Sure, Jameon Lewis probably did go to a strip club on his recruiting trip, but don't blame Mississippi State. You know Dan Mullen would have nothing to do with organizing a strip club visit because it requires sitting still, and Mullen can't even do interviews without climbing on an elliptical machine. Strip clubs are out for Coach Twitchy, so it had to be the players who organized the visit to The Pony, (NSFW!) a Starkville institution getting mostly positive reviews for its updated interiors and quality "service." <---suggestive quotes!

As our simulation above shows, though: it could have been so, so much worse. (HT: Charles.)