbawbob09301954@aol.com
To: DivemasterAddazio@uaa.ufl.edu
Re: FW: FW: FW: RE: FW: FW: RE: RE: FW: FW: RE: FUNNNY JOKE!!!!!!!!!!!
HEY GUYS.
I SAW THIS FUNNY JOKE AND I JUST HAD TO SHARE IT WITH ALL MY FOOTBAW GUYS!!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Forwarded message begins here>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Q: WHAT DID THE FOOTBAW SAY TO THE PUNTER?
A: I GET A KICK OUT OF U!
LOLZ!!!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>End forwarded message>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Bob “Footbaw” Davie
Foobtbaw Guy, Footbaw Analyst, and Footbaw Coach for $$$$
1-800-PUNT
Contact for footbaw coaching services! Serious offers from Texas A&M only plz!!
I'm too angry to sing.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Oct 27, 2010 1:19 PM EDT reply actions 7 recs
This should be published
“A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Idiocy”
by RumblinBS on Oct 27, 2010 1:33 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
So, does EDSBS HQ have a live lobotomized honey badger?
Which makes me wonder if this MAGNUS that you speak of is actually your child or live security system that requires full time care/control.
Or do the staffers just act with the ferocity that a lobotomized honey badger would have?
We're 8-0.*
*this signature designed to manufacture rage in 8 out 10 bama fans
by cowcollege on Oct 27, 2010 1:37 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
There's a place in Decatur that sells lobotomized honey badgers.
I don’t know where it is or what it’s called. But I’m sure there must be one. It’s probably next door to the Hooka Hideaway and across from Bill Curry’s Pho House and Pawn Shop.
by MaconDawg on Oct 27, 2010 1:48 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I can haz unsubstantiated hair-pulling rumor?
I'm too angry to sing.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Oct 27, 2010 2:21 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
BOOM! Roasted!
/seriouslythat’sgoodshit
by Spartan D on Oct 27, 2010 2:45 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Wait ...

1-2-3-4-5, them Gators don't take no jive!
by RamboTambo on Oct 27, 2010 1:54 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
I’m Cam Newton were still at Florida we’d probably have Rex Grossman here at passing coordinator and every play call would have the quarterback ripping his shoulder off throwing it as far as he can.
by GatorTrey on Oct 27, 2010 2:09 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
No I'm Cam Newton
you’re Spartacus.
Weoejuwejhdjwe!
by Chekhov's Spread Gun Option on Oct 27, 2010 8:35 PM EDT up reply actions
Missing:
The audibles to Pouncey snapping one to Ocala.
by Counter Trap on Oct 27, 2010 2:11 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
From: Snyder, Mark
To: Holtz, Skip
RE: EDSBS
I gave up 5.5 yards per attempt on that sorry speed option play? If you need me I’ll be on the intramural fields committing hari-kiri. It’s been a pleasure working with you. Say hi to your dad.
Voodoo Five - South Florida Bulls SBN Blog
The Toughest Blog in America
by Jamie DeVriend on Oct 27, 2010 2:11 PM EDT via mobile reply actions 1 recs
(dammit, fat-fingered and hit Enter too soon)
RE: Dad
> Say hi to your dad.
I will…unless you see him first.
(I do worry about his heart whenever he loses a case before Judge Rece.)
by Blog Goliard on Oct 27, 2010 3:24 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
From: GERG@GERG.umich.edu
TO: Richrod@umich.edu
Rich- I’ve been thinking about the defense, and I suggest we run a 1-2-7. One solid NT, 2 LB’s, and then a combination of 7 undersized safeties and special teams gunner. We are here to win and I believed in my heart that removing all cornerbacks from the scheme will confuse Penn State.
You’re asking yourself, “Why are there only 10 players on the field, instead of 11?” I’m glad you asked. I want the fellas to taste what it means to win, and I feel that if they’re better rested, then we have a better chance of winning in the 4th quarter.
Yours in hair,
GERG.
by blanx73 on Oct 27, 2010 2:29 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
"Why are there only 10 players on the field, instead of 11?"
This was highly recommended by the efficiency consultants that were hired by the University to improve performance. Their study and subsequent findings show that giving up 550 yards to an opposing offense can be done just as well with 10 defenders as with 11, thus leaving additional scholarships available for hyperfast quarterbacks with erratic arms. You can never have enough of those.
by Spartan D on Oct 27, 2010 2:44 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
FW: CHECK OUT THIS SCOOP!!!!!1!!!
From: sports@annarbor.com
To: newsed@annarbor.com
Check out this e-mail we just FOIAed from UM. Obviously, this is an attempt to gain an unfair competitive advantage; we’ve got two guys going through the NCAA bylaws now to figure out which chapter the violation falls under. Looks like we’ve got our Michigan AP award entry!
From: GERG@GERG.umich.edu
TO: Richrod@umich.edu
Rich- I’ve been thinking about the defense, and I suggest we run a 1-2-7. One solid NT, 2 LB’s, and then a combination of 7 undersized safeties and special teams gunner. We are here to win and I believed in my heart that removing all cornerbacks from the scheme will confuse Penn State.
You’re asking yourself, "Why are there only 10 players on the field, instead of 11?" I’m glad you asked. I want the fellas to taste what it means to win, and I feel that if they’re better rested, then we have a better chance of winning in the 4th quarter.
Yours in hair,
GERG.
by Golden Hand on Oct 27, 2010 3:15 PM EDT up reply actions 6 recs
I love this comment
I want to marry it, and have little comment babies with it.
by blanx73 on Oct 27, 2010 3:25 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
That ain't legal in this state,
and we don’t take kindly to that ’round these parts.
/spits
I'm too angry to sing.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Oct 27, 2010 3:42 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
We don't take kindly
To folks who don’t take kindly ’round here
/SouthPark’d
by PalmettoTiger on Oct 27, 2010 3:46 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
and you'll both go to jail
for the four little babies…you made and delivered along the way
/drive-by truckers’d
//look this up Michigan fans
by JunctionCrimson on Oct 27, 2010 10:18 PM EDT up reply actions
Last night you had a dream of a Lord so forgiving
He might show compassion for a heathen He damned
You awoke in a jail cell, alone and so lonely
Seven years in Michigan
/had a wierd need to listen to ‘World of Hurt’ yesterday
//ended up being an 8 hour work day of Truckers on shuffle
///Late for Church = all time top 5 songs, too bad they’ll never play it live :(
...i'm not falling asleep; i'm just fading to black...
by Boozy McHound on Oct 28, 2010 9:56 AM EDT up reply actions
From: OC4Lyfe@utexas.edu
To: DivemasterAddazio@uaa.ufl.edu
RE: UGA gameplan
BOOM: The no-yard hitch.How dare you steal my only play!?! It is great success.
Truly yours,
Greg Davis, Esq.
Horizontalism is its own reward.
I don't always watch football, but when I do, I prefer Dos Achos. Stay thirsty, my friends.
by jc25 on Oct 27, 2010 2:51 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
From: iwanntextyouup@olemiss.edu
To: DivemasterAddazio@uaa.ufl.edu
RE: UGA gameplan
What works well for us to is have the QB just run around and just make shit up. Allow him to improvise. Kinda like stand up comedy, just improv your way thru it. Sure, the crowds may be rough at times, but the laughter is worth it. I know. I have been to some of your games, and you have been to mine. If you want to add to the comedy, allow him to throw it. Now your guy is a gunner, where mine is a runner, so you need to run your guy more, just for laughs. Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose, but its really for the kids. I love your ideas on working the unexpected “short side of the field” on the QB keeper/option/QB fall down or get tackled by backside pressure play ya’ll run. If he was to pitch it on the last second, the RB may get to get out of bounds before getting hit, saving him for another play. Its really a non gainer, just a clock burner because I know your theory of clock management is more refined than that crazy hat wearin sumbitch in Louisiana. Tell your D-coordinator for future reference, its ALWAYS a fake with that guy.
Hotty Totty,
Houston D. Nutt,
The “D” is for DEEZ NUTTS!….Get it???
The beatings will continue til moral improves.....
by mrpelicanpants on Oct 27, 2010 3:09 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Real Man of Offensive Genius Dept:
I’ll tell y’all who’s the Real Offensive Genius…..and that is
Tim Brando.
Every time he opens his hole, he offends.
by SKLM on Oct 27, 2010 3:05 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Date: Wed, 27 Oct 2010 13:41:21 -0500 (CDT)
From: Mail Delivery System <MAILER-DAEMON@progidy.net>
Subject: Undelivered Mail Returned to Sender
To: Brent Musburger <lookinlive@progidy.net>
This is the mail system at host mail.progidy.net.
I’m sorry to have to inform you that your message could not be delivered to one or more recipients.
For further assistance, please send mail to postmaster.
If you do so, please include this problem report. You can delete your own text from the attached returned message.
The mail system
<orson.hall@iwisheverydaywasasaturday.blog>: Host or domain name not found. Name service error for
name=iwisheverydaywasasaturday.blog type=A: Host not found
by softbatch on Oct 27, 2010 3:08 PM EDT reply actions 16 recs
And folks, I gotta tell ya
I should just stick to the ol’ fax machine.
I'm too angry to sing.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Oct 27, 2010 3:13 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
No apologize
This funny.
"I've made a huge little mistake." - G.O.B.
by Joey C. on Oct 27, 2010 6:32 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Lou Holtz
Is completely confused by these comments.
and noodles.
and magnets.
"It’s not Disneyland, people. Get the hell out of the way." NYC Firefighter
by jokastrength on Oct 27, 2010 3:20 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Driving the joke into the ground
To: alwaystan@uga.edu
Subject: RE: Florida Game
From: Saban@bamafootball.edu
Date: Wed, 27 Oct 2010 13:49:46 -0400
Mark,
I don’t have time for this shit.
Nick
>>>>>>>
>From: Mark Richt[mailto: alwaystan@uga.edu]
>Sent: Tuesday, October 26, 2010 10:41 AM
>To: Nick Saban
>Subject: Florida Game
>
>Nick,
>
>Can you help me with the gameplan for this weekend?
>
>Bless,
>Mark
by PalmettoTiger on Oct 27, 2010 3:32 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
From: teamspeedkills@uoregon.edu
Re: Game plan and Interviews
Thank you for your interest in meeting with our offensive staff regarding this Saturday’s game against USC. We can make coaching personnel available for on-camera interviews sometime Thursday morning. Give us a call once you’re settled in Eugene and we’ll fix the time.
We are happy to share our offensive playbook with you, so you may acquaint yourself more fully with our offensive system. We always like to see plays correctly described on television — and you will want to be able to do so with or without being able to take time to view the replay.
Regarding which, we are sorry to inform you that we cannot accommodate your request to “take some time between plays so we can fit in all of our pre-recorded packages features and stuff, and give Brent plenty of time to talk about Boise State and his Montana home.” You’re just going to have to squeeze all that in while the Trojans have the ball. Or — here’s a thought — you could just focus on simply covering the damn game, and leaving the Sportsertainment! to us.
Best Regards,
— 2010 Duck Football
//////////
Attachment: OSPEEDKILLSONO.PDF (7kb)
by Blog Goliard on Oct 27, 2010 3:39 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
Dear Sir:
I can’t open my email and my secretary can’t open that attachment. Could you send it over the teletype? If it won’t go through at first show a little fortitude and keep trying.
Warm Regards,
Dr. Lou.
P.S. Say, you know who has a lot of fortitude? Pigeons. I keep shooting the ones in my yard and they always come back in swarms even bigger than the day before. I think it’s to dine on the corpses of the prior day’s victims, but who cares? They’re like the japanese infantry of the bird kingdom. Only without rifles. And their helmets look a little different, what with the Slovakian flags on the sides. I remember once I was having dinner with L. Ron Hubbard and Spiro Agnew and Spiro was telling this story about fortitude . . .
The shark. We has jumped it.
by MaconDawg on Oct 27, 2010 4:09 PM EDT up reply actions 5 recs
True story:
At the company I used to work for, I was below the average employee age by about 40 years. I sent a guy in another office an email with a spreadsheet attached, and about an hour later, the fax machine suddenly started beeping and spitting out paper. The guy had printed out the email I sent, circled the attachment icon in magic marker, written “WHAT IS THIS PLZ FAX!” and faxed it back to me.
Old people. Ha.
I'm too angry to sing.
by Ancient Chinese Secret on Oct 27, 2010 4:23 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Careful now, youngster!
I was programming in FORTRAN IV on punch cards while you were still shitting yellow.
/insert older than rocks and dirts joke here ;-)>
Hey Oliver Luck, I absolutely hate that WVU is "the winningest college football team to have never won a National Championship". You think you could do something about that?
by MtnEer_in_SC on Oct 27, 2010 6:56 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
I had to rec everything in this thread, it was so hilarious.
Then I realized what I was signing up for. If I keep reading, I’ll be reccing everything from here till sundown. Then I recalled I was at EDSBS. Ah, the bar, the bar. So high the bar.
Dammit, just know that I have mad respect and gratitude for every freaking poster here. It’s been an unusually creative and delightful commenting period.
by gamedaytribe on Oct 27, 2010 7:46 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
The pigeon thing was the only thing in this illustrious thread that actually made me LOL.
rec’d
by ToStirItRound on Oct 27, 2010 4:48 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Proof you've never seen a Willie Martenez Defense*....
- 2008 Sugar Bowl excepted….cry Colt, cry!
um, where are we going, and why are we in this handbasket?
by Big_Mikethebulldawg on Oct 27, 2010 4:51 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Well, I was in Athens thanksgiving weekend two years ago.
And in Atlanta thanksgiving weekend last year. ugh.
by ToStirItRound on Oct 28, 2010 12:36 AM EDT up reply actions
FIXED:
I kchhan’t open my email and my slchhecretary can’t open that attassshhchment. Could you schhlend it over the teletype? If it won’t go throuuuuggh at firsschhlt schhlhow a little fortitude and keep trying.
Warm Regardsssch,
Dr. Lou.
P.S. Ssschchhay, you know who haschls a lot of fortitude? Pigeonsssh. I keep shhcccllooting the onesss in my yard and they alwayschh come back in scchhwarmsss even bigger than the day before. I think itss’s to dine on the corpsschhhsesslls of the prior day’s victimssslls, but who carecchls? They’re like the japaneeechhee infantry of the bird kingdom. Only without riflesss. And their helmetsschhs look a little different, what with the Ssschhhlllovakian flagsss on the schhiides. I remember once I was having dinner with L. Ron Hubbard and Scchppiro Agnew and Scchppiro was telling this scchhstory about fortitude . . .
"So put 2 on, put 10 on, WHAT DO YOU CARE IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE PAYIN' FOR 'EM!!!!?"
-Doug Heffernan, in regards to Arthur and his stamp needs
by Jon Ross on Oct 27, 2010 6:21 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
OMG...Those are offensive plays??
i thought they were directions to the Florida Turnpike!
"For the love of everything holy...NOT Ohio State again!!!
by Girltiger on Oct 27, 2010 4:57 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Date: Tue, 30 Mar 2010 13:07:12 -0700 [03/30/2010 04:07:12 PM EDT]
From: Corch Les Miles <hatsallfolks@lsu.edu>
To: Gutless MF <petrino@arkansas.edu>
Subject: FW: News from the Allen County War Memorial Coliseum!
HEY BOBBY YOU LIKE ALPACAS DON’T YOU THEY’RE KINDA LIKE LLAMAS BUT THEIR FUR IS SOFTER AND YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE TO KILL THEM BEFORE YOU CAN TAKE IT RIGHT OFF THEIR WARM LIVING BODIES THEY STINK BUT THE KIDS JUST LOVE EM YOU’RE IN INDIANA RIGHT? SHOULD BE A REAL QUICK TRIP DOWN TO FORT WAYNE FOR YOU AND THE MISSUS AND HEY SHE’S GOT A PAIR OF BOOBS DOESN’T SHE ANYWAY GOTTA GO CROWTON’S MAKING ME A HAM OMELET
BEGIN FORWARDED MESSAGE——
News from the Memorial Coliseum!
Click image to download our latest newsletter!
UPCOMING EVENTS
Fort Wayne FireHawks vs. Cincinnati
Indoor Football – Friday, April 2 @ 7:30pm
Indiana Alpaca Invitational
Friday & Saturday, April 2 & 3
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disABILITIES Expo
Saturday, April 10 @ 10:00am – 7:00pm
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Tapestry: A Day For Women
Friday, April 23 @ 8:00am – 4:00pm
Register online at www.ipfw.edu/tapestry
Don't celebration when you score goal
by Big Boutros on Oct 27, 2010 7:15 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
I recd the post. That was necessary. But really, it's also for the epic commenting.
Well done, edsbs tribe, well done. You’re an inspiring bunch of people.
OK, I recd EVERY FREAKING COMMENT. Comedy gold, instant classic.
by gamedaytribe on Oct 27, 2010 7:55 PM EDT up reply actions
I was about to say
“Damn, there’s a whole lot of rec’in up in this thread”
You talk about ancient beauty and classical forms...

But if you ask me… you wouldn’t recognize Steve Addazio’s true genius if it was outside in the parking lot waiting to give you hepatitis.
Which it will be. Ten minutes from now.
by Birds of War on Oct 27, 2010 9:15 PM EDT reply actions 5 recs
Dude, I'm not sure what the hell that is, but it looks FABULOUS.
rec’d Cause we rec’n everthang up in here
Bull Sullivan "Toughest Coach there ever was"
by Another damn Dan on Oct 27, 2010 11:33 PM EDT up reply actions
Well see, the linemen are made of circles cause they're fat...
Truth is, sometimes when I have nothing to do, I like to huff a bag of paint thinner and channel my inner Steve.
Can anyone forward this to Urban? I’m feeling a job offer.
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by fortlauderheel on Oct 28, 2010 9:04 AM EDT up reply actions
We need to get one of the BHGP guys to do a JoePa email in this style.
I’d try it but I’m not nearly as funny as they are.
dot-dash-dot-dot-dash stop dash-dot-dot-dot stop
SpamBot Sez: "AF tank woman $17"
by CoastalCowbell on Oct 28, 2010 9:10 AM EDT up reply actions
Too bad Dr. Lou
shot all the carrier pigeons.
Has anybody ever seen Addazio
and Jesse Ventura in the same place?
I think that may explain a lot about the offense.
Pig Pen this here's Rubber Duck, and I'm about to put the hammer down.
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