MACK BROWN WANTS YOUR SANDWICH FOR TEXAS
by Spencer Hall on Jan 29, 2010 4:12 PM EST
Email
PrintMack Brown sits in a crowded diner. A TOTAL STRANGER sits next to him.
Mack Brown: Hi, I'm Mack Brown. Yes, that Mack Brown, coach of the finest football team in all of college football, the Texas Longhorns. Why yes, that is me. Really. Here's my National Title ring to prove it. Why, it's nice to meet you, too.
I couldn't help but notice that...sandwich. Yes, that sandwich. The one that just landed on your plate. They do make a good one here, don't they? It's the best! The meats are all the kind of quality you'd have to pay double for anywhere else. It's a miracle you get so much for so little here, but still with the kind of loving care we try to put into coaching our football players. If I were a more literary man, I'd call that Sandwich the Texas Longhorn. I know, it's not imaginative, but it's representative of the kind of quality we try to put into our program every day for the fine men and women who make up the great state of Texas.
I was wondering...could I just have it?
via www.burntorangeexpress.com
I mean, don't get me wrong. I know you ordered it. I know you're hungry, just like we're all hungry for the good things in life like success, and championships, and Colt McCoy. I know you want it as much as you've wanted anything in your life, both because you're human, and because frankly you're a little fat, and probably like sandwiches more than even the average sandwich-loving American does.
I don't mean that to hurt. You're not? No, not fifteen. Ten at most, and even then you're still lookin' pretty good.
/winks
/smiles
/nods
And I know there's a sandwich on my plate. We're just fortunate like that here at Texas. There's sandwiches all over the place here. Big ones, piled with fresh ingredients and bursting with flavor. This one's loaded with chili peppers and will probably make me say a few things young children shouldn't say. I call it the Will Muschamp, because it's fiery, passionate, and can't be purchased in the state of Tennessee.
But your sandwich...it just looks so good. It's not that I need it, it's that Texas needs it, total stranger sitting next to me at a restaurant bar. Texas needs good sandwiches no matter how many they have. Tell me you want your sandwich to be part of the great things we have going on here.
TOTAL STRANGER: I dunno, I'm pretty hungry, and I know you already have one...
via i.cdn.turner.com
Mack Brown: I have puppies. Glorious King Charles Spaniels. Give me your delicious sandwich, and Hook 'em Horns.
Puppies: WOOF! WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF!
Total Stranger: Well, how can I say no to puppies!
Mack "Two Sandwiches" Brown:
via www.texags.com
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*ATTN: STEVE JOBS*
Mack Brown will have an iPad against the ear of every iPhone 3G owner in 90 days.
by Luke Zimmermann on Jan 29, 2010 4:20 PM EST reply actions
It has wings!
Will Ebners Hit Parade, Pain TV; Channel 32; All the time! (PDT)
by MarioVanPeebles Republic of China on Jan 29, 2010 4:50 PM EST up reply actions
that's great recruiting class you got there Texas
you should try to recruit a QB that doesn’t break upon contact with an SEC player
sympathy has expired Longhorns
January 7th, 2010: the day I went from being a delusional obnoxious Alabama fan to being an obnoxious Alabama fan
I'm a Bama fan
what’s your excuse?
January 7th, 2010: the day I went from being a delusional obnoxious Alabama fan to being an obnoxious Alabama fan
by Wallacewade04 on Jan 31, 2010 9:45 AM EST up reply actions
Did he also drink his milkshake?
I'm Banana dammit!!!
by BurritoBrosShits on Jan 29, 2010 4:32 PM EST reply actions
You have recruits and Mack Brown has recruits. Mack reeeeaches across the room and he.. takes… your… recruits! HE TAKES THEM ALL!
by gosouthgohard on Jan 29, 2010 5:21 PM EST up reply actions
he would eat them
then barf them up after having a change of heart
Beadlemaniacs - Award winning* college basketball blog
You know you like college hockey
That last pic is why he's called "Butterteeth"
Which sandwich has the asterisk next to it?
by 2207 Main Street on Jan 29, 2010 4:42 PM EST reply actions
Butterteeth
That makes my damn day
Changed my SBN user name from WoodrowWilson.
The Ralphie Report - University of Colorado Athletics
That first picture...
…smells like Stetson cologne, barbed wire, and scotch aged 25 years naturally.
First post on EDSBS. My pants are bloddy.
"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."
Okay...the new commenting works from my pseudo smart phone...
we can keep it.
by zzgator on Jan 29, 2010 5:07 PM EST via mobile reply actions
I hope that sandwich has lite mayo on it
Wouldn’t want Colt McCoy spraining another shoulder trying to lift it.
Ha.
Transient cervical neurapraxia actually doesn’t have anything to do with his muscles. Sam Bradford sprained his shoulder. McCoy’s arm went numb — he had a stinger. Try again.
by Wescott Eberts (GoBR) on Jan 29, 2010 5:22 PM EST up reply actions
Well
Glad to know the medical professionals of America, as long as the legal, are spending their time well.
I'm Banana dammit!!!
by BurritoBrosShits on Jan 29, 2010 6:00 PM EST up reply actions
I actually know who this guy is and can assure you that this is a side venture for him.
He works in outpatient PT at a hospital here in KC and is very knowledgeable.
I’m just glad the bananas of America are spending their time well.
I'm glad the comment monitors of America are spending their time well
Beadlemaniacs - Award winning* college basketball blog
You know you like college hockey
It smells new in here...
Unfortunately, I can no longer enjoy EDSBS at work. Expect overall productivity coming out of BR to increase dramatically.
Same here
It’s not completely blocked by our web filter, but the formatting is hosed and impossible to read unless I change the page style tp “no style”.
Same problem at Alligator Army, 7th Floor, etc.
by General Disarray on Jan 30, 2010 4:21 PM EST up reply actions
After a second unlikely National Championship Appearance
its the return of “Coach February.” $5 mil a year for 10-2. Mac Brown = Clown.
"It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on his not understanding it." -- Upton Sinclair.
by Black Francis Bacon on Jan 29, 2010 8:28 PM EST reply actions
I'm plodding to get through all this newness.
Just out of curiosity, will DC Trojan and I no longer be able to comment on the perceived hirsuteness of Erin Andrew’s nether regions? I understand that you’re going mainstream, but what exactly are the new parameters?
Orson, I can understand if you do a salinger and say that “I was unavailable for comment”.
All the way with extra onions and slaw.
by hung like hussien on Jan 29, 2010 9:18 PM EST reply actions
I’m guessing Erin’s pussy is as hairy as a wombat and I believe no one from management will complain that I said so. Your move, champ.
Once a Mountaineer, always a Mountaineer.
by MtnEer_in_SC on Jan 29, 2010 9:42 PM EST up reply actions
I’m sure that whether bearded like a Russian anarchist circa 1895, waxed smooth like a bowling lane of love, or somewhere in between, Ms Andrew’s cooter is a thing of beauty and delight. I wouldn’t know, but this doesn’t seem like a huge risk to say.
DC Trojan .... Post of the New Year!
It’s hard for a Domer to say anything nice to an SC fan, but that post had tears in my eyes. “… a bowling lane of love…” ahhhhhhh
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy!
- Ben Franklin, skirt chaser par excellence
by Charlie Weis's Colon on Jan 31, 2010 10:57 AM EST up reply actions
I’ve heard of this site, I only blog when I’m getting paid for it, and since edsbs was restricted here at work I just heard and never saw… Now it’s on sbn, I can see it but I can’t f"n comment for some reason. I’m on my iPhone now, I just wanted to leave a comment to complain! I can’t comment on the phinsider either, WTF?
"When you argue correctly, you're never wrong."-Nick Naylor
Mack Brown: Best in Show
There’s a reason that Saban and Meyer would never be caught dead photographed with those animals
No, they would
but their would be choking them instead.
Just business. Nothing personal.
by OrangeBritches on Jan 30, 2010 8:32 AM EST up reply actions
The New Digs
are still bullshit. I know they are paying you mad money, but still, its crap. F this noise, I liked your old place better
I had to read this post with Peter Bean's Mack Brown voice in my head.
Congrats on the new digs. We lost SOS and Weurfel and gained avatars.
by Crabapple Buck on Jan 30, 2010 10:31 AM EST reply actions
Nice to see you guys in the SBN hood.
I had to read this post with Peter Bean’s Mack Brown voice in my head.
As Orson intended, you know, since it’s more authentic than the original Mack Brown voice.
Avatars and personal profiles on EDSBS? Oh my, this will be good.
Mack aint all bad
The rascal bought me beer on his UNC credit card at the NC Football Coaches Assoc clinic in Greensboro way back in 1996. Anyone who buys me beer cant be all bad!
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy!
- Ben Franklin, skirt chaser par excellence
by Charlie Weis's Colon on Jan 30, 2010 7:51 PM EST reply actions
When will Coach Muschamp get to eat his sammich?
they will call it the Boom!Mother fokker! and it will consist of two slices of bread, mayo and C-4 covered in gunpowder, wrapped in cordite….and may be served to Mack if he dont retire soon….
"Its a process."..-Nick Saban
by Mr. Pelican Pants on Jan 30, 2010 11:27 PM EST reply actions
mmmmm C-4 and some thermite chipotle mayo
that’ll hit the spot
Great Oden's Raven I love Mike "The Predator" Dixon!
One expensive sandwich!
Of course, Mack’s sandwich is only marginally better than Bo Pelini’s sandwich (and controversially so, at that) for 2.5 times the price.
Speaking of which, how about Mack gives something back and chips in a few bucks to keep the Cactus Cafe (live music venue in the Texas Union) open. Would be an enormous PR coup.
Cactus Cafe?
Sounds like a syphillis infested whorehouse amirite
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDD!!!!!!!
by THETexasStateUniversity on Jan 31, 2010 10:32 PM EST up reply actions
Southland Conference Speed?
With the exception of Texas State, the most speedy thing in the Southland is how fast people drop out of those fine institutions
That was priceless
Players who should be in the Hall of Fame: DIck Lebeau, Pat TIllman, Dwight White, Donnie Shell, L.C. Greenwood, Ray Guy, Steve Tasker, Greg Llyod, Andy Russel, Cris Carter, Kevin Greene and Jerry Kramer
I want to have sex with this moment. And get this moment pregnant. VAsaintsfan after the 2009 NFC championship game
Canal Street Chronicles resident Steelers Fan
Mack Brown is so smoov....
…he gets the recruits to come to him by insulting them and ignoring them, which they can’t stand and sends them into a tizzy. “Why won’t Coach Brown return my calls?? He’s got some other all-state DE on the line, I bet! I better commit now!”
The Verbal Pickup Master…
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