THE INTELLIGENCE REPORT: BCS TITLE GAME

And since October 17th have not played a game without SEC refs.

Let the game(s) begin.

Hey Orson,

There is an open html link code somewhere, the links are screwed up.

Anybody know the actual kickoff time? I really don’t want to watch all the horseshit. Plus, I think I have to watch the Tudors first to appease my wife.

I think there was someone on here talking about how Alabama’s line is so well coached they never get called for holding, and the one time (Oct 17th?) was someone having a brain fart and grabbing a jersey unnecessarily.

So I guess you either have conspiracy theory or you have Nick Saban / Alabama coaching staff mythos. It’s bright and playful fantasy either way you go.

By the way, Swindle. If there’s not a “Bowl Season Explained With Graphs” in the next few days, you’re dead to me.

I can already tell tonights game will be the low-point of my year.

@ Silver Britches: If I were a sports betting man, my sport betting website would say it’s an 8:35 kickoff…so actual kickoff will be right around that time…

Tiny Floating Matthew McConaughey sez: “Awlright awlright. Hey Garcia, don’t bogart all those Andy Capps Salsa fries. Awlmost gahme time and I don’t wahnt to send you on another munchie run. AH AH AH AH AH AH AH AH….”

http://i.imgur.com/gmnRw.jpg

Everyone is a Phony Dept:

These Bama fans are awesome!

http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid13955385001?bctid=60711724001

After living through the last flare-ups of the Cold War and the first wave of punk, after dealing with a decade-plus of hearing that song ad nauseum in state and then even longer as shorthand for something-or-another out of state, after all that—and then hearing the version above—I have touched the face of COTG. Orson, I am truly in your debt.

Are they SERIOUSLY still on about Ingram’s dad? Come on.

HOLY MARK MAY DESIGNER SHADES!

Gators just nabbed George Edwards as DC…

Apparently, he is the “father of British ornithology”:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Edwards

Mark May clearly just watched Reservoir Dogs.

Designer shades?… Nah.. Those were transition lenses…

My offseason would have been made brighter if corso had stroked out on live tv… Cause that would mean ESPN would finally have to yank his sorry ass…

If Corso goes, I hope they make a call to Noir Rich Brooks.

THAT DID NOT JUST HAPPEN.

I see your Kool & The Gang and 2 plane flyover, Orange Bowl. Well played. I raise you Josh Groban and Flea and 8 planes! You won’t top me in manufactured hype!

What. The Hell. Was that.

Is the Yale coach now with Alabama?

As a Big East honk, I feel I should warn you that this is the ref in our league whose crew will call any ticky-tack penalty they damn well please, all night long. I hope this doesn’t come into play later.

somebody tell herbstreit that his mike is actually turned on. He can quit yelling.

Have we talked about the fact that the second woman in the Taco Bell commercial looks like the hot one from Sex and the City?

Garret Gilbert.

Where does Texas find these names?

Weird game already. What a way to go out for McCoy.

Although an SEC homer, I am rooting for Texas. I won’t have to deal with their delusional fanbase should they won.

Did the texas band raid Reba McIntyre’s 1980s wardrobe closet?

Hate to see Colt out, though if Bama keeps playing the way they are, it’s not like it would have been a contest with McCoy still in.

Maybe Bama should start holding.

Paul’s Johnson, not only does Herbstreit yell, but he will start talking the minute the ball is down and not stop or take a breath until the ball is snapped again.

The ESPN/ABC cabal has been talking about Ingram’s ‘yards after contact’ all day, so Musberger will be riding that pony until it needs to be put down.

“Greg Davis trying to keep it simple…End around now…He’s going for those high percentage plays…”

Huh?

Everything’s bigger in Texas, except porcelain quarterbacks.

@ Softbatch

????

You wanna bet its not 10-7 or 14-7 (or worse) right now with a healthy McCoy?

Without him, Texas is reduced to playing rugby.

Fate twisted two titties: those of Colt McCoy and those of Sam Bradford.

Whose titty was twisted harder/at a higher voltage?

McCoy, easily. If you’re going to have the whole thing ripped out by a sidewinder, at least get it over with in the first game of the year. Don’t wait until all the chips are in the pot before you get drilled in the back by a helmet.

and it’s over

goodnight, folks

Speed… Fast… Holy shit…

And with that try, this rugby match is effectively over.

Congrats to Bama. That’s was a real kick in the balls to McCoy and Texas fans.

Crash, I think you took my [admittedly bad] wording backwards.

Bama were playing badly early on, and I was trying to say that if McCoy had stayed in and Bama continued to play poorly, the game wouldn’t have been a contest—my implication trying to be that Texas would come out on top.

Nick Saban just took a kitten, painted the name “Gilbert” on it’s side, put it in a burlap sack, tied that sack to a tree, and grabbed himself a big, thick oaken stick…

….I guess leaving McCoy in all those games in order to run up his stats really isn’t paying off now, is it Texas?

Well, I’m checking out at halftime. Really unfortunate, this one looked like it might be the first interesting BCS bowl this year. Oh well, SEC chalks up another MNC, and Bama knows deep down that they got away with one this time.

Gilbert Garret’s though process, HT: Michael BAMBOOMPOWKERPLOW Bay:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IUH3JQjcweM

Shit just got real.

Well, according to the Doc Saturday liveblog, Colt’s arm is being amputated for gangrene.

^^reputable sources

This game sucks.

Texas has to take risks, go for big plays. They won’t because McCoy is gone. But, they have no chance if they play conservatively.

Orson should have liveblogged this. At least, then, we could have turned this into a delicious, schadenfreud-y drankin’ game.

Unfortunately, “Drink every time Kirby Smart shouts ‘Bukkake!’” would kill all of us.

Greg Muckelroy.

Ny wagering on Texas +4 was predicated on Colt playing QB the whole game. I want my money back! Fuck.

And another thing, UT is not top 10 w/o McCoy. Not this year or next.

TCU is watching this game and thinking, “What the fuck?”

BSU, rather. Alcohol starting to take precedence over your puny “facts”

And half the nation changes the channel to Jersey Shore…

Bama has women the likes of which CT can only dream of. An Alabama 6 is immediately nominated for apotheosis. And they get Shrek to direct their band for the BCS NC game?

SERIOUS QUESTION:

Did anyone else see that Taco Bell diet commercial?

I love how Mack said that it was “just a shoulder.” I’m no genius, but don’t QBs generally need those?

And I thought there was no reason left to watch this abortion. Thank you Tide band and Ms. Bette Midler.

Doug @ 54:

Yes. Only in America (God bless it).

This game is meaningless without McCoy. What a shame.

Alabama’s band described with one acronym: FUPA!!!!…

And fire corso…

Marcel Dareus says, “If Jack Squirek can do it, by God so can I”.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fkE7OVc8Rw

As a Million Dollar Band alum, I can say that Dr. O was always awful at picking songs. What a shame. Also, that kid that ran in the last touchdown, that’s the highlight of his life. One day he’ll be telling his grandkids about the awesome play he
made at this game. Sweet Jebus, Roll Damn Tide.

Alphabetical

O is for Ohiostateish. See Florida v Ohio State. texas panicking late in the second quarter once they accepted the fact that they were not the better team. anywhere on the field.

Lee Corso sounds like he’s drunk/shouting in Gaelic. (They’re practically the same thing).

colt mccoy doesn’t play D. And they had two chances to get touchdowns. And the Texas receivers would run the same three routes they always do. That jump of the screen play would have happened as well. Oh well. That’s football, and the game wouldn’t have been that different had McCoy been healthy. They run an offense that minimizes the choices the quarterback has to make, and while that’s good for most quarterbacks (it decreases the variability of the offense), it lessens the overall impact of the quarterback on the game.

64-
That’s really transparently dumb.

64-

Admittedly, McCoy wouldn’t tackle Ingram; you really, honestly, in no way can actually believe what you’re saying.

I’m sure Greg Davis is thinking: “Frosh, regional hero: what’s the difference?”

joe-
really???
The game would be very much different if McCoy were still in the game. Do you honestly think he’s been a heisman trophy candidate the last two years if he were just a system qb that passed to receivers running “the same 3 routes” everydown. Dont insult your own intelligence son.

1. is pretty tame compared to the diatribes Bama fans must be composing right now to explain why McCoy’s injury had no impact on the outcome. Shit, give it a week and they’ll find a way to say McCoy’s injury actually tipped the scales in Texas’ favor, and the Tide had to summon up all their strength to fight through and win. By September the claimed national title count will have grown by 3. It’s all pretty standard.

the points of the offense still stand. The key is your minimize risks, maximize athleticism, make bets that people haven’t prepared for your specific type of offense, and execute. Their route tree is notoriously simple. It would help if they had a run game, increasing the difficulty of making the read. I’m not kidding, these offenses are designed to minimize the amount of processing the quarterback has to do in order to minimize the absolute worst possibility happening (bad read leading to pick six), and making the reads as quick as possible. Decreasing the probability of the quarterback screwing up decreases the complexity and overall ability required to run the offense. So in that type of offense the quarterback matters less and less as a decision maker and more as an athlete who can make the throws very quickly. However, he gets left out to dry when the defense reads the play- see that bad hitch or the shovel play.

well you can’t cure stupid.

“Security has been called…to remove an idiot”, say Mr. Musberger about someone in the stadium. There is a long list, don’t leave us guessing!

I’m still wondering how Alabama, who has had EVERY break go their way this game (and all season for that matter), still looks very average, especially on offense. Without McCoy this game is utterly pointless…doesn’t get more mythical than this MNC.

70-

Nor can you cure “Utterly Fucked,” which is what Greg Davis is trying to do.

73-

so true, so true. I say let the kid air it out. What’s the worst that happens, they lose?

Leif-

Worst thing that happens is a little bit of entertainment.

This game is like watching a milk truck hit a puppy in slow motion.

70 – Sure you can. Fireworks, lawn darts, fire and aerosol cans, etc. Just have to administer the treatment at an early age.

180 yards rushing before the half. It’s true that colt doesn’t play defense.

75-

Agreed, I just want to see some fireworks. This is worse than the Cotton Bowl. If I want to see someone bleed out slowly Id book a ticket to Juarez.

Musburger: “blah blah blah Tim Tebow blah blah blah” – finish your beers…

signs of life….

joe,

Your info smells like shit, probably because it was just in your ass. Texas runs a pro-style offense with elements of the spread that Vince Young ran, but tailored more toward McCoy’s strength: accuracy. Something that, as you might have noticed, his backup lacks, overthrowing several open receivers in the first half. It’s a complex offense that relies on McCoy’s decisionmaking ability, and also his ability to run the ball (something he is quite skilled at). Gilbert is not a threat to scramble whatsoever. This means Bama doesn’t have to worry so much about losing contain, and doesn’t need to commit a linebacker to QB spy, freeing someone open to jump screens or shovel passes.

But if you’re saying there’s no difference between McCoy and Gilbert Grape, I’m probably being trolled.

Mr. Leif-

In spite of Texas’ sudden spark, I think we all know where this is going.

We need an EDSBS Field Trip to Jaurez. If you survive the first night, Orson owes you a hooker of questionable age/gender, baggie of blow, and a big cup of some unfamiliar, rank, incandescent liquid.

Man, the “onside kick drilled at opposing players groin” play really needs to become about 1000x more common.

“Texas playing with a lot of heart”

Absurd intangible reference; chug!

A HA!

The taco bell diet commercial! It is real!
If there is a God, would He let that happen?

This game got sadder with the Tooth Fairy commercial.

The Rock’s “miami swagger” has changed to “the birdcage gayness”??? Michael Irvin is disappointed at his fellow hurricane’s new tendencies…

Allow for a moment of stupid here. But if people are tired of Tebow for 4 years just think what would happen if Gilbert somehow rallied Texas for a victory. Not happening because they insist on throwing the screen that hasn’t worked all game every series but just a thought.

Air it out. Texas is fucked one way or the other. Scarface this fucking game. Every other play should be deep to Shipley.

These PI calls are going against Tecksis both ways. Embarassing.

To 84: Denise the Taco Bell employee needs to get a restraining order on that creepy stalker guy.

Alabama has never committed holding OR pass interference. Interesting.

fatduck: the mike still shows crash, but you’re right, they haven’t called contain in the half- just shown a lot of blitz and drop. However, they’re picking up the formations really well. The call on the comeback coverage- which may have been pass interference- was solid, the corner used the sideline very well. I’m not sure if Saban calls that in or the Mike. My money’s on the Mike. McCoy’s a great quarterback, but you can’t convince me that this offense is that complex. Especially when compared to other pro sets- ND or Stanford spring to mind. Stanford runs over seventy looks- haven’t seen that out of Texas, especially with a spread route tree.

Will someone tell the refs that it’s overkill to give Bama all the calls at this point?

So, is there a new rule that Bama can’t be called for PI or holding on either side of the ball? FWIW, 35 of Alabama’s 60 yards on that drive came on penalties…

oh, and Mr. Doug,

I’m all for the Juarez field trip, provided I can bring my AK-47.

leifreiksen= Gilbert Arenas?

How Bama fans manage to still nurse a persecution complex when even Big East officials are in their back pocket sure beats me.

@ Wright

Nope, just your average Oklahoman.

@ all

This Gilbert kid is growing up before our eyes. Which sucks for the rest of us in the BIg 12. Go Pokes.

I love footbaw so fucking much.

Waiting for musburger to proclaim “we are watching a young quarterback mature right in front of our eyes” – like he did with barkley vs ohio state…

university of can’t cover fast white guys

Just so y’all know, I put my 2009 Sugar Bowl t-shirt on at halftime. UT fans, you’re welcome.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_I8ucLNE5WM

We’ve switched the Alabama Crimspn Tide with Sanka brand decaf. Let’s see if anyone notices…

The Announcer Jinx® strikes again.

Jinxed ’em herbie… Asshole… It was just getting interesting too…

Well, there goes the game’s only chance to be interesting. Oh well, woo SEC!*

*Just squeaked by a McCoy-less Texas.

Left Tackle was airblocking… not good if it was his mistake. Maybe he thought there was a back in there to chip?

I want camera shots of Colt crying. Yes, I’m a dick.

they should take a knee. come on.

I like how Bama is trying to score again to hide how embarassingly close this game really was..

See that gatorade bath? Everything may be bigger in Texas, but the hits are harder in the SEC!

On the way home to watch the game I was thinking “Man, I hope Alabama finds away to win and lose at the same time.”

This game almost fulfilled my dreams. I guess Herbie had some $ on the Tide and needed to pull out his broadcaster jinx power to make sure they covered.

Greg McElroy = Trent Dilfer * 1000, you know 911,000

gatorade bath? saban doesnt have time for that shit

Musberger: “I hope that Mark Ingram Sr got to watch the game tonight”.

Since when are we publicly campaigning for convicted felons to get to stay up past their bedtime to watch footbaw?

Gators got a D Coordinator:

http://www.gatorsports.com/article/20100107/ARTICLES/100109652/1136?Title=Sources-Dolphins-Edwards-is-UF-s-defensive-coordinator

Saban is already breaking down film in his mind. He doesn’t have time for this interview, this ‘celebration,’ or this shit. Kill mode: STILL ON.

Dammit, Meyer, work out those defects in your roboalien parts. Someone has to stop Nick.

I thought Florida’s robot was a humorless prick. Saban’s pulled out all of the stops. He won, right?

Fat duck, really?

Alabama didn’t even run a real offense for the first 22 minutes of the 2nd half. Texas was done when they could only get 6 points from two short fields.

I, for one, welcome our new Cybertyde overlord.

Tebow cries
Urban quits
Colt gives up

ROLL FUCKING TIDE!!!!

Who’s idea was it to interview McCoy, and then ask him how it felt.

120 – Yeah… heart defects = quitting. Shoulder torn up and then held out of game by coach and trainers = gives up.

But you’re right about Tebow crying. At least Colt had the self control to carry himself well after the loss.

“How does it feel” is an idiotic and sub-Oprahesque question at the best of times.

When directed to Colt McCoy just then, it was also cruel.

It will be worth it, though, if someone watching that in Bristol has the light bulb go off and declares that there will be fines for asking that question on air in future.

Colt just lost a lot of money by admitting his arm was “dead”… NFL organizations just cringed and moved on to another prospect…

1 for 11 on 3rd down for a power running team. It was a solid 24-21 victory, though.

Good luck on that championship defense next season. It’s not easy.

ROLLLLLLLL MUTHA-FUCKIN TIDDDDEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK ALL YOU HATERS
 
FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU ALLL

The most mythical of MNCs – does anyone really think Alabama wins if Texas has McCoy? This MNC will always come with a big asterisk…

@ chg

What? Didn’t run a real offense? That WAS the Bama offense. They have a heisman trophy winning wrecking ball and an O-line made up of escaped mutant elephants. Running the ball is what they do. Texas stopped them.

I could’ve played. I had no pain, just couldn’t feel my arm but thats just a formality. HEY NFL! I CAN’T FEEL MY ARM!!!!

@ Cocky Star

I don’t know. Farve’s arm was “dead” last year and he made 12 million bucks this year. Plus I’m sure they’ll actually, like, watch him throw at the combine to see if its actually dead or not.

saban finally broke his one egg a year streak. And I just want to remind you’ns that there are only 45 days til baseball season.

Only one sour grapes post, then I’ll shut up.

Obviously, if McCoy had been in the game, it would have been very different (not saying that the LongDongs would have necessarily won).

I blame this loss on two people. Greg Davis and Jesus. Greg Davis for horrible play calling for the first 40 minutes that Gilbert was in. Jesus for the fact that McCoy spent four years pumping him up, and yet this happens. Yo, Hay-zeus, what gives?

Crash

But farve had proven his worth and put in the time to establish that 12 million, no questions asked… Just saying he shouldn’t have answered the question or should have skirted around it somehow… Saying that his throwing shoulder is “dead” was fucking stupid on his part and he could get looked over and his draft status just dropped…

Actually I blame this on three people. Malcolm Williams, you’re dead to me.

Hadoken!

123

Heart defect didn’t exist last year? Or only flares up when they lose?
Shoulder torn up before the game or after Dareus ate his lunch?
Since when does a player’s dad have any input into a player’s return?
Does it happen if he is not a senior and NFL prospect?

Accept it, Bama beat the shit out UF and the WILL TO FIGHT out of McCoy

Alabama is your NATIONAL CHAMPION
Saban is better than your coach
And Alabama is going to be in the National Championship picture from now until you die!!!

at least you’re modest barrister

Yup, no matter how well he might perform at the combine, Colt’s standing will now be reduced and tenuous in the NFL draft, because…um…well, he got knocked out of a game this one time, and we’re sure that never happened to anybody else in the draft this year…

rolls eyes

Here in Seattle the NBC affiliate is showing Dr. Strangelove. Mighty peculiar, yet also mighty appropriate.

Goodbye for now footbaw…see you in September.

CrimsonBarrister:

“Bama beat the shit out UF and the WILL TO FIGHT out of McCoy” has to be one of the most moronic comments I’ve ever read. Enjoy your victory, but realize that it was a fluke that took out McCoy—not even a good hit. If it was a hitl like the one that caused the fumble in the 4th, I’d give you some credit, but now you’re just talking Maker’s-fueled nonsense.

Good luck to all teams in the Fulmer Cup. AKs high!

Bring on the graphs!

and the hubris comes in waaaaaves

Well, i suppose Darth Saban is off to more, shall we say, greener pastures? (cha-ching$$$)

@ 144

You better hope

For those who are mad that we scored that final touchdown, consider the fact that we could have scored another one after the last interception. With nearly two minutes to go, we would’ve been stupid to try and run out the clock and risk giving Texass the ball back.

For those who disparage this win b/c McCoy got knocked out, consider the fact that Texas put all their eggs in one skinny white boy basket. There’s only one QB who can run it a billion times and never get hurt, and that’s Tim Tebow. Texas had one path to victory and it failed.

I’m not going to gloat, b/c Texas could very well have beaten us, but they didn’t.

Bama gave away a lot of games this decade when our QB got sacked and fumbled the ball in our own red zone. It’s not a fluke. It’s just the defense making plays.

rtr Enjoy this Bama brethren.

first, a gracious congratulations to ’Bama – I may be Auburn first, and SEC second, but I am state of Alabama third, so fuck all you other 49 haterz

second, my regrets to Colt McCoy and TX fans, but there is not a quarterback in the nation who could have beaten Alabama last night…without a good running back in the backfield. No running game=fail. That you managed to go undefeated all season with no top-level RB is just a sign of how bad the conference is, and until that changes you will not be seeing any crystal footballs in your future. Take Ingram or Richardson and put him on your side and TX is in this thing to the end.

third, my condolences to the ’Bama nation… because there has to be a growing fear that a mercenary like Saban will one day tire of the Crimson Insanity… he is not a ’Bama Boy, never will be and cannot be paid enough to become one. Either greener pastures or higher challenges will call (West Virginia?) and he will move on….just ask LSU.

Tenn and Auburn both say “bring on 2010” – we are awaiting our chance to play the Natl Champs with glowering hate and passion…. hope ’Bama can say the same TTFN

@ Bokno

second, my regrets to Colt McCoy and TX fans, but there is not a quarterback in the nation who could have beaten Alabama last night…without a good running back in the backfield. No running game=fail.

Strange, because a very bad QB almost beat them last night despite having no running game (as a result of him being a very bad QB, letting them load up 18 in the box). He was 15/40, and thats only after two late game miracle drives. McCoy might have been able to do a few things, like complete more than 35% of his passes (since he completes double that amount, highest % in the country). There were plenty of QBs who could have beaten Bama last night. Unfortunately the only one on the Texas roster is apparently hated by God.

That you managed to go undefeated all season with no top-level RB is just a sign of how bad the conference is, and until that changes you will not be seeing any crystal footballs in your future. Take Ingram or Richardson and put him on your side and TX is in this thing to the end.

Texas WAS in this thing to the end! Without their best player/engine of their whole fucking offense! What fucking game were you watching?!?

As for that conference, its champion has taken your champion down to the wire in back to back title games, each time missing a major piece (Demarco last year, McCoy this year). Seems to me like they are doing just fine.