A lot has changed in the world since we last spoke with our very most favorite pen pal. Up is down. Down is sideways. And we've learned that, among other things, Alabama can lose to South Carolina. It's a world gone mad.

Jonj4310@aol.com, for his part, has evolved from "dude who greets frank and chipper talk of sex acts with weird sexual innuendos regarding the writer's father" to "dude who reacts to cuss words by impugning the writer's sainted mother." So, really, we've all grown.

We digress. Jonj4310@aol.com is back, and it turns out he's not too happy with the phrase "EASTERN MOTHERFUCKING MICHIGAN." We swear to Sutekh we're not making up this subject line:

Begin forwarded message:

From: Jonj4310@aol.com
Date: October 18, 2010 2:15:41 PM EDT
Subject: BAD WORDS!


Holly, three questions.

Was it your Mom or Grandmother who taught you the words: Mother Fucker?

Second question: Does the use of these words make you feel like a man?

Third Question: In the 4th quarter of tight games with everything on the line did your cup ever ride out of your jock?

Couple things:

1) With their first win since November 2008 in the books, we feel like Eastern Michigan's more than earned a little salt on their tongues.

2) Jonj4310 is clearly not a Mustache Wednesday aficionado, or he'd know both where we learned the word "motherfucker" and that it is, in fact, one word.

3) But as long as we're on the subject: We never knew our maternal grandmother thanks to one particularly nasty sort of lady cancer, and were in school overseas and unable to say goodbye to our paternal grandmother thanks to another. We'll be writing a check to support breast cancer research in Jon's name this week. The memo field will read, "ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT ORAL SEX."