NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP SPECIAL: BAMA ARTWORK FOR YOUR HOME AND OFFICE

Once I think I’ve seen it all, da Freek blows my mind. Hilariosity to the highest degree.

Cheer to you, sir.

Daniel Moore is jealous of LSUfreek and plans to sue under copyright laws.

Short Saban FTW!!!!!

Short Saban FTW!!!!

Your parodies of Texas have been hilarious.

OH MY GOD. CANNONBALL. It’s so poignant and TRUE.

The site is not accepting my PayPal order

Please send me an order form at houndstoothjacket@compuserve.com

freek for hegemon of all known and unknown galaxies.

I’ll take a Spurrier edition “Desk” shipped next day air, please.

Freek, you’re a fucking genius. + A Pasadena tailgate’s worth of brown cocktails to you, sir.

Funny Stuff! All we need is a Dennis Franchione video conference!

where and to whom is Don flipping the bird?

“The Desk” will make an awesome companion to my other “Great Moments in Alabama Secretarial History” painting, “Wimp Sanderson’s Outstretched Fist”.

This is supposed to be a parody of that Daniel Moore guy right? Nevermind, of course it is.

New decade, same old Freekery genius.

Can we get a Lou Holtz/Mark May special edition during the long offseason, perhaps?

i might not know art, but i know what i like.

And what I like is a line drawing of Mike Dubose nailing his secretary with Steve Spurrier’s face (hopefully with the patented grimace!) superimposed

PS, I forgot to ask what Orson Swindle’s post season plans will be…Spear fishing at the great barrier reef, Skydiving at interlaaken, African Safaris at Kruger national park, Sailing single handed in a 19 ft sloop across the Atlantic ocean, Chasing Tornados with a group of PHD candidates in the central plains, Riding a motorcycle across the Gobi Desert, or Trekking across the amazon to classify new species of amphibians.

Oh my…just noticed the boner on Price.

Yikes.

Re: Brian @ #17

Orson’s going to be busy fetching TCOAN whatever she wants and getting up with Orson Jr.

How about The Last (Cincy) Supper with Mardy Gilyard as Jesus and Brian Kelly as you-know-who?

/became 1000 times less marketable after cincy got blown out by the gaytors

My feelings toward Bama can best be summed up by the great Angryreb.

Dear Ignorant, Drive-by Alum (aka, ‘Friends of the University’):

I’m not sure there are enough creative words in this language or any other that will completely allow me to express just exactly how much I hate you, but I’ll give it a shot. Where does one start? This is like trying to deconstruct the Death Star to sell the copper wiring. I’m overwhelmed with the enormity of the situation, so I guess I’ll just tackle the largest section of this Denny’s Grand Slam breakfast of repugnance first: You and the rest of your fellow fans. The Visigoths. The Picts. The James Gang. MS-13. The complete roster of every single guest of the Jerry Springer Show. All. All of them wither and shrink when compared to the utter horribleness of the greasy masses that accumulate and form your fan base. You are and will forever be God’s lowest common denominator. Lemming-like in your blind bandwagoning, as displayed by your en masse tumbling off a cliff into a sea of white trashiness, you drape yourselves in clothing usually designed for yard work or being home sick with the flu. Now, there’s nothing inherently wrong with showing school pride, but…c’mon. There’s nothing quite so bad as seeing a corpulent family of TAHD Rollers waddling around an outlet mall, dressed in complete concert. In June. That isn’t school pride. That, sir, is the brain-dead, vegetable child born from generations of inbreeding and chronic alcoholism. To put it another way, your collective is more akin to a chicken mcnugget: Cheap, nauseating, of dubious origins, assembled in an ad hoc fashion by drop-outs from the extra parts and undesirable miscellany of chicken plants that wouldn’t be appetizing to the rest of civilized society, and wildly popular with people with IQs hovering around 70.

It’s really quite mind-boggling how such a sweaty-faced cult of personality formed. I mean, the majority of you people didn’t go to school there. A smaller, albeit a sizable chunk, never attend games. No, you’re happy impulse-purchasing the script “A” from a Texaco when you plop your “30 Pack of ’Stones” on the counter, slapping it on the back of your Silverado and driving around your rube-ridden shit hole town with an air of superiority that can only be defined as delusional, if not out-right humorous. You name your children names like “Saban”, already damning a damned child to a life of hard labor and squalor. You have lived your lives vicariously through a program that is the personification of cheating, lying, and skewed priorities. You have canonized a drunk and are looking for the 3rd miracle to canonize the midget-whore you’ve paid for by donating your ill-gotten “Slipped in urine at the K-Mart” settlement checks.

You have cheated and lied (you have 12 National Championships. Right, and the South actually won the war if you look at the number of battles won) your way into fame, and the rest of you calloused-handed worker/yokels are feeding off the teat; nourishing your undeserved senses of accomplishment and propping your false egos.

Fuck you and all that are like you, hook ’em horns, and I hope science will progress enough so that the Bear is revived only long enough to be raped and shot.

Sincerely,

AngryReb

I would say “should have sent a poet” but the only poet who could do it justice is Freek himself.

100 recursive cocktails to you, sir.

I would like to commission Freek for a custom print. Can he do one of Rich Rod refusing a contract from Mal Moore? It would be called, "Dodging The Bullet".

@ #5 I think they’re just trying to stir up the Bama “everyone hates us and persecutes us and wants us to lose” paranoia just because its so much fun to watch rabid Bama fans get into a lather about it.

I’ve seen some of the other works of art that couldn’t be featured here due to space limitations and would like to report:

The “Spurrier at the Desk” Limited Edition ($499) painting actually has Mike Shula doing the duty, and if you look closely in the background you can see a game film review monitor with JPW throwing his first SEC TD pass in junk time at the end of the game. There’s a thought balloon above Spurrier’s head with an Agusta National fairway.

The Franchione painting ($199) features CDF leaving Tuscaloosa under darkness of night with crap all over his nose, squinty beady eyes, and darkness in his narcissistic soul (if the sociopath even has one).

Kudos to Freek on these.

17

Orson will be accompanying Tressel on his summer vacation travels this year. Hopefully, Mogadishu will be on the itenerary again.

Just caught the Mike Price bonerz, damn. You catch something new with every viewing, can I pick them up today?

Re: nafoom’s greatest @ 21

Wow. I mean…just wow. That was greater than a Harrison Ford right cross.

I’m gonna have Angryreb’s diatribe read aloud at my funeral. Thank you.

’Stache on Genius Dept:

Awesome.

Just one recommendation on the Saban-Tebow-Meyer masterpiece:

Add a bunch of 5 star recruits running away to other teams.

@EarsWhitworth

The Desk II has Wimp slap her after Mike is finished.

Also, Bama Coach Hiring Rule #1: Don’t hire anyone named “Mike.”

17 & 25

I am not sure if “Jimbo Slice” will be making his off-season trek after winning the Rose Bowl. Perhaps a few check-ups on how Noir Rich Brooks is handling retirement? Or maybe the off-season shenanigans of the Detestable Mr. Leach? I have noticed that one character has been particularly quiet around here. What are the early odds on “Evil Richt” making a big splash in Spring Drills?

LSUfreek’s genious knows no bounds. I’ll laugh for the next 8 months over this.

We relish in your hate Angry Reb. Oh, and I fucked your sister.

Re: The Cannonball

It’s violent and sexual . . .

/Wedding Crashers

I need to know where to send my check for $5684, I want the full, complete set…

@ 33

Way to put AngryReb in his place and not personify his point. You fucked that sister, Snake. Fucked that sister indeed.

As a Bama fan….I find these pictures hilarious! haha

Angry Reb – I LOL’d.

Bodily Fluids Dept:

I imagine Angry Reb spitting right after he (or she) finished that rant (comment No 21).

Ah…so Freek is the artist for the Professor Brothers. It all makes sense now.

Glad to see the Dawgs and Rebs out with the haterade…It’s not like we haven’t most recently settled it with the form,er. And, as to the latter…well, let’s just say that Bully has been to Atlanta. Have you?

If I was an Ole Miss fan, I would be angry as well.

There’s still room on the bandwagon if you want to hop on and feel what it’s like to win a NC.

Angryreb / nafoom’s greatest,

Based on the “reb” part of your name I can only assume you’re a fan of the University of Mississippi. Given that, I can only thank you for reminding the rest of us that no matter how bad Alabama is, we can always point to Mississippi as an example of something worse.

Re: der schatten @ 41

I applaud your self control in being the first Bama fan to mention the 2008 Bama-UGA game without the requisite "Who knew tha blackout was their own funeral! Dur hur hur".

NOT USING 15 MONTH OLD INSULT NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP ROLL TIDE

Dear AngryReb,

I’m touched that you found the time to invest in, what is obviously the finest writing to come out of Oxford, Mississippi in two centuries. It’s good news that there is at least one Colonel Reb fan that is sober enough to actually sing the praises of Ole Miss and support them with the profits you make from the catfish ponds and the chicken houses. I would hope, one day, your Law Practice will be just as sucessful. I know the University of Mississippi was overwhelmed by your family donation to the athletic department of not one, but two treadmills you picked up at Sam’s Club, and the tailgate fish-fry at homecoming this year. For next season the Mississippi Alumni are considering you for Grand Marshall at the Homecoming parade, thereby eleminating the possibility of your incarceration, as happened last year, for streaking. All of your friends know it was not your fault and was caused by Early Times. I sincerely hope you and all the fine Mississippi alumni will enjoy another decade of NCAA Division IIA Football. If you’re ever in Mountain Brook, drive your Kubota over and we’ll crack open that bottle of Ancient Age you gave me for Christmas.

Yours in Christ,
The Bama Hammer

P.S. – Tell your wife I still have her half can of SKOAL she gave me while you were in jail last year. I’ll cherish it always.

Paul Finebaum and sex should never ever be in the same sentence

If The Desk was combined with Cannonball, you’d have a Sex Cannon(ball)

@21…wow, Rebel fans making fun of Bama fans? At least we didn’t have a fucking clan rally this year

Freek, Orson, Holly…+1000 cocktails to all of you for getting me through another SEC season with enough humor and zaniness to keep me from having nervous breakdowns each week. Can’t wait for tommorrow…I will either be in a cloud of happiness or in an underground bunker of despair, but either way, it’s been a hell of a season and something I’m damn proud of.
Now off to begin my tailgate so that by gametime I will be somewhere on the coherence scale between “Keith Richards during recording of Exile on Main St.” and “Gary Busey”

You could replace “Dubose” with “Marc Curles” and the “bangee” with “Georgia” and/or “Arkansas” and it would still work.

DuBose’s secretary is frowning because she’s ashamed of her adulterous ways.

Hilarious stuff! So many details to enjoy, including:

-Mike Price’s hard-on, which I overlooked the first time I looked at the pics.
-Not only Terrence Cody doing a cannonball into a pool, but also him being drawn to look like a Thanksgiving turkey.
-The frown on the secretary’s face in the DuBose picture.
-Nick Saban shown as half the height of Mike & Don Shula.

Fuckin hilarious.

Shouldn’t that last one cost $3,200.13

LOL

Spectacular!

A triumph!

Dear Angry Reb,

While the State of Mississippi has produced many fine writers, (John Grisham, Eudora Welty, William Faulkner and Tennessee Williams, to name a few), you are not one of them.

Please do not reproduce. You are a faulty unit.

You don’t work for the U.S. Postal Service do you?

Dear Angry Reb: Pay no attention to MBD. Your letter is the finest piece of literature I have ever read (including Mark Twain, William Faulkner, Playboy magazine, Mad magazine and The Bible). Were you a Rhodes scholar? Please continue the good work that you are doing. Sincerely, Juan

in “the desk” you’d think that ms gibson would be smiling. after all, she’s about to get paid! not to mention that she’s getting some top quality dubose lovin.

Can’t wait for the final painting in the series called “Colt McCoy’s Mad Cow Diseased Arm!”

All are great, but the last. The pic of Meyer and Tebow are just wrong!

@ 47

I had forgotten about the clan rally….ROFLcopter!!!