FULMER CUPDATE: COLORADO GETS NOT AT ALL SURPRISING FULMER CUP POINTS
by Orson on Jan 22, 2010 11:58 AM EST
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PrintThere are no surprises when it comes to Colorado football and crime today, as the Buffaloes acquire a modest but colorful pair of points for two separate petty offenses involving weed and retro workout gear.
First, Gus Handler, offensive lineman, was arrested for stealing merchandise costing less than $50 in taking some headbands from the campus bookstore without paying. His rationale? He was late for a flight and didn't have time to pay it, a haste evidenced by the smooth criminal leaving his credit card behind at the scene. That's a point with no bonuses awarded for the purchase of retro-ironic hipster workout gear, though it is noted as being something way, way Colorado to do.
We have no file footage of the headbands, but it probably looked a lot like Luke Wilson's here, which he wore shortly before eating that falcon whole.
The second comes from an even less shocking department: weed. Freshman qb Clark Evans was smoking in his dorm room when campus police showed up and found him with over a gram of marijuana in his possession and "a blue-gray pipe" he used to smoke it, showing his freshman status by lacking a quality water pipe with an awesome ceramic sculpture at the bottom.
Two points total for Colorado in the Fulmer Cup, which is a meager total and something they clearly need to step up, as this is not intramurals and is in fact division one football.
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Royal Tenebaums – an excellent comparison to the current state of the Colorado program – a totally disfunctional family that takes itself far too seriously but whose calamities provide much laughter for those watching. I’m looking at you, Dan Hawkins.
by Wes Tex on Jan 22, 2010 12:11 PM EST reply actions
Wait, so, he was arrested in Boulder for SMOKING weed? Are you sure? This is Boulder we are talking about, maybe he was arrested for being in close proximity to some weed without actually taking a hit? I am confused…
Oh and factoid, the City of Denver now has more medical marijuana shops than Starbucks. Mile high, indeed.
by skinnyphatman on Jan 22, 2010 12:28 PM EST reply actions
Mr Evans was just getting in shape for 4/20. It’s only 88 days away.
by yoyofutbawl on Jan 22, 2010 12:30 PM EST reply actions
University of Colorado drug abuse campaign slogan: “Just Say ‘Eh Alright.’”
by CincySooner on Jan 22, 2010 12:40 PM EST reply actions
Patience, it is a long, long winter in Iowa City….. I am guessing an over/under of two alcohol related offensse by next weekend ….
by The Holy Grail on Jan 22, 2010 12:54 PM EST reply actions
maybe the headband thief thought he was stealing Humboldt Headband…
I can see how he would be confused.
by AllWhoYonder on Jan 22, 2010 1:00 PM EST reply actions
Hey now, they don’t bring the steak first. This is just an appetizer.
by ohiodawg on Jan 22, 2010 2:41 PM EST reply actions
I’d note that Coach Hawk’s son now has one less person to beat out at QB next season.
by Gone Gator on Jan 22, 2010 4:22 PM EST reply actions
Both of those happened in December. Why are they being counted?
by Theskipster on Jan 22, 2010 6:33 PM EST reply actions
Get South Florida back on the leaderboard! Lineman Keith McCaskill was arrested…
http://www.tboblogs.com/index.php/sports/comments/mccaskill-arrested-over-weekend/
by G.O.T. on Jan 26, 2010 10:11 PM EST reply actions
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