IOWA HAWKEYES: BIG IN KOREA

by Orson on Jan 28, 2010 12:45 PM EST Comment 39 comments

What do South Korea and Iowa have in common? Plenty. Both are rivals with a dictatorship led by an aging charismatic leader and his son. Both are blazing hot in the summer and ball-destroyingly cold in the winter. Both have a fondness for beer and chain restaurants, and both South Korea and Iowa love freedom and democracy. Iowa exercises their love primarily by its unique role in the American primary system, and South Korea does so by periodically erupting in the fiercest rioting on the planet, and in this sense South Korea really wins because their rioting looks fantastic when set to crushing guitar riffs.

The full video of the continuing synergy between Iowa and South Korea is after the jump, and we're just as confused as you are by this. The "Mr. Sparkle" episode of The Simpsons was real, and merely transcribed for your animated pleasure. (HT: Alberta Gael.

Did you find them hot? You did? This man would like to see you.

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Comments

Uhhhhh, ‘NSFW’. If a co-worker had walked in while that was playing, it would have been an immediate and fiery end to my entire career.

by Bobby Decatur on Jan 28, 2010 12:50 PM EST reply actions

I don’t want to know how you found this, Orson. I really, really don’t.

by cantcatchuf on Jan 28, 2010 1:00 PM EST reply actions

That’s three out of my four favorite things in the world right there — football, ‘80s-influenced pop music, and Asian chicks. If only this video had included a fighter jet blowing some shit up with missiles, it would’ve batted 1.000.

by Doug on Jan 28, 2010 1:01 PM EST reply actions

The chief export of Asia is Crazy, as first established by Japanese RPGs. A winnar is you!

Orson, are we going to get the IMF College-Football-as-Countries rankings again this year? That series was awesome.

by Ancient Chinese Secret on Jan 28, 2010 1:05 PM EST reply actions

Does this mean that Iowa thinks StarCraft is a sport? I could see that making sense, Paul Johnson hates teching air so he’s got no mutalisks to counter the Adian Clayborn siege tanks blasting away the backfield zerglings before they even get going.

by I'm A Lasagna Hog on Jan 28, 2010 1:17 PM EST reply actions

Asian chicks love them some corn-fed midwestern boys.

by Middle America on Jan 28, 2010 1:23 PM EST reply actions

Let me translate for you. One of the girls just won a spot as a cheerleader for the Pohang Steelers but does not have enough money to make the trip on her own so her friends are going to take odd jobs around town to help finance her trip. I dont speak Korean but in my mind that is what is happening.

by Mr. Greenfeld on Jan 28, 2010 1:27 PM EST reply actions

This

is ODDLY FAMILIAR

"Jame McGinn...he's magically delicious!" -Drew Remenda

by joe579 on Jan 29, 2010 5:35 PM EST up reply actions

A co-worker? Who do you work for? Ironbox, Steinem, and Dworkin?

by The Lesser Santini on Jan 28, 2010 1:28 PM EST reply actions

The Bucs Super Bowl pennant behind the desk apparently means there is a seven year lag in NFL coverage to Korea.

by mlmintampa on Jan 28, 2010 1:34 PM EST reply actions

What about the iMac?

I think that dates from around 1999.

by Big Red Dog on Jan 30, 2010 10:29 AM EST up reply actions

Speaking of chain restaurants, I so fucking miss masticating at the Iowa’s own Machine Shed.

Why isn’t Spurrier in the “visor” scene.

by meatybob on Jan 28, 2010 1:49 PM EST reply actions

I’m wearing hawkeye gear next time I’m in Korea. I wonder what a Korean prison is like.

crazy IS thier primary export (+1 sir).

How the hell did they even get an Iowa helmet? Sooo confused.

by tzubear on Jan 28, 2010 1:57 PM EST reply actions

Pretty much.

by Bobby Decatur on Jan 28, 2010 2:09 PM EST reply actions

Now that you mention it, JoePa and Kim Jong Il may actually have the same model of eyeglasses.

by DanF on Jan 28, 2010 2:20 PM EST reply actions

Orson, thanks for reaffirming my decision to book that Asia sex tour this spring.

by Eer in the ATL on Jan 28, 2010 2:26 PM EST reply actions

Does this mean Ricky Stanzi now represents all the moral goodness of South Korea too?

by Derrick on Jan 28, 2010 2:27 PM EST reply actions

I’m buying my wife every single one of those outfits.

— GG

by The Fake Gimel Martinez on Jan 28, 2010 2:39 PM EST reply actions

man, I don’t want to live in a country where that is NSFW…

and I am all about #22…yesirree

by BoKno on Jan 28, 2010 2:39 PM EST reply actions

If my wife had walked in while that was playing, it would have been an immediate and fiery end to my marriage.

by ColoBama on Jan 28, 2010 2:49 PM EST reply actions

I thought it was NORTH Korea – not the South which was “a dictatorship led by an aging charismatic leader and his son.”

Clearly I am missing the real joke because youtube is blocked at the office.

by Alex P in Smyrna G on Jan 28, 2010 2:57 PM EST reply actions

Wait. I am a dumbass. Totally skipped the words “rivals with”. Carry on.

by Alex P in Smyrna G on Jan 28, 2010 2:59 PM EST reply actions

Must rewatch Slayer Vid to get that Koren teen pop trash out of my mind.

by Ack on Jan 28, 2010 3:02 PM EST reply actions

That video reminded me of the shows in several places I visited in Olongapo and Subic City while on liberty from Naval Air Station Cubi Point, Republic of the Philippines. It made me smile from ear to ear.

by SC_Eer on Jan 28, 2010 3:07 PM EST reply actions

More South Korean Craziness:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Save_the_Green_Planet!

by MiseanAUFan on Jan 28, 2010 3:19 PM EST reply actions

Wait, does this mean that Ricky Stanzi is automatically included in any USO tours of the far east? I mean he is the walking talking symbol of America.

by RanchyBalls on Jan 28, 2010 3:31 PM EST reply actions

And we all know how people from Iowa love to eat dog.

by MrRedDevil on Jan 28, 2010 3:37 PM EST reply actions

?! Dept:

That video has gotten over 1 million views!!!! Amazing.

by Stacy Keibler Luvs Me on Jan 28, 2010 3:46 PM EST reply actions

As for ladies doing aerobic-ish moves, it’s not Call On Me (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_fCqg92qks) but it will do.

Ps. I guess we can all forgive the IOC for fucking up the ages of those 12 year old chinese gymnasts.

by haveagreatday on Jan 28, 2010 4:23 PM EST reply actions

My high school used to play the military schools in Korea. We always managed to be staying at the embassy in the spring, when the Koreans shake off the snow and find a new reason to hate Americans. It skews my perceptions somewhat, but I don’t remember any of the teams we played with hawkeye logos. They play good football though.

by Joe on Jan 28, 2010 4:24 PM EST reply actions

Pps. Call On Me = Maybe NSFW, maybe not. I am the IT dept around and we promote the 1st Amendment and dicking off so it flies. I guess it just depends on how lucky you are feeling.

by haveagreatday on Jan 28, 2010 4:27 PM EST reply actions

Now you know why that great Iowan Radar O’Reilly spent so much time volunteering down at the Korean orphanage.

by Daniel on Jan 28, 2010 4:27 PM EST reply actions

This is actually a viral marketing video by Seoul U to curry favor for admission into the Big Ten.

by meatybob on Jan 28, 2010 5:22 PM EST reply actions

Ricky Stanzi’s yellow fever apparently means more than corn. Although I could see the Iowa defense trying to actually eat those poor girls… And they’ll be hungry again in 30 minutes.

by chaimy4life on Jan 28, 2010 5:49 PM EST reply actions