Urban Meyer will use whatever flavor of skycake necessary to get a recruit.

Atheist: "Kid, there's just one life, right? Don't fuck it up by going to Florida State. Cause, you know, it's not like you're coming back for another shot."

Baptist: "I have pictures of you holding a beer at a party last night, and will send them to your pastor."

Radical Muslim: "An infidel Zionist like Mark Richt will never give you a fair chance."

Jewish: "You want that I should tell her her bubbe is going to some place that won't take care of him, eh?"

Yazidi Kurd: "Don't worry. I will take the color blue out of our uniforms."

Zoroastrian: "We love fire. I'll set the Swamp on fire for you. Literally." /sets Swamp on fire.

Catholic: "Is would exsisto obviam templum doctrina quod logic permitto vos vado alicubi alius filius."

Satanist: "Well, yeah...I guess you kind of have to go to Alabama."

Scientologist: "You're quibbling over four years out of a billion year service contract?"

Mormon: "I checked with your ward. Doing a year in Alachua county qualifies as mission work in a third-world country. Plus, we have ATVs and stuff."

Buddhist: "Sign. Or not. Either way I'm cool."

Taoist: /doesChinesecalligraphy

/ignoresrecruitaltogether