CURIOUS INDEX, 1/15/10

Can anybody find me...

He works till he aches his bones...at the end of the day, Mike Hamilton takes home his pay all alone. He tries and he tries and he tries, and some people say he's got water in his brain, and at this point this is really the best possible explanation for his job performance: hydrocephaly. David Cutcliffe shut down Tennessee's offer to make him the next head coach, meaning Tennessee has been rebuffed by:

a.) Air Force
b.) Duke

Read that again, pour a nice glass of cognac, and sniff its aromas thoughtfully while contemplating that epic level of rejection. The sad part is that we had a whole post about how to make your own David Cutcliffe at home, which involved drawing a face on our thumb and putting a little baseball cap on it. Your loss, world. Tennessee now moves on to the general grab bag of current assistant (Kippy Brown) and [Current Successful Coach at a Smaller School Goes Here]

The heart attack inducing sports radio rumor of no value whatsoever overheard by Ragin' Cajun on Louisiana sports radio that should instantly kill three percent of all Tennessee readers reading it even though we're sure it's just someone trying to spread malice like nutella across the baguette of our lives: Ty Willingham! BOOM. The other ludicrous name of the day is Bo Pelini.

Sexy. Charles Barkley really did say on The NBA on TNT last night that Lane Kiffin must have pictures of famous people having sex with a monkey. If these pictures exist, I only hope this is that monkey.

Shawty Groh/He got flava AL GROH IS COMING TO GEORGIA TECH PREPARE TO DIE FROM A PASSIONSWORD IN YOUR CHEST ACC. The double vision you are seeing is the sensation hot blooded defense gives you when it leaves you as cold as ice from all the head games it plays with you before it shows you what love is by ramming nine inches of juke box hero up your ass. This will leave you with a blue morning indeed, and in the middle of an urgent emergency. You're damn right we think Al Groh cranks Foreigner 24/7.

Pales in comparison. The cock rock of Groh-mentum is overshadowing it for sure, but Georgia will quietly sign Todd Grantham, d-line coach for the Cowboys, as their new defensive coordinator after Tennessee's FAILparade overshadowed the Bulldogs' lottery for defensive coordinator.

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