FULMER CUPDATE: DUKE GETS LETHAL-ISH
by Orson on Jan 18, 2010 3:15 PM EST
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PrintThe big board, brought to you by Brian. His genitals are so large that they have been, on occasion, compared to Reggie Nelson's. Unlike Reggie's, Brian's goods are not seen flapping uselessly around the Jaguars' secondary, so advantage Brian.
Yeah, bitches. That's Duke up there. The Fulmer Cupdate for this Monday, in order from old business to new business.
Next time, go limp. College Station police arrested Texas WR Dan Buckner after he was asked to leave a young woman's apartment and the surrounding complex. Not doing this expediently got him a trespassing charge, and the subsequent struggle with police during the arrest got him a resisting arrest charge. BTW, if you go stiff but only in one special place during an arrest, it's not resisting, especially if they happen to be Hot Copz.
Buckner also takes the early lead in the Mugshot Olympics.
Shit. I am totally getting arrested, and yet still disbelieving the events around me.
Two points for Texas go on the board.
D-U-I-was on my way to see you/ when I got pulled over in my CAR-CAR-CAR. Dominick Legrande, BC linebacker, thought he was fine, but the policeman didn't agree when they pulled him over after trailing him out of a bar noted for underage drinking in Long Island. It's bad getting a DUI. It's worse when you get a DUI in your mother's car, which Legrande was driving at the time of his arrest. "Yeah, Mom. Sorry. DUI. Need bail. Also, your car's in impound where it's being intimidated and possibly molested by the cars that have been in there longer and know the squirrelly ways of car prison. That'll be another $400."
Two points for Boston College.
Duke shows signs of progress towards a conference championship. Three Duke players--John Drew, Kyle Griswould and Brandon Putnam--were arrested and charged with felony possession and discharge of a weapon on the campus. Rules are rules, and even if the three fired off a pellet gun indoors the words "felony" mean a minimum three points for each charge. Thus nine points are awarded to Duke, who continue their long climb upward to respectability as a football program by not only competing on the field, but off of it in the Fulmer Cup as well.
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DDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
by Kevin@LSU on Jan 18, 2010 3:18 PM EST reply actions
9 points? WOW! Now we know why Cutcliffe didn’t take the Tennessee job. It really WAS a step backwards for him!
by tosu fan on Jan 18, 2010 3:21 PM EST reply actions
So Cutcliffe was behind it all this whole time
by Isay Isay on Jan 18, 2010 3:25 PM EST reply actions
Paging Wondy Pierre-Louis. OR does he no longer count since he is a senior, and finished with his football career?
by Meg on Jan 18, 2010 3:30 PM EST reply actions
You have to be an eligible football player, which he’s not.
by Orson Swindle on Jan 18, 2010 3:31 PM EST up reply actions
I like these Boobs better Dept:
Yeah, it is funny that Duke and Notre Dame idiots are making a run at the Fulmer Cup.
But, did anyone see Christina Hendricks’ boobs make The Appearance of the Year at the Golden Globes last night?
Wow, the babe from Mad Men was boobalicious and had them out “there” for all to admire.
by Stacy Kiebler Luvs Me on Jan 18, 2010 3:30 PM EST reply actions
What did ECU do? Hopefully it involved maritime hijinks.
by yoyofutbawl on Jan 18, 2010 3:31 PM EST reply actions
Isn’t the Dookie HC a former Fulmer coordinator? He knows how to run that style of offense.
by SafetyDan on Jan 18, 2010 3:33 PM EST reply actions
Hendrick’s Rocks Dept:
Here is a nice picture of CK, though seeing those things jiggle is second to none:
by Stacy Kiebler Luvs Me on Jan 18, 2010 3:34 PM EST reply actions
Clearly, Cutcliff has Duke headed in the right direction. Mike Hamilton strikes out again!
by Alex P in Smyrna G on Jan 18, 2010 4:03 PM EST reply actions
It’d be cool if Duke won the Fulmer, but I don’t think 9 points will be enough to do it.
by gimlio on Jan 18, 2010 4:12 PM EST reply actions
I can’t wait for Hamilton to start a one man bidding war for the services of Isiah Thomas. Yes, UT already has two good hoops coaches. That is IRRELEVANT!!!
by MrRedDevil on Jan 18, 2010 4:13 PM EST reply actions
Nitpick of the day, or maybe the century:
According to the linked article, the BC player was arrested in Staten Island, not on Long Island.
by Daniel on Jan 18, 2010 4:18 PM EST reply actions
@ 14
Was it beause of the Situation situation, or the other situation situation situation. fist pump
by Kevin@LSU on Jan 18, 2010 4:21 PM EST reply actions
It’s really not fair for Duke and ND. Since most other rules don’t apply to them, why should the criminal code?
- - if true, that’s no small matter
by ohiodawg on Jan 18, 2010 4:24 PM EST reply actions
Good early showing by the Blue Devils, but I’m guessing they’ll have trouble sustaining the drive. 9 points last year was only good enough for a 9th place finish.
My money’s on East Carolina making a deep run this year, new coach and all.
by SC_Eer on Jan 18, 2010 4:40 PM EST reply actions
Certainly Duke is Duke. They’re on TV more than “Leave it to Beaver” re-runs
by haybeav on Jan 18, 2010 4:43 PM EST reply actions
I know this is boring Sunday news, but what’s up with Reggie Nelson? I caught some random article in a newspaper where he took a lot of criticism for making a bad play in two straight games. Has he always strugged in the NFL?
by Tim James on Jan 18, 2010 4:56 PM EST reply actions
And to carry the re-run idea from last year’s FC – and wanting to be the first to say it – What about Carl Johnson?
by hobeg8r on Jan 18, 2010 5:00 PM EST reply actions
Pellet gun? Even their felonies are wussy.
by Just Another Michigan Man on Jan 18, 2010 5:38 PM EST reply actions
I’m just happy to see ND in the top five of anything at this point……
by Domer Guy on Jan 18, 2010 5:40 PM EST reply actions
Funny that the Duke players got picked up. Durham is the kind of town where the cops have a great deal to worry about, and usually are stopping folks from getting killed and that sort of thing. They’re a very… serious police department.
by Joe on Jan 18, 2010 5:48 PM EST reply actions
“Geez, Carolinas.”
For the record, East Carolina is in Carolina NORTH.
Don’t worry, we’ll make it yet.
by Gamecock 'n Balls on Jan 18, 2010 5:51 PM EST reply actions
Nice start for Duke! Problem with a program like Duke, however, is depth. They just dont have the quality depth to sustain this kind of pace as the (off)season goes on. Give ’em a couple of more good recruiting classes, though and watch out!
by im lloyd dobler on Jan 18, 2010 5:53 PM EST reply actions
@Myself: maybe next time before you comment you actually take a look at the FC standings. Dumbass.
by Jack Fact on Jan 18, 2010 6:13 PM EST reply actions
Ah yes, Stacy Keibler – “please, look at these boobs, did anyone see her boobs…” (As long as no one pays attention to the giant boob your trojans hired,eh?)
Good luck with Lane and the impending death penalty, SKLM.
by atlantadomer on Jan 18, 2010 6:40 PM EST reply actions
Doesn’t Notre Dame get a 2 point deduction every month because they are Notre Dame?
by roaminggator on Jan 18, 2010 6:50 PM EST reply actions
Duke: nine points for firing a pellet gun? Lame EDSBS. Your Fulmer Cup was the epitome of integrity. Durham cops over charge Dookies and you act like this was a felony armed robbery or something. And where have I heard about Dook athletes being overcharged by over zealous Durham cops? Can’t remember exactly but I heard it somewhere.
And I hate Dook.
by Greg Dunn on Jan 18, 2010 7:36 PM EST reply actions
Hey, overzealous Athens cops inflated Georgia’s Fulmer Cup score several years in a row and those points never came off the board. Sometimes you have to get some breaks to be a champion.
by JD on Jan 18, 2010 8:42 PM EST reply actions
@ Greg Dunn
We cant nitpick at felonies… sometimes rules are rules and no matter the extreme over-reaction of police, a charged felony is the black & white of it.
by beckett929 on Jan 18, 2010 10:26 PM EST reply actions
Yeah I know a guy that has to get a waiver from a senator to join the army because he got a felony charge for shooting a pellet gun at a stop sign… It is a sucky charge but legit in the eyes of the edsbs fulmer cup…
by cocky scar on Jan 18, 2010 10:49 PM EST reply actions
North Carolina must be the spot for wrongdoing this season.
by Super C on Jan 19, 2010 12:46 AM EST reply actions
Minnesota was just a week short of being near the top of the standings. It’s really a shame that New Year’s debauchery can’t count somehow….
http://www.myfoxphoenix.com/dpp/news/local/scottsdale/gopher-arrested-in-scottsdale-1-6-2010
by Brian O'Blivion on Jan 19, 2010 11:09 AM EST reply actions
Christina’s contribution reinforces that they don’t call it the Golden Globes Awards for nothing. I would think that those things would be disconcerting during sex since the “Booberang Effect” would be from her waist to her chin. Cheez! What are they, 500 mls?
Would her cup size be a “Z”? If she bends over she would remain that way until ass isted up!
Why hasn’t the Fulmer Cup been changed to the Kiffen Cup? The fallout with loss of schollys and prison time is larger than any penalties others have received.
by Cojones on Jan 19, 2010 1:45 PM EST reply actions
@33 Reverend Al Sharpton’s candle-light vigil starts tomorrow night to take back the night from the pellet-peoples. Too bad Pressler can’t be fired twice.
it IS preseason for the lax team.
by Crystal Mangum' s Lithium Pillz on Jan 19, 2010 6:24 PM EST reply actions
A question for the Gators. Do you award any Fulmer Cup points when a sideline reporter on your radio network is charged with felony possession of child pornography?
You stay classy Florida!
by alex hamilton on Jan 20, 2010 12:57 AM EST reply actions
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