CURIOUS INDEX, 1/13/10

CANNOT UNSEE!

We’ll miss you Layla…We really will

Plz God or whatever, Leach to Tennessee.

So, if ties are like incestuous first base, shouldn’t moral victories be, like, fingerbanging your cousin?

RonPrince4UT!

While I am enjoying the crazy shit at UT, I think I would like a Third Saturday in October annual meeting between Saban and Coach Boom. You know, until we lost.

Kiffin is akin to the Tazmanian Devi roaring into Knoxville and the SEC, stirring up and destroying shit, then roaring out of town just as fast. I’d love to see a Freak creation with that.

The Beverly Hillbillys move to LA, LSU freak’s best ever.

I cant keep up with this shit! If only the actual season was as eventfull.

Everyone should read the piece by Pat Forde- “Paris Hilton has paid more dues than Lane Kiffin.”

I would just like to point out amid all of the Kiffin-bashing that Tennessee showed no loyalty to two former players/successful coaches prior to the Kiffin hiring, so my heart does not go out to them. Why should any coach be loyal when almost no administration or fanbase around the country would do the same for them?

All the hilarious excitement about this news, and Dr. Saturday makes a snarky blogger jab at Urban Meyer.

Get the man a drink, or a hooker, or something!

Tim,

It was actually a snarky jab at Tennessee becoming a stepping stone program.

Does Forde actually get paid to write? If so, when he trots out the 100-year-old line about being born on third base and thinking one has hit a triple, shouldn’t he quote the originator of the line or at least acknowledge that he’s borrowing a cliche?

I got 75,700 Google hits for born on third base hit a triple.

Forde is early leader for sportswriting originality for 2010.

Am I the only one still trying to get over the fact that Kiffin couldn’t even be bothered to tuck in his shirt?

Forget putting on a tie. Forget, even, buttoning one of the buttons and straightening his collar. He couldn’t even be bothered to tuck in his shirt to give Tennessee the 60-second-press-conference kiss-off.

Or to sit down. I’d have also reacted better to sitting down and staying awhile. (A full 90 seconds maybe.)

One other thing. Okay, I understand that DACOACHO’s antics may escape being an actual live recruiting violation on a technicality…but still. The new USC regime winds up engaging in at-best-borderline recruiting practices before they’ve even left the building in Knoxville. Either Mike Garrett is reckless, is an idiot…or he already knows who will permanently take Myles Brand’s position, and has really good blackmail material on him.

Anybody but Cutcliffe. Dude OWNS the Dawgs.

Houston Nutt is the only logical choice, since UT likes to hire coaches with no accolades to speak of.

Chris Peterson has probably had to change his phone number because it won’t stop ringing.

Sweet Jesus.

 I have constrained myself from commenting about the troubles of UT in the past because to do so seemed in bad form relative to torturing small animals or raping the handicapped. But this has got to be one of the most awesome heaps of FAIL ever amassed in such a short period of time. Hey UT Fan, remember your life of just a couple of years ago? The marriage between you and Phil? You kids seemed to be like any other average Tennessee couple living in any of the innumerable trailer courts that sprawl like the milky way across your state. Of course things weren’t perfect, your man was a little overweight and smelly, he was never going to get to plant manager, but he loved you and came home every night for supper. He was a shift supervisor, after all, and that was more than most of the other hillbilly wenches could boast. But in the night, writhing in the sticky, furtive moments of your obligatory acts of physical love, you closed your eyes and sometimes thought of what it would be like if it wasn’t him in your bed, but someone like that Herban Meyer boy who drove that fancy car and lived in that big house on the hill. He seemed so young and clean and ambitious. (and you couldn’t forget all the whispers you heard about his….thing) It was said that he owned everything around, including your trailer park! But you pretended to hate him, oh yes you did, pretended he was symbolic of everything wrong in the world. (But gawd if you could get him in your trailer you would tear them britches offa him and get you a taste of that THING….) So it wasn’t a big surprise when the big talker breezed in from out of state you threw yourself at him. His Daddy was supposed to be some Big Shot down south and he was going to take over and show that Herban and that Saban boy from the next county that you were a real classy lady deserving a life like theirs. You ran your poor fat faithful man out of the trailer faster than somebody could say "restraining order" and commenced your new life fully expectant to bear the heirs of this pretty young stranger who suspiciously enough didn’t smoke or know much about NASCAR. And his….thing wasn’t as big as you thought it would be, but that was OK, too. You just knew it would be no time before he was nailing an eviction notice to the door of that house on the hill and the two of you would be moving in. He made you do things you had been raised to believe were dirty and wrong, and you did it anyway, even when it was in front of cameras and in public, where other people could see your shamelessness. You knew it would be worth it, you just knew it! You made excuses all year to the other girls about how you and your man couldn’t get ahead because that Saban boy and that badbadmean Meyer had bribed Governor Slive and wasn’t letting your man get a fair shake. You didn’t know they were rolling their eyes at each other when you weren’t looking, and whispering that it was the crack he made you smoke that had ruined your brain. But now you have awoken and he is gone, that pretty stranger has left you with your trailer rent 2 months past due, a cable bill full of pay-per-view porn, and a broke toilet full of the remnants of the last year’s diet of stale bread and sour lunchmeat from the "manager’s special" section. Your filthy acts are all over the web and your shame is infinite. The good news is he is gone and you can finally shower. He never let you bathe after he took you that first time, said he liked it that you smelled "claimed". Go get you some help, girl, it will get better. They say that nice Obama man got some programs to help folks get clean and catch up their bills. I bet you Phil would take you back. He hasn’t been with no one else since you split with him. He wants your life back. Go to him, Go to him. Nobody will blame you. Hell, nobody would probably even notice.

Thank God for Tennessee fans. You are his special children

I’d hate to be the coach who has to come in and try to convince the Vol player’s that he will, in fact, stay around for a little while.

The guy urinating on and burning his Kiffin t-shirt last night was epic. If any of y’all missed the YouTube links last night, go back to the comments and find them right this minute.

I can only hope and pray that if my Bulldogs ever have the misfortune of having as sorry an excuse for a human being as Kiffin for a head coach, I will have the wisdom and courage to hate his guts, vociferously and publicly and deeply, from day one. And to not buy anything with his name or face on it in the first place.

I feel for those poor Vols who decided to give the guy a chance, and thus actually did have Kiffin paraphernalia sitting around to burn. If I’d ever succeeded in swallowing my doubts during Dennis Erickson’s last pass through Moscow (Idaho’s another longtime rooting interest), that could have been me.

I wish USC was a stock so I could short it. Trust me, in three years, Tennessee will be thrilled that Kiffy is gone (and Leach is there? We can hope).

Fantastic compilation of Freekery coaching demise.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0R_UC1BiZPw

Aren’t USC fans worried about whether Kiffin can beat UCLA?

take heed my dear diehard ’Bama fanz – when you hire a mercenary he may take you to great heights but he will walk out on you like he walked out on the last battle

coaches that stick around are rare… better start jacking up that paycheck soon!!

BoKno…and Bo tell

That “riot” was lame. As someone on the Something Awful forums put it, “when white people riot it looks like a 5k fun run.” Good job vols, you managed to set a mattress on fire. You riot less hard than WVU fans celebrate a victory

BoKno,

Are you serious? Lane Kiffin had a terrible record and lost his last game to VT. Then he walked. Nick Saban has been at UA for 3 years. He has won the SECW 2 times, SEC 1 time, and is a few days removed from a BCSNG victory. He has recruited a bunch of kids that will continue this pattern. If he left UA today, I would shake his hand and say thanks.

@21 Brian, way to read the blog. Sorry.

@17 The [Enter] key is just above [Shift] on the right. Use liberally.

CapstoneAlum – yeah, that’s exactly what I hear coming out of Louisiana ever since he left

oh…and next time he says he loves Alabama and will be there a while, picture him in a Miami Dolphins shirt/cap

Kiffin = 2010’s Erickson

UT Fans, sing with me: "Unbreaaaaaak my heaaaarrt . . . "

“yeah, that’s exactly what I hear coming out of Louisiana ever since he left”

What exactly does the behavior of the nutria lovers have to do with the future actions of UA fans?

“oh…and next time he says he loves Alabama and will be there a while, picture him in a Miami Dolphins shirt/cap”

Nick Saban left LSU because he had to try out the NFL. It was a terrible decision, and he has mentioned several times that he wishes he could have done things differently, i.e. not leave LSU. He is 58, in college ball at a place that gives him total control, and at the top of the CFB world. That sounds like some pretty good reasons to stay exactly where he is presently. However, the biggest mistake one can make is to rest on the premise that man is logical. He could leave UA tomorrow…but if he did, he would leave us in the same position he left LSU in. That is clearing out space for a crystal football, and stocked with enough talent that a knuckle dragging troglodyte like Miles could win another. Sounds like a good deal to me.

With that said, the AU/NW was highly entertaining. I’m glad your team was able to get out of that 5 out of last seven (including 2 biggest rivals) losing streak.

i think ms. petrino is starting to pack up her house again (does she ever actually unpack the boxes)…congrats UT

Blog @14 – I noticed that, too.

And another thing (from the ONE psychology course I took) – as he was saying how (generically) great the TN fans were – he had his arms crossed. Which means – according to Psych 101 – he didn’t mean that, either….in other words – I hated my entire time at TN- except when I got to fire the secretaries. Smokey is lucky he survived the mess. Wait a minute….when was the last time anyone saw Smokey?

I think the new staff is fairly obvious:
Mike Leach – Head Coach
Mark Mangino – Off Coordinator
Jim Leavitt – Def Coordinator
If those guy can’t beat those kids into champions, who can?

Now the only thing to wait on is for Kiffin to start running his mouth and talk about what a bunch of hicks the Tennessee fans are.

There is a precedent for the Vols — someone has already turned around another 1990s MNC holder that was brought low by an Oakland Raiders reject: Bo Pelini. That would open up Lincoln for Mangino.

I’d love to see a Freak creation with that.