PIRATES POSSIBLY LOOKING AT COACHING MAYONNAISE

Doc Louis Ruffin, OTOH, is not mayonnaise, not by a long shot. Not piratical, either, but still eminently capable of getting the Little Macs of ECU past the Glass Joes endemic to C-USA.

Mayo with Belgian fries can be the tatas. You just have to add all the garlic and other bits of goodness that most dipping mayos come with.

Long live Mustard! The king of condiments!!!

When in doubt, go with the mustachioed candidate. Kevin Wilson’s strains not mayo, but habanero sauce.

“We’ve even eaten mayonnaise on eggs” Uh, that would be like egg salad, right?

“Mayonnaise is the tits of condiments, and there shall be no dissent.”

Orson, if you’re going to advocate a condiment that’s main function is to make other food go down easier, has little flavor and a bomb bay full of heart attack, I believe I’d nominate butter. Much more versatile and tasty. Or does that fall into the no-fly zone that cheese represents for you?

I like me some Mayo after it’s been properly seasoned, but plain is just awful.

SC_EER: Not quite. Like, as in on an omelet.

UPDATE – Ruffin McNeil has evidently been named coach. But, speaking as someone who suffered thru several years of the white bread and mayo that is Mike Shula (Bama fan), not even ECU deserves that kind of punishment.

Mayo is the genocide of condiments. It is the worst invention of all time. Any interesting flavors it doesn’t outright negate, it covers under a thick blanket of slimy, mucous-y material. Whoever invented mayo should be shot, burned, and fired into the heart of the sun.

Mike- sounds likle you’ve been eating that Hellman’s stuff……..or worse yet, MiracleWhip- try some Dukes!

Ruffin McNeil……..not sure how this is gonna work out.

Uh oh. I think there’s dissent.

BLTs without it are positively arid and prone to shredding the roof of your mouth like a crew of tiny ninjas let loose in your mouth with rusty katanas

Mayo may be good on a BLT, but I have yet to find more suitable condiment for a bacon sandwich than ranch dressing.

Try it tonight… thank me tomorrow.

Condiment Dept:

How ’bout this coach-condiment pairs?:

Mayo-Like Coaches: Mack Brown of Texas, Cheaty McSweatervest of the Ohio State U.

Tabasco-Like Coaches: Saban (who else?)

French Mustard (lily livered): Les Miles

Fancy Mustard (grey poupawn?): Harbough (the one at Stanford)

Ketchup – Urban Meyer

Steak Sauce – Lane Kiffin

Shiracha Thai Hot Sauce (with Rooster) – Leach (who else?) – Burns you going in the hole and also out the hole the next day.

Butter – (any fat coach, Weis, Mangino, Fullmer, if they were still around)

And Ron Prince is….?

HP Sauce. Suitable for anything, good on nothing.

1. - Ron Prince is Hollandaise sauce? – a bit vinegary

@12:

Blue cheese.

Soy Sos = Norm Chow. Because he’s salty.

Condiments Coaches Dept, Continueeeeeed:

Goober (mix of jelly and peanut butter): Bobby Bowden

Cheese Whiz: Lou Holthhh?

Nutella – Steve Spurrier (everyone’s favorite)

Orson: Mayo on omelets? Yeah, I’ve done that with a mayo-based horseradish sauce for steak and mushroom omelets.

Re Nanner Puddin’s post: The Greenville, NC, Daily Reflector is announcing a 5:00 PM ECU Board of Trustees meeting to confirm the hiring of Ruffin McNeil, who’s sporting a snazzy little ’stache in his head shot.
http://www.reflector.com/ecu/four-frontrunners-emerge-pirate-coaching-gig-20642

If mayonnaise is the tits of condiments, does that make Miracle Whip the breast implants of condiments?

Regardless, most of your classic rural Midwestern “salads” (egg, tuna, ham, etc.) taste better with the fake stuff than with the more expensive Hellman’s.

One more Coach-Condiment—- I Promise Dept:

Tartar Sauce – > Houston Nutt (tartar sauce goes good with greasy things, like they have down in good Ole Miss, and I ain’t just referring to the lady folk)

What Belgian fries really require is an array of tasty dipping sauces…such as you will find at Athens’ German-style kebab-and-fries eatery Keba, formerly known as Achim’s (and for a while in between as Uncle Otto’s).

That they’re no longer conveniently located downtown for my luncheoning pleasure makes me very sad…but pleases my doctor.

I am mayonnaise neutral, but the smoked mayo at flip burger (in Atl and Bham) is delicious. Even better than it sounds, really.

#13…Kiffykins=steak sauce…I guess if you mean he is a poor man’s way to ruin a good thing, then yes, he is the A-fucking-1 of college coaching.

Also, I’ll be sold on Sweatervest cheating when he skates out of town with his tail between his legs during an investigation. Then, I will believe. I mean, nothing to do with ole’ PC, he only left for the right opportunity, right?

Coaching Condiments – taking the baton dept.

Horseradish: Bo Pelini. Hot as hell on initial contact, but nothing dresses up meat and potatoes better.

Lane Kiffin as Steak Sauce Dept:

#24: cob: Lane Kiffin has been the “red meat” of the college football world lately. For about a week, Kiffin dominated the college footbaw world, specifically getting everybody mad at him; he united the SEC in harmonious hate, hence the red meat -steak sauce crack.

Red Meat Definition: It is like when the Republicans have their political convention and war and less government comes up (red meat items), or when the Democrats have their convention and people there get all hard-up over higher taxes for the rich (which usually means everybody not on welfare) and so-called rights for the red, black, yellow or brown man and also abortion on demand for the lady folk, but I digress…..

(the above is satire and not meant to hurt the feelings of the more sensitive touchy feely types out there)

“That’s mayonnaise, and there’s nothing wrong with mayonnaise. In fact, it’s delicious as a side dish, especially if you’re Belgium-ing it and doing the fries/mayo/beer combo, which is sublime and heart-stopping in both the good and bad way. We’ve even eaten mayonnaise on eggs, and contain just enough northern European DNA to say that it was good, but would have been better with some herring and heavy cream involved.”

But cheese sends you into dry heaves.

You are a strange, strange man.

+1 on the Flip smoked mayo. Richard Blais is a genius. The fried pickle chips are the diggity as well.

We are Miracle Whip and we will NOT tone it down.

mayo is good for many things, but the worst may be the Smoker’s Cough:

shot of Jager topped with a warm dollop of mayonaisse

the key is to make sure the mayo is warm. great way to ruin your friend’s night.

1. Arid BLT’s that rip the roof of your mouth, this is why i put the mayo on both pieces of toast.

2. BLTs with avocado are also the tittays.

3. Is tartar sauce ubiquitous? If not, when you get some with fried seafood, and you dip a french fry in, its like a full on mouth party. Tartar sauce on fries is the juggs. If you have no access to tartar sauce you can make some by mixing some standard relish with mayo, its close enough.

4. Why, in the name of all that is holy…if they can have every fried food stand known in Atlanta, has some genius not seized upon the idea of a chip shop? with fries in a paper cone and like 70 different sauces. Make this happen and you will have a fucking gold mine. Put it next to Piedmont park or at a mall. Profit margins through the roof.

5. Best french fries hands down——Checkers’. Love that spicy crispy flavor.

6. If mayo is the tits (it is) then Russian Dressing is the apple bottom ass of condiments, at least when used on a rueben/rachel sandwich. Looooove those.

7. Forgot to mention…Orson Only a heartbeat away from becoming Malcolm Gladwell-esque.

Galdwell paid to write about ketchup and mustard: http://www.gladwell.com/2004/2004_09_06_a_ketchup.html

Mayo certainly has its place: you’re absolutely on the mark about BLTs, for instance. But I must insist that mustard is king. It’s the only condiment I put on a burger. Plus, it comes in so many forms: honey mustard, spicy mustard, dijon mustard (which is great in a vinaigrette).

Anyway. I wouldn’t call Mack Brown Mayo-ish. Maybe Texas Pete, or is that too easy?

30 – i just pimm.

Clear the field. There really is a thing called Baconaisse. Baconaisse, bitches!

http://www.baconnaise.com/

Miracle Whip or GTFO.